28 Pure Neurosis
Huo Yan: My uncle is a psychopath, Bao Chun.
The second act of The Monkey King was performed with great fanfare during the New Year's holiday. The seats were packed, with people standing shoulder to shoulder. Some nobles, despite their usual emphasis on respectability, added a few extra bamboo stools to each private room. Countless people cheered with applause during the exciting parts.
Huo Yan was watching a play upstairs, cracking pumpkin seeds and counting beads on an abacus.
His paper making skills were already mature, and once this fold was completed, the Monkey King became a hit, and posters, bound comics, novels, fan series dolls, bookmarks, bags and other money-making products were all brought in.
Hehe, you can also make them think that the paper is expensive, so you can set a higher price and make some money.
He smiled triumphantly, looking at Li Yannian on the stage with a rosy face and in excellent condition, and he couldn't help but have some ideas.
What treasure sees, treasure gets.
Huo Qubing was also very active in knocking the door with his southern claws. In his hand, he held the telescope made of crystal by Huo Yan and played the hide-and-seek game in his mind with the thick-skinned little beauty.
Yes, it was Huo Qubing who used a telescope and randomly shot arrows without arrowheads, and Xiao Piaoliang dodged.
A big game of hide-and-seek, Xiao Piaoliang and he both agreed.
Huo Yan blinked his big eyes and finally decided to use money to attack Li Yannian. He offered a high salary to make Mr. Li resign voluntarily.
It’s so boring to follow Liu Che, you can only perform for him. But if you follow me, you can sing all over the country.
He excitedly asked the steward to go, but Li Yannian decisively refused.
The young man still held the zither in his hand, but he was speechless and unclear on the fallen stage. He plucked the strings twice, then smiled awkwardly at the olive branch extended by the steward, saying, "I have always been a musician for the emperor, but if the master of the temple has a wish, you can come to the music bureau and Yannian will open the bed to welcome you."
The eldest son of the steward who delivered the message did not understand, but only thought that Li Yannian was noble.
Huo Yan, who was watching everything from above, stroked his forehead when he heard this and blurted out, "You are so stupid! He is pretending and you believe it!"
Li Yannian was clearly afraid that he would become mentally ill again.
The teenage Shi Ye bared his teeth and tried to coax the furious boy in the room, "Then don't be angry, young master. Let's go find His Majesty and buy him!"
Huo Yan poked the table with his little finger and pointed at him, "How about I open your brain and see if it's all water?"
Li Yannian doesn't charge money to begin with, but if he wants to get close to Liu Che, he has to pay a fee. You think I have too much money, don't you?
When Shi Ye thought of the brutal way he gave the rabbit anesthesia with electric shock and then ripped it open, Da Bai Ya immediately stopped.
"My young master, I don't need it."
The master and servant were performing a duet. Huo Qubing put down the telescope and held the little beauty who was half lying on his knees, laughing uncontrollably.
Huo Yan glared at him, and he immediately pretended not to see it and continued to pet the tiger, but the corner of his lips that he could not hide gave him away.
Well, I’m unhappy again.
Huo Yan sat back down, his face calm as he calculated, "We can't rely solely on them. We have to create our own actors."
Shi Ye was stunned, then volunteered, "Then the young master can do it himself!"
Huo Yan rolled his eyes and slammed the table, looking as if his father had died. "Fuck you, do you want to go and keep Dongfang Shuo company?"
Shi Ye felt aggrieved by his harsh treatment and went to Huo Qubing for comfort, but Huo Qubing petted him and his cat.
"Your young master needs money to be independent, and he's already worried about not having money. You didn't use your brains to help him out, and you made him angry. He deserves to scold you."
Huo Qubing laughed and tapped the big head of the stone leaf lightly.
Huo Yan snorted, and Shi Ye understood instantly and ran to him, "Don't be angry, young master."
Huo Yan frowned in disdain, gave each man a kick and a tiger, drove the tiger and the man out, and sat down next to Huo Qubing.
Seeing that Huo Qubing just smiled and didn't touch him, he just moved his face and glanced at him.
It's faded. My brother doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't like me anymore. He wouldn't touch me even if he touched a fool!
Huo Qubing skillfully covered his mouth to prevent him from moving. With his other hand, he quickly picked up two sticky dates covered with honey on the table and stuffed them into his mouth. Then he covered his mouth again, fearing that he would start to say sarcastic words again.
Huo Yan's cheeks were puffed up, and he bit the dates expressionlessly, making a crunching sound. It was obvious that he was angry.
My brother also despises me and doesn't let me speak.
Huo Qubing gently stroked his left wrist. Huo Yan's hand was beautiful, with long, slender knuckles and slightly protruding joints, revealing a few green veins like blades of grass, pointing straight up. However, a large, pale scar on his palm severed everything, leaving only the ferocious, bared fangs and claws.
After a while, Huo Qubing tilted his head and asked his younger brother, "Is it sweet?"
Huo Yan spat out the date pit, turned his head, grinned, and made a face.
"It's so sweet, only you like it."
Huo Qubing stroked his hair and asked, "Then why do you still want someone to do it for me?"
"If you like it, of course I'll make it." Huo Yan muttered, grabbing the last date, "But you know, you have no more dates left."
"Now that I have paper, I want to find someone to publish a scientific journal, so I'm going to recall Dongfang Shuo. As the only shareholder, you have to support me."
He whispered something in Huo Qubing's ear, his almond-shaped eyes rolling around with a cunning look.
Huo Qubing smiled, with the same cunning look in his eyes.
"Sounds like fun."
After thinking carefully, he said, "What is a publication?"
[Oh, Yanyan, you don't like him anymore. Are you going to use your little bamboo stick and fireworks to kill him?]
[Ayan: My brother doesn't love me. I won't be with him anymore. Unless, brother, you and I do something bad.]
[Brother, rub me, rub me.]
[Hhh, Ah Yan is so jealous.]
[If you like me, I will give you food]
[Yanyan, can you make horseshoes? If the time comes, why not use this to trade with Liu Che for your brother? Otherwise, I'm afraid you'll be miserable without your brother!]
[I told you earlier that the iron isn't hard enough, so since you've begged me, I'll teach you how to pour steel.]
[We can quickly advance the technology tree to the Northern and Southern Dynasties, and we know how to build a three-piece set of horse harness.]
[Please beg me, baby, I beg you.]
[Without his brother, what kind of big cat is he, hhh.]
…
The next day, after visiting Princess Wei Chang from his aunt, Huo Qubing brought Huo Yan to the palace to visit their old uncle.
Dong Zhongshu happened to be discussing philosophy with Liu Che.
When Liu Che saw the twins coming together, he waved to them to sit next to him.
Huo Yan had been used to sitting on a chair for some time, and was not used to kneeling now. Huo Qubing handed him a small incense burner covered with silver-gray fox fur. Huo Yan took it, lowered his eyes, and pretended to be a living dead as before.
After Dong Zhongshu finished talking about Confucianism, he continued to promote the idea of the interaction between heaven and man as before.
"When a wise ruler reigns, the weather is good and the crops are plentiful. When a tyrant reigns, the crops are not harvested."
After he finished speaking, he didn't notice that Liu Che's expression suddenly turned gloomy. He put on the face of a hermit and stroked his beard.
Huo Qubing was as anxious as if fleas were crawling on his body, but he was calm by nature and never showed any dissatisfaction.
Huo Yan raised his eyes and yawned, as if he was still looking at Liu Che, who was dissatisfied but did not show it, and accidentally threw the small stove in his hand in front of Dong Zhongshu.
Generally speaking, this kind of incense holder is covered with fox fur, so the incense ash will not spill out. But this time it was different. The fox fur seemed to have been chewed by a dog and split in the middle. The incense ash scattered all over the ground and landed on Dong Zhongshu's clothes.
Dong Zhongshu picked up the incense burner, but heard Huo Yan shout, "Don't move, Master Dong! The fox fur on the incense burner is cracking and releasing ash for no reason. This must be a sign from heaven!"
His confident look made Dong Zhongshu's expression freeze for a moment. His blood rushed to his head and the corners of his mouth twitched involuntarily.
"Nonsense, kid!"
Huo Qubing raised his head upon hearing this and said calmly, "Mr. Dong's intuition has reached the highest level. Can't he see that this ash is coming towards Mr. Dong and touching him? This is definitely an ominous sign."
Huo Yan continued, "Your Majesty is the Son of Heaven, the chosen one who is in tune with the heavens. This ash must be a warning from heaven to your majesty. Lord Dong has attracted filth!"
Huo Qubing shouted, "Heaven and man are one, Mr. Dong is unknown!"
Dong Zhongshu was so angry at them that he suddenly raised his voice.
"What do I have to do with the ashes?"
Huo Yan's eyes are black and watery.
"Heaven and man are connected! Master Dong is a great master, how could he say such a thing? He must have angered the heavens, and they are sending down ashes as a warning!"
Dong Zhongshu was speechless, feeling uncomfortable as if there was a lump of blood choking his chest.
Is this considered studying like crazy?
A hint of amusement flashed across Liu Che's face, and he asked Wei Qing to lead Dong Zhongshu away, fearing that Dong Zhongshu, whose health was not good, would be angered to death.
After Dong Zhongshu disappeared into the inner room, he hugged the twins, one on each side.
"How did Lord Dong offend my little nephew?"
Ever since the fires broke out in the Gaoyuan Hall of Changling and the Gao Temple of Liaodong, where the emperor worshipped his ancestors, Emperor Wu of Han disliked Dong Zhongshu's theories about heaven and man.
He is the emperor, the Son of Heaven. How could God be angry with him and send down fire from heaven?
Huo Yan pretended to be innocent and just watched Liu Che laugh like a fool.
Liu Che simply reached out and tilted his head to the side, so that his back was facing him, and then signaled Huo Qubing to answer.
It's simple, the pretentious little fox never tells the truth.
Huo Qubing was not stupid, he just spoke nonsense calmly and seriously, with a serious and sincere look.
"Your Majesty, think twice. Heaven and man are one. Lord Dong is inauspicious."
Liu Che covered his forehead and patted his head.
"If you don't like someone, just say so."
Huo Qubing uttered an "oh" and continued, "Ah Yan said he's tired of the constant shamanism and the idea that heaven and man are connected. Heaven is just a ball of air, and a good person shouldn't connect with people, but rather with the air. Is he a ball of air?"
Liu Che suddenly had an idea. Looking at Huo Yan, who had his back to them, he praised, "Ah Yan is right. The ultimate goal of the connection between heaven and man is to cultivate qi. This is the only way to achieve immortality."
Huo Yan wanted to bury his head in the ground. "No, you're just crazy."
Although Liu Che didn't know what "nerve" was, he felt that it was not a good thing to say to his Sima face, so he hit him on the head.
"Speak properly!" He paused, then continued, "What do you mean by pure insanity?"
Huo Yan blinked his big eyes pretentiously, "It means you have achieved spiritual enlightenment, which means you are one with the gods. Congratulations, you have cultivated your Qi, and you will soon be able to achieve immortality."
Liu Che raised the corners of his lips and leaned lazily on the quilt, as if he had no bones, with a half-smile, "Then I think Ah Yan is also a complete lunatic."
A pair of white and slender hands were clasped on the fox fur of the broken incense burner that was bitten to pieces by Xiao Piaoliang. Liu Che said in a sarcastic tone, and Huo Yan suddenly felt a chill on his back. Huo Qubing's smile became even more adorable.
"How do you know? I'm totally crazy."
After a long while, Huo Yan said heartlessly.
Liu Che was silent for a moment and pretended to pat him on the head.
"You're so young, learn something good and stop talking nonsense."
It's unprecedented. He is such a weirdo, so he asks others to stop talking nonsense.
Huo Yan didn't let him pat his head and hid in the arms of Wei Qing who was sending Dong Zhongshu back.
Wei Qing, under the guise of seriousness, actually protected the young man and said to Liu Che, "Ayan is still young, Your Majesty, please don't bother with Ayan."
Liu Che hugged Huo Qubing and said to Wei Qing, "Just protect him. This kid will become lawless sooner or later."
Huo Qubing's originally mature face suddenly relaxed, with sweet dimples on his cheeks, his little canine teeth half exposed, and he smiled at him.
"Ayan is still young."
Huo Yan hummed in Wei Qing's arms, and pulled Xiao Mian out to agree with him.
"My brother said I'm still young, so please don't bother with me."
He probably didn't know how cute he was now, a tiny ball, like a cat showing its pink paws and meowing twice.
Liu Che was also amused by him.
"You two little bastards."
Just a deep look in the eyes.
Dong Zhongshu's doctrine of knowing when to stop, not serving the emperor, and not adding luster to the emperor has no meaning of existence.
【Author’s words】
In the sixth year of Emperor Wu of Han's Jianyuan reign (135 BC), fires broke out at the Gaoyuan Hall of Changling Mausoleum and the Gao Temple of Liaodong, where the emperor held ancestral worship. Dong Zhongshu, believing this was an opportune moment to promote the idea of divine interaction, insisted on drafting a memorial, citing the two fires as evidence of heaven's wrath against Emperor Wu. However, before the memorial could be submitted, Lord Yan, a guest at Dong Zhongshu's home, stole the draft and presented it to Emperor Wu. Enraged, the emperor decreed Dong Zhongshu's execution. Later, out of pity for his talent, he pardoned him, but dismissed his position as Prince of Jiangdu. From then on, Dong Zhongshu no longer dared to speak of disasters and anomalies, instead returning to his traditional profession of teaching, continuing his ten-year teaching of the Gongyang Spring and Autumn Annals.
A Yan wanted to protect Dong Zhongshu, fearing that he would say something again and anger Liu Che.
The disease is subconscious cooperation.
Hahahaha, in the end he won the MVP.
Chechezi was a bit weird when he was young. Is this okay to say? hhh.
Pay attention, my uncle went to send Dong Zhongshu off, and he will make it clear.
At this time, Dong Zhongshu probably understood what Liu Che meant and would not write this memorial again.
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