Chen Qingqing glanced at Fan Tong. The system had just given a notification that this person was not only greedy, stingy, selfish, and cold, but also lecherous. She could choose to treat him herself, play pranks on him, or make him lose money.
Since that's the case, it wouldn't be my style not to make him suffer a little.
She said solemnly, "Master Fan, this is a stubborn ailment. Acupuncture can only alleviate the symptoms; to completely cure it, you must combine it with herbal medicine."
Fan Tong was surprised that Chen Qingqing was really capable. She only used silver needles to prick his belly button a few times, and his belly stopped itching.
The previous disdain had vanished from his face, replaced by a hint of respect in his eyes.
"Then I'll have to trouble you, Miss Chen. Please feel free to prescribe the medicine."
Chen Qingqing sneered inwardly, "You old lecher, you try to take advantage of me the moment we meet. If I don't teach you a lesson today, I'll be doing a disservice to your name."
She feigned some difficulty, "What Master Fan said makes a lot of sense, but this prescription is very special, and I'm afraid you won't be able to take it!"
“Miss Chen, what are you saying? I just said that I’m willing to eat shit as long as I can live.” Fan Tong waved his hand at Shi Taishou beside him, “Go and prepare paper and ink quickly.”
"Yes, sir, I'll go right away." Shi Taishou quickly prepared the writing brush, ink, paper, and inkstone.
Chen Qingqing picked up her pen and wrote a prescription, handing it to Fan Tong. "Master Fan, please get the medicine according to the prescription. Remember, not a single ingredient can be missing; missing even one ingredient will ruin the whole effort."
"Don't worry, Miss Chen, I'll instruct the servants to prepare it right away." Fan Tong looked down and his previously smug expression instantly froze. "This... can this thing be eaten?"
Shi Taishou was somewhat puzzled. He stepped forward, took a look, frowned, and couldn't help but blurt out, "Oh dear, these things are indeed hard to swallow."
Mrs. Fan rolled her eyes in exasperation, "Look at you all, making such a fuss! What kind of medicine is this? It tastes awful!"
"Let me see." Fan Hun stepped forward, took the prescription, and read aloud, "Five pig gallbladders, two ounces of Coptis chinensis, two ounces each of ginger, scallions, garlic, licorice root, Saposhnikovia divaricata, and Schizonepeta tenuifolia..."
"Bitter gall and coptis chinensis, these two things are too bitter, how can anyone drink them!" Madam Fan grimaced upon hearing this.
Fan Hun couldn't help but burst into laughter after reading it. "It's scallions, ginger, garlic, and licorice root. Isn't this just a stew of bitter gall and coptis? This stuff must be very potent. My dad could drink a whole pot of it."
"You fool, acting silly again." Fan Tong frowned, looking extremely uncomfortable. "Miss Chen, these two things are too bitter. Could you please change them to something else?"
Chen Qingqing was secretly pleased, but she didn't show it on her face. She said seriously, "Good medicine tastes bitter but is good for the disease. If you want to live, you must use these two medicines."
Fan Tong frowned deeply. "What kind of effects can pig gallbladders have? This is the first time I've heard of something that can cure diseases."
"You don't understand!" Chen Qingqing pretended to be serious and explained in order to dispel their doubts. "Although bitter gall is bitter, it has the effects of clearing the upper and lower parts of the body, promoting diuresis and reducing swelling, and clearing heat and detoxifying. Coptis chinensis is the same. It not only clears heat and dries dampness, but also drains fire and detoxifies. The two herbs can clear and reduce, and neither can be missing."
"Then what about scallions, ginger, and garlic?"
"Scallions, ginger, and garlic are pungent in nature and can disperse, thus having the effects of relieving exterior symptoms, promoting qi circulation, and invigorating blood."
"Oh, I see." Fan Tong nodded repeatedly after hearing Chen Qingqing's reasonable explanation, and his worries disappeared. "Alright, alright, Miss Chen, don't worry, I'll have someone prepare the medicine right away, and I guarantee that the pig's gallbladder will be eaten."
Chen Qingqing waved her hand, "Don't rush. While preparing the medicinal herbs, we also need to prepare the medicinal guide. If you don't have the medicinal guide, even if you eat ten pounds of gall, it won't work."
"What? We need a medicinal guide?" Fan Tongyi looked bewildered and scratched his head. "Miss Chen, what medicinal guide? Is that stuff easy to find?"
Chen Qingqing's face was tense. "It's easy to find. The medicinal ingredient is horse urine."
"What? Horse urine? That stuff can cure diseases? You're not kidding, are you?!" Fan Tong's eyes nearly popped out of his head in shock.
Chen Qingqing slightly curled the corners of her mouth, her expression serious. "Who is joking with you? Horses are divine creatures of the dragon nature, belonging to the yang category. Their urine can dispel wind and dampness, promote urination and reduce swelling. You have evil wind in your navel, and to get rid of it completely, you must use horse urine."
Fan Tong pounded his head in frustration, exclaiming, "This strange disease is infuriating! To survive, I have to eat bitter bile and drink horse urine. What kind of karma have I created?!"
Madam Fan frowned in disgust, but still persuaded, "Sir, Miss Chen's medical skills are superb. Her prescription is definitely correct. Let's take the medicine according to the prescription!"
"You make it sound so easy. That horse urine is so foul and smelly, how can anyone swallow it?" Fan Tong rolled his eyes at her angrily.
Fan Hun couldn't help but laugh out loud, "Father, you just said that you would eat shit as long as it would save your life. Now Miss Chen hasn't even made you eat shit yet, she's just making you drink some horse urine. Just bear with it, hold your nose and pour it down!"
Fan Tong stomped his feet in anger, "You bastard! I was just saying it casually. Who knew there was medicine made from urine? You can't even drink that stuff. Just smelling it would probably make you vomit your guts out."
"Father, what you're saying is a bit much. I remember you used to be very close to a girl named Hu Jiao at the Chunfeng Pavilion. You loved smelling her scent, saying she had an intoxicating floral fragrance."
"I couldn't contain my curiosity and went to find it once. My goodness, it wasn't the scent of flowers at all, it was just rouge and powder mixed with body odor. It almost made me vomit. I had to hold my nose and deal with it. If you can stand that smell, you can't enjoy horse urine? I don't quite believe it." Fan Hun said, shaking his head.
These words infuriated Madam Fan. She slapped her thighs and lashed out at Fan Tong, "You old lecher! You have such a hobby! Which concubine at home can't satisfy you? Why do you still seek out that slut for pleasure? I think you'll die of itching. I won't even give you horse piss to drink."
"Madam, don't be angry. There's no such thing at all. Hun'er is just talking nonsense." Fan Tong stamped his feet anxiously and kept giving his son meaningful glances, hoping that he would help cover up the matter.
Fan Hun completely ignored him, stiffened his neck, and said, "Who's talking nonsense? I'm telling the truth. If you don't believe me, ask Steward Shi. He can testify."
Shi Taishou quickly shook his head and waved his hand at Fan Hun, signaling him not to talk nonsense. He then casually explained to Madam Fan, "Madam, please calm down. This is all baseless. Master is still ill. It's not too late to explain to you after he recovers."
"Alright, I'll settle the score with you later." Madam Fan glared angrily at Fan Tong, then smiled at Chen Qingqing, "I'm sorry, Miss Chen, you must have found this amusing. According to your opinion, how much horse urine is appropriate, and how should it be taken?"
......
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