My current situation is really bad, like being stuck in a quagmire and unable to extricate myself.
My mother's control over me became increasingly tight, almost suffocating me. Her sharp eyes were always watching my every move, and if I disobeyed, she would harshly rebuke me and give me endless lectures.
I felt like a puppet in her hands, only able to move forward along the trajectory she set, without any autonomy.
Shen Jing, my beloved woman, cries every day, and her once lively eyes are now filled with grievances and resentment.
She was neglected in the general's mansion, her former glory gone, suppressed in every way by the sudden appearance of Chen Qing. Every time I saw her haggard face and forced smile, my heart felt like it was being cut by thousands of sharp blades, and it hurt so much.
And that Chen Qing, like a sudden meteorite, slammed into my life, disrupting everything that had been relatively peaceful. Her and Jiang Zhuo's collusion behind the scenes made my situation in the court even more difficult, and the ministers who had originally supported me began to waver and wait and see.
Not only that, my position in the palace has also faced many challenges.
Seeing my downfall, the other princes seized the opportunity to taunt me, slandering me in front of my father. My every word and action was magnified infinitely, and the slightest mistake would draw my father's displeasure and rebuke.
Amidst these internal and external troubles, my power was constantly weakening, and the authority I held was slipping away bit by bit. Just when I felt extremely desperate and lost, Princess Man Yue proposed to cooperate with me.
"Murong Zhi, as long as you marry me as your crown princess, I can provide you with all the help and help you ascend the throne." Princess Man Yue looked at me with firm eyes.
I gritted my teeth and replied, "Okay, as long as I can achieve my goal, I promise you."
At the banquet, I wanted to arrange for someone to secretly kill Shen Qing, but she didn't come. Anyway, I set a wedding date with Princess Man Yue.
But I didn't expect that Shen Qing had already taken action. She grabbed Rong Qing and cut off all the flesh from his body. Rong Qing was seriously injured, but he refused to identify Shen Qing.
"Rong Qing, who hurt you like this?" I asked anxiously.
Rong Qing shook his head weakly.
I think he must have been threatened.
So I decided to get Jiang Zhuo out of the way, arrest Shen Qing, and force her to sign a confession.
I privately summoned the Minister of Justice, Chu Ting, and asked him to feign illness, saying he was seriously ill and unable to handle Ministry affairs. Then I recommended Jiang Zhuo to the Emperor to go to Pizhou to investigate the case and to ensure he was sent away.
Chu Ting agreed.
The next day, he followed my plan. Weakly, he informed the Emperor in court that he was gravely ill and unable to perform his duties. He strongly recommended Jiang Zhuo to Pizhou to investigate the case. The Emperor, unsuspecting, immediately ordered Jiang Zhuo to depart.
Just like that, Jiang Zhuo was successfully sent away. I thought the time had come, so I immediately took people to arrest Shen Qing and force her to sign a confession.
But unexpectedly, before entering the Ministry of Justice, she had already arranged for Shen Jianshan to protect her.
The Emperor summoned us.
In the hall, she actually uttered wild words, saying that I intended to usurp the throne!
I hurriedly explained to my father, "Father, I have absolutely no such intention. This is all a false accusation by her!"
But for some reason, my brain seemed to be out of control, and I said a lot of inexplicable outrageous words.
My father was furious and locked me up and abolished my position as crown prince.
All my life's struggles had been for nothing. Trapped in this small, dark room, I languished alone, filled with regret.
Just then, Shen Qing came.
"Murong Zhi, I did all of this, including what happened to Rong Qing. Because of the Qingshan Temple incident, I will make you pay the price!"
I glared at her angrily, "You vicious woman!"
I was demoted to a commoner, but fortunately my mother secretly supported me, so I was able to survive.
I live in wait, waiting for the Shen family to become the next Song family. Yes, I know about the Song family's affairs, and I also know that Song Siyao was also killed by my father.
The Song family's reputation was too good to be true of the royal family, so it was doomed to die soon. The same was true for the Shen family and Shen Qing.
Sure enough, the emperor found an excuse to secretly send Shen Jianshan to the front line, just to pave the way for the subsequent confiscation of property and extermination of the entire family.
But I didn't expect that Shen Qing and Jiang Zhuo would actually rebel.
What's worse is that they won.
Shen Qing became the emperor!
She threw me on the street, leaving me to beg for a living. My hair was disheveled, my clothes were ragged, and my former dignity was gone.
Shen Qing stood in front of me, looking down at me with no mercy in her eyes. The guards behind her were like a wall, isolating me from the outside world.
"Murong Zhi, this is your end!" Shen Qing said indifferently, his voice seemed to come from an ice cave in the cold winter, which made me shudder.
I raised my head and looked at her face full of hatred. I wanted to say something, but found that my throat seemed to be blocked and I couldn't utter a word.
She turned and left, leaving only one sentence: "Keep a close eye on him, don't let anyone help him, and don't let him commit suicide."
Those guards stared at me like vicious wolves, preventing me from even thinking of escaping.
The cold wind on the street howled, blowing through my thin body, and my heart had already been broken by the endless humiliation and despair.
I just watched the people coming and going in the capital, listened to Shen Qing's stories, and regretted my decision.
"Please be kind and give me something to eat." I stretched out my dirty hands and pleaded with a trembling voice to the passers-by.
People just hurried past, casting disgust and contempt on me. Their eyes were like sharp blades, cutting into my heart again and again. Some covered their mouths and noses and quickened their pace, as if I were the source of the plague;
The honor and glory I once had are gone, and now I am just a beggar despised by others. Back then, when I traveled, I was surrounded by people, and wherever I went, people knelt down to pay homage to me. I never lacked fine clothes and delicious food.
And now, I am huddled on this street corner, begging for even a scrap of food. This huge gap makes me feel so painful that I want to die. Every minute and every second is like being in purgatory.
I looked at those indifferent figures, my heart filled with regret and helplessness. This trick of fate made me fall from the clouds and shattered to pieces.
Every night, when I lie on the cold street corner, I think of the past, the lofty position of crown prince, and the glorious future that should have belonged to me.
If, if I could do it again...
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