Under the moon, I pour out my heart, unable to find peace.
As dusk settled, the last rays of sunlight were swallowed by the rolling mountains. Xie Yunzhi and Mo Xiaoyu stopped in a secluded valley and found a sheltered cave to rest.
After several days of rapid travel, coupled with the exhaustion from breaking the formation, even Xie Yunzhi felt a bit tired, let alone Mo Xiaoyu, whose cultivation was still shallow. She leaned against the cold rock wall, her face somewhat pale, and her breathing was a bit more rapid than usual.
Xie Yunzhi silently started a small campfire. The orange flames flickered, dispelling the chill and darkness of the cave and casting flickering shadows on his sharply defined profile. He took out a water pouch and some dry rations and handed them to Mo Xiaoyu, his movements natural, as if he had done it a thousand times before.
"How far have we...left the Qingyun Sect's territory?" Mo Xiaoyu asked softly, taking the water pouch. Everything outside was too unfamiliar to her; only the person beside her was her sole support.
"About a thousand miles." Xie Yunzhi poked at the campfire, sparks crackling. "They can't catch up for now."
A thousand miles away. Mo Xiaoyu silently pondered this word, her heart filled with mixed emotions. This meant that they had truly embarked on a path of exile, completely severing ties with everything from the past.
A profound silence fell over the cave, broken only by the crackling of burning firewood and the faint chirping of insects outside. A subtly tense atmosphere hung in the air. Since leaving the forbidden area, a thin veil seemed to have separated the two. The surging memories of their past lives, the heavy burdens of their missions, stood like an invisible barrier between their hearts, which had been drawing closer.
Mo Xiaoyu secretly glanced at him. In the firelight, Xie Yunzhi's brows were lowered, his long eyelashes casting faint shadows beneath his eyelids, making it impossible to discern his emotions. He was no longer the aloof and arrogant genius disciple of the Qingyun Sect, nor was he the grief-stricken man completely overwhelmed by memories of his past life as Yun Xi. Now, he was like a bottomless ancient well, calm and reserved, yet containing an indescribable complexity.
She remembered his figure shielding her, the warmth of his hand in hers, and the occasional flash of weariness and heaviness in his eyes, a quality unique to Yun Xi. She knew he remembered everything, including the sacrifices of the Mo clan in her past life. This realization weighed heavily on her heart, causing her both heartache for the resolute decision of her ancestor and an inability to help but wonder—did he treat her now because she was Mo Xiaoyu, or because she was of the Mo clan's bloodline, the shadow of the Daoist companion who died for him?
This doubt, like a vine, quietly entwined her heart, making her afraid to face things as openly as before.
"What are you thinking about?" Xie Yunzhi suddenly asked, his voice unusually clear in the silent cave.
Mo Xiaoyu was startled, like a child caught doing something wrong. She hurriedly lowered her eyelashes and took a sip of water to cover up her mistake: "N-nothing."
Xie Yunzhi raised his eyes, his gaze calmly landing on her. His gaze seemed to pierce through her feigned composure, reaching the deepest unease within her. He remained silent for a moment before slowly saying, "You're afraid."
It's not a question, it's a statement.
Mo Xiaoyu's fingers tightened slightly as she gripped the water pouch, but she did not deny it.
"Are you afraid of the dangers ahead, or..." He paused, his voice lowering, "...afraid of me?"
Mo Xiaoyu suddenly looked up, meeting his deep eyes. There was no blame, no displeasure, only a knowing calm, and... a barely perceptible weariness.
“I…” She opened her mouth, her throat a little dry, “I just don’t know… who you are now? Are you Xie Yunzhi, or… Yunxi?” She finally asked the question that had been lingering in her mind for so long.
Xie Yunzhi did not answer immediately. He looked away, gazing at the deep night outside the cave, the light of the campfire flickering in his eyes.
"I am Xie Yunzhi." After a long silence, he spoke, his voice carrying an unwavering certainty. "I remember Yunxi's memories, emotions, and responsibilities; I feel them deeply. But that was a tragic dream belonging to the past. The dream is over, and I am Xie Yunzhi living in this life."
He looked at her again, his gaze focused and honest: "I remember Yunxi's regret and pain towards the Mo family, and I also remember Mo Xiaoyu in Qingyun Sect, who always secretly watched me, cried by the cold pool, reminded me to be careful outside the alchemy room, and worried about me in the scripture pavilion."
Mo Xiaoyu's heart skipped a beat.
“In her past life, Mo sacrificed herself for the greater good. I respect her, I feel ashamed of her, and I will never forget her.” His voice was slightly hoarse, but it quickly became clear and firm. “But in this life, Mo Xiaoyu has her own joys and sorrows, and her own choices. I do not want to, and I will never, let her repeat the same mistakes and sacrifice herself for anyone again.”
He leaned forward, getting closer to her. The light from the campfire enveloped him and illuminated Mo Xiaoyu's instantly reddened eyes.
“I can tell the difference.” He looked at her, each word solemn as a vow, “In my past life, it was my responsibility and my sorrow to be with you; in this life, it is Xie Yunzhi’s heart’s desire to protect you. Little Fish, what I want is not another tragic cycle of reincarnation, but to walk side by side with you in this life and live on.”
Tears streamed down her face without warning. Mo Xiaoyu hurriedly lowered her head, not wanting him to see her disheveled appearance. The heavy boulder in her heart seemed to shatter instantly upon hearing those words. All her anxiety, doubts, and unease vanished in that moment.
He didn't treat her as a substitute for anyone else. He knew exactly who she was, and what he cherished was the real, living her before him.
"I'm sorry..." she choked up, "I shouldn't have doubted you..."
A warm hand gently stroked her cheek, wiping away her tears. The movement was gentle, filled with tenderness.
"I'm the one who should apologize." Xie Yunzhi's voice softened. "I was trapped by past dreams and failed to explain things to you sooner, causing you unease."
He held her hand, palm to palm, warmth passing between them. "From now on, no matter what the future holds, we will be each other's only support. Will you trust me this time?"
Mo Xiaoyu raised her tear-filled face and looked at his clear reflection, where only her figure was visible. She nodded vigorously, then gripped his hand tightly, as if trying to intertwine their lifelines together.
"I believe you." Her voice was trembling with tears, but her determination was unwavering. "In my past life, I did my duty for you; in this life, I follow my heart to be with you. Yunzhi, wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be with you."
The crackling campfire illuminated their tightly clasped hands and the unwavering determination in their eyes. The shadows of their past lives had not yet completely faded, and the trials of this life had only just begun, but at this moment, in this small yet warm cave, their hearts were closer than ever before.
They were no longer pitiful people burdened by a heavy fate, but allies and lovers who chose each other and decided to face everything together. This affection, which grew in hardship and was strengthened by honesty, became the brightest lamp in this vast darkness.
Outside the cave, the night wind was still biting, but it could no longer dispel the warmth in this corner.
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