It was almost four o'clock in the morning, everything was quiet, with only the faint sound of rustling wind.
A faint scent of agarwood floats beneath the brocade tent with lotus vine patterns.
Yaoying knelt in front of Tanmaraka, leaned forward, and took back the hand holding the handkerchief.
Tanmarajiva looked at her. The room was dark, but she was very close to her, close enough to see a soft halo of light flowing on her snow-white skin. His eyes fell on her slightly disheveled black hair, and he remained silent for a long time.
Wasn't it Buddha who sent her here?
He remained silent, but his eyes looked a little strange. Yao Ying moved closer and asked with concern, "Is the mage sick? Shall I call Bamil in?"
The voice is gentle and the eyelashes tremble slightly.
Every tremor is like a water lotus swaying gently in the wind beside the Sansheng Pond.
Tanmaraka came back to his senses, and gradually gathered his floating thoughts, and his consciousness slowly returned to clarity.
"No."
He said lightly, his voice hoarse.
Yaoying glanced at his sweat-soaked cassock, then returned her gaze to his face. He was pale, and had looked tired when she just came back, with her brows slightly furrowed. Now she looked even more haggard than before.
“Is the master an ascetic monk?”
she asked.
Tanmaraka looked down at her.
Yao Ying said seriously: "I heard that ascetic monks use asceticism as a means of self-cultivation. They often wander alone, have no fixed place to live, have unkempt hair and dirty faces, wear tattered clothes, fast for a long time, sleep on a bed full of nails, walk barefoot over red-hot coals, and use various tortures to achieve the purpose of self-cultivation."
Tanmaraka stroked the beads with his fingers and said, "That is a form of asceticism in India. The asceticism among monks does not advocate such useless extreme suffering. It only requires giving up greed."
Yao Ying raised her eyebrows, met Tanmaraj's gaze, and looked at him straight.
"Then why didn't the wizard, who was feeling unwell, seek medical attention or take medicine, but instead planned to just endure it?"
"Master, are you really not an ascetic monk?"
She asked in a questioning tone, but with a playful smile on her face.
Tanmaraka looked away.
Yao Ying followed his movements, staring at him with her bright eyes, and looked at him, "If the master is not an ascetic, why do you have to endure these useless sufferings?"
Tanmaraka lowered his eyes and said, "These sufferings are not in vain."
The martial arts he practiced were bizarre, and receiving punishment was also a reminder for himself so as not to lose his respect for life.
Yao Ying pondered for a while, and seeing his solemn face, she knew that it was useless to persuade him, so she sighed secretly and said, "I dare not argue with the master, but the monk's robes are wet with sweat, so you have to change clothes."
No matter what, he had to take off his sweaty robes.
After she finished speaking, without waiting for him to say anything, she stood up, walked to the door and opened it.
"Send in a bucket of hot water and some clean monk's robes. The monk needs to change."
Bamir's eyes widened: Why did he suddenly need hot water and change clothes in the middle of the night? Why did the king need to change clothes in the middle of the night?
He glanced at Yaoying quickly and saw that although her hair was hairy, as if she had just woken up from sleep, her face was calm and her clothes were neatly arranged. In his heart, he cursed himself for overthinking. His eyes gradually moved downwards and saw her bare feet on the carpet. His eyes widened again.
He turned around and ran away as if he was stung. After a while, he returned to the meditation room with a bucket of hot water in one hand, along with Tanmaragha's monk's robe.
The meditation room was dark. He put his things down and looked around quietly. Not seeing Yaoying, he let out a sigh of relief and left respectfully.
Yaoying had already retreated into the inner room, sat in front of the low couch, and listened carefully.
From outside came the sound of water flowing, followed by a slight rustling sound. She felt relieved, breathed a sigh of relief, and lay down to continue sleeping.
Just as he touched the pillow, there was a loud bang outside the tent, and water splashed, as if something heavy had fallen to the ground.
He is so weak and has no one to take care of him. Could he have fainted?
Yaoying quickly got up, brushed aside the brocade curtain, took in the scene in the meditation room, and was stunned for a moment.
In the dim light, a thin figure stood with his back to her, slowly taking off his robes, revealing his broad shoulders.
Tanmarajiva was a tall man, and usually wore a loose cassock, looking gaunt and thin. But when he took off the cassock, Yao Yingcai discovered that his muscles were even and tight, with clear and distinct lines. Beads of sweat were dripping down his body, and his taut back looked like it was covered with oil, flashing a honey-colored light in the dim light.
But what shocked Yaoying even more was that Tanmaragha's back was red and swollen, covered with crisscrossing scars.
It turned out that he was not sick, he was sweating because he had just been beaten with a stick.
Yao Ying stood under the brocade tent, staring blankly at Tanmarajiva's slender and strong shoulders and back, and was lost in thought for a while.
Tanmarajiva seemed to be aware of something and paused. He turned his back to her and slightly turned his head. His profile was clear, his brows were high, and he looked cold and cool. The half-taken cassock hung around his waist and arms, and was hazy with water vapor, giving him a feeling of being shrouded in clouds and mist, like a naked Bodhisattva on a mural, with a slender and elegant posture, solemn and serene, with a hint of thriving power condensed within.
Yaoying stared at him in a daze.
He stopped there.
The cry of an eagle broke the silence. The eagle flapped its wings, bringing up a breeze and causing the brocade tent to sway slightly.
Tanmarajiva pulled up his slipping cassock and glanced at the brocade tent with the corner of his eyes casually, as if intentionally, yet carelessly.
Yaoying couldn't help feeling guilty, her heart beating rapidly. She quickly put down the brocade tent, lay back on the couch, pulled up the quilt and covered herself tightly from head to toe, and didn't move.
Behind the brocade tent, Tanmaragha lifted the curtain, glanced at the slightly swaying tent, bent over to pick up the candlestick that had just been accidentally knocked over, and placed it on the table beside him.
After changing into a clean monk's robe, I felt much more relaxed.
He continued to meditate, and this time he did not fall into a dream.
…
The next day, Yao Ying slept until noon when she was awakened by a sudden burst of loud talking.
There were many figures outside the meditation room, and some were arguing in low voices.
She got up, packed her things quietly, went out of the inner room, and opened a small slit to look outside.
It was already daybreak, and the main hall outside was brightly lit. Tanmaraka, wearing a gray monk's robe, sat cross-legged at a long table, reading memorials. Bishuo was kneeling at the door, wearing a light armor, with a helmet under his arm, and an anxious expression on his face.
"Your Majesty, I will definitely keep a close eye on Princess Chima and prevent her from causing trouble again. Do you really want to send her away?"
Tanmarajiva did not raise his head and said, "Zhang Xu is a military prisoner. She intended to harm Zhang Xu. According to the law, she should be confined. You can take her back to the city in three months."
The tone left no room for doubt.
Bisa hesitated for a moment, not daring to say anything more, with a look of reluctance on her face.
Tanmaraka said nothing.
Bi Suo sighed.
The atmosphere was tense.
Yaoying waited in the side passage for a while, and when she saw Bisu get up and leave, she walked out of the passage holding the package.
"I bothered the mage last night. Is the mage feeling better now?"
Tanmarajiva lowered his head, raised his wrist to pick up the pen, hummed, and waved his monk's sleeves.
Yuanjue stepped forward and signaled Yaoying to follow him with his eyes. He wanted to take her back to the yard.
Yaoying said goodbye and walked out. After taking a few steps, she saw Bisuo's leaving figure in the distance. After thinking for a moment, she turned around abruptly.
Yuan Jue was startled: "Princess?"
Yao Ying turned around, walked through the corridor, and stepped into the meditation room under the surprised gazes of everyone.
"Princess!"
Bamir and Yuanjue were so anxious that they were sweating all over. They called her softly, chased into the meditation room, and signaled her to follow them and leave.
Yao Ying shook her head, looked at Tanmarajiva who was writing with her head down, and said softly, "I have a few words to say to the master."
Bamil and the other man looked at each other, not knowing whether they should urge her to leave.
Tanmarajiva raised his head and glanced at the two of them with his blue eyes.
The two men understood and stopped holding Yao Ying back and immediately retreated.
Tanmaraka kept writing, "Princess, what do you want to say to me?"
Yao Ying walked to the long table, leaned forward and sat down, pondered for a while, and said: "Master, in addition to my brothers, I have several brothers. One of them is my half-brother. His name is Li Xuanzhen."
"Li Xuanzhen has always wanted to kill my mother and brother."
The pen in Tanmarajavaji's hand paused.
Yao Ying gazed at the white snow in front of the courtyard and slowly told the story of the complicated relationship between Li De, Tang and Xie Manyan.
"... Later, Li Xuanzhen's biological mother died of ashes and asked him to avenge her. Li Xuanzhen swore that when he came to power, he would kill my mother and my brother to avenge his mother."
She sighed.
"That year, I was recuperating in Chibi and met Li Xuanzhen, who was also hiding his identity. We didn't know each other's identities and became friends."
"A few months later, we took a boat back to Chibi together. Li Xuanzhen discovered that I was the daughter of his enemy... He wanted to kill me on the spot."
Yao Ying smiled.
"At that time, I thought Li Xuanzhen was just impulsive. He was not a wicked person. After all, I am his sister with the same father. When he calms down, maybe he can think clearly."
Yaoying recalled the past and the smile on her face slowly faded.
"I tried to get along with him. I thought to myself, a man like my elder brother, who was tolerant of his subordinates, helped strangers, and rescued noble ladies in distress time and time again, would definitely not be angry with the innocent."
She tried every means to resolve Li Xuanzhen's resentment, but the result was contrary to her wishes.
Li Xuanzhen would not let Xie Manyun and Li Zhongqian go, nor would he let her go.
"That year... his aide Wei Ming almost killed my brother. At that time, I had not given up trying to persuade him. I wrote him a letter, begging him to let my brother go. I promised him that my brother had no intention of fighting for power and that we would stay far away and never appear in front of him for the rest of our lives."
Yao Ying looked slightly cold.
"The next day, he shot my puppy right in front of me."
That was the hunting dog that Li Zhongqian gave her.
In the past, she was in poor health and could not go hunting with the Li family. After returning to Wei County from Chibi, her health improved a lot. That day, she happily took her hunting dog to the forest to join in the fun, and then watched helplessly as Li Xuanzhen fired three arrows in a row. The hunting dog, which was still full of energy a moment ago, fell down in the bushes and kept twitching.
Yaoying climbed down from the horse and tried to drag the puppy to hide. The puppy stared at her with wet eyes, dying.
Li Xuanzhen walked up to her, with a short knife on his waist, long boots on his feet, and a longbow in his hand, with an arrow on the string, the tip of the arrow still pointing at the puppy on the ground. His expression was cold and he smelled of blood.
"Li Xuanzhen..." Yao Ying trembled all over, raised her head, and called him by his name, "It's just a puppy... It has been with me for several months... This is the first time I took it out... Please let it go..."
Li Xuanzhen looked down at her, said nothing, and drew his longbow.
Yao Ying breathed a sigh of relief.
The next moment, Li Xuanzhen drew out the short knife from his waist, and with a swipe of the knife, the puppy twitched violently for a few times and died.
He looked at Yao Ying coldly, his eyes slanted and his gaze gloomy: "The dog that hurt people cannot be kept."
Yao Ying's hands were shaking.
Li Xuanzhen drew out his short knife and wiped it on his sleeve. "The dog cannot be kept, and the human too."
He will not let Xie Manyan and Li Zhongqian go.
Yaoying's heart sank, completely.
The puppy has never hurt anyone. The puppy that Li Zhongqian gave her was docile and loyal. How could it possibly hurt anyone?
It was obvious that Zhu Luyun suddenly rode her horse up the mountain path, causing her and the maid's mounts to be startled and almost fall off their horses. That's why the puppy came forward and barked to stop Zhu Luyun.
Just because the puppy was hers, Li Xuanzhen was so cruel and killed it without any reason.
It is so innocent.
Yao Ying looked at the dead puppy, wiped her eyes, picked up the arrow on the ground with trembling hands, staggered, and rushed towards Li Xuanzhen, stabbing him fiercely with the arrow in her hand.
Li Xuanzhen stretched out his long arms and easily grasped her wrist, exerting a little force.
Yaoying's hands were numb and weak, so he lifted her up.
Li Xuanzhen looked down at her and contemptuously pulled the arrow out of her hand.
"Seventh sister, don't overestimate your abilities."
Yao Ying shook his hand off, looked at him coldly, and said word by word: "Li Xuanzhen, my brother has never harmed your mother, nor you. He led troops to fight like you, fulfilling his duties and being loyal. If you dare to hurt him, I will die with you! You are a general, and I am powerless. I am not your opponent today, and I may not be your opponent in the future. But as long as I am alive, don't think of harming my brother."
So what if he is destiny? At worst, they will die together.
Li Xuanzhen's face was as gloomy as water.
…
There was a faint fragrance floating in the meditation room.
A gaze fell on Yao Ying, clear and cold, not gentle, but with a power that could soothe people's hearts.
Yao Ying came to her senses and found that Tanmarajiva had stopped writing at some point, raised his eyelids, and was looking at her with a slightly furrowed brow.
She smiled at him.
Telling him these mundane things seems to embarrass him.
Yao Ying let out a long breath, "Since then, I have never raised a puppy again. I buried it with my own hands, and also buried my expectations for my elder brother..."
She paused.
"Later, the Chinyelu tribe and I... the Night Light Wall was gone... the Crow Horse my brother gave me was also gone..."
Thinking of the gentle eyes that looked at her before Wusun Ma died, Yaoying's nose suddenly felt sore, her eyes became hot, and she almost cried.
The felt curtains were hung high, and a cold wind carrying snow blew into the meditation room, hitting the scriptures on the long table and causing the bronze bells under the eaves to tinkle.
This is the royal court, not the vast desert and snowfield.
Yaoying closed her eyes, controlled her emotions, raised her eyes and looked towards Tanmarajiva.
"Master, all the injustices my brother and I have suffered over the years are ultimately due to the anger of my father and my eldest brother. My father lost his first wife, and my eldest brother lost his mother. They were angry with the three of us, mother and son, and wanted us to be buried with her."
Yao Ying's mouth twitched.
"In the Wei Dynasty, my elder brother was the crown prince that everyone had high hopes for. He was respected by his subordinates and had a good relationship with the court officials... My father was the emperor. In the eyes of others, they treated my brother and me like this out of a little selfishness, and there was nothing wrong with that."
In the eyes of court officials, it was perfectly normal for Li Xuanzhen to avenge his mother and kill Concubine Xie and Li Zhongqian after he came to power. They did not think that this was a disgrace to Li Xuanzhen's integrity.
More than one person has lamented with Yao Ying: The Xie family has never made things difficult for the Tang family. Li Xuanzhen was indeed venting his anger. The three of you, mother and son, have no way out and can only endure it.
The strong prey on the weak, the strong are respected, and whoever is in a weak position deserves to be bullied.
This has been the case throughout history.
Similarly, after Tanmarajiva regained the throne, Princess Chima avenged her people but was not satisfied and continued to treat members of other branches of the Zhang family mercilessly. In the eyes of others, this was understandable.
In fact, many people think that such revenge is satisfying: the Zhang family almost killed the entire Tanmo family, and Princess Chima should retaliate in their own way and massacre all the Zhang families.
Therefore, Princess Chima developed resentment towards Tanmaragha.
He stopped Princess Chima from taking revenge on the innocent Zhang family and rescued the implicated Han people from her knife. She believed that he had betrayed the Tanmo family.
Doesn’t Princess Chima understand Tanmaragha’s intention?
Doesn't she know what promoting Zhang Xu means for supporting the new nobles?
Princess Chima understands.
But this was not enough to offset her hatred.
Just like Li Xuanzhen, he was clearly a man who could distinguish the importance of interests. He could forgive his rebellious subordinates time and time again, and he could make peace with his mortal enemies. However, he was unwilling to let go of the innocent Xie family, just because he had sworn to his mother that the Xie family would be buried with her.
Li Xuanzhen and Princess Chima were both twisted by hatred and could not change.
A brave man, in anger, draws his sword against the stronger; a coward, in anger, draws his sword against the weaker.
They all have bitter pasts, but that is no reason for them to vent their hatred on innocent people.
Yao Ying looked into Tanmarajiva's deep blue eyes and said with emotion: "Master, the descendants of the Zhang family and I are in a similar situation."
Tanmarajava's eyebrows moved slightly.
Yao Yingshu breathed a sigh of relief, wrinkled her nose, a smile appeared between her brows, and her expression became a little brighter.
"So, when I first came to the royal court, I heard about the Master, Princess Chima, and the Zhang family, and I had great respect for the Master."
At that moment, she felt as if she had walked a very long road at night and when she felt hopeless and helpless, she suddenly saw a flash of light.
The relationship between Tanmarajiva and Princess Chima was tense. As a smart man, he must have known how to ease the conflict with his sister: allowing Princess Chima to kill all the Han people with the surname Zhang and allowing Princess Chima to enjoy killing Han slaves.
He was unwilling to do so.
He told Princess Chima that she had already taken revenge and that she should not wantonly humiliate innocent people, even if Princess Chima hated him because of it.
Yao Ying straightened her back, sat upright and solemnly, and said: "Master, you have no external thoughts and lofty ambitions. These little things are nothing but passing clouds to you... But I still want to tell you one thing."
Tanmaraka looked at her and asked, "Tell me what?"
Yao Ying raised her hand to stroke her hair, met his gaze, and said solemnly: "I want to tell the Master that the Master's kindness is not meaningless. For the descendants of the Zhang family and for people like me, the Master's kindness affects our lives. If the person I met was the Master, I would not have suffered so much."
Tanmaraka is strong-willed and has his own ideas in mind. He does not care about the opinions of others. Chima's resentment and his subordinates' misunderstanding do not affect his mood at all.
He was so rational and clear-headed that he didn't need anyone's advice or comfort.
But Yaoying still wanted to tell him what was in her heart, and wanted him to know how rare he was.
She looked at him, her brows curved, her eyes full of sincerity.
Tanmarajiva's hand holding the pen trembled slightly.
There were footsteps at the door, and a monk soldier came to report something. He saw Yaoying kneeling in front of the long desk and hesitated, not daring to come in.
"I won't bother the wizard anymore."
Yao Ying quickly stood up, made an apology gesture to Tanmarajiva, and turned away.
Tanmarakawensi remained motionless, staring at her back as she walked away.
A word I had read in Chinese literature suddenly came to my mind.
My path is not alone.
A man was walking alone on the path of cultivation, with no one to rely on or to stand by. He looked around, but saw nothing but a vast expanse. He didn't know how long he had been walking. Suddenly, someone came up to him, looked at him happily, and his long eyelashes fluttered.
The two places are thousands of miles apart, with different writing systems and customs. She is not a monk, but she can tell what he is thinking and see what he is thinking.
Perhaps, this is what Buddha arranged.