Chapter 10: Don't scare her with your thoughts.
This statement was so abrupt that Yu Man didn't have time to react.
Seeing Pei Ji's expression, she felt even stranger. He clearly had a smile on his face, but he looked like a clay Bodhisattva statue halfway up a mountain, with a damaged appearance and faded paint.
The electronic voice that had been dormant in my mind for several days suddenly seemed to be triggered by some kind of alarm, blaring out sharply:
[Warning! Warning! Target's emotional state is fluctuating abnormally! Host, please answer with caution! Repeat, please answer with caution! *Buzzing sound*—Danger—!]
The sudden, crackling scream made Yu Man's temples throb, and he instinctively furrowed his brow, a look of discomfort flashing across his face.
What did it say?
Pei Ji, whose gaze remained fixed on her, took in every subtle change in her expression. When he saw her frown, his heart sank, and the dodder vines that had been clinging to him seemed to shrink instantly as if doused with deep well water.
He couldn't scare her, absolutely not. He knew all too well that there were certain dark things about him inside, and if exposed to her, it would only drive her away, or even... make her disgusted.
Almost instinctively, the tense, almost dangerous aura surrounding him vanished instantly, the darkness in his eyes fading quickly, replaced by his usual gentle warmth. He even took a step back, his tone softening, carrying just the right amount of disappointment:
“I was too hasty.” He lowered his eyes. “After marriage, you will inevitably face many trivial matters that will tie you down. You are naturally inclined to be quiet and carefree, so it’s understandable that you worry about these things. I am not an unreasonable person. If you want to wait a few more years, I am willing to do so.”
His strategic retreat, which served as a pretext for her advancement, even made excuses for her; every word he uttered seemed to be for her benefit.
The system noise in Yu Man's mind was still buzzing, but the intensity had weakened, as if it were also observing the changing situation. Looking at Pei Ji, who seemed somewhat pitiful, and hearing his words, she ignored the system and was overwhelmed by a mixture of pity and helplessness.
Perhaps it was the vulnerability on his handsome face that made her feel so sorry for him, but she couldn't help but be distracted and, as if possessed, reached out and gently stroked his cheek with her warm fingertips.
Sensing this slightly intimate gesture, Pei Ji breathed softly, forced himself to remain calm, raised his hand to cover her, and savored this moment of tenderness.
"Don't overthink it," Yu Man thought for a moment, then explained, "I'm not unwilling." She paused, then gave a seemingly reasonable explanation, "I just feel that we are both still young. Right now, you need to focus on your studies at the county school and prepare for the upcoming autumn imperial examinations. This is a crucial time. If we rush into marriage now, it will inevitably distract you. If it delays your future, wouldn't that be my fault? It's better to wait a while until your studies are more stable."
She blinked, showing no remorse for pinning all the blame on Pei Ji.
Pei Ji raised his eyes, his gaze filled with emotion. He took her hand, which she was trying to pull away from, and said, "So that's how you see me... I'll do as you say. Let's discuss marriage after the autumn imperial examinations, shall we?"
Yu Man nodded. The autumn examination was in August, which meant there were still three months left. They could postpone it as long as possible.
...
After Yu Man's family left, the Pei family courtyard immediately fell silent. Pei Ji's smile vanished instantly. Without lingering, he went straight to his father's study.
As Pei's mother was carrying a plate of freshly boiled fruits out of the kitchen, she saw her son walking calmly toward the study. Then, she caught a glimpse of her husband in the study and knew that the father and son must have something to say. So, she quietly placed the fruits on the table in the main room and turned to go to the backyard, leaving them alone.
Inside the study, Pei Mingyuan was admiring a newly acquired calligraphy and painting on the wall with his hands behind his back. Hearing footsteps, he didn't turn around, but simply asked, "How's everything going at the village school?"
“Yes, children may be mischievous, but they can be disciplined,” Pei Ji replied, his voice calm and even. He stood behind his father, his posture as straight as a pine tree, still displaying the impeccable demeanor of a gentleman.
Pei Mingyuan turned around and looked at his son, who was outstanding in appearance and already had the air of a young man. A hint of satisfaction flashed in his eyes. This child had never disappointed him since he was a child. His studies, character and appearance were all outstanding.
"I have something to tell you," Pei Mingyuan stroked his beard, his tone tinged with pleasure. "A few days ago, the headmaster sent me a letter through someone. He mentioned that the selection for the prefectural school is approaching this autumn, and he intends to recommend you. The prefectural school is the heart of the prefecture's literary tradition, a gathering place for renowned teachers, far superior to the county school. If you can enter the prefectural school and become a disciple of a great Confucian scholar, it will greatly benefit you in next year's autumn examination. I have already replied and accepted this matter on your behalf."
He paused for a moment, then continued with his instructions: "The busiest time in the fields is almost over. Once the farming is done, pack your things and set off for the prefectural school as soon as possible to settle down. This will allow you to familiarize yourself with the environment and prepare for the exams with focus." He spoke slowly and deliberately, showing the consideration of a father and a teacher.
After finishing his speech in one breath, Pei's father felt a little thirsty. He picked up his teacup, took a sip, and asked, "Is there anything missing?" He thought Pei Ji would, as usual, respectfully accept the order.
However, Pei Ji slowly raised his eyes, his gaze calmly landing on his father's face. His expression was so serene that it made Pei Mingyuan feel slightly uneasy. He spoke, his voice not loud, but each word clear and carrying an undeniable weight:
"Why is Father so eager to send his son to the state school? Besides considering his son's future, is it also... to temporarily avoid the marriage with the Yu family?"
Pei Mingyuan's composure froze instantly. The fingers holding his beard paused slightly. His first thought was that he must be drunk. How could he hear his usually well-mannered son spouting such nonsense? Realizing that he hadn't drunk a drop of alcohol today, he looked at Pei Ji with scrutiny and astonishment.
He thought he had done it discreetly, postponing the marriage under the pretext of his studies, thus preserving the Pei family's dignity and giving both sides time to think it over. However, he never expected his son to be so blunt in revealing the truth, and in such an accusatory tone.
The air in the study suddenly became thin and heavy. Pei Mingyuan finally understood that this scholar had come not to listen to his teachings, but to demand an explanation for the peasant girl and to question him, the father, about his decision.
Looking at Pei Ji's still handsome but cold face, Pei's father realized for the first time that his son, who had been very opinionated since childhood, had already slipped out of his control in some ways that he had not noticed.
His thoughts had been exposed, and he felt a little embarrassed, but more than that, he was offended and angry. He suppressed his anger and tried to reason with them, but his voice involuntarily rose a few decibels: "Yes, I admit that our Pei family owed a debt of gratitude to the Yu family's grandfather, and we arranged this marriage as a way of repaying that debt. But over the years, haven't we helped the Yu family enough? Guanzhen, ask yourself, since you were old enough to understand, when has the Yu family ever encountered difficulties without our secret assistance? This debt of gratitude has long been repaid, and right now, you have more than enough to help Yu Man."
He took a deep breath and spoke earnestly, thinking that Pei Ji felt he had broken his promise, and explained, "A marriage contract is a verbal agreement, not a hard and fast rule. Even if it were to be fulfilled, there's no need to rush it now. You are a scholar now, and you will eventually become a provincial graduate, or even a metropolitan graduate. Your future lies in the capital. How can you be confined to this small yellow earthen slope because of this old marriage contract, marrying... a peasant girl who will be of no help to your career?"
He finally voiced the thought that had been lingering in his heart, hoping that Guanzhen could understand his good intentions and prioritize the overall situation.
However, Pei Ji remained unmoved upon hearing this. Instead, a faint smile curved his lips, the smile failing to reach his eyes and instead giving his face a mocking look. His voice was steady, yet each word was sharp:
"Pay it all back? Father, do you really think that a few bushels of rice and a few bolts of cloth can repay the kindness of Grandfather Yu who rescued you from a pile of refugees when you were on the verge of death with a high fever, and who gave up his meager food to feed you during that year of severe drought, while his family almost starved to death?"
He paused, looking at Pei Mingyuan's face which had suddenly changed color, and continued slowly, "Or is it that what you truly hope for in your heart is not that your son will succeed in the imperial examinations and serve the country and its people, but that one day I can return to the capital in glory, carrying the Pei family name?"
The word "Pei" struck Pei Mingyuan like a thunderbolt. His face turned deathly pale, as if his most sensitive spot had been touched. He slammed his hand on the table, abruptly stood up, and pointed a trembling finger at Pei Ji, shaking with rage: "You unfilial son! You...you dare speak to your elder like that! Who told you?! Who was it?"
His chest heaved violently, his refined demeanor vanished, leaving only shock and anger at being struck where it hurt.
Pei Ji merely watched Pei Mingyuan's outburst with indifference, as if observing a farce that had nothing to do with him. Only when Pei Mingyuan was panting heavily did he leisurely drop another message:
“Father, please calm down. Headmaster Chen may not have had time to write to you in detail about the state school. So let me tell you clearly—” He leaned forward slightly, each word distinct and clear, “I will not go to the state school. Nor will I participate in the autumn examination.”
A deathly silence fell. Pei Mingyuan stared wide-eyed at Pei Ji, as if he couldn't understand what he was saying. Not going to the prefectural school? Not participating in the autumn imperial examination? What about all his years of hard study, all the hopes of his Pei family?
"You...you say it again?" His voice was dry and hoarse.
Pei Ji straightened up, his expression indifferent, as if stating a simple fact: "I say, I have decided to abandon my pen for the sword. The border is unstable, and this is the time for men to make their mark. The path of the imperial examination is not what I desire."
He stopped looking at Pei's father's face, which had instantly turned ashen, as if all his energy had been drained away. He turned around, opened the study door, and then stopped, as if suddenly remembering something.
"As for the marriage," he paused for a moment at the door without turning around, his voice carrying an unquestionable tone, "you don't need to worry. I will follow my father's orders regarding the marriage with the Yu family, and I will carry out the three letters and six rites without any mistakes."
After saying that, he left, leaving Pei Mingyuan standing alone in the study as dusk deepened, muttering to himself, "...I was wrong, I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have..."
A note from the author:
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