【Visitors and Old Photos】
Summer in the south of France once again embraced the town with undeniable enthusiasm. The sun was blazing, the cicadas were chirping, and even the wind carried the rich, intoxicating fragrance of lavender fields soaked in the sun.
The shutters of the cabin were always half-closed, blocking out most of the direct heat and leaving the room cool and quiet. Shao Wei grew increasingly lazy, like a cat escaping the summer heat, often occupying the most airy and cool corner of the living room, where he could while away an entire afternoon with a book and a glass of ice water. Sometimes the book would slip to the floor, and he would lean on the armrest of the sofa, breathing evenly as he fell into sleep.
Si Qi seemed to have completely adapted to the Mediterranean heat. He still maintained his morning exercise routine, often returning with his shirt drenched in sweat but still feeling refreshed. He even learned from old Jeannot to take a short nap during the hottest part of the day, calling it "following the flow of time."
Life is like being immersed in lukewarm water, comfortable, stable, and even a little... too peaceful.
Until Siqi was tidying up his study one day when he found an old suitcase that had been forgotten in a corner. It was the suitcase they had brought with them when they first arrived, and it contained mostly emergency clothes and sundries. Later, when their lives settled down and they bought new things, the suitcase was stuffed behind the bookshelf.
A thin layer of dust settled on the box. Si Qi dragged it out, opened it, and planned to clean it and perhaps throw it away.
On top were some of his old, insignificant documents, and below that were a few of Shao Wei's old clothes, mostly dull-colored, stereotypical shirts and trousers, carrying a cold aura of the "Shao Wei" of the past.
Si Qi picked up a black shirt. The fabric was fine, yet lifeless. He could almost imagine Shao Wei wearing it, sitting expressionless in the Si family's empty, cold living room, or buried in a pile of boring documents. His heart tightened slightly, and he subconsciously wanted to get rid of these old things once and for all.
Just as he was about to pack his clothes, his fingertips touched a piece of clothing of different texture that was stacked lower down.
He gently pulled it out.
It was a sweater. A well-worn, smoky-gray cashmere sweater, the cuffs even slightly pilling, but it had been washed clean and exuded a faint, cool scent of cedar. Even after so long, even after being pressed to the bottom of a suitcase, the faint pheromone scent of Shao Wei seemed to have seeped deep into the fibers.
Si Qi was stunned.
He recognized the sweater.
It was the sweater Shao Wei used to wear. When he was most anxious and almost out of control during his susceptible period, it was this old sweater, still imbued with Shao Wei's scent, that gave him his first, clumsy comfort.
Later, Shao Wei recovered and had more comfortable and soft new clothes. I don’t know when this old sweater was put away and never worn again.
Si Qi stood there holding the old sweater, feeling a mix of emotions, as if he had accidentally touched upon a soft secret sealed away by time.
He hesitated, and instead of throwing it into the bag to be disposed of, he took it and walked out of the study.
Shao Wei was still asleep on the sofa, his face turned sideways, his breathing shallow. His hair, damp with sweat, clung to his smooth skin. Sunlight filtered through the slits in the blinds, casting several bright streaks of light on him, in which tiny particles of dust drifted slowly.
Si Qi walked over lightly and squatted beside the sofa.
He didn't wake Shao Wei, but just quietly watched his sleeping face. Shao Wei now, wearing a soft linen shirt, with a rosy complexion and a relaxed expression, was completely different from the Shao Wei in the past, who wore a crisp black shirt and had a lingering trace of fatigue and paleness between his brows.
Time and the sunshine in southern France seem to have quietly melted away the cold past.
Si Qi's gaze fell back on the old sweater in his hand. For some unknown reason, he very slowly and carefully placed the sweater over Shao Wei, as if completing a silent ritual.
The soft touch of wool falls on the skin, bringing with it a long-lost, familiar coolness and scent.
Shao Wei, in his sleep, seemed to sense something and shifted unconsciously, his nostrils twitching imperceptibly as if he had smelled something. He didn't wake, but his brows relaxed slightly, and he slumped down on the sofa, his cheek unconsciously rubbing against the soft collar of his sweater, like a child who had found a familiar comfort.
Si Qi's heart seemed to be suddenly poked in the softest part by this subtle movement, and the bitterness and love were like warm tides, instantly drowning him.
It turns out that some traces do not need to be completely removed.
They are just carefully collected and can still bring peace of mind and warmth across time at some unexpected moment.
He didn't take the sweater away, but let it gently cover Shao Wei, then got up and went to do his own thing.
That night, when Shao Wei woke up, he didn't express any surprise at the extra sweater on his body. He just picked it up silently, looked at it, and then folded it very naturally and placed it on the corner of the sofa, as if it had always been there.
In the days that followed, that old sweater would often appear on the sofa, sometimes used by Shao Wei to cover his legs, sometimes simply draped there. It became a silent and natural presence in the home, like those old memories, no longer causing pain, but quietly telling a story of its origins.
On a summer night, the oppressive heat gradually subsided. Si Qi set up a telescope in the yard. It was a new hobby of his. The town had little light pollution, and the night sky was clear, making it an ideal spot for stargazing.
Shao Wei was not very interested in this, but he would usually move a chair and sit next to Si Qi to accompany him, while he would read a book or just look up at the deep night sky dotted with diamond-like stars in a daze.
"I can see Jupiter. The stripes are very clear." Si Qi adjusted the focus, his voice excited, like a child who had discovered a treasure. "Those small dots of light nearby must be its satellites."
Upon hearing this, Shao Wei put down his book and walked over to the telescope. Si Qi made way for him and guided him to look.
Shao Wei bent down, his icy blue eyes close to the eyepiece. After a moment's observation, he straightened up and nodded. "Very bright."
Si Qi liked to see him occasionally become curious and enthusiastically search for Saturn's rings: "Wait until I find Saturn, that one is more beautiful..."
At this moment, a meteor with a bright trail silently streaked across the deep blue night sky and disappeared in an instant.
"Meteor!" Si Qi suddenly looked up and exclaimed subconsciously.
Shao Wei also raised his head and looked in the direction where the meteor disappeared. The stars in the sky were reflected in his ice-blue eyes, making them look particularly deep.
"Make a wish!" Si Qi smiled and touched his arm, with a hint of joking. He himself didn't believe in these things, but he felt that this was a kind of ritual that lovers should have.
Shao Wei turned his head and looked at him in the dim starlight, his eyes calm and serious: "No."
"Why?" Si Qi raised his eyebrows.
Shao Wei's gaze returned to the vast starry sky. His voice was soft, yet clearly blended into the summer night breeze: "I have everything I wanted."
Si Qi's smile slowly froze on his face, his heart seemed to be gently clenched by these words, and then gently loosened, leaving behind an incomparable fullness and calmness of emotion.
He reached out and held Shao Wei's slightly cold hand tightly, interlocking their fingers.
"Yeah." He murmured in agreement, no longer looking at the starry sky, but only looking at the person beside him, "I have everything."
Under the night sky, the two stood side by side, no longer speaking. In the distance came the faint chirping of insects and the rustling of grape leaves in the wind.
Those scars of the past, like shooting stars in the night sky, streaked across the sky, leaving traces of brilliance or pain, but eventually sank into the endless darkness. What they possessed now was the warmth of their palms, the eternal and peaceful stars above, this small room lit with warm lights, and all the ordinary yet precious daily moments within it, etched with traces of memory.
Si Qi thought, this is the best life.
There are the soft traces of an old sweater and the eternal brilliance of the stars.
And they found their own worldly life among the traces and stars.
After a few nights of rain, autumn in southern France completely dispelled the lingering heat of late summer. The air became clear and dry, and the sky a washed-out blue. The vineyards entered their post-harvest rest period, and the branches and leaves began to turn golden and crimson, resembling a richly colored oil painting from afar.
The cabin's fireplace was back in use, the dry pine wood crackling softly as it burned, a comforting warmth filling the air all day. Si Qi began repairing the fence and patio flooring, somewhat damaged by the summer sun and rain, and the tinkling of hammers became the new background sound in the yard. Shao Wei preferred to stay indoors, sometimes reading, sometimes amusing himself by trying to mold small, shapeless objects with the clay Si Qi had bought at the market.
Life is like a steadily flowing stream, with occasional small ripples, but always moving in the predetermined direction.
That afternoon, Si Qi was struggling with a piece of unruly wood when he heard a slightly hesitant sound of a car engine outside the fence, followed by the sound of a car door opening and closing.
There were not many strangers coming and going in the town. Si Qi stopped what he was doing and raised his head vigilantly.
A figure wearing a khaki windbreaker and dragging a small suitcase stood outside the fence, looking down at a piece of paper in his hand, then looking up to compare it with the house number. He was an Asian man in his thirties, wearing gold-rimmed glasses. He had a gentle demeanor, but also carried the fatigue of a long journey.
Siqi's brow furrowed slightly. He didn't recall making any appointments with visitors, and few Asians in town came directly here.
The man seemed to confirm the address and raised his head, meeting Si Qi's scrutinizing gaze. He was stunned for a moment, then a polite but somewhat awkward smile appeared on his face. He tentatively asked in slightly accented Chinese, "Excuse me...are you Mr. Si Qi?"
Si Qi didn't answer immediately. He simply put down his tools, slowly stood up, and looked at the other person through the fence. His pheromones subtly subsided, and he felt an invisible sense of oppression. "Who are you?"
"I'm very sorry to bother you." The man pushed up his glasses, pulled out a business card from his pocket, and handed it over through the fence. "My name is Shen Qing, and I'm an independent journalist. I came here this time to... to visit Mr. Shao."
When this stranger said Shao Wei's name, Si Qi's eyes instantly turned cold. He didn't take the business card, his eyes sharp as a knife: "What do you want from him?"
Shen Qing seemed to be intimidated by Si Qi's suddenly cold attitude. His hand holding the business card froze in mid-air, and the smile on his face became even more awkward: "Don't get me wrong. I have no ill intentions. It's just... I have been conducting an independent investigation on the 'Twin Project' and have collected a lot of information. I recently heard that Mr. Shao might be recuperating here... I thought, maybe he would be willing..."
"He doesn't want to." Si Qi interrupted him firmly, his voice leaving no room for maneuver. "What happened in the past is over. We don't want to be disturbed anymore. Please leave."
Shen Qing didn't expect the other party to refuse so bluntly. He was speechless for a moment, and an anxious look appeared on his face: "Mr. Si, please listen to me! I may know more about the inside story than you can imagine! Including some truths that were covered up back then, and... and some real records and videos of your childhood! I think Mr. Shao has the right to know..."
"I said, leave." Si Qi's voice sank, and the oppressive feeling of the top Alpha around him was no longer concealed, spreading like a substance, making Shen Qing outside the fence turn pale and subconsciously take half a step back.
Just then, the door of the cabin creaked open.
Shao Wei stood at the door, wearing his old smoky-gray sweater, as if startled by the noise outside. He was holding an unformed clay bowl in his hand, his eyes calmly looking out the fence, landing on the strange visitor.
When Shen Qing saw Shao Wei, his eyes suddenly lit up, as if he saw hope, and he hurriedly said: "Mr. Shao! Excuse me for interrupting! I am Shen Qing, I..."
Shao Wei's gaze stayed on his face for less than two seconds, without any emotion in his ice-blue eyes. Then he turned to Si Qi, tilted his head slightly, with a hint of inquiry.
Si Qi immediately walked up to him, standing half a meter in front of him in a protective posture, and whispered, "It's okay, he's just someone who's going the wrong way. I'll let him go right away."
Shen Qing was anxious and raised his voice: "Mr. Shao! I have a photo of you in the institute garden when you were little! And a very short video! Don't you want to see it?!"
The word "garden" was like a fine needle, which pricked Shao Wei's nerves ever so slightly. His eyelashes trembled almost imperceptibly.
Si Qi keenly noticed Shao Wei's subtle reaction, and his impatience and anger instantly rose. He turned his head abruptly and looked at Shen Qing with a frighteningly cold look: "I'll say this one last time, get out."
The powerful, angry pheromone pressure made Shen Qing almost breathless. His face turned completely pale, and cold sweat oozed from his forehead. He opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but under Si Qi's murderous gaze, he finally closed it dejectedly, dragging his suitcase, and staggered towards the rental car parked on the side of the road.
The sound of the engine faded away, and silence returned outside the fence.
Si Qi's tense body finally relaxed. He turned around, looked carefully at Shao Wei's face, and said in a slow tone, "Are you okay? Are you scared?"
Shao Wei shook his head, but his eyes looked over Si Qi's shoulder in the direction where the car disappeared. His eyes were a little empty, as if he was trying hard to recall something, or as if he was simply letting go.
Si Qi's heart sank slightly. He held Shao Wei's slightly cold hand, led him into the house, pressed him onto the sofa by the fireplace, and poured him a cup of hot water.
"Don't take that person's words to heart." Si Qi squatted in front of him, looking at his expressionless face, his tone carrying a barely perceptible nervousness, "That's all in the past, it doesn't matter anymore."
Shao Wei held the warm cup of water, the steam blurring his delicate jawline. He was silent for a long time, so long that Si Qi thought he would never speak again. Only then did he whisper three words:
"garden……?"
Si Qi's heart suddenly clenched. He remembered the so-called "garden." It was merely a palm-sized experimental field within the institute's high walls, a simulated natural environment. It was one of the few places they had access to "green" during their boring and depressing childhood. But even there, it was heavily monitored, and every "outing" was accompanied by data and observation.
Those memories are not good.
"Well, there is a small garden." Si Qi tried his best to make his voice sound calm, "Remember? There seemed to be a few short trees in it, and a cement slide." He tried to guide Shao Wei to remember some neutral details.
Shao Wei's brow furrowed slightly, as if he were trying to salvage fragments from a fog. A hint of confusion flashed across his icy blue eyes, along with some... extremely subtle resistance, perhaps even unconscious.
"I can't remember clearly." Finally, he shook his head, lowered his eyes, and looked at the swaying water in the cup. "It seems... there was sunshine."
Si Qi breathed a sigh of relief, yet also felt a little distressed. He wished Shao Wei would never remember those details.
"I don't want to think about it anymore." He took the water cup from Shao Wei and held his hand. "It's all in the past."
He tried to divert Shao Wei's attention with warmth and touch.
However, the arrival of the uninvited guest was like a stone thrown into a calm lake. Although it quickly sank to the bottom, the ripples spread quietly.
Over the next few days, Shao Wei became even more silent than usual. He often sat alone by the fireplace, lost in thought, staring at the dancing flames, his book in hand for long stretches without turning a page. Sometimes, when Si Qi spoke to him, he would take a moment to respond.
Si Qi saw it all and was anxious. He regretted not throwing the reporter out directly, and was even more worried that those vague memories that were forcibly evoked would make Shao Wei depressed or even uncomfortable.
He became extremely cautious and tried all kinds of ways to make Shao Wei happy, taking him to a newly opened dessert shop in town, buying him more picture books and clay that might interest him, and even suggesting a short trip.
Committee Member Shao nodded and said "yes" to most of his suggestions, but that absent-minded silence still existed.
Until one evening three days later.
Si Qi was in the kitchen preparing dinner when Shao Wei suddenly walked in, holding his tablet. He rarely touched these electronic products.
Si Qi stopped cutting vegetables and looked at him.
Shao Wei handed the tablet to him. The screen lit up, revealing an encrypted email interface. The sender was Shen Qing.
Si Qi's face instantly darkened, a surge of anger rising to his head! How dare that person contact him privately?!
He suppressed his anger, took the tablet, and quickly scanned the email. Shen Qing's words were extremely sincere in the email, apologizing again for his previous rudeness and proving that he meant no harm. He did not mention interviews or digging into the past, but simply said that he had copied all the real images and photos he had collected of their childhood (not officially staged by the institute) to an encrypted external hard drive. He left the hard drive with the owner of the old cafe at the town entrance. If Committee Member Shao ever wanted to see it, he could pick it up at any time. If not, the cafe owner would dispose of it after a month.
At the end of the email, Shen Qing wrote, "I respect your choices and privacy. This information may be meaningless, or perhaps... it can fill in some gaps. The decision is entirely yours."
After reading it, Si Qi frowned and his first reaction was to delete the email immediately, then go to the cafe to get the damn hard drive back and throw it away.
But he raised his head and looked at Shao Wei.
Shao Wei was also looking at him. His ice-blue eyes no longer had the emptiness of the past few days, but instead held an extremely clear and calm inquiry.
He was waiting for Siqi's opinion, but his eyes revealed a calmness that showed he had already made a decision.
Si Qi understood instantly.
Shao Wei wasn't obsessed with the past. He was simply digesting it, thinking about it. And now, he had made a choice.
Si Qi took a deep breath, handed the tablet back to Shao Wei, and said in a dry voice: "Do you... want to go and see it?"
Shao Wei was silent for a moment, then nodded very slowly but firmly.
Si Qi's heart felt like it had been struck by something, a dull pain, but more of a sense of relief. He reached out and gently stroked Shao Wei's cheek: "Okay. I'll go with you."
The next day, they went to the coffee shop at the entrance of the town. The owner was a warm old man with a red nose. He had obviously been informed and smiled as he took out a small box wrapped in brown paper and handed it to them without asking any questions.
On the way home, Si Qi's palms sweated as he held the box, which seemed so light yet felt weighed down by a thousand pounds. He glanced at Shao Wei several times, but Shao Wei just calmly watched the passing scenery outside the car window, his profile revealing no emotion.
Back at the cabin, Si Qi placed the box on the table in the living room, like a time bomb.
Shao Wei walked over and unwrapped the brown paper, revealing a black portable hard drive. He picked up the hard drive, connected it to his tablet, and after hesitating for a few seconds on the screen, he clicked on the only folder.
Si Qi stood behind him, his heart beating a little faster.
There weren't many files in the folder, just a few dozen scanned old photos and a few short, shaky, blurry black-and-white videos.
Most of the photos were taken from cryptic angles, as if they were candid shots. One showed two skinny boys in oversized white clothes sitting side by side on a bench, their heads lowered, their expressions unclear, only their tiny whorls of hair visible. Another showed one boy cautiously reaching out to touch a wildflower in a so-called garden, while the other stood a little further away, warily gazing at the camera (the candid photographer). Another showed two people huddled in a corner, sharing a worn picture book, their heads pressed together, sunlight filtering down their soft hair.
The videos were even shorter. In one, two people clumsily juggled a ball, their movements stiff and almost unplayable, more like following some sort of instruction. In another, the older boy (Si Qi) lowered his head, seemingly being reprimanded for failing a test. Another boy (Shao Wei) quietly reached out, quickly hooked his finger, and then immediately retracted it...
There's no laughter, no playfulness. Every photo and video exudes a sense of oppression and surveillance. The eyes of the children in those images are often blank, timid, or prematurely wary.
But Siqi stared at the screen intently, his breathing becoming heavy.
These images were completely different from his tampered, implanted false memories! They were crude, blurry, yet incredibly real! They truly recorded those tiny figures, deprived of their childhood, struggling to survive between the cold instruments and the white walls.
He saw Shao Wei's icy blue eyes in the photo, so small yet already filled with a silence and forbearance that didn't suit his age. He saw the subtle gesture of secretly hooking her finger with his in the video, their only clumsy way of warming each other in their desperate situation.
The huge sorrow and heartache swept over Si Qi like a tsunami, making his eyes hot and his throat choked.
Shao Wei, however, was unusually calm. He silently flipped through the photos one by one, playing the video clip by clip, his icy blue eyes fixed intently on the two blurry children on the screen, as if he were watching someone else's story.
Only after watching the last video did he slowly put down the tablet and sit there silently for a long time without moving.
Si Qi hugged him gently from behind, buried his face in the crook of his neck, and said in a hoarse voice: "I'm sorry..." I'm sorry, I didn't protect you better at that time. I'm sorry, I forgot about you for so long.
Shao Wei's body moved slightly, and then he shook his head very lightly. He turned around, raised his head, looked at Si Qi's red eyes, reached out his hand, and lightly brushed the corners of his wet eyes with his fingertips.
His movements were very light, but his eyes showed the clarity and calmness that came from having experienced many vicissitudes of life.
"I see," he said, his voice soft but filled with a sense of relief.
I saw where I came from and the real past that was hard to look back on but could not be erased.
Then what?
And then here we are.
Si Qi looked into his clear eyes and suddenly understood. What Shao Wei wanted was never to dwell on the pain of the past, but to face it, acknowledge it, and then... let it go completely.
He hugged Shao Wei tightly in his arms, as if he wanted to merge him into his own bones and blood.
The hard drive was later put away by Si Qi and placed in the deepest part of the bookcase, perhaps never to be opened again.
But some things have quietly changed after watching those old movies.
Shao Wei seemed to have completely shaken off the last trace of invisible restraints, and even his eyes became lighter. He was still quiet, but the occasional trance-like state of emptiness that appeared on his mind was completely gone.
A few days later, Shao Wei even took the initiative to mention the garden.
"That dwarf tree," he said to Siqi naturally, as if discussing the weather, while sorting the dried herbs, "seems to have died later."
Si Qi was repairing a chair when he heard the words. He looked up and was stunned for a moment before he realized what he was talking about. He put down his tools, walked over to Shao Wei, hugged him from behind, and rested his chin on the top of his head. "Yeah, it seems so. Later they changed to plastic."
Shao Wei made a very light "tsk" sound, as if expressing a subtle mockery, and then continued with his actions.
The sunlight came through the window and fell on them, warm and bright.
The shadow of the past may not be completely erased, but it will eventually fade and become a faint mark on the background.
And after confirming those mottled old images, they can finally embrace the real and warm sunshine in front of them more steadily and attentively.
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