Chapter 69 Life and Death (Part 1) It's only right to do nothing...
With the waist tag and her own story, she managed to get away with it and indeed saw Hua Tuo, who was imprisoned. He was locked up in a separate cell in the inner cell, which looked more spacious and cleaner than the outer cell. There was even a special table set up for him, and bamboo slips and medicine bags were piled up there.
"Master?"
Seeing that Hua Tuo was still focused on his work, Deng Jie called out to him after the jailer left.
"Yijun?!"
Upon hearing her voice, Hua Tuo almost collapsed to the prison pillar, his eyes wide with shock. "You...you?"
He looked at Deng Jie's still pale face and his belly, which was no longer swollen.
"You gave birth?! When did this happen? You're severely depleted of qi and blood after childbirth and need to rest. How could you get out of bed and be exposed to the wind, and... and even come to such a filthy place?!" His voice trembled with heartache.
When Deng Jie saw Hua Tuo's haggard face, realizing that he was concerned about her affairs but was imprisoned here, a wave of grievances welled up in her heart. She grasped Hua Tuo's hand, and though they were separated by an inner and outer barrier, tears streamed down her face uncontrollably: "Fengxiao said you went home, everyone said you went home... but I don't believe it. You promised to deliver my baby, and you still had to help Cao Gong and Cang Shu Gongzi. I don't believe you just left without a word."
Seeing her appearance, Hua Tuo felt a great deal of grievance in his heart and sighed, "I am also... unable to help myself."
He looked around, lowered his voice, and told Deng Jie the whole story:
Two months ago, he went out of the city to look for medicine and was found by people close to the emperor. They told him that he had kidnapped his family and asked Hua Tuo to cooperate with them to take advantage of Cao Cao's northern expedition to kill Cao Chong and Cao Cao.
Deng Jie couldn't understand why Cao Chong would be targeted, even though it was one thing to target Cao Cao.
"That's...that's because for the past few years, Sikong has been secretly building up support for Young Master Cangshu, claiming that he is born with extraordinary talents and is destined by heaven..."
"The Mandate of Heaven?!" Deng Jie was incredulous. This was a blatant threat to the emperor, so it was only natural for the emperor to take action against Cao Cao and his companion.
"But what... does all this have to do with you, Master, being here?" Deng Jie closed her eyes in anguish, for she simply didn't have the energy to consider the internal connections.
Hua Tuo swallowed hard and continued, "Back then, Ji Ping had invited me to participate in the secret edict. At that time, I had just arrived in Xudu and was unwilling to get involved in these disputes, but I also did not want him to get involved... Although I replaced the poison he gave to Sikong in time, Fengxiao still found out... But Fengxiao never blamed me for this, so he always sent people from the Office of the Imperial Censorate to protect me."
Deng Jie almost laughed out loud. "Protect?" How could she not know what the School Affairs Office was? How could she talk about "protecting" it?
Hua Tuo paused for a moment, also wanting to ignore this detail, "Therefore, after the emperor's men made contact with me, they were immediately discovered by Lu Hong's men... Fengxiao promised me that he would personally send someone to Qiao County to fetch my family and bring them to Ye City to reunite with me..."
He loosened his withered hands and paced into the cell, his voice low. "But I heard that the Emperor is planning something new, which might be bad for me... Fengxiao said that this prison is the most secure in the entire Ye City and is unknown to outsiders... He arranged for me to stay here temporarily, ostensibly as a prisoner, but in reality... for protection."
"Protection?!" Deng Jie couldn't bear to listen anymore. Pointing at the cold, filthy cage, she questioned sharply, "What kind of protection is this?! This is clearly a prison! And he's trying to trick you into providing protection?! Even if he wanted protection, why couldn't he arrange it in a secluded courtyard?! Besides, this is clearly a struggle between the Emperor and the Minister of Works, why must you be involved?! Why must a child be dragged into it?!"
Hua Tuo clung to the prison pillar again, reaching out to stop the agitated Deng Jie. "Silly child, in this situation, who can escape unscathed once they're involved? Fengxiao's actions... though flawed, were a helpless expedient. I don't blame him! And you shouldn't hold a grudge against him either!"
He looked at the bamboo slips on the table and the open medicine bag on the ground, and said, "Actually, although the prison is simple, it is quiet and undisturbed, which allows me to study the young master's medical case more carefully."
Mentioning Cao Chong, Deng Jie became even more agitated. She grabbed Hua Tuo's hand and asked, "Master! What exactly is wrong with Young Master Cang Shu's illness? Why have you never told me the truth? The time you went to find medicine... he even... had edema all over his body and convulsions. It was so dangerous. Was it all under your control?"
Hua Tuo visibly stiffened and lowered his head. "Young master's illness... is a congenital deficiency from birth, deeply rooted, and cannot be cured by ordinary medicine... I can only... can only use cinnabar as a guide to delay the onset of symptoms..."
"Cinnabar?! They actually used cinnabar?!" Deng Jie's lips twitched involuntarily, almost bursting into laughter. "That's a deadly poison, there's no antidote. Isn't this just harming him?!"
“At least… at least it can temporarily suppress those horrifying symptoms…” Hua Tuo knew he was in the wrong, and his voice trembled slightly. “Otherwise, the young master would not even be able to show his face in public! Sikong… does not want people to see the young master’s true condition and needs him to maintain the image of a ‘child prodigy’.”
"So you used poison to forcefully suppress him for this?!" Deng Jie felt a chill run from his feet to his head, staggered back two steps, and bumped his back against the cold wall. "Was this what Cao Cao requested? Did Fengxiao know about it too?"
She took a breath as she spoke, recalling Madam Huan's humble attitude towards her, "Does Madam Huan also know?! You all know, and you all agree?!"
"I...I was absolutely unwilling to use it!" Hua Tuo pleaded urgently, his face full of pain. "It was...it was Young Master Cang Shu himself...he begged Sikong, begged me to use it...he made his own choice; he wanted to inherit Sikong's expectations of him..."
As Deng Jie spoke, he clutched his head in anguish, “You are all so strange… so strange… Everyone is willing to gamble with their lives for this so-called ‘destiny,’ sacrificing Master’s freedom and children’s health… Master, what is the true heart of a healer?”
“We know you must have some reservations about this matter… so we kept it from you…” Hua Tuo offered a weak explanation, even though he knew it was useless to Deng Jie.
Deng Jie shook his head dejectedly, "I'm not some god or anything. Whether I hide it or not... what difference does it make... I still can't change your decision, I can't change anything..."
As she spoke, the aftershocks of the imperial edict seven years ago reverberated through her. It turned out that all her efforts to understand them and the workings of this world had been in vain. At this moment, all she wanted was to escape from here, to escape this suffocating reality.
"Yijun, Yijun!" Hua Tuo saw Deng Jie turn to leave and anxiously clung to the prison bars, calling out to her, "You...you go back and rest well, please take good care of yourself!"
Deng Jie lifted his foot to leave, but Hua Tuo called out again, "Yi Jun, Yi Jun! Please ask Feng Xiao for me. He said that if he brings his family to Ye City, he will release me from prison and we can be reunited! Is there any progress on this matter? Will they be able to come to Ye City?"
Deng Jie stopped again, but did not turn around.
She had her back to Hua Tuo, her shoulders trembling slightly.
"knew."
In the end, he left those words behind, pulled up the hood of his cloak, and hurriedly departed.
Deng Jie wrapped his cloak tightly around himself, but he couldn't block out the chill that seeped into his body.
She stumbled down the street, her mind a complete blank. She only knew she should go home, but for some reason, a question arose in her mind: Where is my home...?
A sharp shout, accompanied by the sudden stop of the carriage, startled Deng Jie so much that he stumbled and nearly fell.
The coachman stood up angrily and shouted at Deng Jie.
"What's all this commotion?" Xun Wei's cold voice came from inside the carriage.
A slender hand lifted the carriage curtain, and Xun Wei peeked out. When she saw that the person standing in front of the carriage was Deng Jie, who looked distraught and pale, she exclaimed, "Say Yi?!"
Xun Wei jumped out of the carriage himself and helped the swaying Deng Jie. "What's wrong with you?! You just gave birth yesterday, how dare you come out on the street alone? Where is Guo Fengxiao? Where the hell is he?"
Deng Jie glanced at her weakly, her eyes filled with grievance.
Xun Wei helped her into the car, "Let's take you home first!"
Inside the carriage, thick blankets were laid out and small heaters were burning, creating a world completely different from the cold outside.
Xun Wei settled Deng Jie in, then took off his own fur coat and wrapped it around her cold body.
"When we get back, we must teach Guo Fengxiao a good lesson..."
Before Xun Wei could finish complaining, Deng Jie looked up at her with teary eyes and asked a question she had never expected: "Shen Ge...you've been dealing with intelligence all these years...have you ever encountered a situation where...the intelligence you received was completely different from what you actually saw and heard?"
Deng Jie gripped Xun Wei's hand tightly, yearning for help: "How do you handle these different people and situations? How do you find the balance between 'truth' and 'lies' and maintain your true self?"
Xun Wei was taken aback by the question, "What's wrong with you? Did Guo Fengxiao lie to you again?"
Deng Jie closed her eyes in anguish, tears streaming down her face. She shook her head violently, "I don't know... who's been deceiving me. Everyone says it's for my own good... but everyone's been keeping it from me! I don't understand... I just can't understand!"
Xun Wei fell silent.
Her initially concerned gaze turned cold because of Deng Jie's reaction.
She sighed deeply: "You don't understand... but I do. It's precisely because you can't understand that everyone is keeping it from you."
Xun Wei gave a bitter smile, a smile full of helplessness: "You see, Yi, that's just the kind of person you are. I've said it before, you're not suited to getting involved in these kinds of scheming and intrigue."
You should just stay quietly in your courtyard, be a devoted healer, and take care of your home, your children, and your husband.
Why invite this pain upon yourself, forcing yourself to know those dirty and unbearable truths?
She avoided Deng Jie's gaze and looked out of the car. She knew that what she was about to say would be a bit harsh, but she couldn't help but think what she had thought of long ago: "Guo Fengxiao is willing to guard this false peace and shield you from the wind and snow. You should... make things easier for him."
These words forced all of Deng Jie's grievances and resentment to be swallowed back into his heart.
"...Is that so......" Deng Jie murmured to himself, the light in his eyes completely extinguished, "Even you...think so..."
Large tears rolled down silently, like a broken string. "Yes... I'm so stupid... so useless... I should just be a doctor who doesn't know anything... just guarding him... guarding the home... guarding this false peace that others have given me."
Even as I said that, the question resurfaced in my mind: Where exactly is home?
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