Chapter 23 Chapter 23 - Changing Units
Wei Wan'er looked very worried, and her small hands were twisting the handkerchief nervously.
I followed her gaze and saw Li Siyan's handsome face fall.
His facial features are angular, and the corners of his mouth and eyes are as sharp as knives. When he frowns, he looks violent and tyrannical.
I don't know what he is angry about, but it has nothing to do with me anyway.
Wei Wan'er saw me coming and forced a smile at me and said, "Madam Shen is back? Do you have any good words?"
I handed the manuscript to her with both hands and said softly, "This is the sentence we just wrote. It's all stupid and vulgar. I'm sorry to have made you laugh."
She took it and whispered, “Thank you, Madam Shen.”
I said nothing more, and smiled faintly, "It's Cairen I who should be thanking."
After saying that, I took my leave from her, walked past the Dog Emperor in broad daylight, and went outside the cloud tent to get some fresh air.
Qingfu had been waiting for me outside the tent for a long time. As soon as he saw me, he pulled me to a deserted corner and scolded me: "I knew you'd get mad if I didn't stir up trouble! I didn't pay attention to you and you jumped into a group of men. Is this the place for you? You're such a jerk, you don't act like a lady at all!"
I got scolded for no apparent reason and immediately got upset. "What's wrong with being around men? I've been playing with boys since I was a child. Besides, it was Wei Cairen and Li Siyan who gave the nod to let me join the poetry competition. They didn't say anything, so why are you so upset, Grandpa Qingfu?"
Qingfu was so angry that he blew his beard and glared at me: "You still talk back! If you anger His Majesty, aren't you afraid of losing your head?"
I said confidently, "You saw what happened that day. Li Siyan was just too reluctant to kill me."
Qingfu covered my mouth with his hand and said fiercely, "Shut up! I think you're going crazy. Go to the carriage and rest! I'll take care of His Majesty."
I groaned, "What are you doing? I'm perfectly sober."
But Qingfu was convinced that I had lost my mind, and he ignored all the sounds I made as nonsense. I was unhappy with his attitude, and I was determined to prove to him that my illness did not affect the depth of my thinking. I gave a long and organized analysis:
"Look, last time I told him what was on his mind, he was stubborn and didn't dare to admit it. He just threw me to the Yunting for more than four months before calling me back to the Zichen Palace. Humph, I think he's just feeling guilty and he can't bear to do anything to me...ah!"
When I was talking excitedly, Qingfu grabbed a water jar and poured it over my head without warning.
It's so chilling.
I blinked, unable to accept this fact.
I, a patient, was poured with cold water.
It was early spring, and the ice on the river had just melted. The water was so cold that it was unbearable to just touch it with your fingers, let alone get it poured all over your head.
My senses suddenly became extraordinarily sharp. I was so cold that my teeth were chattering. I screamed in fear, hugged myself tightly, and shouted angrily, "What are you doing?"
Qingfu said coldly: "I want you to wake up."
He threw the water jar aside, dragged me to the carriage, and told the eunuch, "Lock her in the carriage and don't let her run around."
My hair was still dripping with water, and I sneezed several times in a row. My head felt dizzy and painful, as if it was about to split open. Two eunuchs carried me back to the carriage. I had no strength left and slid down from the seat softly.
The sliding down posture is similar to the height of noodles on the edge of a soup spoon.
Qingfu personally lifted me up and sat me down, straightening my face. He said in a very soft voice, "I splashed water on you to wake you up. Listen: the past is the past, and the present is the present. Four months ago, His Majesty spared your life out of a small favor, but now that his harem is peaceful and prosperous, will he still show you extra leniency?"
I said angrily, "Of course he wouldn't. Everyone knows that he has three thousand beauties in his harem and is living a peaceful life. But why did he call me out from the palace? Couldn't his attendant ask for leave and borrow a compiler from the History Bureau to deal with it? Why did he have to find a patient like me? Since you are so clear-headed, please explain this to me!"
In fact, there are precedents for this, and I am not making it up.
When I was six years old, I went to the palace to visit my father. Why was he there? It was because the late emperor's two attendants were on leave, and the prime minister asked my father to take over temporarily until the other two attendants recovered.
Of course Qingfu couldn't answer such a life-threatening question. He twitched his lips and looked like he wanted to pour cold water on me again.
"You have so many faults, one of which is your presumptuous nature." Qingfu squinted at me and said sarcastically, "Today is the Shangsi Festival, and everyone in the government and the country needs to rest. You're borrowing a compiler from the History Bureau? That's easy for you to say. Don't they need to rest? I should have just captured you and taken your place for a day. Who knew you were so useless, sick and drunk? If I had known this would happen, I would have just done as you suggested and borrowed someone from the History Bureau. It would have been easier for me."
I felt that he was wrong, but my sick head was dizzy and I couldn't find the words to refute him. I could only pout in dissatisfaction.
Qingfu said, "You stay here honestly and don't go anywhere."
I turned my head away.
Qingfu asked, "Did you hear that?"
"I know." I replied sullenly.
After Qingfu left, I felt sleepy again, so I decided to take a nap first, regardless of winter, summer, spring or autumn.
I leaned against the car door and dozed off for about an hour. Suddenly, there was a noise outside, which made me quite annoyed. I turned over with my pillow in my arms, opened my eyes slightly, and looked out.
It was getting late, the sun was slanting, the banquet had ended, and a group of palace servants were dismantling the cloud tent.
Finally, the time came to return to the palace, and I closed my eyes happily again.
My second sleep was long and sound. Not even the sound of the carriage setting off for the imperial carriage to enter the capital could wake me. When I woke up again, the carriage had stopped at the gate of Zichen. Qingfu slapped my arm roughly and said mercilessly, "Stop sleeping! Get down here!"
He woke me up from my sleepy sleep and I collapsed on my seat like a pile of mud.
Seeing that I had no intention of moving, Qingfu began to call his disciples and grandchildren: "Hu Yue'er, come here and carry her into the hall."
"No need for Hu Yue'er, it's not like I don't have long legs." I muttered, rubbing my eyes, and using my hands and feet, I got out of the carriage very ungracefully.
"Hurry up, don't forget your mission isn't over yet. Return to the Purple Palace immediately. Don't keep His Majesty waiting in the study for too long." Qingfu's attitude was extremely harsh. "Hu Yue'er, send her over."
Hu Yueer agreed with a sigh.
"Why are you chasing me? I'm not a cow or a sheep!" I said unhappily.
Qingfu ignored me. After giving Hu Yueer his instructions, he flicked his sleeves indifferently and turned away.
I was completely baffled. I took out my handkerchief to wipe the drool from the corners of my mouth. I glanced at Qingfu's angry back and asked Hu Yue'er in confusion, "What's wrong with your master? He was fine just now, but now that I haven't seen him for a while, he looks like I owe him eight hundred taels of gold."
Hu Yue'er was a simple-minded kid. When I asked him, he answered truthfully, "Madam Shen, I don't know. Just now, His Majesty asked where you had been. The master said you went to rest in the carriage. His Majesty got angry when he heard that and said... that you were so carefree and didn't take him seriously at all. Seeing that things were not going well, the master took the initiative to say that it was his arrangement. His Majesty got angry and gave the master a scolding. The master was unhappy, so he was not polite in his words just now..."
My sense of justice kicked in at an inopportune moment, and I immediately forgave Qingfu's bad attitude. I angrily said, "Is there something wrong with Li Siyan? I offended him, so why is he giving Grandpa Qingfu such a bad face?"
Hu Yueer has long been accustomed to me scolding the emperor every day, so he didn't react too much.
But habit is habit, and he dared not agree with it, so he just said vaguely: "The heart of the saint is hard to predict..."
He hesitated for a moment, wanting to say something but seeming afraid to. Finally, he lowered his voice and said, "Madam Shen, please be nicer to my master from now on. He may look scary, but he's actually very kind-hearted. When Madam Shen first went to the palace, His Majesty... He was very unhappy and would beat or kill any palace maid who made a mistake. Jinlian and Jinliu were almost sentenced to death for simply not packing Madam Shen's belongings properly. Fortunately, they were stopped by their master."
My head suddenly cleared a little, and I said in a panic, "What? Your Majesty is unhappy? How come I didn't know? I thought he was just an eyesore without me around, and that he was living a carefree and happy life."
Hu Yue'er's face wrinkled like a bitter melon, and he was so worried that juice was about to drip out. "How could my wife know? During that time, His Majesty always stayed alone in the study, not letting anyone in, and had a gloomy face every day. When the master saw this, he didn't explain the reason, but strictly ordered us not to reveal a single word to anyone."
I quickly asked, "Never mind how he's doing, what about you guys? Are your master, Su Xi Hui Yue, Jin Lian Jin Liu, and the others all okay?"
He was startled. "That's not the case. His Majesty's temper comes and goes quickly. After he gets angry at us, he'll just stay in his study for an hour or two and calm down. If Grandpa Qingfu comes in and talks with us, we won't have to suffer punishment."
I breathed a sigh of relief: "That's good."
Hu Yue'er seemed quite touched by my unexpected concern. "... Madam Shen is kind to us, and we all know that. To be honest, His Majesty wanted to go to the palace several times to bring you back, but it was only Master who persuaded him that it wasn't worth arguing with a... ignorant and shrewish woman, so he didn't do it."
All the sleepiness in my body was scared away, and I stammered, "What did you say? He even thought about bringing me back from the palace?"
Hu Yue'er said, "That happened years ago. After that, he issued an order for the ladies to enter the palace, and he never mentioned asking you to come back again. After the ladies entered the palace, none of us, the left and right clerks, nor Wei Qijilang, dared to mention you in front of His Majesty."
"So what happened today? Was he bored and suddenly thought of me?"
Hu Yue'er said, "Yes, it's been so long, His Majesty's anger must have subsided. A few days ago, Wei Qijulang told me that his mother was ill and he was hesitating whether to return home to see her. Later, His Majesty heard about this and directly granted him a two-month leave. But unfortunately, Bai Qijulang broke his leg, so there was no one in the imperial court. He could only ask you to come back for a day."
I always feel it's a bit strange that Bai Qijulang's leg was broken at such a coincidence that it makes people suspect that he has some ulterior motive.
But I can barely protect myself right now, and I have no time to doubt the mystery behind Bai Qiju's legs. I asked wistfully, "...After today, can I still go back to the palace?"
Hu Yue'er heard the nostalgia in my words and asked in confusion, "Madam, why did you go back to that damn place? Manager Xia treated you so harshly. Now that you have the opportunity to stay in Zichen Palace, you don't have to go back to suffer under him anymore."
I smiled awkwardly and said, "...this, isn't this a habit?"
Under Hu Yueer's horrified gaze that said, "Can you get used to this kind of life?", I turned my head away speechlessly and suppressed the strong urge to vomit blood.
Damn it, how could I dare to tell him that I finished writing six legends in Ye Ting, ate several kilograms of crispy fried fish fillets, smoothed Xiao Mi's fur, wrote manuscripts for Fuguier, played carefree for more than four months, and gained three kilograms!
After sharing the latest gossip, Hu Yue'er escorted me to the Purple Palace, said goodbye, and went to the inner palace to do his work. Before leaving, he kindly left me a message: "...Your Majesty is busy with government affairs. The dew is heavy at night in early spring. My lady, when you return home tonight, remember to wear more clothes."
The implication is: Sister, you may have to stay up late and work overtime.
"Thank you, Hu Yueer!" I gave him an ugly smile.
My smile fell as soon as I turned around.
...Busy government affairs! It's after the New Year, March, time for spring planting! The world is peaceful, nothing's happening, how could he have so much government affairs to deal with? It's obvious he's just slacking off in his study!
I stood at the door of the imperial study, took two deep breaths, knocked on the door and said, "Chen Ying requests an audience."
Usually Li Siyan would let me in immediately, but this time he showed amazing patience. I stood straight outside the door, staring at the door for a whole cup of tea, but the dog emperor still didn't let me in.
I gave Su Xing beside me a questioning look.
Su Xing ruthlessly rejected my application to escape.
I pouted in frustration and continued to wait patiently.
After waiting for about a cup of tea, the Dog Emperor finally took enough Qiao and said calmly, "Come in."
I put my hands in my pockets, lowered my head, gently pushed the door open, and walked in sideways.
The moment I opened the door, Li Siyan put something back into the secret compartment of his desk, then unfolded a sheet of paper expressionlessly and began to read.
After a whole day of fun, he looked a little tired. When he lowered his eyes to read the report, his double eyelids were as obvious as if they had been chopped by an axe.
Seeing that he ignored me, I simply bowed and sat down at my desk, thinking boredly: The dog emperor might have some Western ancestry, with big double eyelids and long eyelashes. I have the impression that the previous emperor had delicate single eyelids, so his eyes should be like his mother's.
I didn't speak, and he didn't speak either. We were both in silence in the same space, and the air was as quiet as a deep lake.
Time passed bit by bit, until──
Until I sneezed loudly, breaking the silence in the room.
In such a quiet environment, my sneeze was no different from a thunderous one.
Li Siyan finally remembered that there was a living person like me in the room. He put down the music, raised his head and glanced at me sideways:
"Are you sick?"
I wiped my nose and said, "It's a cold."
My poor little nose was almost rubbed off and it was burning.
He admired my embarrassment for a while, and after a while, he lowered his head again and casually stroked the new gold inkstone.
He had achieved his goal of torturing me, and with a tone that seemed both satisfying and compassionate, he said, "It seems you've suffered enough in the palace. Do you now realize your mistakes?"
Looking at his high-handed and extremely arrogant attitude, I really want to tell the truth: I am not wrong, I will dare to do it again in the future.
But in order to protect my comrade Xia Fugui, I still honestly said, "I know I was wrong."
As he spoke, he rubbed his nose hard to suppress the urge to sneeze.
Perhaps I admitted my mistake too readily, Li Siyan was obviously stunned for a moment, then sat up straight and looked at me carefully, his sword-like eyebrows slowly frowning into the shape of a "川" character.
"Were you bullied in the Ye Ting?" he asked, with a hint of anger in his voice.
I choked, stumped by this question. If I said I was bullied, everyone in the palace would cry and say they were innocent. But if I said no one bullied me... the dog emperor might become suspicious again, and then Xia Fugui and I would lose our personal relationship, and we would both be finished.
In order to avoid this difficult question, I pretended not to hear it and sneezed twice in a row.
The Dog Emperor is a master of imagination. In his eyes, my guilty escape was just a wronged acquiescence. When I took a handkerchief to wipe my nose, he saw it as if I had been tortured to death in the palace.
Through his outrageous imagination, he finally developed a faint, almost non-existent sense of guilt towards me.
Li Siyan was a very arrogant man, so he expressed his guilt in a very roundabout way. He snorted and said, "Just bear with it. You brought this upon yourself."
Yes, you are right. I listened silently, as if I saw the dog emperor wandering around looking for a step to get down.
But just when I thought he had found the right step and was about to step on it, he suddenly changed the subject and said coldly:
"But since you've committed such a grave mistake, you're no longer qualified to be a Recorder. From now on, you'll go to Wan'er's Xuanwei Palace and serve as her Secretary."
I was about to agree when I suddenly realized something was wrong.
"Xuan...Xuanwei Palace? Secretary?"
I was really surprised. The handkerchief in my hand fell on the desk with a plop, and I opened my mouth slightly.
Oh my god, I thought he was looking for a way to transfer me back to Zichen Palace after all this time, but I didn't expect that he would just grab the way and send me to his concubine.
Seeing that I was so shocked as if I had seen a ghost, Li Siyan said impatiently again: "I just want you to accompany Wan'er."
"Accompany her...to study?"
It seems that the palace is very popular with literature recently, and even the queen is recruiting tutors.
Li Siyan said, "She likes poetry and books, but most of the palace maids are illiterate. After all, you are the only one in the palace who can talk to her about the art of writing."
Li Siyan rarely explains the reasons for his actions, but this time he talked so much to me, which shows how much he values Wei Wan'er.
After listening to his words, I thought about it carefully. Well... I am indeed the female with the highest literary literacy in the entire palace, and I am also an unemployed vagrant without a regular job. It is not a bad arrangement for me to accompany Wei Wan'er to study.
Seeing that I was hesitant to agree, Li Siyan gently stroked his golden inkstone with his right index finger and said softly, "If you don't want to, you can go to Qingsi Palace. There is only one thing, that is, I don't want to see you in Zichen Palace anymore."
His tone was unusually calm and distant, as if he was talking to a complete stranger.
I was stunned for a moment, then blurted out, "If Your Majesty doesn't want to see me, why not let me serve as a servant in the palace, or just let me leave the palace."
After I said that, I regretted it. The dog emperor specially pardoned me, but I was so disrespectful to him. He must be furious again.
However, the expected thunderstorm did not arrive. Li Siyan was exceptionally calm today. He simply paused, then stared blankly ahead and said, "Go to another palace first, Qingsi Palace or Xuanwei Palace. Perhaps one day, when I'm in a good mood, I'll wipe the slate clean and let you go."
He was calm, but I was not. My pupils shrank and my heart started beating wildly.
He said he would let me out.
I couldn't believe it and subconsciously thought he was just exaggerating again, but when I looked closely at his expression, it didn't seem like he was lying.
His face was filled with exhaustion and confusion. Throughout the day, in the few times we communicated, he studiously avoided my gaze. Perhaps he had truly grown tired of me during these four months and realized that life was better without me nagging him.
It may also be because he has a harem, which contains all kinds of beauties, fat and thin, each of whom is better at singing and dancing than me, and more knowledgeable and interesting.
Whatever the reason is, I can now stay away from him with a clear conscience!
When I realized this, my eyes lit up with joy.
"Your Majesty! I will definitely serve as a secretary to Lady Wei. I will go tomorrow!"
Fearing that Li Siyan would regret it, I shouted in the most grateful tone I had since entering the palace: "Thank you, Your Majesty!"
Li Siyan lowered his eyes, his expression still indifferent, but his fingers were tightly gripping his inkstone, squeezing so hard that his knuckles turned bluish-white.
"Okay, as you wish."
He said through gritted teeth.
I was immersed in great joy and didn't notice that the dog emperor's face was getting uglier and uglier.
After the joy, she began to regret: Damn it! If I had known this would happen, from the first day I entered the palace, I should have begged Li Siyan to take her in quickly!
I was in a very good mood and wrote with a big stroke: Write it down, write it all down!
In order to stand my last shift well and commemorate the moment of my job change, I specially switched to the Yu style regular script that I rarely use, and wrote down every word carefully: The emperor dislikes the attendant Shen and orders him to be dismissed... After I finished writing, I admired my own calligraphy narcissistically.
I may be the happiest deposed official in history. I want to beat drums and gongs and announce to the whole palace: I am laid off, let everyone celebrate!
Corresponding to my happiness is Li Siyan’s gloom.
Just as I was admiring my beautiful regular script, a gloomy voice came to my ears.
"Get out."
He ordered me calmly.
His calmness is like a lake, seemingly normal, but underneath there is a volcano ready to erupt at any time.
I was particularly obedient tonight. When he told me to get out, I rolled over swiftly and smoothly without saying a word. I stood up and made a hasty goodbye. Before I could even pull my hand back, my legs had already taken the first step towards running away.
I felt like I was running towards freedom.
Two steps, three steps... My steps became lighter and lighter, like a fluttering little bird in March, flapping its little wings and flying towards the north.
As I took the sixth step towards freedom, Li Siyan suddenly called my name.
"Chen Ying."
I paused and turned to ask, "Your Majesty, do you have any further instructions?"
I thought he wanted me to call Qingfu in when I went out.
Li Siyan sat in the empty imperial study, still holding the memorial in his hand. His usual arrogant pretense was gone at this moment, and he exuded a strong sense of decadence and loneliness.
I rarely saw him like this, and I took a step back uncomfortably.
I was about to leave when he finally looked at me directly and seriously. I was surprised to find that his eyes were slightly moist, which sent me an uneasy signal.
I comforted myself: Maybe it was because some inappropriate incense was lit in the room today, and his eyes were hurting, so he wanted me to take the sachet out?
But he neither asked me to call Qingfu over nor asked me to touch the exquisite incense ball.
He just stared at me and said, "Look, I can live happily even without you."
I didn't understand and asked uncertainly, "What do you mean, Your Majesty?"
"That day you asked me if I liked you a little." Li Siyan smiled, a very sad and creepy smile: "Now you know the answer."
It suddenly dawned on me that I understood what he was worried about.
He actually remembered the almanac from four months ago word for word. I was speechless. Damn, how could this man be so narrow-minded than a needle tip?
But I was about to leave, and of course I didn't want to argue with him, so I curved my eyebrows, gave him a pleasant smile, and coaxed him:
"Those were just angry words, Your Majesty. Don't take them to heart. Everyone knows it now: Your Majesty's harem is peaceful and harmonious, and the concubines are gentle and sweet. It makes no difference whether I am here or not. It's better not to have one."
Although I said it as a lie, every word came from the heart. I sincerely hope that Li Siyan can have a high-quality marriage and heal his festering old scars.
When I first entered the palace two years ago, I just hoped that this bad guy would bring me bad luck, but after staying with him for a long time, I found that he was a good material for being an emperor. Meng Xu and I had debated on this issue before. He was a disciple of Confucius and Mencius, and believed that a king should be benevolent and kind first. From the perspective of a historian, I think it is better to be a little immoral to be an emperor. If I have to summarize it in high-sounding words, it is: sacrifice small righteousness for the sake of big righteousness.
Therefore, as a scholar who has been brainwashed with loyalty to the emperor and patriotism since childhood, although I despise Li Siyan's bad character, for the stability of the country, I still hold my nose and accept him as my emperor.
Being an emperor can benefit all people if one has a higher quality marriage and more stable emotions.
Perhaps it's because words are often spoken well when a person is about to depart. I said earnestly, "...Your Majesty has not been kind to me. You must never treat the ladies so lightly in the future. They are living girls with their own joys and sorrows. If Your Majesty doesn't treat them with sincerity, their love will eventually wither."
Li Siyan didn't expect me to say this. He stared at me silently for a long time and asked dryly, "How do you know I'm not sincere?"
I smiled. "I have nothing, and the only comfort in my life is being sincerely loved by my family and friends. Your Majesty, no one in Chang'an knows what true love looks like better than me."
"Then tell me what love is like. Who do you love, Meng Xu?" he asked sarcastically.
I didn't expect him to start bringing up Meng Xu's old grudges again, and I sighed in my heart: I said so much just now, but he didn't listen to a word of it.
This person's heart is like a hedgehog armor covered with spikes, which is invulnerable to swords and guns but also unaffected by anything.
Perhaps it is not his fault. To love and to be loved are rare things in this world. Moreover, he was born in an indifferent imperial family and grew up in a dark and cramped palace. He had no chance to know what love is.
I said patiently, "Brother Meng is an important relative of mine."
Li Siyan's ferocious expression suddenly calmed down a lot when he heard me say the word "relatives".
He stared at me blankly for a moment, then suddenly closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and said in a tone of frustration, as if he had given up:
"If you want, you can stay in Zichen Palace. I allow you... allow you to stay here... You don't have to do anything... just stay here."
After saying that, he seemed to have unloaded a huge burden, and instead relaxed. He no longer avoided my gaze deliberately, and returned to his usual self, even more doting and indulgent than when we didn't quarrel.
"Although you always make me angry, you are also quite interesting. If you stay, you only need to serve me occasionally, and all expenses and salary will still be based on the rate of a sixth-rank attendant..." He said as if he was tempting a small animal with food: "As long as you remain in the Purple Palace, I will indulge you in anything."
"I don't want it."
My response to him was a resounding rejection.
The gentleness and indulgence he tried so hard to maintain were torn to pieces by my shout of "no".
I bowed deeply and said seriously, "Your Majesty, I want to go to Xuanwei Palace."
Most of the time, Li Siyan behaved like a moody mad dog. He quarreled with me, forced me to work, and mocked me in a sarcastic way, but he never showed this kind of undisguised disappointment.
Suddenly I had a strange illusion: Am I the owner of the dog emperor, and now I am ruthlessly abandoning him?
I shook my head and told myself to be more sober. The dog emperor was in power, but in terms of status, I was the puppy he kept.
But, you are the master, why do you have such an expression?
From my perspective, Li Siyan's fox eyes are becoming dimmer and dimmer, with a faint light of water in them.
"Okay, okay...you don't want to stay."
He muttered to himself, and it seemed as if flames were dancing all over his body, gradually spreading out and becoming a prairie fire.
With a snap, a bamboo pen was broken, followed by Li Siyan's furious roar:
"Then go to Xuanwei Palace and never appear before me again in this life."
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