Don't love me anymore
At 3:17 in the morning, Si Qi was awakened by a burst of suppressed sobbing.
Outside, the rain poured down like countless tiny hammer blows on the glass. He opened his eyes and found the other side of the bed empty, the quilt tossed to the side. Sobbing came from the bathroom, a thin ray of light peeking from under the crack in the door.
"Shao Wei?" Si Qi propped himself up, his voice still filled with sleepiness.
There was no response, only intermittent sobbing. Si Qi was completely awake. He threw back the quilt and stepped barefoot on the cold floor. He walked to the bathroom door and knocked gently: "Shao Wei, open the door."
After a few seconds of silence, there was the sound of a faucet turning on. The water washed away the sobs, but Si Qi knew it was not an illusion. He knocked on the door again, this time with more force: "I will count to three. If you don't open the door, I will break it open. One, two--"
The door lock clicked open. Si Qi pushed the door open, and the scene before him made his heart tighten.
Shao Wei curled up in the bathtub, wearing only a white shirt—Si Qi's own, soaked and translucent—that clung to his body. Fresh scratches marked his wrists, blood seeping out and creating pale pink stains in the tub. What stung Si Qi most was his expression—his usually calm face was now tear-stained, his eyes red and swollen, his lips bleeding from self-bite.
"Wei Wei Shao..." Si Qi knelt on one knee beside the bathtub and reached out to touch him, but was avoided.
"Don't come over here." Shao Wei's voice was hoarse. "It's dirty."
Si Qi's hand hung in mid-air, his chest feeling like it had been seared by a red-hot iron. He withdrew his hand, but instead of giving up, he simply turned on the faucet. The water stopped abruptly, leaving only the mingling sounds of their breathing and the patter of rain outside the window.
"Look at me." Si Qi said, his voice gentler than he had imagined.
Shao Wei didn't look up, his wet black hair falling down to cover his eyes. Water droplets dripped down the ends of his hair, leaving dark marks on his shirt. Si Qi could see his frail body trembling slightly, like a puppet on a string that could fall apart at any moment.
"Please..." Shao Wei's voice was as light as a feather, "Don't look... Go away..."
Si Qi didn't leave. He stepped directly into the bathtub, ignoring the fact that his pajamas were soaking wet, and pulled Shao Wei into his arms. Shao Wei froze for a moment, then began to struggle, but Si Qi held him tighter.
"Let me go!" Shao Wei suddenly burst out, his voice breaking, "You don't understand... I... I'm not worthy..."
"I have the final say on whether it's worth it or not." Si Qi whispered in his ear, and stroked the back of his wet head with one hand.
Shao Wei's struggles gradually weakened, replaced by violent tremors. His knuckles turned white as he clutched the front of Si Qi's pajamas. He rested his forehead on Si Qi's shoulder and let out a gasp that was almost a sob.
"Don't love me anymore..." Shao Wei's voice was muffled on Si Qi's shoulder, "Si Qi... please... don't love me anymore..."
These words were like a blunt knife, slowly and deeply piercing Si Qi's heart. He tightened his arms and hugged Shao Wei even tighter, as if to rub him into his body.
"It's too late." Si Qi kissed the top of his damp head. "I've already fallen in love with you. I can't take it back."
Shao Wei trembled violently in his arms, then completely collapsed. He grabbed Si Qi's pajamas and cried like a lost child, all his inhibitions and restraints crumbling at this moment. Si Qi just held him, one hand gently patting his back, like soothing a frightened animal.
"It's okay..." Si Qi coaxed in a low voice, "It's okay to cry..."
After an unknown amount of time, Shao Wei's cries gradually weakened, turning into intermittent sobs. Si Qi felt the body in his arms grow heavier and heavier, knowing that he was exhausted. He carefully picked up Shao Wei, walked out of the bathroom, and laid him on the bed.
"Don't move." Si Qi said softly and turned to get the medicine box.
When he returned, Shao Wei was curled up in a ball, his wet shirt still clinging to his body, his lips pale. Si Qi put down the medicine box, sat down beside the bed, and gently unbuttoned the shirt. Shao Wei didn't resist, but simply closed his eyes, as if ashamed to face Si Qi's gaze.
The shirt slipped off, revealing the pale skin underneath and more scars - not just the new wounds on the wrists, but also the old scabbed wounds on the chest and abdomen. The most shocking thing was the back - it was covered with crisscrossing scars, some of which were white, obviously from many years ago.
Si Qi's fingers gently stroked the scars, his chest feeling like a huge rock was pressing down on him. He picked up a towel and carefully wiped the water off Shao Wei's body, then began to treat the wound on his wrist.
"Who did this?" he asked in a low voice, gently wiping the edge of the wound with a cotton swab dipped in disinfectant.
Shao Wei's eyelashes trembled, but he did not answer.
"Shao Wei." Si Qi stopped and raised his chin. "Who caused these old injuries?"
In the dim light, Shao Wei's eyes took on a nearly transparent gray, like mist that could dissipate at any moment. He shook his head slightly, his voice hoarse, "It doesn't matter anymore..."
"It's important." Si Qi insisted, "Tell me."
Silence stretched between them. The sound of rain filled the gap, and water droplets meandered down the window glass like countless tiny tears. Just when Si Qi thought Shao Wei would not answer, he spoke.
"At fourteen... my Alpha traits began to become apparent..." Shao Wei's voice was soft, as if he was telling someone else's story. "The family wasn't satisfied... they wanted an Omega heir..."
Siqi's fingers unconsciously tightened, deforming the sterile cotton pad. He forced himself to relax and continued to gently treat the wound.
"After discovering I was an Alpha... they tried various methods to 'correct' me." Shao Wei's gaze fell on the distance. "Drugs, hypnosis... and finally, punishment. These... were part of the punishment."
Every word pierced Siqi's heart like a nail. He remembered Shao Wei's shirt, always buttoned to the top, his habit of never bathing with anyone, and the expression on his face when he said, "Life is boring." All the clues finally connected—this wasn't simple depression, but the despair of a soul long tortured.
"What happened next?" Si Qi asked, his voice so low that it was almost dangerous.
"Later... I learned to hide." Shao Wei gently stroked the scar on his wrist, "Pretending to be a qualified Alpha... until I met you."
Si Qi put down the cotton swab and held Shao Wei's face with both hands: "Why didn't you tell me?"
A trace of bitterness flashed in Shao Wei's eyes. "Tell you what? Tell you that I'm an Alpha who even my own family despises? Tell you how much pain is hidden beneath these scars?" He tried to break free. "Si Qi... don't look at me like that... I don't need pity."
"It's not pity." Si Qi pulled him into his arms and hugged him tightly, "It's anger, it's heartache, it's... love."
Shao Wei froze in his arms, as if he didn't understand the word. Si Qi kissed the top of his head, feeling his body gradually relax.
"From now on," Si Qi promised in a low voice, "no one can hurt you again. Including me."
He carefully bandaged Shao Wei's wrist, then brought him some dry pajamas to change into. Shao Wei was very quiet throughout the whole process, letting Si Qi do whatever he wanted like an obedient child. When Si Qi was about to get up and leave, Shao Wei suddenly grabbed his wrist.
"Why..." Shao Wei's voice was so soft that it was almost inaudible. "Why me? You have so many choices..."
Si Qi sat back down on the bed, his fingers gently combing through Shao Wei's hair. "Remember the first time we met? At the university business competition."
Shao Wei nodded slightly, a glimmer in his eyes.
"I noticed you then." Si Qi smiled. "Everyone was crowding around the judges, trying to get close to them, but you were the only one standing quietly in the corner, with a gleam of defiance in your eyes."
Shao Wei's eyelashes trembled, as if he didn't expect Si Qi to remember such details.
"Later, at every business event, I could always spot you in the crowd." Si Qi continued, "You always stood in the most inconspicuous corner, yet you outshone everyone else present."
A tear rolled down Shao Wei's eye, and Si Qi wiped it away gently with his thumb.
"But..." Shao Wei's voice broke, "I'm a broken Alpha... No one will love me..."
"I love you." Si Qi interrupted him, "Not despite your scars, but with these scars."
Shao Wei's breathing paused for a moment, and then he suddenly threw himself into Si Qi's arms, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. Si Qi felt the warmth and dampness on his shoulders and knew he was crying again. This time, he didn't try to comfort him, but simply hugged Shao Wei and let him cry his heart out.
The sound of rain gradually subsided, and the sky outside the window turned pale. Shao Wei's sobbing gradually subsided, but his hands were still tightly grasping Si Qi's clothes, as if he was afraid that he would disappear if he let go.
"Sleep for a while." Si Qi said softly, wanting him to lie down.
Shao Wei shook his head, his voice muffled over Si Qi's shoulder: "...Don't go."
"I won't leave." Si Qi promised, and simply lay down, holding Shao Wei in his arms, "I'm not going anywhere."
Shao Wei's head rested on his chest, and his breathing gradually became steady. Si Qi thought he had fallen asleep, and was about to close his eyes to rest, when he heard a faint voice:
"...I'm scared."
Si Qi's heart tightened: "What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid... I'll find this was all a dream when I wake up." Shao Wei's voice was so soft it sounded like a sigh. "I'm afraid... you'll regret it."
Si Qi lifted his chin and looked him straight in the eyes: "Look at me, Shao Wei. This is not a dream, and I won't regret it. You can't drive me away, understand?"
Uncertainty flickered in Shao Wei's eyes, but he finally nodded slightly. Si Qi kissed his forehead and pulled him into his arms again.
"Go to sleep." Si Qi whispered, "I'm right here."
When the sun finally broke through the clouds and shone into the bedroom, Si Qi was still awake. Shao Wei in his arms had already fallen asleep, breathing evenly, his brow relaxed, as if he had been relieved of years of burden. Si Qi gently stroked the bandage on his wrist, feeling an unprecedented desire to protect him.
He knew the road ahead was long—the Shao family's obstruction, society's prejudice, and Shao Wei's inner scars wouldn't be resolved overnight. But at this moment, the Alpha in his arms, who had finally let down his guard, made him believe it was all worth it.
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