Chapter 247: It’s also thoughtful
"You...what?" Xie Jingmo paused for a long time in shock. He hoped he had heard it wrong.
But Deputy General Gao completely shattered all hopes.
"I know you heard it clearly, so I won't repeat it," Deputy General Gao sighed, "You don't need to make yourself sick anymore. This trick only works on people who love you. Now that Yun Zhao doesn't have you in his heart, there's really no need for you to harm your body."
After saying this, Deputy General Gao turned and left.
Xie Jingmo sat in the room for a long time. After a long time, he slowly closed his hands on his knees.
After that day, there was no more news about Xie Jingmo saying he was not feeling well.
Deputy General Gao went to see him several times, but he refused to see guests.
The imperial physician later said that Xie Jingmo refused treatment and his injuries became more serious.
Deputy General Gao had no choice but to go and meet the man.
"Why are you doing this?"
The room was filled with the smell of alcohol, Xie Jingmo was lying on the bed, and the smell of blood was strong in the air.
Deputy General Gao went in to see that the wound on his body had burst open, and the blood mixed with the broken wound looked very scary.
But Xie Jingmo didn't care at all. He raised his head and drank, trying to get himself drunk.
"General! Are you crazy?!"
"If you continue like this, will you still be healthy?"
"You've been away in the southwest for the past three years. Haven't you been living well without Yun Zhao? What's past is past. Why are you so obsessed with it?!"
The words fell.
Xie Jingmo suddenly raised his head and stared at Deputy General Gao with a bloodshot and sinister look in his eyes. "What do you know?!"
"During the three years in the southwest, I thought about her all the time!"
"I fought so hard, almost dying, and all I could think about was her. Otherwise, I would have died three years ago! Why is she so cruel? She actually wanted to marry someone else!"
"She can't see my heart at all!"
Deputy General Gao sighed, "General, people are destined to be together, and yours with Yun Zhao may have ended long ago. She's already moved on, so why don't you move on too? She can meet the person she loves, and so can you. Why do you always dwell on the past? It's meaningless."
"What do you know?!" Xie Jingmo roared, "My love will only be given to one person in this life, and it will never change hands!"
After saying that, Xie Jingmo pushed Deputy General Gao away and rushed out with his eyes closed.
After Lieutenant General Gao climbed up, he shouted behind him, "It's come to this. If you continue to pester her, she will only hate you more! Xie Jingmo!"
He didn't finish his words.
The person has completely disappeared without a trace.
Xie Jingmo rushed directly to the empress dowager's bedroom.
Standing outside the window, he heard Fu Hai inside say with a smile, "The Queen Mother is so thoughtful. You sewed every stitch of this wedding dress yourself. I'm sure the Regent will appreciate your thoughtfulness."
Xie Jingmo stood outside the window, his heart aching!
Eyes red with jealousy.
She tilted her body slightly and saw through the gap in the window a piece of red held in Yun Zhao's hand inside the room.
"Empress Dowager, the clothes are ready. Can you let the servants take care of the shoes and socks? The candlelight is dim at night and it hurts your eyes."
Xie Jingmo looked over.
Yun Zhao sat and waited, with a gentle smile on his lips, a smile that Xie Jingmo had not seen for a long time.
She held the needle and thread in her hand and chuckled softly, "I'm not good at this, but I always have to do it myself to feel at ease. He made a fuss for a long time before, and now he is willing to forgive me. I'm very happy. I do these to show my small appreciation. It's what I should do."
Fu Hai said, "But you are already the Queen Mother. There is really no need to do all this. No matter how extravagant you want, you can do it with just a word."
Then, Xie Jingmo saw Yun Zhao smile.
The smile was light and faint, but it caught my eye.
Xie Jingmo stood at the door in a daze.
Once upon a time, she also looked at herself and smiled like this, and also cared about herself like this.
Yun Zhao's love has always been passionate.
It was because he didn't cherish it that others had the opportunity to take advantage of him.
He was too confident. He thought that if he took possession of her body, she would always stay by his side. However, he never expected that she would never be bound by these constraints.
Xie Jingmo blamed himself for being narrow-minded, and was sad that Yun Zhao was so happy now, but not because of him.
He rushed into the palace, just to give himself another chance.
But with the bright red festive scene all around, he didn't know how to start and ruin her joy.
Xie Jingmo stood outside the window for half the night. Fu Hai said to Yun Zhao from inside, "It's late. The Queen Mother should go to bed early."
The lights in the house were blown out.
There was a long breath in the room.
Xie Jingmo walked in as if possessed by a ghost. The moonlight shone down, casting a silvery-white glow on his wedding dress.
Xie Jingmo raised his hand and wanted to touch it.
But in the end, my eyes were hurt by the red.
He finally admitted that he was still afraid.
Afraid of the past.
Afraid now.
Fear of the future.
I am afraid that Yun Zhao will be gone during these long years, and I am also afraid that the current reality will make the past embarrassing.
He also hoped that he could be decent and let go of the past as Deputy General Gao said.
If Yun Zhao can find someone he loves, why can't he?
He wanted to say yes in a tough way, but he knew he couldn't.
Seven years at the frontier.
She had saved him from the dead several times. When he was drowsy, he stared at her fair profile and thought about giving up everything and growing old with her.
Now everything is his paranoia.
He didn't know how to recover.
He has done his best.
He tried his best, but she still didn't love him.
Xie Jingmo withdrew his hand in disappointment. Before leaving, he took one last look at the red dress on the table and fled.
When Deputy General Gao found the man, Xie Jingmo was drinking on the city wall.
"Are you going to drink yourself to death?"
"Becoming the first prince in history to drink himself to death?"
Deputy General Gao complained while bandaging Xie Jingmo.
Xie Jingmo didn't care at all. He asked calmly, "When is the wedding date?"
Vice Admiral Gao said, "I thought you would never ask."
"If I don't ask, it won't happen?"
Vice Admiral Gao paused and said, "The fifth day of next month is a good date. Given Yun Zhao's status, it's impossible to make it public. The Regent will return to the capital on that day. There will be a simple ceremony behind closed doors in Yun Zhao's bedroom. Yun Zhao didn't invite anyone else, but I heard that Mu Chengyan invited Yun Zhao's parents, which is thoughtful of him."
Xie Jingmo took a sip of wine and said bitterly, "Then Mu Chengyan will stay in the capital from now on and won't leave?"
Deputy General Gao said, "Of course. Now that they're married, they're husband and wife, so naturally they won't leave. But Yun Zhao said that Mu Chengyan doesn't need to worry about court affairs. If he wants to stay in the palace, he can stay in her bedroom. If not, he can stay at home in the capital. It's up to him in the end."
Xie Jingmo lowered his eyes, "That's considerate. I thought she would want Mu Chengyan to participate in government affairs and become her helper."
"I thought so at first, but then I thought about it, isn't Yun Zhao just like that? He's completely devoted to whoever he likes. Yun Zhao said that when two people are involved in government affairs, they will eventually have disagreements, and quarrels will hurt feelings. Besides, power is not what Mu Chengyan pursues, so there's no need to get involved in this mess for her."
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