Chapter 46 Honesty: Will She Still Want Him?
The Pei Ji before her was someone she had never seen before.
Where is that gentle and kind demeanor that he had when he helped her with the bill at the food stall, and when he said "I don't blame you" under the peach tree?
Where is the refined gentleman who would meticulously dry her hair, secretly feel annoyed by her joke, and persistently search for her on a rainy night?
He might kill her at that moment!
When Pei Ji saw that it was Yu Man standing at the door, the murderous intent in his eyes receded like a tide, but the sharpness and tension did not completely dissipate. He seemed to be stunned for a moment, then his brows furrowed almost imperceptibly, as if he had not expected her to appear here.
"Xiaoman?" he called out, his voice still hoarse, but he tried to soften his tone, "Why are you here?"
He took a step closer to her.
As he approached, the pungent smell of blood became even more overwhelming, almost suffocating. Yu Man instinctively took a half step back, his heel bracing against the threshold.
This subtle movement caused Pei Ji to stop in his tracks instantly.
He saw the undisguised fear and...estrangement in her eyes. He looked down at his blood-soaked body, then at the still-dripping dagger in his hand, and seemed to understand something. He silently sheathed the dagger at his waist with a soft "click."
“Don’t be afraid,” he tried to make his voice sound gentler, “these people… are suicide squads.”
He tried to explain, his gaze fixed on her, not missing a single subtle change in her face.
Don't be afraid of me.
Yu Man simply stared at him, at his face stained with blood.
She suddenly remembered what the system had once said—[The male lead in the original novel was truly a military general, the kind of ruthless person who slaughtered his way through the capital.]
She always thought it was just an exaggeration, a story that never happened and could perhaps be changed.
Only now, witnessing this scene before her, did she suddenly realize—this wasn't part of the script. It was another side of him, one he had never shown her before.
"Pei Ji..." She finally found her voice, but it was terribly dry. "Who...who are you?"
She didn't ask "Are you alright?" or "Why did these people kill you?", but instead asked the most important question directly.
Who are you, standing amidst mountains of corpses and seas of blood, your hands stained with blood, yet deceiving me for so long with a gentle exterior?
Pei Ji looked at the doubt in her eyes, his Adam's apple bobbing. Deep within his eyes surged a complex and indescribable emotion.
He did not answer immediately.
The wind blew again, carrying a heavy, fishy smell. Yu Man seemed to hear, faintly, Master Chu's calm, unwavering voice coming from the direction of Huai Shan Tower:
"Now you see."
Who exactly is he?
Yu Man watched as Pei Ji stood motionless in the pool of blood. After she asked him a question, a murderous intent she had never seen before gradually appeared on his face, and he raised his hand, which was stained with dark red blood.
He drew the blade at an extremely tricky and sharp angle with his wrist, then suddenly flicked it—not tossing, but more like swinging it.
A flash of cold light grazed past her left ear! The speed was so fast that the strong wind it generated made her ear hurt, and a few strands of her severed hair slowly drifted down.
"Pfft—"
The dull thud of a blade piercing flesh came from behind, followed by a suppressed but still audible groan of pain, and the sound of a heavy object falling to the ground.
All of this happened too fast. In the blink of an eye, Yu Man didn't even have time to react. Her mind went blank, with only the system's sharp alarm ringing wildly in her head, reminding her of the extreme danger she had just faced by brushing with death!
"Close the door!" Pei Ji's voice came decisively, with an unquestionable tone of command.
Almost simultaneously, the sound of air being torn apart came from all directions! At some point, dozens of assassins wielding sharp blades and wearing black masks silently emerged from the shadows of the courtyard and on the rooftops, like lonely ghosts under the moon, aiming directly at Pei Ji, who was isolated and helpless in the center of the courtyard!
Yu Man's heart tightened. Watching the blood-soaked figure instantly engulfed by the flashing swords, almost instinctively, she turned around abruptly and slammed the heavy wooden door shut with all her might, bolting it shut! After doing all this, she felt as if all her strength had been drained. Leaning against the cold door, she slid to the ground, panting heavily.
Her gaze fell upon a short distance inside the door, where the short blade Pei Ji had hurled had precisely pierced the throat of a man. He wore a black mask, his eyes wide open, already dead. Only then did she belatedly realize—Pei Ji's earth-shattering attack hadn't been aimed at her at all, but at the assassin who had infiltrated behind her at some unknown time!
He... was saving her.
But... who exactly is Pei Ji? Why would he attract so many well-trained, relentless assassins? Master Chu's words about the Gongshan Army and the secrets of the previous dynasty kept echoing in her mind.
She needs to know the answer!
Yu Man suddenly stood up, ignoring her still weak legs, and staggered upstairs. She needed to find Master Chu and get some answers!
However, the lecture hall on the fifth floor was already empty. The prayer cushions remained, and the teacups on the low table still retained a little warmth, as if the unfathomable old man had only temporarily left.
Yu Manxin sank down. She checked everything again before returning to the first floor. Leaning against the tightly closed door, she knew the fighting outside was dangerous, but she didn't want to stay far away.
The sounds of fighting, clashing weapons, groans, and falling to the ground outside the door came incessantly, like a storm. Through the thin window paper, one could only see blurry figures clashing and attacking, accompanied by splashes of liquid that stained the window paper with spots of scarlet.
Yu Man could only console herself by trying to ignore the noise.
After an unknown amount of time, the sounds outside gradually subsided. Finally, a deathly silence descended.
Yu Man subconsciously turned around, her back to the door, her heart pounding in her chest.
However, there was no movement at the door.
Instead, a clanging sound rang out, like the sound of a weapon falling from a hand. Immediately afterward, there was a faint, heavy thud as someone sat down heavily on the stone steps in front of Huai Shan Lou, as if they had exhausted all their strength.
Then, unable to suppress it, the man coughed twice:
“Aman.”
He paused, then coughed again, seemingly catching his breath before continuing, his voice lowering.
"I'm sorry."
I scared you.
Hearing the clearly abnormal cough coming from outside his door, Yu Man couldn't help but frown. The cough was wheezy, as if it had damaged his lungs. Suppressing the turmoil of emotions surging within her, she asked the question that had been nagging at her for so long, through the door:
"Who...are you?"
There was a moment of silence outside the door, broken only by the mournful sound of the night wind blowing through the eaves. Then, Pei Ji's voice came:
"He... must have told you a lot of things."
He didn't answer directly, but instead spoke slowly in a tone as if recounting the past:
"Emperor Xuan passed away, leaving behind a will. He divided the Gongshan Army into five parts, ordering the Prince of Yuzhang to lead one of them to the far-off frontier to permanently guard the northern border." His voice was calm. "But... the Princess Consort of Yuzhang and all her children must remain in the capital."
Yu Man understood instantly—this was a demotion in disguise, and his family members were being held hostage!
“The Prince of Yuzhang… received the imperial decree and went to the northern frontier. A year later, he received a letter from his family in the capital, informing him that his eldest son… had died suddenly from an illness. The Prince’s mansion was now left with only one son.” Pei Ji’s speech remained steady, yet it carried a chilling undertone. “The Prince of Yuzhang submitted a memorial overnight, pleading to return to the capital to visit his son, but the young emperor rejected his request on the grounds that ‘the border is of utmost importance, and princes should not leave without permission.’”
Two months later, the second son also died of illness. Upon hearing the tragic news, the princess died of angina that very night.
The sounds outside the door paused for an even longer period.
"The Prince of Yuzhang's lineage has ended." Pei Ji's voice rang out again. "At this point, the Prince of Yuzhang has finally decided... to rebel."
"Unfortunately, fate was against him." He coughed lightly twice. "Before he could fight his way out of Gongshan, he... died suddenly from an illness. The cause of death is unknown."
The past seems to have come to an abrupt end here.
Separated by just one door, both inside and outside were utterly silent.
However, Pei Ji did not finish his sentence; he then began to recount a seemingly unrelated event from the past:
"And I... before I was three years old, I lived with a woman. Life wasn't good; we often went hungry, but... it wasn't too bad either. She couldn't speak, so I called her... sister."
Amidst the frequent pauses, a very faint sigh was unusually uttered.
“Until she died of illness. I wandered for half a month, and then… someone found me.” His tone was somber. “He delivered me to Pei Mingyuan, who was being pursued by the imperial court and was fleeing in panic.”
"At that time, the Pei family was involved in the dynastic change and was ordered by the Empress Dowager to exterminate three generations of their family. The only survivors were Pei's father, an unfavored son who had been ostracized from the family in his early years, and his loyal maid."
“At first, they were struggling to survive themselves and didn’t want me, a burden of unknown origin,” Pei Ji’s voice lowered. “Until… the person who found me said something to Pei’s father.”
Outside the door, his breathing seemed heavier, tinged with a mocking tone:
“He said… ‘This child is the only offspring of your sister who disappeared many years ago… Lady Pei.’”
His words stopped there.
Through the door, Yu Man processed the suffocating truth, her mind racing to connect all the clues. The person who found young Pei Ji and handed him over to the Pei family couple… she asked almost instinctively:
"That person...was it Master Chu?"
Outside the door, Pei Ji did not deny it, his voice carrying a strange calm: "It is him. Chu Yanzong, the former deputy general of Gongshan Army, one of the most trusted confidants of the Prince of Yuzhang." He paused, but the next identity he uttered was like a thunderclap, "At the same time... he is also the current Empress Dowager's biological elder brother."
The Empress Dowager's own brother?!
Yu Man's pupils constricted sharply. This relationship was too terrifying, meaning that the power struggles of that year and the downfall of the Prince of Yuzhang's mansion were far more intricate and complex than they appeared on the surface, and might even involve palace intrigues.
Pei Ji brought up another long-forgotten event, his voice tinged with the lingering echo of memories:
“I remember… when I was ten years old, there was a rumor in the village that bandits were coming, so everyone hid in the cellars in advance. The two of us… fell behind because we secretly ran out to pick wild fruit.”
Yu Man certainly remembered it. It was one of the most thrilling experiences she could recall.
“We ran into the mountains, and someone was chasing us,” Pei Ji continued, calmly recounting the harrowing experience of that year. “You twisted your ankle, and I pulled you along as we ran, running blindly… and we accidentally rolled down that steep slope.”
At the time, they all thought the pursuers were ruthless bandits. Looking back now…
"There might be bandits from the village taking advantage of the chaos. But the ones who chased us into the mountains and tried to silence us... weren't bandits." Pei Ji's voice turned cold. "They came following Master Chu's movements. Master Chu came to Dongqing County and secretly entered Shanqing Academy. Those people then assumed that Master Chu must still have connections with the remaining members of the Gongshan Army. Especially... after he made an exception and accepted a poor boy who seemed to have no background as a student."
This poor fellow naturally refers to him, Pei Ji.
"They wanted to test Master Chu by killing me."
Yu Man suddenly realized that the time her mother found them in the mountains, she was furious and gave her a good beating. It wasn't just because she was injured, but also because she was terrified—if they had encountered bandits, they really wouldn't have made it back.
Pei Ji finished speaking in one breath, then coughed a few times to steady his breathing before finally answering Yu Man's initial question completely:
Before leaving the capital to guard the border, Prince Yuzhang had a premonition that something might happen in the capital, and he needed to make two preparations. He ordered his confidants to find some respectable women, among whom happened to be the unmarried young lady from the Pei family who came to visit relatives in the northern frontier.
His words paused here, carrying a heavy, unspeakable weight.
"A month later, military doctor Chen Chang diagnosed... that Lady Pei was pregnant."
Yu Man's heart sank suddenly, and she vaguely guessed the unbearable truth.
“The situation was urgent, and the Prince of Yuzhang could not keep her by his side. He secretly sent her to a small town far from the strife. To prevent her from revealing the secret, he…” Pei Ji’s voice was hoarse, “He gave her a drug to make her mute.”
Yu Manyu, who was inside the door, was stunned for a moment. Just one sentence was enough to make one imagine the twisted pain that had been inflicted.
“So,” Pei Ji’s voice regained its composure, “I do have the blood of the Prince of Yuzhang flowing in my veins, but my mother is a young lady from the Pei family. I am a pawn planted by the Prince of Yuzhang.”
"Over the years, I have been secretly investigating, and it was only recently that I finally confirmed my true identity. I am both a descendant of the Prince of Yuzhang and a member of the Pei family."
Inside the door, all was deathly silent.
This is far more complex and cruel than simply dealing with the orphans of a royal family.
Outside the door, Pei Ji leaned against a cold pillar, the moonlight casting an eerie darkness on the half-dried bloodstains on his face. He tilted his head back, his Adam's apple bobbing laboredly, each breath aching as if from internal injuries or a sharp pain in his heart.
Every word was frank.
He dug out the rotten, filthy roots from beneath the barely maintained, warm skin called Pei Ji, and laid them out before her.
What was her reaction? Fear? Disgust? Or... complete, utter detachment, as if she were looking at something filthy?
A cold, venomous sense of despair crept up his spine, gripping his heart tightly, tightening and tightening until it brought a suffocating pain.
I can't live without it.
This thought gnawed at him like a leech, frantically growing in the darkest corner of his heart… He didn't know what he would become without her. Perhaps, he would utterly degenerate into a true demon, devoid of any humanity, a creature that knew only killing.
I can't bear to part with it.
Another, sharper emotion, like fine needles, repeatedly pierced his reason. He had never intended for her to see this side of him. He had always tried his best to play the role of a gentle gentleman.
But tonight, everything is ruined.
She was afraid of him.
This realization almost wanted to torture him to death!
Dark thoughts surged up uncontrollably like bubbles at the bottom of a swamp—what if… what if she really wanted to leave?
She hid her away... even if she was filled with resentment, she could only have eyes for him alone?
The thought carried a morbid allure, almost making his fingertips tremble.
But the next second, an even greater wave of self-loathing overwhelmed him.
Two extreme emotions were tearing him apart, almost ripping his soul. He leaned against a pillar, his body trembling slightly from the silent, intense struggle. Cold sweat mixed with blood soaked his inner shirt, making it colder than the night wind outside.
He closed his eyes in despair, a metallic taste rising in his throat, which he forced down.
Just as Pei Ji's spirits sank to the bottom, almost swallowed by the shadow of self-abandonment—
"Creak—"
A soft yet clear sound came from behind me.
It was that wooden door he thought would never open that was slowly pulled open a crack from the inside.
Pei Ji suddenly opened his eyes, almost holding his breath, staring at the increasingly clear shadow of Yu Man peeking through the crack in the door...
A moment later, he realized he wasn't dreaming.
Then, he heard that familiar voice… her unique, somewhat inappropriate, irritable voice in this situation:
"Aren't you getting up? Are you planning to sit by the door until dawn?"
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Author's Note: I uploaded it as soon as I finished writing it. Thank you to all the little ones for your support! [Milk Tea emoji]
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