Chapter 25 Tide Proverbs (VII) Yesterday and Today.
The sixth day of entering the dream.
"The gray sky of November"
“Ere the gray skies of November”
"Before extinguishing the flames of my youthful yearning,"
"Quench'd my youth's aspiring ember,"
"I have experienced what is called happiness."
"Liv'd there such a thing as bliss"
…
But the flow of time never ceases.
"But the stream of Time, swift flowing"
"Brings the torment of half-understanding"
“Brings the torment of half-knowing”
"Moving forward in a daze, flowing aimlessly."
“Dimly rushing, blindly going”
"Crossing through the desolate wilderness"
"Past the never-trodden lea"
…
Everyone held their new poetry collections, each word accompanied by a dry, wispy breath as they exhaled into the air. A chill rose from their feet; today's rain was torrential yet fine, falling vertically, probably because of the lack of wind, weaving a veil of mist between heaven and earth.
A thick fog rolled in over the sea, obscuring everything outside. It was as if the world consisted only of this classroom, and even the previously boundless boundaries had vanished.
Xia Zhu mechanically recited the poem, the more she tried to understand it, the more empty she felt inside, like a hazy fog. If she deliberately resisted this feeling, her temples and the area around her eyes would ache terribly.
She turned her head to one side. Feng Feng sat by the window in poor lighting. Her outline was so faint that it was almost hidden in the rain and mist. Her hands seemed to be trembling, her eyes were unfocused, and the poems she was reciting looked more like nervous mutterings to herself.
After literature class comes math class.
Her face seemed to be getting blurry, and sometimes when Xia Zhu caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye, he would think she was just a classmate from another class.
"hiss--"
My eye socket is starting to hurt again, and my nerves are throbbing. I don't know what's wrong with it.
He recited the poem while shifting his gaze to the podium.
The teacher looked a little different today. He was wearing a woolen beanie that made him look bulging, and his legs, which usually clung tightly to his bones, were now wearing very loose trousers. As he walked, the trouser legs bunched up, the hems dragging on the floor like a long skirt. I wondered what was going to happen today, because the man seemed excited and agitated. He wasn't even wandering between the desks anymore; he just stood there, staring absentmindedly out the window and laughing, as if waiting for a grand festival where the host would announce that he would become a dazzling figure.
She had a vague, bad feeling that a certain festival or celebration was really about to happen.
"We'll be able to leave the dream soon. I'll go outside the school tonight."
However, Xia Zhu still firmly told the two of them this during the meal.
"It's too dangerous for you to act alone. Feng Mian and I will accompany you." Although Feng Feng wasn't in good condition, she always felt a strange sense of responsibility when faced with this kind of situation, as if protecting everyone was her innate duty.
So after saying that, she immediately realized that the problem she was facing was not positive, and she fell into self-blame and anxiety again.
Xia Zhu held her hand. "I have the ability to heal myself and can bring birds and flowers back to life. Maybe I'm even immortal. If I encounter danger, I can give it a try."
She felt that she was different. In the few days she dreamed, she spoke more than in the previous few years, and some of her behaviors could even be described as assertive.
I wonder if it's the power of the spirit that's at play.
After being rejected by Xia Zhu, Feng Feng's confidence seemed to drop even further. She suddenly threw down the spoon in her hand and turned to Feng Mian.
"This is our first time entering a red-level dream, and this dream is so strange... Are we all really going to die here?" She had barely finished speaking when her eyes suddenly lit up again. She grabbed Feng Mian's wrist and reassured him firmly, "No, Feng Mian, no, I'm here. We'll definitely get out!"
After saying that, he lowered his head and stirred the paste-like food on his plate.
After a perfunctory dinner, Xia Zhu went back to her room to put on her raincoat. As she passed by the window, she saw a student retrieving floating debris from the pond in the courtyard.
The person whose face was obscured moved quite quickly, completing the task and going upstairs in no time. As darkness fell, according to the time system of this world, it was time for everyone to go to bed.
The rainy weather made visibility poor, providing excellent cover, so Xia Zhu decided to go out.
The door opened, and Feng Mian appeared in the doorway.
Actually, she wasn't surprised. During the meal, Feng Mian hesitated to speak, probably worried that she would act alone, but Xia Zhu's attitude was very firm.
"Are you sure you don't need me to come with you?"
“Under other circumstances, having more people might be better, but right now Xiaofeng needs you more. Who knows what might happen tonight, so you two should stay together. I’ll be back soon, just to confirm something.”
Feng Mian nodded and said no more. He turned around and knocked on his sister's door. Xia Zhu was right. It was best to stay together tonight. His eyelids kept twitching.
Her vision was like a game screen, with images loading slowly as she moved forward. She walked to the low wall near the gate and first made sure the gate was locked, so she wouldn't have to go through the trouble of climbing over the wall only to find out that she could actually walk directly through the gate.
The padlock, the size of a fist, was firmly secured by an iron chain; one still had to climb over the wall.
Xia Zhu took a few steps back, then used her strength to push off the rough earthen wall, and easily flipped over to the outside of the school with her hands on the top of the wall.
The embankment was close to the sea, and the fog was even thicker there. Walking on the embankment, one might easily slip and fall into the sea. Xia Zhu had no choice but to walk close to the edge of the cliff until he found a relatively gentle spot with a foothold, and decided to start climbing from there.
Fortunately, there was no wind today, but the stone surface was quite slippery, so I had to be careful every time I touched it.
The cliff wasn't too high, and she climbed it without much effort. When Xia Zhu was little, she loved climbing trees, the higher the better. When she reached the top of the treetop, the sky seemed wider and the land seemed more expansive. Her tall grandfather looked tiny as he stood under the tree and waved to her.
The higher you stand, the more insignificant your worries become. You realize there are so many corners of this world to explore, and you shouldn't be busy being sad or troubled.
That was many, many years ago. The tallest tree on the plain is always green in spring, but Grandpa has become a small mound of earth forever. The world is still big. For a while, Xia Zhu was unsure whether she should continue to explore. After all, no matter where she went, no one would be waiting for her when she came back. The meaning of adventure had become like a tumbleweed in the desert, or rather, wandering.
But now, standing on a precipice higher than the boundless sea, she is convinced that she must do something, not only now, but in every moment of the future.
The tumbleweed seemed to choose to take root near an oasis, telling itself that the soil was moist, the scenery beautiful, and it was suitable for survival. In reality, it was just because it saw another grass stop not far away.
The view from the top of the cliff was not wide; all around was a vast expanse of white. She walked forward cautiously, following the spot where the shadow had flashed by in her memory, until she reached the end of the cliff. The brim of her raincoat partially obscured her eyes, so she held on to it slightly. Underfoot were pebbles and small puddles, but there was no shadow that had flashed by that day.
The stones were dark, weathered, and piled haphazardly together; if something had fallen there, it would be difficult to spot. A layer of mist rose on Xia Zhu's mirror-like surface. She wiped away one side with her finger, and a glittering object was discovered nestled among the rubble.
She quickly squatted down, brushed aside the stones, wiped the fog from the other side of her eyes, and picked up the object.
She had imagined a million possible outcomes, but she never expected this.
A black, iridescent feather, like a piece of thinned black gold that had been accidentally dropped.
In this dream world where all living things have a reason for being created, a familiar-looking feather appears in a crevice at the top of a cliff.
She tucked the feather into the inside pocket of her thin shirt, returned the way she came down the cliff, and entered the campus in the same way. This trip went unexpectedly smoothly.
But before I had walked more than a few steps, I found that the courtyard was full of people. It seemed that all the students had come out and were gathered together, doing something I didn't know.
Xia Zhu's heart leaped into her throat. She rushed into the crowd, pushed aside the students blocking her way, and searched for two familiar figures.
Fortunately, through a few people, they could see the brother and sister holding hands across from them. Feng Feng's raincoat did not completely cover her face, and raindrops dripped down her forehead and onto her cheeks.
Maybe I should prepare some cold medicine next time, but luckily I'm still quite capable.
Then she noticed that on a patch of ground that the group had surrounded, there was something that could hardly be called a living thing.
The thing was barely recognizable as having a human form, but only a head peeking out from the pile of rotting flesh, and a collapsed chest cavity. The back of the head, where hair should have been, was covered with dense, pustules, each one crystal clear, its skin stretched to a thin membrane, seemingly about to burst open at any moment, splattering fluid everywhere, just like its chest cavity.
Its original body should have been thin, but it was swollen to an enormous size by being filled with human heads. Eventually, it broke open under the weight, spilling out intestines and dozens of human heads, which were then mercilessly washed away by the rain.
Those heads, though submerged in gastric juices, showed no signs of decay; they all remained remarkably fresh. Some were men, some women, some young, some middle-aged. Some even had rosy cheeks, seemingly still full of life and vitality. The head pinned down by several swollen male heads was even wearing glasses.
The creature's lower body was no longer human-like. Its legs were like bonesless, limp and sprawled on the ground like two dead sandworms. Its skin was covered with sucker-like things of different sizes, and even the tips of its ten curled fingers had fleshy, bouncy-looking suckers.
Looking at its face perched on its thin neck, its clothes, and the woolen beanie on the ground beside it, Xia Zhu finally understood why today's off-campus adventure had gone so smoothly.
The mushy creature on the ground is their teacher.
Xia Zhu met the two men's gaze through the torrential rain. Just as she was about to step forward, the pile of things suddenly began to twitch and tremble. An uneasy buzzing sound came from the pile of flesh, as if it were a low-frequency hum from the earth's core. Then all the heads opened their eyes and mouths at the same time, all facing the same direction, towards the pool, and chanted the same words in perfect unison.
"Yesterday!"
"today!"
"Yesterday!"
"today!"
"The Old Gods!"
"A gift!"
...
The voices of men and women overlapped, like a small choir, and the rain seemed to be a barrier in the karaoke room, amplifying the singing tenfold with trembling echoes to the ears of everyone present. A single syllable could shake one's internal organs and stir one's brain, as if the sound was coming from one's own body, from every cell. That feeling was terrifying, ever-present, and inescapable.
Xia Zhu felt a wave of dizziness, her legs went weak, and she struggled to raise her hands to cover her ears. Through her rain-blurred vision, she saw Feng Mian clinging tightly to Feng Feng, his hands covering her ears, but he could only endure this indescribable force. He felt his body becoming sticky, as if it were about to melt, and his nostrils were filled with a foul, fishy smell. Something was flowing out from it—perhaps blood, perhaps cerebrospinal fluid—but he was no longer able to think.
The chanting grew louder and louder, and the pool behind him overflowed with green, pus-like water, which was about to climb up Fengmian's feet.
They were babbling incoherently, I couldn't understand what they were saying.
"Old God, a gift, is it?" Xia Zhu gritted her teeth, propped herself up on the ground, and stood up. Without any cover, the chanting was like a sharp sword piercing her ear canal and striking her brain. A warm liquid also flowed from her nasal cavity.
She now finally understands what this obsession with the dream really is.
It's best if gods only exist in works of art.
She struggled toward the pile of things, kicked the mass of heads apart, and all the chanting vanished instantly, replaced by the sound of rain.
-----------------------
Author's Note: This short poem is from H.P. Lovecraft's "Despair".
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