Chapter 19 - Canglang Layman
Life in the Ye Ting is much more comfortable than in the Zichen Palace. I have Fuguier to accompany me, Xiaomi to pet, and plenty of free time to play during the day.
The only drawback is that there are no books to read, cultural entertainment is a bit lacking, and the physical labor is quite heavy, so I have to go out to burn night fragrance in the evening.
Li Siyan actually has very little imagination. He poured night incense during the darkest years of his youth, and since then he has felt that pouring night incense is a severe punishment. In fact, this job is not as terrible as he remembers. At least in my opinion, being his attendant is much more disgusting than pouring night incense.
After being ridiculed by me that day, Li Siyan may have reflected on his mistakes behind closed doors. In order to prove that he was capable, and very capable, he angrily issued an imperial decree, allowing Wang Funiang, Wei Wan'er, and several other ladies selected from small clans who were originally scheduled to enter the palace to enter the palace ahead of time.
Very impatient and very disgraceful.
When I heard the news, I was working on my legendary novel.
I’ve had a lot of free time lately, so to relieve my loneliness, I started trying to write legends.
My years of work as a historian laid a good foundation for my writing, so even though I had not read many legends, I quickly got the hang of this new literary style and developed several loyal readers.
For example, my dear Fuguier, since he read my first work, he immediately turned into a crazy maniac who urged me to write. He wanted me to use all twelve hours to write and quickly publish the next book to enrich his lonely life in the palace.
My latest work tells the story of a scholar who is staying away from home and develops a great love affair with a fox fairy girl from a dilapidated temple on his way to take an imperial examination. Due to the touching and melodramatic writing style and the bloody story, this legend quickly became a popular work in the streets of Chang'an, and its sales surpassed Du Fu's new collection of poems. Its popularity is beyond words.
Because I was afraid of being found out by Li Siyan, I also used a shameful pen name: Canglang Jushi.
──When I came up with this name, I was a little worried that people would recognize me. But then I thought, with the dog emperor's low cultural level, he would definitely not know the allusion of "The water of Canglang is so clear that it can wash my tassels."
So I boldly became active in the Chang'an literary world under the name of Canglang Jushi.
At first, I didn't have any creative ambitions. I was just happy that Fuguier liked the stories I wrote. Until one day, a female official from the Shanggong Bureau came to the Nei Shi Bureau to do some business and mentioned that there was a very good legend recently. It told the story of a fox fairy Tushan Xiaowei who seduced a passing scholar. After going through many hardships, the man and the demon finally went to settle down in a fairy mountain overseas.
Besides strongly recommending him, the court lady also inadvertently revealed that Canglang Jushi was now a popular writer sought after by the ladies in Chang'an. There was even a theatre troupe eager to adapt his scripts for a play. Tickets were pre-sold and had already been booked out by the ladies of various families. On the day of the performance, she arrived too late and there was no place to stay in the theatre...
I was so flattered and happy that I rolled around in bed several times and even forgot to ask the troupe for copyright fees.
From that incident on, my passion for creation reached a new level. I was obsessed with the legendary career every day. Even when Xia Fugui gossiped to me about Li Siyan summoning all the beauties into the palace, I just waved my hand casually and said I knew it, and then threw myself back into the intensive creation.
Xia Fugui gossiped, "I heard that Wang Funiang is so beautiful that she can rival the sun and the moon in brilliance."
I quickly put pen to paper and said perfunctorily, "It's true. I've seen her in person. A real beauty. Have you seen Xie Xiuniang, the most beautiful woman in the Imperial Music Bureau? Compared to Wang Funiang, they're like clouds in the sky and mud on the ground. She's not even worthy of holding up her skirt."
Xia Fugui smacked his lips in amazement. "Wow, so impressive! Xie Xiu Niang is already as beautiful as a fairy. Wang Fu Niang is definitely not as beautiful as the Queen Mother herself."
I suddenly had an inspiration and said excitedly, "I was just talking about her. Why don't I write the story of a pipa girl from the Jiaofang Bureau and a young man from a wealthy family in Chang'an in my next legend? The pipa girl is as floating as duckweed, and the young man is romantic and passionate. They met in the dusty world and fell in love without realizing it. Years later, they met again, and the spark of love was unstoppable..."
Xia Fugui's attention was quickly drawn to me, and he urged repeatedly, "This is great! Write it! Write it quickly! If this is truly finished, I think the sales will even surpass the previous book, 'Visiting the Fox Cave'!"
I was so excited that I wrote down the title of this article: Biography of Pipa Ji.
Just like that, Li Siyan and his beautiful concubines were instantly forgotten by me. There was only literature in my heart. I love literature.
However, as the biggest bully in the inner courtyard, Li Siyan always likes to show his presence at inappropriate times, and he cannot be forgotten just because he wants to.
One day, when I was immersed in literary creation and couldn't extricate myself, Xia Fugui suddenly ran over in a hurry, pulled me up and told me: His Majesty has sent someone to whip you!
I was so scared that I rolled over from the kang, packed up the thick quilt, writing brush, ink, paper, and leftover snacks, and quickly moved to Xia Fugui's room through the back door - if these things were seen by Li Siyan's spies, my good days would be completely over.
In order to achieve realism, Xia Fugui sprinkled a handful of coal dust on my face and sent Xiao Mi to stomp on my face and head several times, creating a visual effect of disheveled hair and haggard appearance.
Xia Fugui is indeed an expert in counterfeiting. With this, I don't even need Yexiang anymore. I can just go beg for food on the streets of East Market.
The person who came to carry out the execution was not Qingfu, but a new apprentice that Qingfu had accepted last year, named Hu Yueer. He brought with him several female officials and eunuchs who were in charge of punishment, and a large group of people entered the Ye Ting in a mighty manner.
I stumbled out and said in a hoarse voice, "Hu Yue'er..."
Hu Yue'er was used to seeing me look so delicate when I was with the emperor, so she was really shocked to see me so miserable. She couldn't help but say, "Madam Shen, what are you doing..."
Before I could answer, Xia Fugui, the chief eunuch of the Ye Ting who was chatting and laughing with me half an hour ago, made a grand appearance. He looked so imposing and moved so gracefully that nearly ten pairs of eyes in the yard were looking at him.
He faced me, his breath sinking deep into his dantian, and shouted angrily, "Kneel down!"
Hu Yueer: "Wait... wait!"
"The sinful woman Shen offended His Majesty, causing us to gnash our teeth and be filled with righteous indignation! This sinful woman has fallen into the hands of our imperial court, and we will not let her off easily!" Xia Fugui took the lead and roared, "Chen Ying, you plead guilty!"
I shuddered, staggered to my knees, and thought to myself, Fugui'er is really a good actor. Why is he still serving as the chief steward of the imperial court? Wouldn't it be better for him to be the technical director of the Nancheng Opera Troupe?
Of course, I'm not bad either. As everyone knows, my acting skills only seem exaggerated when I'm facing the Dog Emperor. I can still fool a young boy like Hu Yue'er without any problem. I immediately cried and said, "I don't dare anymore, I don't dare anymore."
"Speak louder! I can't hear you!"
"I don't dare anymore!" I screamed miserably, collapsed to the ground, and covered my face with my hands and cried.
Hu Yueer was so shocked when he saw the seamless cooperation between Xia Fugui and me that he couldn't close his mouth.
Who would have thought that Shen Qijilang, who was lawless in front of the emperor, would become so obedient after entering the palace? Where did this Xia Zongguan come from? Was he an animal trainer before entering the palace?
The look he cast towards Xia Fugui was also full of admiration.
Seeing Hu Yue'er staring at him, Xia Fugui thought his acting wasn't good enough, so he yelled at me even harder, "Why aren't you paying your respects to your Grandpa Hu Yue? You don't know the rules! Are you itching for trouble?"
Hu Yue'er quickly stopped him: "No, no, we are here to torture Madam Shen today, there is no need for these empty formalities."
I didn't move. Hu Yue'er is an honest child. If I really acted servile to him, he might feel uncomfortable.
Xia Fugui snorted, bared his teeth at me ferociously, and walked out in a ostentatious manner, as if he didn't care about anyone.
The whole performance was so natural, he truly deserves to be the man at the pinnacle of court acting.
Hu Yue'er breathed a sigh of relief and said to me, "Madam Chen, please bear with it." After that, he called the female official in charge of the whip. At this time, another female official forced me to kneel on the ground. The sound of the long whip cracking in the air was heard, and the punishment began.
I don't want to describe the execution process, it just hurt, pure pain. The long-term lack of exercise in palace life took away my health, and every whip caused internal injuries to me.
It hurts so much that I grimaced and my hatred towards Li Siyan reached a new high.
Twenty lashes! Will my buttocks still look good after that?
After five lashes, Hu Yue'er ordered the female officer to stop. I turned around with tears on my face and sniffed, "Wasn't it twenty lashes?"
Hu Yue'er said, "Your Majesty is afraid that Madam Shen cannot bear it. He has permitted the twenty lashes to be divided into four sessions, five lashes each, for every ten days."
I immediately refused to do it and yelled, "I don't want to be beaten separately! The sooner I die, the sooner I'll be reborn. It's fine if I beat him once, but what's the point of torturing him four times!"
Hu Yue'er looked embarrassed: "Madam Shen, please don't embarrass us. This is the order from His Majesty himself, and we dare not disobey. If you really can't bear it, we can pass a message to His Majesty on your behalf. Please..."
"What a joke! I wouldn't beg him even if he beat me to death!" I shouted.
The wound was burning with pain and I collapsed to the ground helplessly. Thinking that I would have to endure this pain three more times, I cursed Li Siyan's ancestors for eighteen generations in my heart.
After they walked away, Xia Fugui quickly put on a serious face and ordered his eunuchs to carry me back to the house. He threatened me in front of the eunuchs in a pretentious manner, and then quietly ran in through the back door.
I felt so wronged that I covered my butt and cried out in pain.
Xia Fugui thought I was really dying, and asked nervously, "Let me see if the injury is serious."
I showed him the wound. He was silent for a moment, then expressed his disdain for my pretentiousness: "...Stop crying. It's obvious you've never seen a real torture in the palace. It's just a little skin break. There's no blood drawn. The executioner clearly showed mercy. Remember to thank her someday."
I couldn't believe it and said, "Is this too light?"
Xia Fugui helped me pull my clothes in place and sighed, "Isn't it true? Back when the emperor was in the imperial court, he was caned once and had to lie on the couch for a month before he recovered. He almost lost his life during that time."
He touched my wound again and said, "A minor injury like yours will heal in a few days' rest. You're just sitting there doing nothing anyway, so why not write about the story of the Pipa girl from the music school and the young master?"
Very good, just because of what he said, I'm going on strike tonight.
Because of the punishment, my job of pouring night incense was suspended, and I had more time to spend on writing.
The physical pain tempered my iron will, and my inspiration came like a spring, and I quickly finished the biography of Pipa Ji.
Xia Fugui is well-informed and brought me the latest gossip while I was recuperating.
One day in December, he told me that Li Siyan's beauties had entered the palace.
He also told me that the dog emperor was very impatient and visited the young concubine Du Nian and Shangguan Baolin that night. It is said that he left the Purple Palace with a satisfied look on his face and was in a good mood all day.
I was amazed: "...Good guy, Ye Yu's two daughters, he wasted his kidney water when he was young, and he will regret it when he is old!"
The next day, Xia Fugui brought me more fresh gossip. The emperor visited Wang Funiang in Qingsi Palace. In his joy, he gave her the entire Qingsi Palace as her bedroom and also gave her the title of talented woman.
It is said that Wang Funiang expressed her gratitude in a tactful way and performed an impromptu Liuyao dance on the waterside pavilion. The emperor was greatly pleased and clapped his hands to sing, praising her for her ability as the Flying Swallow of the Han Palace.
I sighed, "It's unlucky to praise someone using Zhao Feiyan!"
On the third day, Fang Youlan, the concubine of the Earl of Yongning, on the fourth day, the twin dancers sent by the Grand Commandant, on the fifth day...
Okay, I know you are as strong and powerful as ever, so please give the beauties a break!
This New Year, stories of the emperor's reveling every night were spreading in every corner of the palace, and everyone was amazed at the emperor's sudden enlightenment.
There are even rumors that the emperor won over his three most beloved beauties on New Year's Eve. They played mahjong on the imperial couch all night, and the Purple Palace was filled with laughter. They were so warm and beautiful, full of spring.
Although I always feel that playing mahjong on New Year’s Eve... sounds so weird.
As for me... after this, everyone knew that the emperor was very capable, very happy, and had many concubines, so the discussion surrounding me gradually disappeared. Everyone thought that I had fallen out of favor, was locked up alone in the palace, and had a miserable end.
After being teased by my colleagues who were pouring night fragrance for the 23rd time, I asked Xia Fugui with great confusion: "Do they all think I'm miserable?"
Xia Fugui said, "That's how it is in the palace, they step down on the low and praise the high."
I chewed on some dried noodles and sighed contentedly, "Alas, if you are not a fish, how can you understand the joy of a fish?"
Let them think whatever they want! As someone involved, I can say I am extremely relieved:
The emperor finally realized that his concubine was more fun and easier to sleep with than his concubine! I have been waiting for this day for two years, two years!
Xia Fugui looked at my overjoyed face and described me as an old mother who was marrying off her silly son, sneaking into the house on the second day after the bridal chamber, picking up the bride's handkerchief and showing a perverted and satisfied smile.
What a vivid rhetoric!
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