Chapter 9 Chapter 9 - Go home often
A senior of mine once wrote: In the thirty-fifth year, Chu attacked Sui. Sui said, "I am innocent." Chu said, "I am a barbarian." I think it is very suitable to describe the relationship between me and Li Siyan.
The predecessor who wrote this sentence was later castrated by the dog emperor of that time because he was disobedient. He used his painful experience in life to leave another warning: He who knows the times is a hero.
In order to have a smooth trip tomorrow, I can only follow the advice of my ancestors and work late into the night to write that damn biography.
When I spread out the paper, I suddenly remembered, "Dan Dan", I don't even know Li Siyan's mother's last name.
I had no choice but to go to the main hall to find Qingfu, who was on night duty, and ask him, "Qingfu, do you know what His Majesty's mother's surname is?"
Qingfu was horrified, raised his orchid finger, and said with a pretentious look as if his ears had been stained: "How can you swear!"
Me: …shit.
After explaining it to Qingfu, he finally understood what I was asking, and he gave me a very concise answer: "The Empress Dowager's mother's surname was Yu. Before she entered the palace, her father was an assistant minister in the Ministry of Personnel."
I thanked Qingfu and went back to write a big title on a piece of paper: Biography of the Yu Family.
After a long time, I sighed and picked up the pen to write: Biography of Empress Dowager Yu.
The next day, I went to see Li Siyan with a fresh copy of the Biography of Empress Dowager Yu and a pair of gloomy dark circles under my eyes. I said listlessly, "Can I go out now?"
Li Siyan looked at my dark circles and frowned, "Did you stay up late?"
In order to show how much I valued this assignment, I used charcoal ash to draw a pair of dark circles under my eyes, making me look very bleak.
I whispered, "It's okay."
Li Siyan said, "Next time, you are not allowed to stay up late. If you dare to hang around in front of me with dark circles under your eyes again, I will beat you with a stick."
He didn't read the biography of Empress Dowager Yu and just stuffed it into the library.
After exiting the Purple Palace, I immediately perked up and urged Qingfu, "Hurry up! The palace gate will open soon. I want to go home!"
Qingfu rolled his eyes in a sarcastic way and slowly arranged a sedan chair for me. I complained, "My home is far away, and a sedan chair is slow. I want a carriage."
"You're still so picky!" Qingfu was furious. He threw up his sleeves and shouted angrily to the young eunuch, "Hu Yue'er, get Shen Qijulang a new carriage and pick a few strong guards to accompany her. Don't let her run away!"
This time I was satisfied. I thanked Qingfu joyfully and blew a kiss to the pony pulling the cart.
The carriage swayed slowly to Anyifang, and I ran to my door and knocked hard on the doorknob.
As the corner door opened, a man with an unfamiliar face walked out.
I smiled and said, "Are you new here? Open the door for me. I am the young lady who entered the palace as a chamberlain. I came back today to visit my relatives."
The doorman shook his head and said, "Young lady, you must have come to the wrong place. Our master's surname is Wu, and we don't have any daughters working in the palace."
I was confused for a moment, then looked up at the plaque. It did indeed have the word "Wu" written on it. Suddenly, I remembered that my aunt had mentioned she was selling the house, so I quickly asked, "Do you know where the Shen family who used to live here moved to?"
Menzi said honestly: "I was just bought into the Wu family last month. I don't know who lives in this house."
After saying that, he politely asked me to leave. I walked to the entrance of the alley in a daze, looked around, not knowing where to go.
At this moment, the corner door of the Meng family at the end of the alley suddenly opened, and a woman who was buying vegetables walked out. The doorman who opened the door for her accidentally saw me and asked in surprise, "Miss Shen?"
I quickly grabbed him and asked, "Is your eldest young master home?"
The doorman blinked, his eyes falling on the four tall and strong guards behind me, and he asked timidly, "Madam, what do you want to see my eldest young master for?"
I thought it was normal for me to look for my fiancé, but when I thought about the four spies of the dog emperor following me, I could only say to him, "I'm looking for Master Meng... um... I want to ask where my family moved to."
The doorman said "oh" and left for a long time. Then, a quarrel could be heard from the Meng Mansion. After a while, Meng Xu came out from the gate. When he saw me, he smiled warmly and said happily, "Ying... Madam Chen, are you taking a day off today?"
The moment I saw him, tears welled up in my eyes and I whispered, "Your Majesty, please allow me to leave the palace for a day."
"Well," Meng Xu nodded. "I heard the reason from Menzi. Maybe you don't know yet, but Aunt Shen has moved from Anyifang to Shengyefang. I guess you don't know the exact location, so why not let me take you there."
My heart was pounding as I nodded and said, "Please trouble you, Master Meng."
He winked at me: "Nothing."
Meng Xu got into the carriage with me. I sat inside and he sat next to the coachman. Four guards followed behind the carriage. I held my chin and looked at his handsome back. No matter how much I looked at him, I felt it was not enough.
I never thought that I had just met Meng Xu yesterday, and I was lucky enough to meet him again today. It must be that my father’s spirit in heaven received the paper money I sent and finally decided to give his unfortunate daughter some good luck.
I couldn't help but smile foolishly. It was so nice to be outside the palace. It was so lively and free.
A quarter of an hour later, I stood in front of the new house my aunt bought, my mouth opened into a stupid ball shape.
The word "Chen" on the door plaque was shining brightly, exuding a strong nouveau riche temperament. The house had obviously just been renovated, and everything was brand new. It was many times better than the small, shabby house we originally had in Anyifang.
Meng Xu praised: "This house is very rare. The location is good and the style is beautiful. Auntie really has great taste."
I said to my aunt dryly, "Aunt, didn't you say you wanted to move to a smaller house? Is there something wrong with my understanding of small?"
My aunt sighed, "Oh, things are different now. Your salary, your father's, your second uncle's, and your brother's pensions, the money from selling the house, plus my dowry—can you imagine how much money that is? I was afraid someone would covet this money, so I exchanged it all for land deeds. This house alone is nothing. I also have dozens of acres of first-class farmland in the western suburbs of Chang'an and three shops in prime locations in the East Market."
She boasted to me proudly, "Earlier, that official Feng insisted that our family wasn't of high enough rank and wouldn't sell the house. So I immediately threw your official title, Yingying, in front of him and asked him if he was qualified to be the Imperial Attendant. As soon as he saw the official title, he lost his temper and sold the house to me without a second thought."
My mouth opened even wider. Is this the use of a hall attendant?
Seeing my look of shock, my aunt sighed and said, "You never thought, when our family was still a family, we were all poor. But after we got into bad luck, we became rich. Life is so unpredictable."
I said, "What's the use of having money if the person is gone?"
My aunt was optimistic: "It's better than having no one and no money. His Majesty has allowed them to be buried with the ceremony of a fourth-rank official. It can be said that their sacrifice was not in vain. There are so many such cases. Think about it, the dead are gone, and we who are still alive should live a good life."
She looked at Meng Xu again and smiled with great satisfaction: "Nephew Meng, you've had a hard journey. It's been a long time since we last met. Come in and have some tea."
Meng Xu agreed generously: "When I was working in the Secretariat, I always missed the delicious tea cakes here, Aunt. Now that I have benefited from Yingying's kindness, I have the audacity to ask for tea from Aunt."
My aunt asked the servant to close the door, and all of Li Siyan's guards were locked outside. Meng Xu and I finally didn't have to pretend to be strangers anymore.
I held Meng Xu in one hand and hugged my aunt with the other. Surrounded by my family, my eyes suddenly turned red and I choked out a sob, "Aunt, I don't want to stay in the palace anymore. Li Siyan, that bastard, is always torturing me. It was fine before that he asked me to go to the palace to pour night incense, but yesterday during the Ghost Festival, he even forced me to kowtow to his dead mother. What's going on?"
The aunt was confused: "Why did I ask you to kowtow to... to the Queen Mother?"
I said dejectedly, "I slipped out to burn paper money for my father, and he caught me. He happened to be offering sacrifices to his mother as well, and then he forced me to kowtow in front of her spirit. I didn't want to, so I got into a fight with him, but he was so sinister and treacherous, with no moral principles. He took advantage of my inattention, forced my head to kneel before her, and even forced me to write a biography of Empress Dowager Yu for her before he granted me a day off."
After saying so much, I suspect my aunt only heard one sentence: I had a fight with the dog emperor.
Her expression was very interesting, and she raised and lowered her hands several times. If Meng Xu hadn't been there, this woman would have beaten me to a pulp on the spot.
Meng Xu's brows also furrowed, and he squeezed my hand slightly harder.
He has always been a reserved person, and to use such force was to show that he was very angry.
I was overwhelmed with grief and buried my head in his shoulder, sobbing.
No matter how the dog emperor humiliated me, I didn't shed a single tear in the palace. But after leaving the palace, all kinds of grievances surged in my heart. All the tears accumulated over these days fell on Meng Xu's shoulders. I kept crying, and a large area of his clothes was wet.
The latter patted my back gently and said distressedly: "Yingying has worked hard, have a good cry."
My good aunt has always been a woman who knows how to read the atmosphere very well. From the moment I hit Meng Xu's shoulder, she gave up beating me, left tactfully, and even considerately closed the door for both of us.
I enumerated Li Siyan's crimes to Meng Xu, one after another, just like when we were little. I chattered on and on, and he listened quietly. A sense of peace enveloped me. As I talked, I gradually felt sleepy and fell asleep with my head resting on his shoulder.
When I woke up again, it was already noon.
After I woke up, I beat my chest and stamped my feet in regret. Half of my precious day off was wasted in a flash. I was so heartbroken that I wanted to cry but had no tears.
Meng Xu smiled: "Seeing that you are still as kind as before, I don't know how happy I am."
In order to welcome my vacation, my aunt specially called Xiaochuan back from his classmate's house.
A few months passed, and Xiaochuan had grown taller. When he saw me, he rushed towards me like a cannonball and shouted, "Sister!"
I also ran towards him and shouted, “Shen Xiaochuan, did you fight with your classmates in the Imperial College?”
Xiaochuan asked awkwardly, "How did you know?"
"When the chief priest came to see the emperor, the boy he brought with him told me, 'Tell me, why did you fight with your classmates?'"
Xiaochuan said angrily, "I only regret that I was too lenient back then! It's fine if they look down on me, but they also humiliate you. Sister, you don't know how much that third brat from the Shi family deserves a beating. He said sarcastically that I was able to enter the Imperial College because of my sister's hard work for the emperor. He also said that you, a girl, was appointed as the emperor's close minister. Maybe... maybe..."
He lowered his voice, looked at my face carefully, and didn't dare to say any more.
I clenched my fist, my knuckles crackling, and said indifferently, "Which historian? The one whose entire family served as censors?"
Ogawa nodded cautiously.
Children's words are mostly learned from adults. It seems that the historian has been gossiping about me behind my back a lot.
I laughed: "I understand. It's okay, Xiaochuan. I will take care of this bitch and let him know what it means to be a minister close to the emperor and bully others by taking advantage of his power."
My aunt advised me, "It's not easy for you in the palace, don't worry about these things."
Meng Xu, who had been standing silently for a long time, smiled and said, "I think it would be good for Yingying to give them a warning. The Shen family now has a huge fortune, but no man who can support the family. If Yingying can intimidate these villains and make them feel afraid, then Auntie can relax a little and not have to worry every day."
This was exactly what I was planning, so I gave Meng Xu a look of approval.
This is the tacit understanding between childhood sweethearts!
After hearing this, the aunt lowered her head and sighed. Xiaochuan muttered, "I'm already thirteen, so I'm half a man."
Meng Xu said sternly, "You are just a humble scholar now. If you want to enter the court as an official to protect your family, you must at least be a Jinshi."
Xiaochuan said, "I understand. Ever since my father passed away, I have been studying hard day and night in the Imperial College, hoping that one day I can bring my sister out of the palace so that we can be together as a family."
I was deeply touched: "Chuan, my love for you is not in vain."
The aunt said helplessly: "Alright, it's still Jinshi, and there's no sign of Juren yet. But Yingying, you should not be so willful in the palace. You are so brave that you can even do something like fighting with the emperor."
I explained in a low voice, "Aunt, this isn't my fault. It's not like I haven't been humble before, but the dog emperor said he hates my lifeless look the most... He really has a problem. He doesn't like to see a nice smile. He only feels comfortable when I look at him coldly. I can't do anything about it."
This matter was beyond Shen Xiaochuan's comprehension. The half-grown boy scratched his head and said in confusion: "People say that the emperor is kind and lenient, and let the Shen family historian off the hook. So he actually has this hobby?"
Everyone was silent. They had never expected that the current emperor had a subtle masochistic tendency. They hadn't seen it before...
After dinner, when the palace gates were about to be locked, I said goodbye to my aunt and Xiaochuan and got into the carriage alone.
The walls of the carriage were empty except for two lonely windows. I looked out from the small window and saw a gentle sunset rising in the southwest of Chang'an, and the clouds in the sky were dyed orange-red.
Then the sunset gradually dimmed and was finally blocked by the palace wall.
I lowered the car curtain and closed my eyes slightly.
Back in the Purple Palace, I lay on my little bed, counting the days one by one: there were still fourteen years and eight months left, and I was still so far away from freedom.
I picked up a legend and read it to kill the boring night. Xiao Jinlian and Xiao Jinliu were quietly doing needlework beside me, and I told them stories intermittently.
Just when I was talking about Hongfu and Li Jing pretending to be merchants and Mu Ye running out of Chang'an, there was a knock on my door.
Xiao Jinlian put down her needlework, opened the door and saw a young eunuch who timidly said that His Majesty wanted to ask Mr. Shen to come over.
I frowned. "The one on duty tonight is Wei Xizi. What do you want me to do?"
The young eunuch whispered, "Grandpa Qingfu just had an audience with the emperor and will be out soon. Grandpa asked me to summon Chen Qishoulang."
I didn't know what the dog emperor wanted me to do. I hesitated for a moment, tied my hair into a bun, put on my coat, and followed him to the Purple Palace.
Halfway through the walk, I heard a muffled thunder from the sky.
In the evening, the orange-red clouds turned black, weighing heavily on people's heads, and heavy rain was coming.
The lights were on in Li Siyan's study. He sat cross-legged in front of the desk, with Wei Xizi and Qingfu beside him.
Wei Xizi glanced at me stealthily, and two words were clearly written in his eyes: run away.
I felt that something was not right, and a bad premonition arose in my heart.
Li Siyan put down the book and looked up at me.
He was clearly sitting, but his aura was even more powerful than mine even when I was standing. There was no expression on his face, and a hint of cruelty could be seen in his narrow, fox-like eyes.
I am most afraid of seeing the Dog Emperor show this expression. Every time he looks at me like this, I will be in big trouble within an incense stick of time.
He turned his head, looking away, stroking and playing with a red note in his hand, and said nonchalantly, "Did you have a good time out today?"
The red post in his hand looked familiar to me, but from such a distance, I couldn't quite make it out. When he asked me a question, I cautiously said, "I'm glad to be home."
"Oh, who did you meet?" he asked.
I said in a hoarse voice, "The eldest young master of the Meng family, my aunt, and my cousin."
"Oh." Li Siyan responded calmly and remained silent for a long time.
Wei Xizi's head was almost buried in the table, and I could see how much he wanted to leave this place of trouble as soon as possible.
There was ice in the study, and the coolness emanated bit by bit, but I still felt hot, and cold sweat slowly broke out on my forehead. I didn't know what Li Siyan was thinking, I only knew that his thundering rage was approaching me like a storm.
What people fear most is the unknown, and right now I am tormented by this feeling of unease.
What did he discover? I couldn't help but look closely at the thin red paper he was playing with.
Suddenly, my pupils shrank, my whole body felt like it was falling into an icy cave, and my hands began to tremble slightly.
It’s the Geng Tie, it’s my Geng Tie!
I wondered blankly, it should have been with Meng Xu, why is it in the hands of the dog emperor now?
Catching my frightened look, Li Siyan laughed, his laughter as harsh and harsh as a night owl.
He picked up the engagement letter with one hand, as if he were picking up something dirty, and said to me with a grin, "Chen Ying, are you happy to go out of the palace to meet your lover?"
I opened my mouth and subconsciously wanted to make an excuse, but when I saw Qingfu's indifferent old face, I immediately understood.
It was he who told Li Siyan, it must be him.
This old castrated dog!
"I never thought that my Shen Qijulang had a deeply affectionate fiancé. You hid it so well that I never heard you mention it." Li Siyan narrowed his eyes slightly. "Meng Xu, the newly appointed Zhongshu Zhushu of the Meng family, was a new Jinshi last year, and was selected by me personally to join the Zhongshu Province."
I interrupted him and said, "I promised to serve Your Majesty as your attendant for fifteen years, and I will definitely not marry in the middle of that period. Your Majesty can rest assured. Even if I want to marry him in the future, it will be fifteen years later. Your Majesty..."
I was terribly afraid that he would vent his anger on Meng Xu, so I impatiently made random promises, just begging him to let this matter go.
Li Siyan's smile gradually froze on his face.
The disguise of calmness slowly cracked and peeled off, revealing the hideous and terrifying underlying color.
Qingfu wiped his face, grabbed Wei Xizi, who was as motionless as a quail, and quietly left the study.
It was the first time Wei Xizi had seen the emperor lose his temper like this. He was so frightened that he almost lost his soul. He trembled and said, "Grandpa Qingfu, His Majesty is..."
Qingfu said coldly, "There are some things you shouldn't ask about. If you want to live, shut up."
As soon as they left, there were only two of us left in the room.
Li Siyan stood up and approached me step by step. I was so scared that my hands and feet turned cold. His young and handsome face gradually became larger in front of me. I wanted to run, but my legs felt like they were filled with lead and I couldn't move.
His hand rested gently on my neck, feeling cool to the touch.
"You are so nice, Chen Ying. You are making a fool of me. When Meng Xu came to deliver the documents, we were flirting with each other a lot. Do you think the Zichen Palace is the Yue Lao Temple?" Li Siyan said softly.
"You're already in the Purple Palace, yet you're still planning on leaving the palace and getting married. What a pair of star-crossed mandarin ducks, like two swallows flying around painted beams. So you've been longing to spend your life with your lover ever since that day. Indeed, two mere palace walls can't stop lovers. How does that saying go... mountains and seas can be leveled?"
As he spoke, he stroked the veins on my neck.
The movements were incredibly gentle and unnecessarily creepy.
I was almost crying with anxiety, and I argued, "Meng Xu is my childhood sweetheart, the neighbor's brother. I was engaged to him when I was ten years old. That was a long time ago. If Your Majesty doesn't like it, I will leave the palace immediately and break off the engagement with his family. I just ask Your Majesty not to make things difficult for him!"
Li Siyan's hand stopped.
The corners of his lips twitched slightly, and he sneered, "Oh, this is the first time you've begged me, not for glory or wealth, but simply for me to let your dear lover go?"
"He's my brother!" I nearly collapsed. "You can even ask me to kneel down and beg Your Majesty. I... I really didn't know Your Majesty forbade me to have a fiancé. Please, Your Majesty, let him go. I don't want to implicate anyone else!"
Li Siyan touched my neck and muttered sleepwalkingly, "You said you could kneel down and beg me? You wouldn't kneel before my mother, but instead you kneel before me for this wild man?"
I realized I had messed up again. A black hole of resentment began to form in his eyes. In despair, I could only shake my head over and over again: "No... No..."
The anger in his eyes suddenly erupted, and he threw me to the ground, just like he did in front of the Xuanzheng Hall, and shouted angrily, "How dare you deceive me? You teamed up with Meng Xu to deceive me. You pretended not to know each other on the surface, but secretly you were in love with each other. You are really amazing. You expect me to let you two go easily? Dream on! I will kill him and throw his body into a mass grave to feed the stray dogs. You will have to watch your lover's body exposed in the wilderness and become a lonely ghost!"
"Don't kill Brother Meng!" I cried out in grievance. "What have I ever lied to him about? My relationship with him was based on affection and courtesy, and we've never done anything inappropriate. I pretended not to know him in the Purple Palace just to avoid suspicion. How could I be as unbearable as Your Majesty says?"
Qingfu, who was eavesdropping outside, heard this and sighed deeply.
Chen Ying's damned mouth, every word he said pierces your Majesty's heart, like pouring fuel on a raging fire.
Listen, this idiot calls you Brother Meng so affectionately. It would be strange if Your Majesty didn't go crazy after hearing it.
As expected, Li Siyan couldn't bear to hear me defend Meng Xu. He gritted his teeth in hatred and said in a sour tone like a jealous husband, "What a sentimental person who acts with courtesy. I want to see if your oath is strong enough."
I collapsed to the ground, my hair falling down and covering my eyes.
I stared blankly at the ground at his feet and asked, "What do you want to do? Do you want to kill him?"
He squatted down, brushed aside my hair, exposed my eyes, and said softly:
"Kill him? You'll have to remember him for the rest of your life. How boring."
Not killing Meng Xu? I actually laughed foolishly, feeling relieved.
The dog emperor looked at me coldly and said, "From now on, don't even think about leaving the palace. No, without my permission, you are not even allowed to leave the Purple Palace. Just stay here obediently and see who will still remember you besides me in fifteen years."
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