Chapter 144 Two Thousand in the Mortal World…
Two thousand years of human history have brought about profound changes, but for immortals, it is but a fleeting moment.
Over the past two thousand years, Cangli has been quite busy, needing to set things right, balance the energy between heaven and earth, and separate humans from gods, until the decree that "animals are not allowed to become spirits after the founding of the nation" was promulgated.
Yes, once this decree was promulgated, it was inscribed on the Heavenly Way, and humanity officially entered the scientific society.
As the saying goes, a day in heaven is equivalent to a year on earth. Many immortals, still reeling from the crackdown on feudal superstition in the human world, secluded themselves in their celestial abodes. When they finally emerged, they discovered that the human world was no longer the one they knew.
Whether they have lived for tens of millions of years or have only been immortals for a thousand or two thousand years, all immortals are bewildered by this. They are genuine ancient relics and have no idea how mortals can change so much in less than a hundred years.
It wasn't like this before. The level of progress was about the same for more than two thousand years. How did it become like this in the last hundred years?
That tall building—if it weren't for the fact that the human world and the celestial realm aren't on the same latitude—oh, the word "latitude" is borrowed from humans, supposedly for scientific verification or something—if they were on the same latitude, that building would be towering up to the heavens.
Furthermore, the deities with the most followers in the past were the Old Man Under the Moon and the Goddess of Mercy who grants children. Nowadays, mortals are all single-minded and steadfast in their beliefs. Yes, they only believe in the God of Wealth, and in some areas, they believe in Mazu.
In the Heavenly Court today, the most fashionable deities, those with the most modern knowledge, are the Five Gods of Wealth. This is because they are quickly dragged out to work by mortals seeking wealth, working 24/7 without a break.
This word was also learned from ordinary people.
With the demons and monsters gone from the mortal realm, the other gods are almost out of work. To avoid losing their jobs, the Queen Mother of the West said that Heaven doesn't support idlers, so she learned some kind of annual KPI from mortals, and those who come in last will be punished by being sent to the mortal realm as local deities.
Suddenly, all the gods began to expand their businesses, mainly taking over some of the work that the God of Wealth couldn't handle.
Of course, it's understandable that some gods might choose to descend to the mortal realm instead of becoming gods. However, after a certain god descended to the mortal realm and was aborted seven times in a row, never having the chance to be reborn, he became completely withdrawn.
In addition, while the lives of ordinary people are convenient nowadays, the way they live is so bad that even gods would shake their heads in disapproval, so everyone has started to prioritize performance.
Once this was rolled up, even the troublesome deities—specifically Nezha, Yang Jian, and Sun Wukong—stopped causing trouble, the female immortals who were deceived by their desire for mortal life stopped descending to earth, their love-struck minds were cured, and the entire Heavenly Court was peaceful and harmonious.
The Queen Mother of the West was very pleased.
Cang Li has been confined to Zixiao Palace to repair the Heavenly Dao for some time. More than a hundred days ago, the Heavenly Dao had some problems. As the spokesperson of the Heavenly Dao, Cang Li naturally had to repair it. Taiqing took some time to protect his Daoist temple in the mortal world. The wedding that the couple had been talking about for thousands of years has been postponed until now.
Fortunately, the Heavenly Dao was repaired. Cang Li wiped his sweat, sat on the ground, and said:
"Finally done, but no, let me check it."
He then got up and carefully checked again, making sure there was really no problem, before instructing the two young servants left behind by Hongjun:
"Alright, you two keep a close watch and report any problems immediately. Oh, it's still a shift system. The human world is so much fun these days, you can take turns playing around. Just remember not to neglect your duties, or I'll punish you."
The two children breathed a sigh of relief and cheered:
"That's wonderful! Your Excellency, rest assured, we will definitely do our duty to the best of our ability!"
Cang Li waved and walked out of Zixiao Palace. Taiqing was waiting for her at the door. During this time, in order not to disturb Cang Li, Taiqing had not entered Zixiao Palace and had been waiting outside. Cang Li immediately threw herself into Taiqing's arms:
"I'm so tired!"
Taiqing caught Cangli and said:
"Is it fixed?"
Cang Li nodded: "Yes, it's fine now. I always thought the Heavenly Dao was easy to please, but I didn't expect it to give me such a big surprise. Now it's all set and running normally."
Taiqing led Cangli back to the Eight Trigrams Palace. As soon as they sat down, Cangli excitedly said:
"Let's go play in the mortal world!"
Taiqing: "...Weren't you tired?"
Cang Li held up a finger and shook it: "I'm tired when I'm working, but I'm not tired at all when I'm playing!"
Taiqing: "Hmm, the mortal realm has changed quite a bit. I've heard that the verification of identity and travel permits is very strict. We can't just go to the mortal realm as casually as before."
Cang Li thought about it and agreed. These days, you need an ID card to go anywhere, and if she and Tai Qing continued like this, they would become unregistered residents.
Otherwise, should she try to get an ID card?
While Cang Li was pondering the issue of the ID card, Tongtian and Yuanshi arrived. The two brothers had identical expressions, both slightly shocked.
They had been in seclusion for many years. When they glanced at the mortal realm, they were shocked by its prosperity. It was a sight they had never seen in millions of years. At that moment, they finally understood why the human race was the darling of the Heavenly Dao. The human race could indeed create miracles.
"Brother, Cang Li, do you know what the world has become?" In just a hundred years, it has turned into this.
Tongtian was very interested in this. He was someone who liked to travel around, and now he couldn't stay still.
Cang Li nodded: "Of course we know. We were just discussing going out for fun. Otherwise, since the Daoist doesn't like to go out, if we don't go and see him soon, he'll really turn into an old relic."
Taiqing: ...
Tongtian immediately said, "Me too! Me too!"
Yuanshi: "...If you all go, I will go too."
Cang Li: "Okay, but the mortal realm is very strict about checking identities now, we can't go on like this."
Tongtian: "No problem. I'll go find Zhao Gongming. He's very popular in the mortal realm and often sneaks down there to play. He'll definitely have a solution."
Cang Li: "Wow! That's great! Let's go, let's go now!"
As he spoke, he pulled Taiqing and Yuanshi Tongtian together and went to the Heavenly Court. Just now, the God of Wealth's Palace had noticed that there was a constant stream of gods coming and going at the gate, and the place was bustling with activity. All the gods in the Heavenly Palace were here.
Cang Li: "What are they doing here?"
He was well-informed, and half of the gods in the Heavenly Court were his disciples in the past. He knew about the Heavenly Court's affairs even without paying special attention.
"Come find Zhao Gongming to share the work. I heard that the Queen Mother of the West, your sister, recently issued a new rule: gods who don't work hard will be punished by being sent down to be local deities at the end of the year, and those with serious offenses will be reincarnated as humans. So all these gods have become busy. Because the God of Wealth has the most followers, when they can't keep up, they will share the work with other gods, which is why the God of Wealth's place is the most crowded."
Cang Li listened with amazement, exclaiming, "Wow, he really is a management talent!"
When Tongtian came in person, Zhao Gongming immediately and respectfully invited his masters and senior uncles inside.
Tongtian didn't waste any words and asked directly:
"You came down to earth and this is how you solve your identity problem? Get each of us a travel permit, and oh, a place to stay, a big courtyard."
Zhao Gongming: "...Master, nowadays people don't call that a travel permit, they call it an ID card. If you keep going like this, you'll be called a Qing Dynasty person."
Tongtian slapped him across the face: "I don't care what his name is, just tell me if it's possible or not?"
Zhao Gongming scratched the back of his head and grinned, "Yes, yes, yes, I'll get you and your senior uncles a house right away. Well, there aren't any courtyard houses like that anymore, but I have some money in the mortal world, so you and your senior uncles can stay in my villa. Oh, right, mortals aren't too superstitious these days. Master, when you and your senior uncles go, please observe for a few days before you start playing around, or you'll be treated like lunatics and thrown into a mental hospital."
Cang Li grasped the key point: "How did you know you'd be taken to a mental hospital?"
Zhao Gongming: ...
Zhao Gongming shifted the subject with a dazed look: "Your Excellency, this is not important. Master, wait a moment. I will immediately contact my loyal follower in the mortal realm. She is a high-ranking official, very powerful. I think she is destined for this, and she has good character, but her luck is not very good. I added some fortune to her. She knows my identity and can help me solve my identity problem."
In reality, when Zhao Gongming went down to the mortal world, he hadn't yet adapted to the changes. He blurted out, "I am the God of Wealth, give me this, and I will guarantee you a lifetime of wealth and honor." Then he was forcibly taken to the hospital. Luckily, he was a deity, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to get out.
Tongtian: "Alright, go and do it. Your senior uncles and I are going to have some fun."
Zhao Gongming immediately went to handle the matter and returned in less than the time it takes to drink a cup of tea. He pulled out four ID cards, and no one knew how he did it. The four photos on the ID cards were of Cangli Yuanshi Tongtian Taiqing.
"Master, it's done. I'll take you to the villa. I've prepared cell phones, bank cards, and cash for you. Just tell me if you need anything."
Then he led the four of them to his villa in the mortal realm.
Cang Li gasped, pointing at the villa in front of him: "This is your villa?" He truly deserves to be called the God of Wealth, managing to acquire such a large mountain and such a huge villa in Shanghai, where land is incredibly valuable.
Zhao Gongming waved his hand modestly: "This is nothing. Making money is too easy. Your Excellency, you and your master and senior uncles can stay here. I have arranged a driver for you."
Cang Li didn't need to adapt at all; it was like she was coming home. She even got to experience the world of the wealthy, a world she had never enjoyed in her previous life.
Upon arriving at the villa, Cang Li pulled Tai Qing directly to the room Zhao Gongming had prepared. There were even clothes thoughtfully provided inside. Cang Li and Tai Qing were staying together, so they grabbed a matching outfit from the walk-in closet and changed into it.
She hadn't worn a sundress in a long time, and now that it's summer, it's the perfect time to wear a dress.
Taiqing was wearing gray knee-length shorts and a white t-shirt with the same pattern embroidered on Cangli's skirt. When Taiqing came out after changing her clothes and was still not used to it, she saw Cangli wearing a tank top.
Cang Li pulled Tai Qing to go out, but Tai Qing stopped her: "You, A Li, why aren't you wearing an outer garment?"
In fact, Taiqing had seen people from ancient times wearing clothes that exposed their arms and legs, but Cangli had never worn them, which made Taiqing feel a little uncomfortable.
"Daoist Master, this is how mortals dress these days," Cang Li explained, suppressing a laugh.
Taiqing gave an "oh" and slowly followed Cangli out the door, her brows furrowed and her gaze fixed on Cangli's shoulder.
Tongtian and Yuanshi quickly learned some basic modern knowledge, changed their clothes, and met Cangli and Taiqing. They had no objection to Cangli's attire.
Cang Li spoke directly to Tongtian and Yuanshi:
"You two are just playing on your phones at home. The Taoist priest and I are going out for a walk."
Yuanshi shook his head in disapproval: "This is your first time in the mortal realm, and it's not good to leave like this."
Cang Li: "Who said it was the first... I can't explain it to you. Don't worry about it. I know more about the human world than you do. Don't worry, we'll just go out for a bit and come right back."
After saying that, he took two cell phones from the coffee table, handed one to Taiqing, and the two walked out. Cang Li quietly taught Taiqing how to use the phone and wrote down the phone number. After they went out, a driver arranged by Zhao Gongming drove them to a high-end shopping mall in the bustling city center.
Cang Li pulled Tai Qing out of the car and said to the driver:
"We'll play by ourselves, you go back first."
The driver hesitated for a moment, then, remembering that his boss had instructed him to follow the customer's wishes, he nodded and said:
"Okay, have a good time, both of you."
Cang Li looked excitedly at the skyscrapers in front of her. It seemed that no matter how many years she had lived, the clear and vivid images in her memory were still those of a modern and convenient technological society.
"Taoist Master, come on, I'll take you to have some fun."
Cang Li took out his phone. At first, he was a little clumsy, but after a few taps, he became proficient and quickly found the most lively and fun places in the city. He then took Tai Qing there to play.
A handsome man and a beautiful woman always attract attention, especially with Tai Qing's long white hair. When the two arrived at a place frequented by young people, they had only bought two cups of milk tea when someone approached them and asked:
"Teacher! Teacher! Are you cosplaying Hou Qing?!"
Taiqing was bewildered. He didn't even know what cosplay was, and the two girls in front of him, dressed strangely, weren't his apprentices, so why were they calling him "teacher"? For the first time, Taiqing felt the gap between generations.
Cang Li swallowed a mouthful of milk tea and said with a smile:
"No, look at his eyebrows. Without 666, he's not cosplaying Youpin Ge. He's creating his own Taoist character. You guys are cosplaying... September and Nezha?"
"Wow! Teacher! You have such good eyes, you recognized us! What's your relationship with this handsome guy? Can we collect photos of each other?"
"Can we expand our friend list!?"
The two little girls were clearly very excited, and Cang Li generously stated:
"Of course! I'm not in a role today, so I'll take a group photo for you all!"
The two girls immediately unlocked their phones and gave them to Cang Li, then ran to Tai Qing and started acting up. One of them jumped up, struck a pose like a roc spreading its wings, and shouted, "The whole story!"
One of them was crawling on the ground, looking miserable: "I don't want to go to work!"
Cang Li was overjoyed; young people were so much fun.
Taiqing was completely out of sorts ever since Cangli started talking to the two girls.
The two girls took the phones with satisfaction, thanked her repeatedly, and left excitedly.
Cangli pulled Taiqing along as they continued walking. There was probably a comic convention going on nearby, so the street was full of cosplayers.
After walking for a while, Taiqing finally came to her senses and hesitantly asked Cangli:
"Why did that mortal just now say she was Nezha?"
Cang Li patted Tai Qing's waist and said in a deep voice:
"That's not important, what's important is that they're happy."
Taiqing: "...Nezha doesn't mind?"
Cang Li shrugged: "What's there to mind? Everyone likes him, that's a sign of liking someone. Look, no one is cosplaying Taiqing Daode Tianzun, what does that mean? It means that only I like you!"
Taiqing: ...
Out of the corner of his eye, he also saw people cosplaying as demons, as Yama, and as all sorts of strange people, with various hair colors. He realized that he really didn't understand mortals.
Cangli had a great time, taking photos with many beautiful cosplayers along the way and praising them. She didn't go back with Taiqing until 10 o'clock, still feeling like she hadn't had enough.
When they returned to the villa, Yuanshi was diligently flipping through history books, while Tongtian was engrossed in short videos, and everyone had a bright future.
The two returned to their room, and Taiqing was a little sullen.
Cang Li came out after taking a shower and wearing her pajamas, urging Tai Qing, "Go take a shower quickly."
Taiqing went into the bathroom, took a shower, and then suddenly hugged Cangli and asked in a muffled voice:
"Ah Li, will you dislike me?"
Cang Li: ?
Taiqing bent over and buried her head in Cangli's shoulder and neck:
"I didn't know anything outside today, but Ali knows everything and had a great time chatting with those young people. Ali, have you been bored in the Eight Views Palace all this time?"
Cang Li: "...Daoist Master, what strange things are you saying?" His tone still carried an uncontrollable smile.
Taiqing sighed: "Ali, I don't think I know you well enough."
Cang Li turned around and pounced on Tai Qing, pinning her to the bed. He looked down at Tai Qing with a smile and said:
"What don't you understand? Have you forgotten? I represent the Heavenly Dao, so of course I understand the changes in the human world best. Look at Yuanshi and Tongtian, they're so engrossed in playing on their phones down there that they've forgotten they're gods. Daoist, come here, I'll teach you how to use a phone. You're so smart, you'll definitely understand this society very quickly."
Taiqing wrapped her arms around Cangli's waist, her eyes downcast, and said with a hint of pitifulness:
"We will study again tomorrow..."
Before Cang Li could react, Tai Qing pressed her against his chest. Cang Li:
"...You lied...!" Before he could finish the last word, Taiqing kissed him.
The next morning, Cang Li lay on the bed watching videos, laughing as she watched, accompanied by background music that sounded rather unserious.
Taiqing opened her eyes, sat up in bed, the blanket slipped down, revealing several teeth marks on her chest that looked like they were from someone who had bitten hard. Taiqing covered Cangli from behind, her eyes half-closed, and asked indistinctly:
"Ah Li, what are you looking at?"
Cang Li pushed Tai Qing's head away and swiped a video with her finger. Tai Qing stared at it and was initially puzzled. The video showed a man who was not showing his face and was wrapped up tightly. The next second, the music flashed and the man suddenly took off his shirt. When the light behind him shone, he showed broad shoulders, a narrow waist, and eight-pack abs, displaying his genitals.
Taiqing: ...
Taiqing instinctively covered Cangli's eyes.
Cang Li slapped Tai Qing's hand away: "Daoist Master! Why are you covering my eyes!?"
Taiqing covered the phone with her hand: "Don't look at other people's phones."
Cang Li: ...
Cang Li squinted at Tai Qing, who glanced at his phone, gritted his teeth, grabbed Cang Li's hand, and pressed it onto his abs.
"Why look at others? They're not as good-looking as me."
Cang Li chuckled, "Alright, alright, I won't watch anymore, hehe~" She reached out and pinched Tai Qing, thinking that she could just watch it with Tai Qing's back to her.
Having acquired knowledge of modern society, Yuanshi and Tongtian simply shortened their hair, changed their clothes, and were ready to debut on the spot.
Taiqing touched his hair, hesitated for a while, remembered what happened last time, and made up his mind to cut his long hair short. The three brothers dragged Cangli to go out and play, on the grounds that Cangli would sneak out without taking them.
Because Cang Li forgot to finish the barbecue when he returned, Tong Tian discovered it and demanded that they be taken along next time he went out.
So the four of them went out together. Cang Li bought tickets to the comic convention, which suited her image as a young person. As for the three "old people", who cares?
After the progress was made, Yuanshi blurted out: "Clad in fur and horns &1……％*&@!"
Before he could finish speaking, Tongtian covered his mouth and said earnestly:
"Second brother, times have changed. The Qing Dynasty is over. If you keep saying that, you'll really get arrested."
Yuanshi: ...
The next second: "Teacher! Did you draw Xiao Yi?! Can we collect them?"
Primordial Beginning: ? ? ?
Before Yuanshi could react, Tongtian exclaimed from the side, "That's fine, that's fine!"
The designer immediately took a photo with her, and even from a distance, you could still hear her excitedly saying, "Aww! Come quick, there's a high-quality Xiao Yi here!"
Cang Li laughed heartily, then said to Yuan Shi, "Next time someone asks you, just say no, otherwise you're a man and you'll be thrown into the toilet. (This is a game where male cosplay is prohibited.)"
Yuanshi's face darkened, and he said irritably, "Why are these mortals calling me whatever they want? I'm not her master, don't just call me teacher!"
Cang Li chuckled and explained, "Mind your own business in the world of anime and manga. Calling someone 'teacher' is just a polite and respectful way of addressing them."
As soon as he finished speaking, he turned around and found that Taiqing was surrounded.
"Teacher! Teacher! Did you choose Zhang Zifan?!"
"Teacher! Teacher! Did you give me Gojo Satoru?!"
Taiqing: ...
Taiqing Chao Cang Li gave him a pleading look, and Cang Li immediately squeezed in:
"Dear teachers! There's a misunderstanding, this is the original skin! The original skin! It's just dyed hair!"
The teachers who were waiting to collect stamps were disappointed, but still asked if they could collect stamps.
When Cang Li finished her work and went to find Yuan Shi and Tong Tian, she discovered that Tong Tian had somehow found an overcoat, transformed his Qingping Sword into the shape of a black gold ancient knife, and was carrying it on his back, pretending to be profound. This attracted the attention of the wild teachers Wu Xie, Hei Xiazi, Fatty, Xie Yuchen, and Xiu Xiu.
Cang Li: ...
Cang Li pulled Tai Qing over and heard Teacher Hei Xiazi say:
"Hey, mute, you look great today!"
Tongtian nodded indifferently.
Cang Li: ...
Cang Li sighed, "Fine, Tongtian is a bit too handsome. It's reasonable for him to be mistaken for Zhang Qiling in this outfit."
Turning around again, Yuanshi was surrounded once more, his face dark and impatient, which drew a group of people who asked:
"Teacher! Your cosplay is spot on! Even your expression is exactly the same!"
As for what it resembled, Cang Li didn't hear it. After the comic convention ended, Cang Li took Taiqing and Yuanshi Tongtian home.
Tongtian exclaimed excitedly, "This is so much fun! Next time I'll wear my Taoist robe!"
Yuan Shi: "...You come by yourself, I'm not coming." He couldn't handle these enthusiastic yet strange young people; this activity wasn't suitable for him.
Cang Li and Tong Tian hit it off immediately:
Let's do it together next time!
Taiqing: "...I'll go with you."
I always felt that if I didn't follow along, Cang Li would go crazy with Tong Tian.
Overall, the experience in the mortal realm was quite good. At least Tongtian didn't want to go back to Biyou Palace anymore. After mastering transportation and online shopping skills, Tongtian often appeared and disappeared unpredictably, traveling around everywhere. Not long after, Cangli came across a video on an online platform titled "High-quality cosplay teacher, very easy to talk to!" The protagonist was Tongtian.
Tongtian, relying on his immortal powers, could impersonate anyone he wanted, and he found great joy in it.
Cang Li pulled Tai Qing to watch together, and Tai Qing relaxed his brows and said, "Let him have his own hobby. It's better than chasing after Jieyin and Zhunti to fight every day."
At home, Jieyin and Zhunti thanked Heaven for finally getting rid of Tongtian.
After spending some time at the comic convention, Cang Li dragged Tai Qing on a world tour, ostensibly to:
"Go and communicate with the Western gods. Houtu asked me to go and collect a debt. She said that some Chinese people under the jurisdiction of the underworld died outside, and the foreign gods are not allowing them to return to the underworld to be reincarnated. They are also obstructing the underworld's ghost officials from carrying out their duties. I'm going to take a look."
While he claimed to be just looking around, when Cang Li went to see Hou Tu, Hou Tu made things very clear, and her tone was displeased.
"Cang Li, once you get there, don't waste any words. Give them a meal first. I'll arrange for Black and White Impermanence to lead the ghost messengers on a mission to bring over all the lingering spirits."
Even Jie approached Cang Li: "Sister, if you're going, I won't arrange for anyone else. That so-called God King Zeus is really annoying lately. You beat them up for me, and then send Ji on a business trip, taking the troublemakers with you... take Nezha, Wukong, and Yang Jian with you, so they'll understand who's the boss in the future."
Cang Li understood, and pulled Tai Qing along to the Western God Realm for "friendly exchanges".
Soon after, the gods of the Western pantheon witnessed what it meant to be full of martial virtue.
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