11 From then on, the stormy waves were for me
◎Post-Diary◎
[Afterword] (Please beware if you are concerned about having children)
[Ryo Tomioka, a famous writer, translator, and doctor in China, wrote a short autobiography in his later years.]
: I think I am an extremely selfish and somewhat clever person. I am absolutely unwilling to share everything I have, my honor, my reputation, and all my praiseworthy qualities with anyone.
When facing the ups and downs of fate, I tell myself to be patient for now.
I was born into a wealthy family, but my mother died and my father remarried. My status plummeted, and because of the policies at the time, my family fell into poverty. My stepmother framed me and sold me to Youguo to be a servant.
At that time, my fate was probably to serve a courtesan for a year or two, then learn the art of playing the zither, go to a geisha school, and become a geisha.
I am sick of this kind of future. I am sick of that cramped house. The girl who lives with me is mean and sharp. She thinks she is being nice to me and tries to move herself, but then she continues to use the sharpest words to me.
Perhaps the only favor that God has bestowed upon me is a good-looking appearance, even though this appearance once caused the courtesans I served to torture me in every way.
The first turning point in my destiny came at the age of fifteen.
At that time, there was a chivalrous swordsman near Youguo, chasing the villains into Youguo. I have always been cautious and would never make a decision without absolute certainty, but that night, I seemed to be crazy and asked the young man if he could take me away from there.
It was not a redemption, but it was like elopement at that time.
The young man agreed.
This young man is my husband, Mr. Tomioka Giyu. In his early twenties, he is not good at speaking, and his words are even very harsh. I have been irritated by his speech problems many times.
In the first line, I mentioned that I am an extremely selfish person, so when it came to my future husband, I had only one thought, which was to hold this young man in my hands. Whether it was love or anything else, I had to rely on this person until I had someone to rely on completely.
So I always smiled and talked to Mr. Yiyong, and tried my best to please him.
Mr. Yiyong was a man of integrity. His job at the time was dangerous, so he couldn't make promises lightly. I was only sixteen that year, and after hitting a wall, I was very discouraged and decided to give up this path.
This was also the opportunity for me to start studying seriously.
Mr. Yiyong knows that I don’t like him, but for me, he is the best choice, in terms of character, appearance and property.
But he said he still fell in love with me.
He was willing to help me. Money was just a thing outside of his body to him. He bought me many things, which I never dared to ask for.
I remember that the first gift he gave me was a cherry blossom clip. It was exquisitely made and I liked it very much.
Perhaps from that day on, I became more sincere towards Mr. Yiyong.
Love was a luxury for me at that time. I was more concerned about what I should do in the future and what I should do to escape the situation of living under someone else's roof.
Later, because of some things, I went to a girls' school in Tokyo. Perhaps from that time on, my life ushered in the first real transformation.
When I was seventeen, I created "Wisteria" and was honored to be loved by everyone. In addition, I started to take on some translation work, and I accumulated some assets.
This gave me the confidence to re-examine my relationship with Mr. Yiyong.
Later I asked Mr. Yiyong if he knew what I was thinking at that time?
My idea is that I have never regarded Mr. Yiyong as my boyfriend, lover, or fiancé from the beginning to the end. I would rather regard this person as the benefactor who started my life.
Mr. Yiyong was very calm. He was drinking tea that day and just nodded, saying he knew.
I asked him with a smile if he was not angry.
He shook his head and said that he had never blamed me for this and was even happy about it.
During those years, he could have died at any time. He was afraid that I would be sad because of his death, but my attitude made him calm.
If Lian would cry because of my death, then it doesn’t matter if Lian doesn’t like me.
This man always calmly says sweet words that move women.
He didn't think it was a love talk either.
Later he stopped being a swordsman, and we settled down in Edo and got married in the presence of his relatives and friends.
I have been writing for the past two years and have achieved some success. The news was widely publicized and my writing and appearance were tied together. This was a bit distressing for me, but at that time, appearance was a marketing tool that others could not replicate.
My greatest pleasure, besides writing and researching Mr. Yiyong's health, is cooking. Mr. Yiyong loves herring and radish, and this hasn't changed for decades. It's rare for this serious man to be so happy just by eating herring and radish.
As fame grows, troubles also come knocking.
Someone tried to sneak into our house, and Mr. Yiyong broke his leg. Every time I think about it, I can't help but laugh. Mr. Yiyong was so strong, and he never expected that the scoundrel's leg would be broken like that. He stood stiffly in front of me, saying with great grievance that he had only kicked me.
We have since moved to a new home.
Before we went to study in France, we had our first child, Yi Yi. As soon as I recovered from my illness, I left the country, leaving Mr. Yi Yong alone to take care of the newborn baby.
Fortunately, during that time, his fellow apprentices would often come to visit him, and they also liked Yi Yi very much.
I spent two years in Europe and hardly had a single day to relax. I was extremely busy every day. Apart from some necessary social engagements, I spent all my time in the library and laboratory.
I started studying medicine because I needed a skill to make a living. Later, various things happened and in everyone's eyes, my literary achievements far surpassed my medical achievements, but I did not give up studying medicine.
Mr. Yiyong's health is getting worse every year. I must save him.
As everyone knows, most of my medical papers were published after middle age, but in fact, I had already written them when I was in my twenties. Later, when I was tidying up my bookcase, I found these manuscripts, and then I rebound them and made them public.
Mr. Yiyong and I have known each other for nearly forty years. He has never argued with me and always supports all my decisions.
Many friends, or people I just talked to a few times, introduced me to some young and handsome guys, under the pretext of wanting to meet me as a playwright.
Japanese people tend to say no implicitly, so I never said anything harsh. But in reality, I had a lot of harsh words to say, which was not good for my career.
I know many people want to know my real last name and think that I should have my own name instead of Mr. Yiyong's last name.
But for me, Mr. Yiyong's surname is a bond between us that can never be separated. We are relatives, lovers, and soul mates.
My real name is meaningless.
A person who truly wants to live for himself will not care about what a code name is. I may have forgotten the name that I only used for a dozen years, or maybe I haven't forgotten it, but it has died in the past. Why should I dig a dead thing's grave?
There is no need to impose the public's ideas on us.
The day Mr. Yiyong left me was also a quiet rainy night.
Rain is a very sad thing. I have never doubted the sorrow that rain brings to mankind. When the rain fell on the banana leaves outside, Mr. Yiyong held my hand and closed his eyes.
This is the result of my battle with death, he should have died at the age of twenty-five.
I couldn't stop crying, but the rain outside was so heavy that it completely drowned out the sound of my sobs.
I seemed to have returned to that rainy night many years ago. I was squatting under a short tree washing clothes in a mess, and he broke open the window and chased the criminals to leave.
He was full of justice, and I stood in the rain looking at him.
At that time, I was looking at the sea that I could never reach in my lifetime. Its waves were roaring and like a raging water dragon, they would not leave any trace on the beach.
But that night, he turned back.
From then on, the stormy waves were for me.
【Author’s words】
My sister's high sense of match... [glasses]
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