Chapter 25
The damp and stuffy attic, devoid of sunlight year-round, had a dark view and a faint musty smell.
Xu Qingzhou carried a bowl of congee piled with some side dishes and gently pushed open the door to enter. He saw that his grandmother, who had been lying on the sickbed, had now sat up and was facing away from the door, seemingly eating something with her head down.
Xu Qingzhou's heart skipped a beat, his eyes overflowed with joy, and he couldn't help but exclaim:
"grandmother."
Grandma turned her head, food crumbs still clinging to the corners of her mouth, and smiled at Xu Qingzhou:
"Sweetie, do you want some?"
After saying that, he handed a piece of food that he had chewed into a mess to Xu Qingzhou.
For some reason, Xu Qingzhou felt an inexplicable sense of unease as he looked at this scene.
However, her grandmother still looked at her and smiled, gesturing for her to continue.
Xu Qingzhou hesitated, put down her chopsticks, and reached out to take the object. The next moment, she saw the object rapidly deform. Xu Qingzhou watched as the blurry tofu-like object quickly transformed into a pink, brain-like structure in her hand.
At the same time, several words appeared on the surface of the "brain"—Xu Qingzhou's Brain.
Xu Qingzhou was startled and looked up to see that her grandmother, who had been radiant and smiling, had suddenly transformed into a zombie, its mouth wide open and its arms outstretched as it lunged at her.
Xu Qingzhou was literally startled awake.
I suddenly sat up from my cot, my back covered in a cold sweat.
With a throbbing headache, Xu Qingzhou supported his head with both hands, closed his eyes, and gently shook it before raising his head again to look around.
Fortunately, it was still her small rented room.
I hadn't dreamt of my grandmother in a long time, but when I suddenly did, it was in such a bizarre and terrifying way.
Xu Qingzhou sighed softly, lifted the covers to get out of bed, and as she put on her slippers, she seemed to remember something and suddenly paused.
She stared at the desk for two seconds, then walked over—
Sure enough, before he could finish the Chinese exam, his English exam was also completely blank.
"..."
Why did she go to sleep before finishing her writing?
However... she remembered that at the time, she clearly wanted to lie on her desk for a while before getting up to continue writing.
How come I'm sleeping on the floor again when I open my eyes?
Xu Qingzhou subconsciously looked at Chi Jun on the bed.
The next moment, he shook his head: Impossible.
I glanced at the wall clock—5:50!
Xu Qingzhou was startled. Without time to dwell on it, she quickly grabbed the steamed buns and other ingredients she had prepared the night before and hurried down to the corridor to prepare Chi Jun's three meals a day.
How did I manage to make up my bed and go to sleep in that dazed state last night?
Xu Qingzhou was completely baffled. While peeling potatoes, he suddenly remembered that strange dream—
Could it be that a part of her memory was actually eaten away by a zombie?
"..."
Xu Qingzhou slapped his forehead.
absurd.
*
Because of the tight schedule, Xu Qingzhou was in a flurry of activity that morning, inevitably causing a lot of minor disturbances.
Chi Jun was in a daze, only vaguely remembering that Xu Qingzhou seemed to be in a hurry early in the morning. However, when he couldn't sleep and sat up in bed, Xu Qingzhou was nowhere to be seen in the room.
Chi Jun grabbed a handful of hair and, still feeling groggy, got out of bed.
I was about to grab the toothbrush and teacup from the windowsill when I took two steps forward and almost tripped.
Chi Jun turned around.
The makeshift bed, which hadn't been tidied up yet, lay forlornly on the ground, a testament to the chaos and turmoil Xu Qingzhou had experienced that morning.
Chi Jun stared at the futon on the floor for a few seconds, then ignored it.
He took a few steps, then paused, frowned, and turned back.
So when the male ghost swaggered in, he saw Chi Jun squatting on the floor, diligently tidying up the bedding.
"Hey, when did our Jun-ge become so diligent?"
Chi Jun glanced at him.
"Why are you here?"
The male ghost floated in front of him: "I was just worried that I would be too busy with those guys during the day, so I came to see you, my friend, in advance."
Chi Jun didn't even look up, and just chuckled.
"Thank you so much for remembering me."
The male ghost waved his hand and said, "No problem, no problem."
After saying that, he took two steps this way and then drifted a few meters to the other side, his eyes fixed on Chi Jun, as if he had discovered something strange, and he was making clicking noises.
Chi Jun rolled his eyes at him speechlessly.
What's wrong with you now?
The male ghost chuckled: "Brother Jun, to be honest, I've noticed that you seem... to be quite cold on the outside but warm on the inside."
Chi Jun paused in his folding of cardboard boxes and looked up at him.
The male ghost crossed his arms, nodded his chin at the cardboard box, and explained, "I always thought you were a cold and heartless person. You never helped the little mute boy when he was working himself to the bone, and you only knew how to eat, drink, and have fun all day long. But who would have thought that you would actually let the little mute boy sleep in your bed and sleep on the floor yourself?"
"If I hadn't suddenly bumped into you," the male ghost chuckled ambiguously, "I really would have misunderstood you~"
He sincerely apologized, but to his surprise, Chi Jun just looked at him with a strange smile.
Finally, he casually tossed his bedding behind the door, clapped his hands, and said:
"You're not blaming anyone. Xu Qingzhou slept on this makeshift bed on the floor."
"?"
"No," the male ghost said, still somewhat incredulous, as he followed Chi Jun, who was brushing his teeth in the hallway with toothpaste in hand. "It really is the little mute sleeping on the floor?"
"Um."
"You sleep in the bed?"
With a mouthful of foam, Chi Jun turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow: "Otherwise?"
"..."
Okay, actually, looking at it this way, it seems to fit Chi Jun's character even better.
The male ghost then became unusually silent.
Even after Chi Jun finished washing up and started eating breakfast, he remained silent, frowning as if deep in thought.
Chi Jun found it funny.
"What are you thinking about, getting so absorbed in it?"
The male ghost shook his head, sighed, stared at Chi Jun for a while, and then suddenly asked, "Brother Jun, have you ever heard of a term called 'unworthy feeling'?"
Feelings of unworthiness.
Chi Jun silently repeated the word, and could roughly guess its meaning from the literal meaning.
Sure enough, the male ghost explained: "The feeling of unworthiness refers to feeling that you are not worthy of having or enjoying happiness, joy, and success. It usually stems from the denial of others, self-doubt and criticism, and deep inferiority."
After saying that, the male ghost said in a deep voice, "I think the little mute must have a strong sense of unworthiness."
Chi Jun stirred the porridge in his bowl, and the image of that night when he gave Xu Qingzhou a desk lamp involuntarily surfaced in his mind. Even though he explained that he couldn't sleep with the light on at night, Xu Qingzhou still turned his head away and secretly curled the corners of his mouth.
He frowned but remained silent.
"Think about it, she can't speak, her parents are dead, she lives with her uncle and aunt, and she's beaten and scolded every few days. They scold her for not being able to do this or that, and they even say she's a jinx who killed her parents. Do you think the little mute girl wouldn't feel inferior?"
The male ghost thought for a moment, then sighed.
"Actually, once you develop this kind of personality, it's hard to be happy in this life. Because of low self-esteem, you always try to please others, making you easily deceived and bullied. If someone gives you even the smallest favor, you'd want to give them your whole heart..."
“So,” the male ghost stroked his non-existent beard and sighed, “what seems like a small personality issue actually affects one’s entire life.”
After saying that, he glanced sideways at Chi Jun, maintaining the posture of stroking his beard with one hand and putting the other behind his back.
"Hey, Jun-ge, do I look like a wise man right now?"
As she spoke, she raised her eyebrows wildly at Chi Jun.
Chi Jun: "..."
He raised his eyebrows and continued eating with his head down.
The male ghost persisted, saying, "Oh, doesn't it look like it? Doesn't it look like it?"
With that, she blew the bowl in front of Chi Jun away in one breath, forcing him to give an evaluation.
Chi Jun, exasperated by his antics, could only respond with drooping eyelids:
"picture."
Like someone with intellectual disabilities.
*
Even though he rushed to school in the morning and entered the classroom just as the bell rang, he wasn't late. However, amidst the chaotic sounds of morning reading, Xu Qingzhou was still caught red-handed by the English teacher for secretly doing his homework.
The English teacher was a young woman. When she saw that Xu Qingzhou hadn't even finished an English test paper last night, she didn't say anything in public, but she frowned slightly and tapped her fingers on the test paper twice.
Xu Qingzhou blushed with embarrassment after being knocked on the head. He awkwardly put away his test paper and took out his English book.
For the rest of the day, the scene of making eye contact with the English teacher during morning reading kept replaying in Xu Qingzhou's mind, making her too embarrassed to look up during English class.
Around 2 p.m., rain began to fall from the gloomy sky, and a strong wind picked up, blowing wet, withered leaves all over the ground.
Xu Qingzhou felt fine in the classroom; it wasn't too cold.
As I stepped out of the classroom through the back door after school, I was shivered by the damp, cold wind. I couldn't help but tighten the zipper of my school uniform and quicken my pace toward the cafeteria.
The supermarket where I work part-time in the evening doesn't seem to have recovered from the sudden drop in temperature and is still keeping the air conditioning on.
Standing in the fresh food section filled with ice, Xu Qingzhou felt the chill coming from all directions, penetrating straight into his skin. When he washed his hands after handling the fish, he couldn't help but sneeze several times in a row.
Aunt Xu glanced back at her:
"Wear more clothes, it will get colder in the next few days."
Xu Qingzhou nodded and rubbed his cold hands.
Finally, it was time to leave work. She quickly took off her clothes, changed, and walked out with her backpack, eager to get back to her warm little rented room.
Unexpectedly, after taking only two steps, Aunt Xu called out to him:
"Xiao Xu, wait for me."
Xu Qingzhou turned his head.
Aunt Xu put on her coat and picked up her bag as she walked out, saying, "I'll take you home."
In the past, Xu Qingzhou would have immediately declined, feeling embarrassed, since it was so late and everyone wanted to get home as soon as possible.
But recalling how Aunt Xu had honked her electric scooter horn repeatedly behind her last night, Xu Qingzhou thought carefully about the reasons behind it and realized it was impossible not to be afraid.
She didn't refuse again.
Thank you, Aunt Xu.
Just five minutes later, sitting on the back of the electric scooter, with the wind whistling against her, Xu Qingzhou curled up like a little shrimp and felt... even colder.
Fortunately, riding an electric bike is fast, and Qingzhou arrived at the rental compound in about ten minutes.
As expected, Chi Jun has not returned yet.
As soon as Xu Qingzhou entered, he closed all the doors and windows and poured himself a cup of hot water to warm himself up.
After a quick wash, I sat down at my small desk, wrapped in a blanket, ready to study, when Chi Jun returned.
He was only wearing a T-shirt and a light gray jacket on his upper body. Xu Qingzhou felt cold just by looking at him. She remembered that she had drunk some hot water earlier, which was quite effective.
So she poured a glass for Chi Junye and handed it to him.
Chi Jun glanced at her and said, "Thank you."
Xu Qingzhou shook his head.
After thinking for a moment, I took out a pen and paper from my pocket and wrote: "It's getting colder. Tomorrow's the weekend, I'll go buy you a sweater."
After reading it, Chi Jun didn't know what he was thinking. He didn't say anything and just stared at her.
Xu Qingzhou looked completely bewildered by the stare. He blinked repeatedly, then touched his face and carefully wiped the corner of his mouth.
Chi Jun remained silent.
Xu Qingzhou hesitated for a moment, just about to write down what was wrong on the paper.
Chi Jun suddenly tilted his head, squinted at her, and said, "Xu Qingzhou, has anyone ever said that you are a very good person?"
"?"
What's going on with this sudden praise...?
Xu Qingzhou was taken aback, but still felt a little embarrassed by the compliment. Replying with "no" seemed a bit off, while replying with "yes" seemed even stranger…
Just as she was feeling awkward and at a loss for words, Chi Jun glanced at the card in her hand and said again:
"Your handwriting is also very beautiful."
"..."
If the previous compliment felt like a genuine praise after being touched by someone's emotions, then two consecutive compliments felt somewhat... contrived.
For some reason, a phrase suddenly popped into Xu Qingzhou's mind: "Unsolicited kindness is either a trick or a theft."
Xu Qingzhou is a very empathetic person who can't stand seeing others embarrassed.
Thinking that Chi Jun had never spoken to her so indirectly and tactfully before, she pondered for a moment, then cautiously guessed on the paper what Chi Jun wanted her help with—
Do you want me to write you a love letter?
"..."
Chi Jun stared at Xu Qingzhou in silence for a long time, then suddenly chuckled and denied it in a flat tone:
No, I want you to sleep in the bed.
"?"
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