Then Su Lin lowered his head and recalled: "There was a young lady at a poetry gathering who was very fond of me. She boldly confessed her feelings to me. I once asked her if she would still be fond of me if I were a woman or something like a eunuch."
Gu Mu hadn't expected this to happen, and couldn't help but ask curiously, "And then?"
Su Lin said calmly, "She said she was willing. Just looking at my face is enough. As for whether she's sexually happy or not, what does it matter?"
"It's also because there are too many young ladies who admire me. Actually... it causes me some trouble. That day, I already spread the word that... I am impotent... I thought that the young lady from earlier was just an exception. Once those young ladies know that I am impotent, they will give up and will no longer think about marrying me day and night, or even grow thinner and thinner..."
Su Linle paused, a regretful expression on her face. "However, very few young ladies were scared off. Those who were scared off seemed even more infatuated... They felt that my effeminate appearance, coupled with my genius achievements, combined with my impotence, would only make my past seem tragic..."
Gu Mu understood; the legendary beautiful, strong, and tragic figure.
It is destructive in any era and any dimension.
Su Linle looked up at the sky and sighed softly: "Moreover, they think I am impotent, but they still love me and never leave me. It is as if they gave me salvation in my darkest time. I will definitely love them wholeheartedly. Moreover, my innate condition limits me from being unfaithful or fickle. They believe that I can give them perfect spiritual love."
Gu Mu looked at Su Linle's face.
Those rich young ladies only said those things because they saw this face.
Otherwise, with so many eunuchs in the palace, each limited by their innate conditions to be fickle and unable to fall in love, each waiting in the darkness for salvation, why didn't those young ladies even glance at those eunuchs?
“I regret spreading those rumors…” Su Linle said with a worried look, “Because after that, not only Miss, but even young men with homosexual tendencies began to boldly express their love for me… Originally, they only kept their feelings for me to themselves.”
"Later..." Su Linle seemed to recall something painful: "After they heard that I was impotent, they all got carried away and thought that I shouldn't be with girls, that it was God's arrangement for me to be with boys..."
Su Linle said calmly, "While what they say is true to some extent, my heart belongs to one person, and I only love Your Majesty..."
“In order to drive away those flies, I suppressed those rumors again.” Su Linle continued to sigh: “But they said that since we have already taken the initiative, there is no reason to give up halfway. No matter what I do, what they love is my soul.”
What soul? It's just an appearance.
Su Linle and Gu Mu were both fully aware of this matter, yet they kept it to themselves.
“But I dare not disfigure myself, for fear that Your Majesty will be disgusted by it…” Su Linle looked at Gu Mu with a sorrowful gaze: “So I later became a loner and did not interact with anyone. Perhaps because I am too unapproachable, those who want to associate with me cannot find any opportunity. That is why there are fewer flies around me.”
Gu Mu nodded, understanding now. No wonder Su Linle usually seemed so aloof; that was the reason.
As a result, Su Linle's gaze towards him was still very sorrowful: "But I am young after all, and actually a woman. There are many things I want to share with others, but I keep them all bottled up inside. I feel that my heart is almost turning dark."
"..." Gu Mu looked at Su Linle's sorrowful eyes and felt that she was blaming him to some extent.
No wonder he's been holding it all in all this time; he's suddenly talking so much now.
Perhaps he had been harboring dark feelings inside, which is why he came up with the idea of associating with Shen Chao as a roundabout way to get closer to Gu Mu.
After bandaging her wound, Su Linle gave Gu Mu another sorrowful look before carrying the tent outside.
Back in his tent, Gu Mu found Shen Ling sitting at the table, her eyes half-closed, her expression inscrutable, making it impossible to tell what she was thinking.
Hearing Gu Mu walk in, Shen Ling turned her head and glanced at him, her eyes filled with complex emotions.
"Your Majesty, I wish to join the war," Shen Ling said, her beautiful eyes wide open.
Gu Mu was taken aback.
Shen Ling did go to the battlefield with him today, but for Shen Ling's safety, Gu Mu only allowed Shen Ling to stand at the rear of the battlefield to provide support.
She must have witnessed the cruelty of war firsthand today. Logically speaking, a girl of her age should avoid such a situation at all costs. How could she possibly volunteer to join the war?
“I was just thinking today that if you’re afraid of people, you should stay at the camp.” Gu Mu sat down next to Shen Ling, trying to persuade her: “You know, the battlefield is too dangerous.”
“I know it’s dangerous.” Shen Ling blinked her bright eyes, her gaze showing no fear. “But I don’t want to stand in the back and be protected by others.”
Shen Ling said seriously, "In terms of martial arts, I am better than those soldiers on the front line. Moreover, I can kill more enemies than them. If I were to go to the battlefield, many more of our soldiers could survive."
...
Outside the tent, Su Linle carried a medicine box.
When I applied the medicine to Gu Mu earlier, I forgot to remind His Majesty to drink the herbal medicine she had prepared beforehand.
Now, the medicine chest contains those herbs that were originally intended for His Majesty to drink.
As soon as she stood at the door, she heard His Majesty and the Empress talking.
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