Chapter 59 Can I Hug You?
Lin Shuliang followed Shen Xinghe, who was walking on the street without any purpose.
After walking for about half an hour, Lin Shuliang couldn't help but walk up to him and asked, "Where do you want to go?"
He shook his head and said nothing.
"Go see her, pick a time, she will definitely be happy." Lin Shuliang said casually, her hand lingering on the flowers beside her, "I know you want to go too."
He looked at Lin Shuliang for a while and said, "Let's go eat barbecue."
Of course, Lin Shuliang knew that he was talking about the one they often went to.
When they arrived at the destination, it was already dark. In addition to ordering the usual food, Shen Xinghe actually ordered some wine. Knowing that he was in a bad mood, Lin Shuliang didn't say anything, but quietly asked the boss to take a few fewer bottles.
Shen Xinghe didn't eat much barbecue, but he drank a lot of wine. He might have never drunk much before, so he was always choked and coughed until his face turned red.
Lin Shuliang patted his back and quickly poured him a cup of warm water. "Why are you doing this?"
He pushed Lin Shuliang away and drank the water in one gulp. Lin Shuliang saw that his eyes were very red and his face was very pale.
"If you can't drink, don't drink! What's wrong with you? If you miss her, go and see her. Don't wait until it's too late to regret it." Lin Shuliang was a little angry and returned all the wine to the boss.
He wiped his face with his hand and said, "I would rather she live well somewhere I don't know than to come into my life and suddenly leave."
Even if you don't say it, even if you've been apart for so long, the person you love the most is still in your heart. Shen Xinghe usually never mentions his mother, but at this moment, he can't bear to let her go.
Lin Shuliang put the barbecue in his hand and said, "I don't know how to comfort you. Let's eat the barbecue."
He held Lin Shuliang's hand with his backhand, and the barbecue was pressed on the table. Lin Shuliang looked at the delicious food being ruined, and saw that he was sad, but it was difficult to blame him, "What's wrong?"
He moved his mouth, his eyes were eager, and finally he let go of my hand. "Send me the address of the hospital, I'll go there."
"How do you know I have it?"
"Because you are absolutely sure that you can convince me." In fact, I will listen to whatever you say.
"Since you're already there, talk it out nicely. Don't just say a few words and then leave in a huff. She's a patient, don't lose your temper." Lin Shuliang instructed him as she sent him the address.
"If you're worried, come with me."
"Forget it, you shouldn't have asked me to come here today. I'm an outsider listening to your family's affairs."
Hearing her say that she was an outsider, Shen Xinghe looked at her for a long while, "If you don't want to go, forget it. Do you know why I asked you to come here today?"
"Why?" Lin Shuliang was also very curious about why he asked her to come.
He threw his schoolbag on her lap. "I was afraid I wouldn't be able to go home early today, so I asked you to carry my schoolbag." As he spoke, he had already left his seat. "Be careful on your way home. Thank you."
I knew he wouldn't have good intentions. Never mind. Just consider it as a way to repay him. Lin Shuliang said, "Go home early and be safe."
He turned his back and made an OK gesture, then walked away.
Lin Shuliang dragged two heavy schoolbags, one on her front and one on her back, and walked to get a taxi. She took several taxis but none of them went her way. She was a little frustrated and said with her hands on her waist, "This Shen Xinghe is so heartless that he didn't even give me a taxi before leaving."
Shen Xinghe was standing at the corner. He couldn't hear what she said, but he saw her jumping up and down. He knew without thinking that she was swearing.
Shen Xinghe found it interesting just watching her from a distance, and he didn't leave until she finally got in the car.
…
In the ward.
"I'm sorry, Mom. I went to look for my brother without your permission again. I know you wanted to see him." Lu Xue said with tears in her eyes, sniffing.
Si Yao used to blame her, but now, with oil running out and the lamp running out, these are no longer so important. "Look for it if you want to, it doesn't make any difference. It's just that you shouldn't look for it at this time. He is about to take the college entrance examination... It won't affect him, I'm just overthinking it."
Shen Xinghe pushed the door open and walked in. "You are always so self-righteous. You think you left for my own good and returned because you loved me. Now you say that I don't care whether you live or die. Why do you always put your thoughts on me?"
Si Yao saw that it was him and sat up from the bed, at a loss, "Why are you here?"
She looked very old, her hair was much thinner and her complexion was not pretty. Fortunately, her facial features were still there, so she didn't look that scary.
Lu Xue looked at him gratefully, "Mom, you haven't eaten yet, I'll go buy you some porridge."
She walked out and closed the door softly.
"Come...come and sit down." Si Yao made room for him and asked him to pass.
Shen Xinghe took a look and sat farther away from her.
The ward was blindingly white. Except for the hospital gown she was wearing, everything else was frighteningly white.
Si Yao was very nervous and didn't know what to say for a moment, "I didn't expect you to come."
"Yeah, I didn't expect that." He thought he wouldn't come, but Lin Shuliang was easily influenced.
"You kid. Did Xiaoxue say something? Don't listen to her nonsense. I'm fine." Si Yao pulled down his sleeves, revealing skin covered with needle holes of varying sizes.
Shen Xinghe leaned back in his chair, sitting sideways, facing the window. He let one hand hang down, and rubbed the index finger and thumb of the other hand together. "Go back to England. The medical care there is much better. I just asked your attending physician. In your case, there is a slight chance of recovery in England, but it is almost impossible in China."
How could she not know the condition of her illness? "But, even if I have the surgery in the UK, if it fails, I will...never see you and Xiaoxue again."
"Life itself is an adventure. What if you succeed? You can always watch Xiao...watch her, get married and have children." He wanted to say Xiaoxue, but he couldn't say it out loud. It was too intimate.
Si Yao knew what he meant. She lowered her head and rubbed her hands on the blue and white stripes. "Xinghe, you hate me, right?"
He smiled when he heard the word "hate". "You abandoned me, what feelings do you expect me to have towards you?"
"That's right." Si Yao said self-deprecatingly, "From the beginning to the end, I have been the one who let you and your son down, especially Fang Zhong. He and I have been divorced for so many years, and he has not married yet in order to raise you. There is not even any ambiguity. I am ashamed of myself. You should hate me."
Shen Xinghe had always felt that there was something wrong between his father and the female secretary, because he had seen the woman sending him home drunk on several occasions. One time when he came home, he saw him leaning on the woman's shoulder.
He said at the time, "You are so disgusting."
After that, Shen Xinghe never saw the female secretary again. But in his heart, he was sure that Shen Fangzhong and the woman were having an affair.
Some even thought that he was cheating on her, which was why his mother left him.
Now Si Yao said this, Shen Xinghe thought for a moment, "Doesn't he have a female secretary?"
"Do you still remember this?" Si Yao asked him with a smile. Her face looked better because of the expression on it. "Keke has complained to me several times, saying that she was fired because of you, and your father only dared to use male secretaries from now on."
"Do you know each other?"
"Well, we're friends, and she told me, I think you're kind of cute."
He was a little unaccustomed to such a casual and intimate conversation. He turned away and said, "I thought you were getting divorced because of her."
"Do you think we got divorced because your dad had someone else outside?"
He nodded, then shook his head, "It doesn't matter anymore."
Yeah, it didn't matter anymore, he knew the answer now. His father hadn't cheated on him, and for him, he had stayed with her forever.
Thinking of this, he felt guilty. After all, his attitude towards Shen Fangzhong had always been bad. Although the two depended on each other, they often quarreled.
If the two sides cannot reach a consensus, both will suffer losses.
But now, he suddenly wanted to go back to see his father. He stood up and walked to the door. "The past is the past. No matter what, I hope you are alive and well."
"Wait..." Si Yao called him, "Can I hug you?"
Shen Xinghe didn't move for a long time.
"Forget it, I was just saying it casually." Si Yao deliberately spoke casually, but he was actually very disappointed.
Shen Xinghe walked over quickly, hugged her gently, and then stood aside cautiously, "I'm leaving."
Si Yao didn't expect him to do this, she just nodded, still maintaining the same posture. Finally, she couldn't help it anymore, she covered her mouth and cried silently.
Over the years, no matter how far she went, she would always feel guilty towards Shen Xinghe, a feeling that could not be erased even on the other side of the ocean. Now, this feeling seemed to have found a place to rest.
Shen Fangzhong also came. The father and son ran into each other downstairs and felt a little embarrassed.
"Are you here to..." Shen Fangzhong asked.
"Look at her." He couldn't utter the title.
"I just found out about it, so I came to take a look. Since you've already seen it, I'll come back tomorrow. Let's go home."
It took about half an hour to walk back to the hospital. Shen's father suggested walking back, and Shen Xinghe did not refuse. The two walked along the street.
Shen Xinghe glanced at him secretly, cleared his throat and said, "You look quite handsome today."
He was stunned at first, then laughed out loud, "You have good taste."
Shen Xinghe looked at his graying hair and realized that he was already old enough to have gray hair.
"Dad." He stopped and called out.
Shen Fangzhong responded without stopping, "What's the matter?"
When she realized that he hadn't caught up with her, she turned around and asked, "What did you call me for?"
"You should find a companion."
"Why?" Shen Fangzhong felt it was a bit sudden.
"Because I'm going to college soon, and you'll be the only one at home."
"I'm too busy every day to go home. There's no difference between one person and two people." Shen Fangzhong shook his hands nonchalantly.
"I'm grown up now, you don't have to worry about me." Shen Xinghe said sincerely.
"I didn't take care of you. What's wrong with you today?" He frowned, unable to figure out the reason for Shen Xinghe's abnormal behavior.
Shen Xinghe walked in front of him and said, "You can handle it yourself. Don't hide at home and cry when I'm not around."
Shen Fangzhong looked at his back and smiled: It seems that my son has finally grown up.