Chapter 69 Thinking, So I Can…
“...That’s how it is.” Yu Man calmly recounted her conversation with Xiu Xiu that evening to her parents.
The words fell silent. Deng Sanniang sat there, her eyes suddenly reddening, her lips trembling, but no sound came out. To her, Xiuxiu was also her heart and soul. But these past few days, Er'an's illness had been fluctuating, and she, already weak after childbirth, had to manage household affairs, keeping her so busy that she had truly neglected Xiuxiu.
Yu's father also looked grave, his usually honest face filled with guilt. He rubbed his hands and after a long while said in a hoarse voice, "It's all my fault... I've been so busy with the shop and Er'an that I haven't paid attention to Xiuxiu... Ah Man, thank goodness you're back." He looked at Yu Man and made a decision, "For the time being, you should take care of the food shop first, so that I can free up some time to look after the family."
Yu Man shook her head: "Father, Er'an is still an infant and needs careful care. Mother also needs to rest. You've run the food shop for a long time, you know the people well, and it runs smoothly. If you suddenly hand it all over to me, it's easy for things to get chaotic." She paused, then offered a suggestion she had been thinking about for a long time, "How about we hire someone to come to our house to help? They can take care of Er'an and handle miscellaneous tasks, so that Mother can rest well, Father can take care of the shop with peace of mind, and Xiuxiu will have someone to keep her company."
"Hire someone?" Deng Sanniang hesitated. "That...wouldn't that cost a lot of money?"
Father Yu nodded first, his thoughts becoming clearer: "Aman is right. Third Sister's health... is indeed a bit too much for her. She can't sleep well at night and has no energy during the day. It's worth spending some money to hire a reliable person. As for doing one's best..." He looked at Yu Man, "Since you brought it up, you must have a plan in mind."
Yu Man nodded: "Mother, don't worry about the money. The food shop has been doing well lately and can afford it. Tomorrow we'll find a reliable broker, pick a capable and experienced aunt, draw up a contract, and clearly define the rights and responsibilities. That will save us a lot of trouble."
Seeing that Yu Man and his father had considered everything carefully, Deng San Niang no longer objected and nodded in agreement.
Yu Man smiled again and said, "Xiuxiu's birthday is in a few days. Let's make it a big celebration for her this year. We'll prepare new clothes and delicious food. Parents should also spend more time with her and make up for what we missed before."
The next day, Yu Man accompanied her father to the well-regarded brokerage firm in the prefecture. Yu's father initially wanted to find a woman among his familiar neighbors, but Yu Man gently persuaded him against it: "Father, money is a small matter, but relationships are important. It's only right to do a good job with someone you know. If there are any mistakes or disputes over money, it will only damage the relationship and make it difficult to see each other in the future. It's better to follow the rules from the beginning and get things done cleanly and efficiently."
Finally, after some selection and inquiry, they settled on an aunt surnamed Kong. Aunt Kong was nearly fifty, with a kind face and nimble hands. Her children and grandchildren were filial, and she lived a comfortable life. She was simply too busy to work and had extensive experience caring for many infants in her younger years. After a few days, she took excellent care of Er'an, managed household chores efficiently, and spoke and acted with tact. The entire Yu family breathed a sigh of relief, and the atmosphere at home visibly became more relaxed and harmonious.
On Xiuxiu's birthday, the weather was perfect, with warm spring sunshine.
Early in the morning, Deng San Niang personally dressed Xiu Xiu in the pale yellow cotton dress embroidered with small intertwined flowers that Yu Man had brought back from the capital. She styled her hair into two delicate and adorable buns, and adorned them with two small silk spring flowers. The little girl in the bronze mirror had curved eyebrows and eyes, red lips and white teeth, and had completely shaken off the listlessness of the past few days.
After breakfast, Mr. Yu laughed heartily, lifted Xiu Xiu high on his shoulders, and said, "Come on! Daddy will take our birthday girl for a horseback ride!" Xiu Xiu's face flushed with excitement, and she hugged her father's head tightly. The father and daughter set off from their house, slowly walking along the familiar streets and alleys. Mr. Yu pointed out various places as they walked, telling stories of Xiu Xiu's childhood. When they encountered familiar neighbors, they greeted them cheerfully, receiving a string of blessings such as "Happy Birthday Xiu Xiu!" and "You're getting more and more beautiful!" Sitting high on her "horse's back," Xiu Xiu had a wide view and her laughter was clear and crisp.
After wandering around for a while, I returned home to find a meal prepared by Yu Man herself laid out on the table in the main room. There were no fancy dishes, but they were all Xiu Xiu's favorites: translucent shrimp dumplings, cute little rabbit-shaped red bean buns, sweet mushroom soup, and a sweet soup with carrots carved into small flowers.
The family sat around the table, and Yu Man rolled a perfectly boiled red egg in front of Xiu Xiu, saying, "Eat the red egg, and you'll be safe and healthy." Deng San Niang then put the largest shrimp dumpling into her bowl. Er An, held by Aunt Kong, waved her little hands and babbled as if celebrating her sister's birthday.
As they were chatting and laughing, there was a gentle knock on the courtyard gate. Yu Man got up to open it, and standing outside was Wen Qi, the young master from next door. He was also dressed in a clean lake-blue outfit today, his hair was neatly combed, and he was holding a small object wrapped in a handkerchief in his hand. When he saw Yu Man, he bowed shyly and said, "Sister Yu, I've come to see Xiu Xiu."
Xiu Xiu ran over upon hearing the noise, her eyes sparkling. Yu Man smiled and stepped aside, then leaned against the door of the main room, watching the two little ones talk through the doorway.
Wenqi untied the handkerchief in his hand, revealing a small, polished peach wood lock strung with a red cord. He handed it to her, his voice earnest: "Xiuxiu, may your birthday be blessed. This... I polished it myself. Wearing it... will bring you peace." Xiuxiu took it, examining it with curiosity, a hint of pride—a small smile of being treated with such respect—on her face. But she asked, "You made it yourself? Did you cut your hands?" Wenqi quickly shook his head, the tips of his ears turning slightly red.
One was mild-mannered and good-tempered, the other was intelligent and slightly spirited; it's no wonder they were childhood sweethearts. Yu Man thought.
Two days later, early in the morning, Gu Qiu came to bid farewell to Yu Man. He was still as taciturn as ever. After bowing, he did not leave immediately, but stepped aside to let a girl who had been standing quietly behind him pass.
The girl was about fifteen or sixteen years old, slender, and dressed in a slightly worn gray cloth dress, which was very clean. Her face was calm, even somewhat wooden, except for her exceptionally bright eyes, which were now lowered and her posture was respectful.
“My lady,” Gu Qiu said in a flat voice, “this woman… I rescued her by chance, and she is all alone and destitute. I am about to return to the capital and it is inconvenient for me to take her with me. I implore you to give her a place to stay.” He spoke simply, but his eyes carried a subtle hint of pleading.
Yu Man sized up the girl for a moment. Although she was thin, she stood steadily, and there were fine calluses on her finger joints, so she didn't seem like someone who had never done any work. She simply nodded: "Okay, it'll be good to have another hand at home."
Gu Qiu seemed relieved and clasped his hands in thanks, saying, "Thank you, young lady." He turned to leave, but then stopped, turned back, and a hint of hesitation flashed across his usually expressionless face as he asked, "Wife... will you still go to the capital?"
Yu Man raised an eyebrow, looking at him with a half-smile: "Is this a question you, Gu Qiu, wanted to ask yourself, or is it on behalf of someone else?"
Gu Qiu's expression tightened, and he immediately said, "It was my presumption to ask." He paused, as if he wanted to explain something, but in the end he only added dryly, "...I just think that the capital...is quite nice." After saying that, he dared not say anything more, mounted his horse, and galloped away.
Yu Man looked in the direction where the dust had settled, shook his head, and chuckled softly, his meaning ambiguous.
She turned to the girl who had remained silent and said gently, "Let's go inside, you..."
“He’s lying.” The girl suddenly spoke, her voice clear but flat, interrupting Yu Man.
Yu Man was taken aback: "What?"
The girl raised her head, her clear eyes looking directly at Yu Man, and said succinctly, "It wasn't unintentional that I was saved." She paused, as if organizing her thoughts, and continued, "I was sold to an underground casino... as a slave. Number thirty-two. He," she pointed in the direction Gu Qiu had left, "was investigating a gambler when he saw me... I was quite nimble, and I killed a thug who tried to humiliate me. Then, he bought me with silver."
Looking at the girl in front of him, Yu Man had a thought flash through his mind—just like in those stories where the male protagonist gives his shadow guard to the female protagonist to protect her.
"So, it was Pei Ji... Lord Pei who sent you here?" Yu Man asked tentatively.
Unexpectedly, a look of confusion flashed across the girl's eyes. She shook her head and explained, "I don't know Pei Ji. He only said," she pointed in the direction Gu Qiu had left, "that he would take me to see someone, and that person would be my future master. I saw you."
Wasn't it placed next to her on purpose?
“I have no name,” the girl said again, her tone flat. “Those people call me Thirty-Two.”
Yu Man composed herself and said gently, "How about I name you? However, I've only ever named my younger brother, so I might not be able to give you a good name."
The girl asked, "What's his name?" She was referring to Gu Qiu.
“Gu Qiu”.
“I want the same name as him,” the girl said immediately, her tone carrying a direct stubbornness.
Yu Man was speechless for a moment, then pondered for a while, and tentatively used her meager knowledge of antithesis to ask, "Valley to mountain, autumn to spring... how about 'mountain and spring'?" She picked up a twig from the ground and wrote the two characters on the mud.
The girl looked down and nodded, "My name is Shan Chun." She took a step back, as if to kneel down, "My lord..."
Yu Man quickly reached out to stop him: "There's no need for that. My surname is Yu, you can call me Sister Yu or Madam, you don't need to call me Master."
Shan Chun readily agreed, straightened up, nodded, and said no more.
Yu Man then led her into the house, first arranging for her to eat and rest, and then tidying up an unused side room for her to stay in. To Yu's father, Deng San Niang, he only said that she was a maid bought from the slave market, and that she seemed honest and dutiful, so he kept her to help. With an additional person in the family, and although Shan Chun was quiet, she was observant and diligent, and Aunt Kong also had an extra helper, everything went more smoothly.
Once everything at home was settled, it was time for Er'an to be officially included in the family genealogy. Yu Man wrote the name he had already chosen in neat regular script on red paper—Yu Taozhi. Tao is the name of a river, and it also implies gentleness and clarity. The name was presented in the ancestral hall, and after receiving the approval of the clan elders, it was considered officially settled.
After noon, Yu Man wandered alone to the familiar peach tree.
It was late spring, and the peach blossoms were lush and verdant, their shade like a canopy. The surroundings were clean, clearly indicating that someone came to sweep regularly. She sat quietly for a while, spoke a few words in hushed tones, and as she finished, the indescribable turmoil in her heart caused by returning home seemed to dissipate somewhat with the breeze. When she stood up, her steps were much lighter.
By the time they returned home, dusk had fallen. Deng Sanniang was still awake, sitting alone on the couch by the east wing window, sewing by the light of an oil lamp. Yu's father went into the room to coax Er'an to sleep.
Yu Man quietly went in and sat down next to Deng San Niang, watching her embroider. On the small table beside the couch, several newly made summer shirts were already folded, made of light and thin linen and fine hemp, in elegant colors.
"Mother, is the work at the embroidery shop so rushed? You've only just recovered, don't overwork yourself," Yu Man said softly.
Deng San Niang's hands never stopped, her needle and thread flying steadily. Without looking up, she smiled and said, "This isn't from the embroidery workshop. It's for you. The weather is getting hot soon, and the summer clothes in the capital are probably luxurious but not breathable. This material is ordinary, but it's breathable and absorbent, so it's comfortable to wear. I saw that the pattern is simple and easy to cut, so I started making it first."
Yu Man was slightly taken aback: "Summer clothes? Isn't it still early?"
Deng San Niang then stopped her needlework, looked up at Yu Man, and said knowingly, "What do you mean by 'early'? Aren't you... going to the capital? Once you go, the journey is long and arduous, and who knows when you'll be back. I was thinking that while I have some free time now, I should prepare a few more sets of clothes for you. No matter how good the capital is, it's still not as safe as home."
A rare hint of unease flashed across Yu Man's face: "...How did you know..." She thought she had hidden it well, and she had not told anyone about her confusion and struggle about whether to stay or leave.
Deng Sanniang put down her needlework, her smile carrying the wisdom of someone who had been through it all, along with a touch of mischief: "Ever since you came back from the capital, you seem quite settled, but sometimes you're lost in thought while staring at the account books at night. And these past few days you've arranged everything at home so perfectly... I'm afraid you're preoccupied with people and things, and you're still undecided."
Yu Man pursed her lips, which could be considered an admission.
She did indeed plan to go to the capital, but she remained hesitant about taking that step.
Deng San Niang saw through her thoughts, but instead sighed and her tone became even gentler: "We've watched Pei Ji grow up. His character, appearance, talent, and family background are all impeccable. Your father and I have also seen how much he cares for you. We used to think you were too young, but now he's established himself, and you've made your own decisions... If you both love each other, I think it's a good match."
She didn't use fancy words, but based on her life experience, she spoke in the simplest and most straightforward way: "Aman, I'm a rough person, I don't understand all those complicated principles you scholars use. I only know that it's not easy to find someone who truly cares for you and treats you sincerely in this lifetime. Since you two are in love right now, and he's reliable, then don't overthink things and waste your precious time. Cherish the present and live your life well, that's more important than anything else."
She paused, her voice slowing, yet each word clear: "As for the future... who can say for sure? We mortals can't fathom the will of Heaven. If there truly comes a day when our fate runs its course, it will be because you yourselves can't go on. If that day comes, we can take it all in and let it go, each of us living our own lives, still able to find joy! Even without relying on anyone, we can stand on our own two feet!"
These words were sharp and straightforward, yet they also revealed a sense of wisdom and open-mindedness that comes from experiencing the trials of life.
Yu Man whispered, "Then...can I...?"
Deng Sanniang smiled with satisfaction, about to give an affirmative reply: "Of course..."
"no!"
A suppressed voice suddenly rang out from the doorway.
Yu Man and Deng San Niang turned their heads at the same time, only to see Yu's father standing by the door, his face flushed, his chest heaving slightly, and still holding the rattle drum he had used to soothe the child. He looked at Aman with eyes full of heartache.
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