Chapter 707 You are a little less smart than me.
The amount of words Feng Ci said when he took Meiguo out was more than what he had said in his three years at school combined.
The child was simply the embodiment of a hundred thousand whys. From things flying in the sky to running on the ground to food in the bowl, he was asked about everything.
Feng Ci spoke until his mouth was dry and he felt infinite regret for his momentary kindness towards him.
He is so bored.
After returning home, Feng Ci drank a lot of water. Meiguo lay on the floor-to-ceiling window with her butt sticking out, her little hands resting on the window, and she was still eager to explore the outside world.
The sun sets early in winter. It gets dark just after five o'clock and the sky is foggy.
Feng Ci lay on the sofa with his eyes closed. The room was quiet, without a sound. He closed his eyes for a while and opened them again. It was already completely dark.
Feng Ci rubbed his forehead and sat up. He glanced at the floor-to-ceiling window and found that Meiguo was still lying there in the same position.
Is this fixed?
"Hello."
The villain didn't move.
He asked, "What would you like to eat tonight?"
The trapped little man turned around happily, raised his hands high and said, "I can cook soup. I'll make it for you."
"You haven't moved for a long time. I thought you fell asleep there." Feng Ci yawned. "You want to cook for me?"
Berry nodded in response.
Feng Ci showed strong distrust towards the three-headed kid who volunteered to cook.
"No, I'm afraid you'll burn the kitchen down." He clicked on the yellow square app, "Let's just order takeout."
Berry ran over and said, "I'm a good cook. I'm a top-notch cook."
I've seen Wang Po selling melons, but I've never seen such a small Wang Po selling melons. Feng Ci bent his knuckles and flicked Berry's forehead:
"Minors are prohibited from playing with fire."
Then he stood up and said, "Don't you want to learn the magic to make clothes clean? Come with me."
The washing machine and dryer on the balcony are integrated. Feng Ci pointed at it and roughly explained the usage and process.
Berry stared up at the big black box in front of her, which was two heads taller than her. Her underdeveloped little head was completely unable to understand how it worked.
Is this the big guy that helps her wash, dry and spray perfume on her clothes?
The child stood on tiptoe and stretched his neck to see if there were any magic elves living inside.
Feng Ci picked up Meiguo and asked her to look carefully. She quickly opened the door of the washing machine with her little hand and stuck her round head in to search around.
It was too late for Feng Ci to stop it.
Knock knock. "Excuse me, is anyone there?"
Knock knock. "Hello, is anyone there?"
Seal:?
Just as he was about to pull her head out, he heard her leaning back in while mumbling to herself.
"oh."
"No one."
“…”
These three words made Feng Ci laugh: "You really have some ideas."
Berry pulled her head back and put on a reserved smile: "Thank you, you're not bad either, just a little less smart than me."
He is not a big man, but he speaks with such a big mouth.
Feng Ci put the arrogant villain down and said, "This is modern magic. How is it? Is it awesome?"
Berry raised his hood and looked around: "Where is the cow? Do you have a cow? Why can't I see it?"
"..." Feng Ci sighed lightly and smiled, "This cow is no longer a cow. It's right that you can't see it."
What are you talking about? Berry scratched his head in confusion.
"Have you learned modern magic? Wash your clothes yourself every day from now on. I won't help you anymore."
The child in Feng Ci's field of vision hesitated, first making a "yeah" gesture, then immediately changing the subject: "Please teach me two more times... five, five more times."
Meiguo doesn’t recognize the Chinese characters above. His hands can understand but his brain cannot.
Although Feng Ci found it troublesome, compared to being a babysitter, he could still tolerate the temporary trouble. He really patiently taught her five times until he was sure that Meiguo had successfully learned the skill. He felt an indescribable sense of accomplishment in his heart.
Feng Ci decided to strike while the iron was hot and teach Meiguo how to use other modern appliances in the home, such as robot vacuums, dishwashers, lifting clothes racks, etc.
——These are all basic skills that a Filipino maid must have.
*
Feng Ci doesn't know how to cook. The kitchen tools are complete but there is no sign of cooking. As expected, dinner will be taken out again.
Feng Ci didn't feel anything wrong about this. It was good enough that he could provide meals. As for whether the takeout was healthy or whether it was good for the children, he didn't care.
He ate like this and he was full of energy and vitality. What's more, Meiguo was enjoying her spicy hot pot and didn't need him to worry about her.
He just thought about it for a moment, but unexpectedly, the good thing didn't work and the bad thing came true. The child who was smiling just now curled up like a shrimp on the carpet the next second, humming like a kitten.
Feng Ci stopped packing the takeaway food and asked, "What's wrong?"
Berry covered her stomach and groaned softly, "I, my stomach hurts."
"You have a stomachache?" Feng Ci's expression changed. "Do you want to go to the bathroom?"
Meiguo bit her lip and stammered shyly, "I can't hold it in any longer."
"Hurry, hurry, go to the bathroom!"
Feng Ci was afraid that the child would have a sudden ordeal, so he quickly carried him into the toilet, opened the toilet lid and said:
"Just sit here and flush. The flush button is right next to it. It's easy to operate and you'll learn it in no time."
Meiguo looked at the spotless, snow-white ceramic toilet and thought it was so clean that she hesitated and didn't dare to sit on it.
"What are you standing there for? Why don't you come up?"
"I didn't bring any toilet paper..."
"What do you want the straw paper for? Folding it for fun?"
Meiguo looked at him in shock: "Wipe your butt! Don't you wipe your butt after using it?"
Feng Ci's face darkened: "We don't use toilet paper to wipe our butts here."
That thing pricks my butt.
"Then what do you use?" Berry stared at him with clear round eyes and said imaginatively, "I know, you use hemp rope to wipe your butt."
She looked sympathetic and said, "It must be painful to have your butt on fire."
Feng Ci put the nagging child on the toilet without thinking twice and pulled a stack of tissues from the drawer: "Wipe with this, then flush it down the toilet. If you keep talking nonsense, you can just purge your trouser pockets."
After saying that, he closed the door, leaving Berry full of questions.
She looked down at the buttons in a trance. Who did Brother Feng just say was the one who flushed the toilet?
Feng Ci, who was guarding the toilet door, heard the melodious singing of the smart toilet and the screams of a child from time to time, and he knew what a chaotic scene was going on inside.
Feng Ci shouted instructions through the door. Ten minutes later, the door opened from the inside. Berry was soaking wet and looked terrified.
"The toilet attacked my butt!"
"My skirt is all wet." She asked Feng Ci, "Has it always been like this?"
Feng Ci: "Tsk."
"You don't know how to use it." What could possibly go wrong with his imported smart toilet, which cost tens of thousands of dollars? "Change your clothes first."
He wasn't worried about Berry catching a cold. The toilet had a constant temperature system and only sprayed out warm water. He simply thought she was dirty.
After the unfortunate child, who was soaked to the skin, changed her clothes and came out, Feng Ci called her back to the toilet like calling a dog, ready to teach her a lesson.
"The one with the water drop logo is the flush button."
"Next to it is the hip wash button. Slide it left or right to adjust the water flow."
"Swallow what?"
"...I don't mean swallowing it, I mean this is for washing your butt."
Berry wrinkled his nose, and the eldest one was unhappy: "It's not good, it washed its butt without permission."
"That's because you didn't know how to press it and accidentally pressed it." Feng Ci spoke up for the toilet righteously, "If you don't believe me, look, it's fine now, isn't it? I'll show you how to do it now—"
Phew!
A meter-high column of water suddenly spurted out of the toilet in a straight line. Feng Ci felt his face getting hot and his eyes blurred. He opened his mouth to say something about the quintessence of Chinese culture, but turned around and was choked to death by the water.
The uncontrolled water flow poured over him from head to toe. Feng Ci ignored his anger and wiped the water off his face with one hand while fumbling to turn off the power with the other.
On the other side, Berry had already run away, pointing at the chaotic scene and shouting:
"Oh, it's crazy again. It really is crazy."
Feng Ci: ...so angry.
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