Chapter 54: Sending me away will never happen.
Yu Man didn't expect that she would fall asleep so easily. In her drowsy state, she seemed to hear Xiao Tao calling her softly outside the door to have dinner. She mumbled "I'm not hungry" and then fell into a deep sleep again.
When I woke up again, it was pitch black outside the window, with only a few dim yellow lights shining through the lanterns hanging under the eaves. The feeling of emptiness in my stomach finally became clear.
She got up, casually threw on an outer garment, tidied her slightly disheveled hair, and pushed open the door. The corridor was quiet, except for a waiter carrying a basin of hot water, walking towards a guest room at the end of the corridor.
"Brother Er," Yu Man called out to him, "Is there any food left in the kitchen right now?"
The waiter stopped and turned around, his face apologetic: "I'm so sorry, madam, it's really unfortunate. The cook had an emergency at home tonight and went home early."
Upon hearing this, Yu Man was not surprised and simply nodded: "It's nothing. Are there any vegetables or ingredients readily available in the kitchen?"
"Yes, yes," the waiter nodded quickly, freeing one hand to point out the direction for her, "Madam, go down this staircase, and the room with the light on on the left side of the backyard is it."
"Thank you." Yu Man thanked him, straightened his clothes, and walked in the direction the waiter pointed.
The wooden staircase creaked softly in the quiet night. She had only taken a few steps when she heard footsteps coming from the stairs to her right, unhurried and mingling with the sounds from her side.
She instinctively turned her head to look.
Where the moonlight and lantern light intertwined, Pei Ji was slowly descending the steps. He had changed out of his dusty black clothes and back into a more casual blue straight-across robe, his dark hair tied up with a simple jade hairpin, just like before.
He walked up to her, maintaining a perfect distance—neither too intimate nor too distant—and asked in a clear, gentle voice, "Are you hungry?"
Yu Man did not answer, nor did she even shift her gaze, and continued walking straight toward the kitchen in the backyard.
Pei Ji wasn't annoyed; he simply followed her half a step behind in silence, his gaze fixed on her slender and upright back.
Is she still angry, or is she really too hungry to pay attention to him?
The inn's backyard was small, paved with bluestone slabs, with a stone-built courtyard in the middle. Looking up, one could see a small patch of dark blue night sky, dotted with a few scattered stars. The evening breeze drifted through the corridors, carrying the lingering chill unique to the capital in March.
Just as Yu Man was about to step into the half-open wooden door of the kitchen, Pei Ji, who had been silently following behind her, spoke again. His voice was softer than the night breeze, yet it reached her ears clearly:
"Xiaoman".
Yu Man paused almost imperceptibly, and even felt a little dazed.
Therefore, she didn't immediately stop him as before, but she also didn't respond. She simply stopped at the kitchen doorway, with her back to him.
Pei Ji watched her retreating figure, ultimately swallowing back the words he was about to say. He stepped forward and gently unfolded a thick cloak that had been draped over his arm, draping it over her shoulders.
His movements were practiced and natural, just like countless winter days before.
"It's late at night and the wind is strong; you can easily catch a cold."
His voice remained gentle, as if there had never been months of separation and estrangement between them.
The cloak, carrying his cool aura and faint body heat, kept out the chill of the night wind.
Yu Man froze for a moment, but did not push him away.
Then, Pei Ji walked past her and entered the kitchen first. He glanced around, bent down and moved a clean little wooden stool from the corner of the wall. He carefully wiped off any non-existent dust with his sleeve, and then placed it at the entrance of the kitchen, a spot where she could avoid the smoke and fire from the stove, but where he could see her at a glance.
“Please sit for a while,” he said, rolling up his sleeves. “I’ll do it.”
Yu Man remained silent, but obediently moved her feet and sat down on the small stool. She didn't look at him, her gaze fixed on the small patch of night sky above the courtyard.
Pei Ji said no more and turned to get busy.
He first scooped up some water and carefully washed the vegetables in the kitchen—cabbage, green onions, and fresh meat wrapped in lotus leaves.
In the March nights in the capital, the water was still icy cold, and his hands quickly turned red from the cold, his knuckles even feeling slightly stiff when he moved them.
Yu Man's gaze seemed to be fixed on the sky, but out of the corner of her eye, she unconsciously glanced at his hands, which were immersed in cold water, and her heart was filled with mixed feelings.
Fearing that Pei Ji would notice, she quickly looked away.
The moment she looked away, Pei Ji, who was washing vegetables, seemed to sense something and turned to look at her.
She sat there, wrapped in his cloak, appearing even thinner. Her chin seemed a little sharper than before, and there was a hint of weariness in her eyes.
It's easy to see that she must have had a tough time running the food stall and dealing with the state government's business all by herself these past few months.
He looked at the ingredients available in the kitchen; the variety was limited, and they were all common vegetables. After a moment's thought, he abandoned the idea of stir-frying and instead found a small earthenware pot, deciding to stew a pot of hot soup for her. Hot soup would be more comforting.
Yu Man watched the commotion on his side, but her mind was on something else.
This capital city is indeed bustling, but she always felt that even the sky was shrouded in a lingering fog, heavy and suffocating.
In the silence, she suddenly spoke, her voice very soft:
"Pei Ji, do you want to stay in the capital?"
Although he knew it was pointless to ask such a question, if he passed the imperial examination, he would definitely stay in the capital.
Pei Ji was putting the chopped cabbage into the casserole when he heard this. He didn't stop at all, but lowered his eyes and watched as wisps of steam began to rise from around the casserole, blurring his expression.
He didn't answer directly whether he wanted to or not, but instead said in an almost calm tone:
"I'll leave tomorrow."
"What?" Yu Man was stunned, then turned around in surprise to look at the figure with his back to her by the stove, wondering if she had misheard.
Pei Ji calmly raised his eyes, turned around, and looked at her across half of the kitchen. The flickering firelight reflected on his profile, creating a play of light and shadow.
He looked at her still astonished eyes, and a faint smile appeared on his lips.
“Tomorrow, I will go back to Dongqing County with you.” He repeated, his tone serious, without a trace of joking. “If you don’t like the capital, then I don’t like it either.” He paused, looked into her eyes, and said clearly, word by word, “We’ll go home.”
He spoke with almost childlike seriousness.
Yu Man had never quite understood where the inexplicable, lingering resentment in her heart came from.
Pei Ji hadn't left without saying goodbye; he had even made proper arrangements for her life in Laizhou and came to find her as soon as he returned. Yet, her heart felt heavy, like a lump of cotton was stuck in it, neither rising nor falling.
Until this moment, upon hearing his words, "We won't take the exam, we'll go home," the tangled mess of cotton seemed to reveal the hidden thread within—she didn't want to follow that damned original plot, but she also didn't want to see Pei Ji easily abandon all his plans just for her sake.
That's not what she wanted.
She exhaled a deep breath, then suddenly smiled, a smile tinged with a mixture of relief: "What about the imperial examination? They just said they wouldn't hold it?"
Pei Ji held a soup ladle, slowly swirling it in the pot, watching the bubbling stew, his tone as calm as if he were explaining what to eat tomorrow: "No exam."
Yu Man's heart softened at first, then a slight pang of heartache resurfaced, mixed with an indescribable emotion. She deliberately put on a stern face and said in a teasing tone, "Then I'm not happy either."
Pei Ji's expression softened further at her unexpected words, and the tense atmosphere between them since their reunion eased somewhat because of her familiar tone. He followed her words, his voice gentle: "Then what would make you happy?"
Yu Man tilted her head and thought for a moment, then turned her gaze back to the night outside the window, her tone becoming somewhat elusive: "The capital city is also very nice, with beautiful porcelain and all kinds of rouge, it's definitely worth a visit."
Her tone shifted abruptly, tinged with a barely perceptible melancholy, "But perhaps I can't stay still. One day, if I want to leave," she paused, emphasizing the word, "you'll have to see me off."
The word "send".
Pei Ji understood the deeper meaning. It wasn't an ordinary farewell; it meant letting go, that if she wanted to leave, he couldn't stop her, he could only see her off.
His hand gripping the ladle, his knuckles turning slightly white from the force. Steam rose from the edge of the casserole, blurring his eyes, which had momentarily darkened.
After waiting a long time for his reply, Yu Man turned her head in confusion and asked, "Hmm?"
In her mind, if two people have truly reached a point of no return, then separating might be the best choice for both of them.
At least, that way she wouldn't suffer the same tragic fate as in the original story, right? Thinking of this, she couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow.
Pei Ji closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them again, his eyes were filled with a deep calm. He didn't even notice the burning pain in his knuckles from accidentally touching the edge of the scalding hot pot.
“…Okay,” he replied.
As Yu Manyi turned back to gaze at the night sky in a daze, Pei Ji's gaze slowly shifted to the large water vat filled with clear water beside him. The calm water reflected the flickering lamplight in the kitchen, and also his face at that moment.
The reflection in the water showed a pale face in the flickering firelight, and the eyes that usually held a gentle smile were now unfathomably deep, filled with dark turmoil.
That day will not come; he will not allow it.
...
After finishing a bowl of steaming hot vegetable soup, the comforting warmth of the food dispelled much of the chill and emptiness throughout Yu Man's body. She put down her spoon and let out a satisfied sigh.
Pei Ji watched her quietly until she finished eating, his gaze gentle, as if simply looking at her could fill the void he had felt for months. Only when she put down her bowl and spoon did he begin to clean them up silently, taking them to the basin to wash.
Yu Man waited for him to finish tidying up, and the two walked back. Just as they were about to part on the wooden stairs, she seemed to suddenly remember something and paused.
She turned around and ran back to Pei Ji, who was standing behind her looking at her.
Pei Ji looked at her with a hint of inquiry as she returned.
The fire in the stove had died down, and the moonlight and the light from the lanterns under the eaves mingled and fell on his profile, revealing a hint of weariness in his eyes, but his gaze remained focused on her.
"What do you want to say? Hmm?" His voice was gentle.
Yu Man didn't speak immediately, but simply shook her head. She reached out and tentatively grasped his hand, which had just been soaked in cold water.
Sure enough, it's still very cold.
She said nothing, but silently took off the cloak that was still warm from her body. Then, standing on tiptoe, she clumsily draped the thick cloak back over his shoulders and carefully tied the strap around his neck.
After doing all this, she looked up, her voice soft and filled with concern:
"You've had a long and tiring day, take a good rest."
Her answer was not words.
Instead, a cool hand suddenly rose up, its slender fingers gently lifting her chin.
Caught off guard, Yu Man was forced to look up. The next moment, the person opposite her leaned down and placed a silent but burning kiss on her lips.
The kiss, carried the coolness of the night breeze, was not tender; it was more like an instinctive confirmation—confirming her existence, confirming the reality of the moment, confirming that no matter what separated them, the invisible thread would always connect them tightly.
Yu Man could only passively endure the sudden kiss, letting him do as he pleased.
Fine, I'll let him off this time.
After an unknown amount of time, Pei Ji slowly released her, his forehead pressed against hers, his breathing still somewhat rapid.
He chuckled softly in her ear.
"Today will be a sweet dream."
Yu Man coughed twice, said "I'm sleepy," turned and ran, his figure quickly disappearing around the corner of the stairs leading to the second floor.
When she ran back to her room with her heart pounding, she tiptoed open the door, afraid of waking Xiao Tao.
By the dim light coming through the window, she saw Xiaotao sleeping soundly on the bed, breathing evenly.
Yu Man breathed a sigh of relief, tiptoed off her outer garment, and carefully lay down in bed, afraid of making the slightest noise.
However, as soon as I close my eyes, the scene from just now keeps playing in my mind.
She opened her eyes and quietly gazed at the bluish-gray bed curtains above her head.
"It's over," she thought.
It's keeping me from sleeping well.
The next morning, just as dawn was breaking, Xiao Tao woke up as usual, preparing to get up and wake the coachman to arrange the return to the prefectural capital that day.
She had just sat up and rubbed her eyes when she saw that her wife was also staring at the top of the tent with her eyes open, her eyes slightly dark, clearly indicating that she hadn't slept well last night either.
"My lady, you're awake? I'll go and call Uncle Wang to prepare..." Xiao Tao said, getting out of bed.
"No need." Yu Man yawned widely, her voice tinged with weariness, and waved her hand. "I won't leave for now."
"Huh?" Xiao Tao paused, blinking in confusion. "We're not leaving? Wife, didn't we say we were going back?"
"Hmm, I've changed my mind." Yu Man turned over, her tone somewhat indistinct. "Go tell the waiter to extend the room fee for a few more days."
Although Xiao Tao didn't understand why her mistress had suddenly changed her plans, seeing that she seemed unwilling to say more, she obediently agreed: "Okay. Then... how many more days?"
Yu Man closed her eyes, her long eyelashes trembling slightly, as if after a brief moment of thought, before speaking softly in a tone that seemed casual yet carried a hint of determination:
"Let's do it after... the imperial examination."
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Author's note: Me: Didn't you see it that day?
Meibao: Yeah, I know. It's not a bad thing that he knows martial arts!
Me: ...Is it possible that I meant to say your childhood friend is very... (Where's the male ghost?)
He dared not utter the last three words under someone's threat.
System [bursting into tears]: You understand me now.
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