Chapter 23 The Eastern Expedition Against Lü Bu (Part 7) Why don't you all just change into women's clothing...
On this day, Guo Jia and Deng Jie obtained the counterfeit bronze plaque and, as planned, went to the Qin residence to wait.
Because Guo Jia was always by his side, Deng Jie did not dare to tell Du about Guan Yu.
It wasn't until after 3 PM that the gatekeeper shouted, "Lord Wen has arrived!" The three hurriedly took their places.
But then a man of unusually tall stature, wearing a worn-out dark blue robe with his belt not even properly fastened, strode in.
His physique was as thick as a wall, and even a cloth robe couldn't hide the bulging muscles underneath.
As he got closer, Deng Jie could see that he had thick, sharp eyebrows that framed a pair of fierce eyes. At first glance, he looked heroic and domineering, but the dark circles under his eyes made his skin look somewhat loose.
The moment Deng Jie's eyes met Lü Bu's, his heart leaped into his throat, and he lowered his head.
"Madam Du, why has a new lady come to our residence today?"
He ignored Guo Jia near the door and stepped through the door, staring at Deng Jie's face.
"Mr. Chen's junior sister is skilled in both cooking and medicine. It would be more convenient for me to keep her than to keep Mr. Chen." Madam Du said calmly, half-closing her eyes as she peeked at Lü Bu taking his seat, her eyes never leaving Deng Jie.
"Oh my, with such skill, why don't you stay and serve me alongside Madam Du?"
Upon hearing this, Guo Jia felt a surge of anger rush to his head.
Several thoughts flashed through his mind about how to kill Lü Bu on the spot:
A dagger hidden at his waist? No, given the size difference between him and me, that would be suicide.
Is there any poison in the first-aid kit? Quickly, find something that can be prepared to kill him immediately...
He lowered his head and focused intently on picking out the herbs, his body trembling slightly from anger and helplessness.
Deng Jie was so frightened that her face turned slightly pale, and her hands, which were massaging Madam Du, became somewhat unsteady: "This concubine..."
But then Du gently raised her hand to press down on Deng Jie, and then she softly fell into Lu Bu's arms, her jade arms encircling his neck, and said coquettishly, "General~ does the General dislike me because I am ugly and old, and not worthy to enjoy the General's favor alone?"
Her voice was sweet and charming, and her eyes were full of allure. Her fingers lightly brushed across Lu Bu's chest, and the beast could not resist her even slightly.
His bones instantly melted, and he hugged Madam Du, laughing heartily: "My beauty, what are you saying! There is no one in the world who can compare to you! Very well, very well, this marquis only wants you!"
Deng Jie and Guo Jia secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
Lady Du instructed the two men to "step back" and began to prepare wine and food, pulling Lü Bu to drink and make merry.
The two men retreated outside to wait, but Lu Bu did not fall even as dusk approached.
The "sedative medicine" prepared earlier seemed to have little effect on Lü Bu.
Although his eyes were glazed over and his speech was becoming slurred, he remained energetic and showed no signs of drowsiness. His imposing body pressed firmly on the mat like a mountain.
Du was anxious. She whispered a few words to Lü Bu and then withdrew, pulling Guo Jia and Deng Jie to a secluded spot. She said, "The medicine doesn't seem to be working enough... If we drag this out, we might have to wait all night..."
Guo Jia instantly understood, blinked in disgust, and looked at Deng Jie: "Is there any more potent medicine?"
Deng Jie shook his head helplessly: "Medicinal herbs are scarce in the city, and it's not easy to concoct this prescription..."
Du looked the two of them up and down, bit her lip, and said in a low voice, "I have a plan... This stupid guy is different from ordinary people, but he has no resistance to women."
I've gotten him half-drunk; his vision is blurry...
"Why don't you all change into women's clothing and pretend to be my newly acquired dancers? The three of us will move together, covering for each other, and then... take his clothes off!"
"Huh?!" Guo Jia and Deng Jie were both stunned, Guo Jia's face turning pale instantly: "I...I?!"
Deng Jie's eyes lit up as he looked Guo Jia up and down, scrutinizing his handsome profile and slightly slender figure. He nodded seriously and said, "Fengxiao is thin and has a handsome face. With some makeup, he might actually look good!"
Guo Jia felt a lump in his throat when his wife said that to him. He was a grown man, how could he do such a thing?
But then he thought of Lü Bu's lecherous appearance and realized that letting Deng Jie in would be dangerous. In the end, he closed his eyes in grief and indignation: "So be it! It's better than leaving Shuo Yi alone with this beast!"
They completely ignored Du's helpless expression, which seemed to say, "I'm here too, okay?"
Madam Du led the two to a side room to do their makeup. Deng Jie was already beautiful, and after changing into the peach-colored dance dress prepared by Madam Du, she styled her hair into a high bun and adorned it with pearl hairpins, making her look charming and lovely.
Guo Jia was forced to wear a slightly oversized pale yellow robe, his hair was styled in a droopy bun, his face was covered with thick powder, and his eyebrows were forcibly drawn thin by the maid.
He hung his head, utterly dejected, and dared not look at the bronze mirror except for stealing a glance at Deng Jie.
Fortunately, the final result was remarkable. The two women looked completely different from the previous female doctor and herbalist, and the dim candlelight also blurred Guo Jia's gender.
Deng Jie carefully examined her husband and was even pleasantly surprised: "Fengxiao looks...good-looking too!"
Guo Jia covered his face and said in a low voice, "Madam, please don't make fun of me~" which made Deng Jie giggle.
Guo Jia never expected that the dance Deng Jie had learned from Bian Shi would come in handy now. His half-baked zither skills also proved useful.
Lady Du was serving Lü Bu in the main hall. When the two entered, she smiled and said to Lü Bu, "General, we recently acquired some new sisters. One is a graceful dancer, and the other is skilled in music. Why don't we have them perform a song for you to enhance your drinking experience?"
Lu Bu, his eyes blurry with drunkenness, looked at the shadowy figures behind the curtain and waved his hand, "Good! Jump! A good jump... will be richly rewarded!"
Guo Jia took his zither and sat down, plucking the strings. Deng Jie took a deep breath and began to dance gracefully to the music.
Even though Guo Jia longed to immerse himself in watching his wife dance, this wasn't the kind of scene he wanted! Suppressing his shame, he channeled his emotions into the music and unknowingly improved his skills.
Surrounded by fine wine, beautiful women, and music, Lü Bu was already quite drunk, feeling as if he were floating on air.
Du tried to take the opportunity to touch his chest, but Lü Bu grabbed her hand and caressed it.
Seeing this, Deng Jie simply lifted the beaded curtain, spun around and approached Lü Bu's seat. Her wide sleeves seemed to brush against his chest unintentionally, but Lü Bu suddenly reached out and tried to grab Deng Jie's wrist: "Little beauty, come and have a drink with me!"
Startled, Deng Jie spun around and retreated, narrowly avoiding the attack.
Taking the opportunity, Lady Du acted coquettishly, tugging at Lü Bu's arm: "General, have you forgotten me now that you've found a new favorite?"
Lu Bu's robe was pulled loose, revealing the inner pocket where the token was bulging!
Lu Bu, however, was so drunk that he suddenly waved his hand, almost knocking Du Shi over: "Beauty, stop fooling around!" He turned around, and the token was put back in his bosom.
Seeing that Lü Bu wasn't corrupt enough, Du gave Guo Jia a wink: "Sisters, come and serve the general a cup!"
Guo Jia was torn between two conflicting thoughts. He couldn't very well send his wife, who couldn't drink, on the road. In the end, he gritted his teeth and decided to go for it!
He stopped playing the zither, picked up a cup of wine, and, imitating Deng Jie, walked with stiff, awkward steps, head down, and crept up to Lü Bu.
He cursed inwardly: What kind of "bending step" is this? Jia's back is really going to break!
He sat down, turned his head slightly to Lu Bu, and said in a high-pitched voice, "General... please, please drink this cup to the brim..."
Guo Jia's wine cup trembled, half from anger and half from embarrassment.
With hazy eyes, Lü Bu looked at the "tall but head-down, strange-voiced" "dancer" before him, chuckled, and reached out to touch Guo Jia's chin: "This... she's quite charming! Come, drink with me!"
He then reached for the wine cup with his other hand, saying, "Come on, beauty, you drink too!"
Guo Jia suppressed the urge to chop off his hand, and instead feigned shyness, took the wine cup offered by Lü Bu with her mouth, and drank it all in one gulp: "General~ I've finished drinking, I'm a general now~"
Deng Jie stared wide-eyed at Guo Jia's increasingly skillful handling of the situation and couldn't help but move away.
Lu Bu was overjoyed and, holding Guo Jia's hand, gulped down a cup of wine, laughing loudly, "My beauty has a good capacity for alcohol! More, more!"
Deng Jie danced closer again, picked up his wine cup, and tried to take advantage of the chaos to pour him another cup.
The three men, one urging Lu Bu to drink, one drinking with him, and one acting coquettishly, surrounded and besieged him, making Lu Bu very happy. He was in high spirits and accepted all the drinks offered.
Finally, Lu Bu was so drunk that his eyes became completely glazed over, and his massive body collapsed onto the mat with a thud. His robes came undone, revealing the pockets inside...
Deng Jie's eyes narrowed, and he stepped forward, holding his breath as he carefully probed with his fingers.
The moment my fingertips touched the cold, hard edge of the token...
The door was shoved open with great force, and a chilling, murderous aura instantly rushed in, accompanied by an angry voice: "Lu Bu!"
The newcomer was tall and slender, with a clear face and sharp eyes.
In that instant, Guo Jia had already determined that the newcomer must be Chen Gong, Chen Gongtai!
Lu Bu was also jolted awake by his shout, barely opening his drunken eyes. "Gongtai? What...what are you doing here? Want to have a drink with me?"
He said sternly, with a pained expression, "Fengxian, you bear the safety of this city and the lives of hundreds of thousands of soldiers and civilians on your shoulders! Cao Cao's army is right outside the city and has already begun building dikes to block the water! How can you indulge in wine and women at this moment and neglect important military and political affairs?!"
Even important matters within the manor require your return to handle. Madam Yan cannot manage alone, so she sent me to invite you back to take charge of the overall situation..."
"What... take charge of the overall situation... one person can't hold up the whole tree, just making a fuss over nothing within the mansion. Wasn't it all taken care of yesterday?"
Lu Bu, drunk, waved his hand dismissively. "I'm not as meticulous as you, Gongtai, when it comes to matters within the city... With you here, I... can rest assured! Haha... Beauty, pour more wine!"
As he spoke, he reached out and grabbed the wine jug hidden in the dark.
His gaze swept over Madam Du, filled with undisguised contempt. "A beautiful woman is a source of trouble! She only serves to erode a hero's ambition!"
He then looked earnestly at Lü Bu: "It is truly disheartening that Xigong's loyal heart and courage are not valued by you!"
"Loyal and devoted?" a cold "female voice" rang out.
"What a wonderful phrase, 'utterly loyal and devoted,' it's truly touching."
So, it turns out that Chen Gongtai, who presided over the Yanzhou Rebellion, also had someone with "unwavering loyalty"?
Who are you?!
Upon hearing these sarcastic remarks, Chen Gong was so angry that his nose almost twisted. Just as he was about to rush behind the curtain, Deng Jie pounced on him and blocked him with his own body. "Strategist, strategist, please don't be angry. You've offended the general..."
When Guo Jia saw Deng Jie blocking him, a surge of anger welled up within him, and he almost rushed forward to confront Chen Gong, but Deng Jie desperately stopped him with a look in his eyes.
Guo Jia gritted his teeth, then turned to support Lü Bu, and said in a high-pitched, coquettish voice, "Yes, General~ I was just saying some hearsay, why is the strategist so angry? It's quite frightening!"
Lu Bu lay on his mat, laughing heartily as he listened: "What the beauty said is true... hiccup, I didn't expect... I didn't expect to step on Gongtai's tail... hahaha..."
Chen Gong was so angry that he slammed the door and left.
Deng Jie finally breathed a sigh of relief.
"General, this strategist is so arrogant, who really calls the shots in the city?" Guo Jia became increasingly adept, glancing at Lu Bu lying unconscious on the ground while beckoning Deng Jie over.
"Of course, of course... I decide..." Lu Bu said, gradually losing consciousness and snoring loudly.
Guo Jia stepped forward to inspect the item, gently took the token from the man's pocket, and replaced it with a counterfeit.
Du finally breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed to the ground, while Deng Jie also felt a sense of exhaustion from surviving a disaster.
Guo Jia handed the token to Deng Jie and helped her up. The two bowed to Du Shi to express their gratitude, but Du Shi waved weakly and let them leave.
After Guo Jia changed back into his medicine boy clothes at the Qin residence, he kept wiping his face as he walked, and Deng Jie couldn't help but laugh when he saw his smeared face.
“When Fengxiao plays the role of the sisters, she is quite charming.”
"Stop, stop talking! It's creepy."
He wrapped his arms around Deng Jie's waist and snuggled into the crook of her neck. "You'd better 'comfort' Jia properly tonight. I'm disgusted by that beast."
Deng Jie pouted and said angrily, "How are you any different from him...?"
A note from the author:
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