So far
Although she has many suitors, Sugako has never been in love. Not only has she not met someone who can really make her heart beat, but also because of her attitude that she is not sure whether to call rational or overly cautious.
When young people fall in love, they often embrace the motto "drink while the wine is here," simply enjoying the moment. They don't care about how long the relationship will last, only that they once had it. But Suga is different. She subconsciously overthinks things. First, she's been busy since she was a child, learning this skill, understanding that theory... Of course, this was her own positive choice, not forced by her family. Therefore, if a relationship is to happen, investing time in it is essential; even if the other person is caring, it's impossible to not invest in it at all. Or, if the relationship falters and the two of them argue constantly, wouldn't that be a waste of time, effort, and energy?
Secondly, she's never been good at managing relationships, even friendships, which is why she hasn't had many friends since she was a child. This inability to manage relationships can lead to a subtle fear of difficulty and hassle, and she's like that. This has silently shaped her view of love: Don't bother talking about it, or if you do, you want it to last. She doesn't want to suffer the pain of love lightly, let alone more than once.
Finally, regarding the subject of love, she wonders what it will be like once it actually begins. Before it even begins, she can't help but consider the other person's emotional investment, their current circumstances, and so on. It's not about material considerations, but rather, what should I put it? A fear of indebtedness. She worries that if the other person gives too much for her, she won't be able to bear it, will feel constrained, and may even suspect emotional bondage.
This is how girls with air signs face love.
I love freedom by nature, need space, am afraid of being bound, have changeable emotions, am used to over-weighing the pros and cons, and love to pursue perfection... After all the tossing and turning, I found that it is best to be alone.
well.
Huh~
Faced with Yingran's frankness and honesty, Sugao, who had come back to her senses from her trance, breathed a sigh of relief. Her mood became unusually calm. She asked softly, "Why do you have to see me?"
Even though she knew the answer to this question.
I just want to lay everything out, not be ambiguous or overthinking... After confirming clearly, if it is impossible, don't waste others' time, and don't let yourself be filled with worries.
Perhaps, it could also be to interrupt a farce of hunting for love under the guise of love.
See, she just loves to overthink possibilities.
"Sister, do you really not know or are you pretending not to know?" Facing Sugao's indifference, Yingran licked her lips unconsciously, and her already fiery eyes became even more crazy and obsessed, with love like a storm rolling in her eyes, firm, hot, greedy, and with a strong possessiveness... It seemed as if she was afraid that Sugao could not understand her feelings, and she was brewing the prelude to devouring people with great momentum.
This time, there was no intention of dodging in Sugao's eyes. She saw a deep ocean through Yingran's eyes, with a terrible whirlpool roaring, trying to completely suck herself reflected in it.
Surrounded by such strong love, Jianguo heard Yingran say slowly, word by word, "Sister, I like you! I like you very much, I like you very much."
It is no longer an ambiguous and implicit hint, nor is it just a glance. It is the love that has finally been expressed with the courage to break through the reservations.
Every love that is declared loudly can be called bravery.
But, so what?
Jianguo smiled silently: "It's impossible between us."
In contrast to the madness expressed in Yingran's eyes, her expression could be described as indifferent, like a bystander who was not involved in the matter, coldly watching the lovelorn person lose his composure.
Even though he'd been mentally prepared to hear Jianguo's refusal, he still felt as if he were about to die. His heart plummeted from the sky, a heavy feeling of weightlessness reaching his head, making his breath stop...
"Why?" Ying Ran, whose mouth twitched slightly from the pain, couldn't help but clench his hands into fists, his eyes red, and asked with a nasal voice.
"Sister, you haven't even tried it with me, how do you know it's impossible for us?"
The eager and stubborn eyes seemed to want to know the answer.
"No reason." Sugao finally looked away, her suppressed and tense voice hinting that her heart was not as calm as she had imagined.
"It should be," Sugao spoke again, using her strong willpower to make her voice return to coldness.
"You and I are not suitable, and you shouldn't avoid this issue. We come from completely different backgrounds. I grew up with freedom and unrestrained living, while you, with many restrictions. I don't want to fight a guerrilla war every time I meet you, hiding here and there, and I don't want to be captured by the camera. I can't give up what I love and become a staff member by your side, a lover who can't be announced to the public. I have my pride, my persistence, and my love."
Ying Ran understood Jianguo's concerns and wanted to interrupt him in a hurry.
"But, sister, I..."
Jianguo quickly stopped Yingran from saying, "Don't easily say you can give up everything. Don't be silly!"
At this point, Jianguo smiled softly, his eyes softened a lot,
"Yi Ran, don't utter the word 'give up' lightly. You went abroad as a child, believing that singing, dancing, and acting were all your dreams. Since it's a dream, it's sacred and you should have a certain reverence for it. Don't talk about giving up so easily. Besides, you've put in a lot of effort and done well, and your current results are pretty good. You must persevere."
"I know you like me, and to be honest, I have a certain fondness for you, too. After spending so much time with a man with such a beautiful face and easygoing personality, how could I possibly not be moved at all? But, this isn't enough. A superficial liking is light and weightless, and can't sustain much. And I'm also someone who fears trouble. Since this liking seems to have an end in sight, it's better to kill the idea as soon as possible. You may think I'm cruel, heartless, and cold-blooded. But, when you get through this so-called torment and wake up, you'll be grateful to me."
"Also, I'm going abroad soon. Even if we're together, we'll soon be facing not just being in different places, but a foreign country where seeing each other isn't so easy. Do you think it's necessary to waste time and energy on a relationship that you only see a few times a year? Especially since neither of us has a lot of free time."
Jianguo kept a faint smile on her face as she spoke these words. Her tone was unusually calm, like that of a caring older sister, as she analyzed the reality for Yingran bit by bit, weighing the pros and cons.
To Ying Ran, it sounded like a series of gentle knives, coldly stabbing into his heart.
He gritted his teeth secretly, "Sister, do you need to puncture my dream so coldly? Why, do you have to be so rational? Why, don't you even want to give me a chance?"
The voice was filled with unbearable pain and pleading.
Like a trapped beast, it let out a tearing cry.
Jianguo leaned forward slightly and gently wiped the tears that oozed from the corners of Yingran's eyes.
"I just don't want you to be trapped in this love that has no future. Even if I don't know, why do you like me?"
Still, so strong.
Her appearance was not enough to make him fall in love so deeply.
However, she didn't want to know the answer.
"What if I say I'm willing to wait? If you don't come back to China in the future, I will arrange everything and go abroad to find you." Ying Ran still couldn't help struggling.
Sugao shook his head firmly: "Yoran, all this is too far away! I don't want to look forward to things that are too far away, nor do I want to think about whether you can do it. Maybe tomorrow you will regret all the promises you made to me tonight. So, don't put too many heavy shackles on yourself. Feelings are actually not that important. No one can't get over not being able to be with someone."
"Okay." Jianguo slowly stood up and smiled gently at Yingran, "I should go now. Don't think too much. Get a good night's sleep tonight. Tomorrow will be a new beginning."
"No, sister!" Ying Ran, who had completely collapsed, let out a heart-wrenching cry, and tears kept falling.
He also stood up quickly, and looked for Sugao's wrist eagerly like a drowning man trying to grab a lifeline, but she dodged him.
"Yingran, let's stop here, okay? Don't come any closer." Sugao made a stop gesture.
Yingran unconsciously stopped trying to catch up.
Sugao once again tried to force a smile: "Goodbye!"
After saying that, he left quickly without looking back.
Don't leave any chance for Yingran.
.......
Back in the dormitory, Yuan Li, who was still awake, saw Jianguo coming back with a tired face and hurriedly asked, "What happened between you and Yingran?"
Sugao didn't hide anything and told everything.
Yuan Li didn't know how to react, and was left dumbfounded. After opening and closing her lips, she blurted out, "You are really cruel!"
In the past, Suga would also ruthlessly reject others, but this was the first time he did it in such a hurtful way.
Jianguo smiled silently, with helplessness and pain flashing in his eyes. Then he asked, "What can I do? Can I nod and agree so impulsively?"
cannot!
Yuanli shook his head woodenly.
Although everything that Sugao and Yingran said was very hurtful, it was the reality that they had to face.
Even if we could be together regardless of the outcome, and not care how long we could love each other, as long as we could have loved each other... what was the point? Jianguo would be going abroad soon.
And Sugao is not idle and has nothing to do, so she doesn't just have a relationship to kill time. She has a lot of plans.
So, since we know it won't last long, maybe there's really no need to waste time going crazy.
They are not naive teenage girls.
They all have dreams to fulfill.
Yuanli suddenly felt fortunate that Zhan Jing was not from the entertainment industry, otherwise, her directness would cause many concerns.
Thinking of this, Yuanli didn't dare to ask too much.
Let Sugao take it easy.
She also felt bad.
I've known her for so many years, but this is the first time I see her, and she feels so tired and powerless.
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