I like you
Jiang Jingshu presented Xie Zhijin with a gift she had prepared—a potted aloe vera plant. Xie Zhijin stared at the aloe vera in his hand and asked, "Why did you give me this?"
"Xie Zhijin, do you know anything about aloe vera?" Jiang Jingshu stared into Xie Zhijin's eyes.
“I know aloe vera can heal the skin,” Xie Zhijin said, sharing his knowledge of aloe vera. However, Jiang Jingshu looked directly at him and asked, “Just for healing the skin?”
Jiang Jingshu gave him aloe vera because she wanted him to heal himself.
Healing his childhood experiences.
Aloe vera is also very resilient, which is exactly what Xie Zhijin (谢之津) refers to. She hopes that Xie Zhijin can also be like aloe vera, possessing the powerful ability to heal herself and growing upwards tenaciously and steadily.
However, she didn't tell Xie Zhijin explicitly; she simply told him, "I hope you can be like this aloe vera."
As she spoke, she handed her painting to Xie Zhijin, saying, "This is your painting, Xie Zhijin. Do you remember me?" Jiang Jingshu pointed to her painting as she spoke.
The painting depicts a girl squatting on the ground, with a boy standing in front of her, bowing to her. She says, "Xie Zhijin, in the painting you gave me last time, you painted me as the sun, but look at this painting of mine now." Jiang Jingshu's gaze shifts from the painting to Xie Zhijin, and she says, "Xie Zhijin, you are actually the sun."
Xie Zhijin pointed to himself, "You always use such beautiful words to describe me, Jiang Jingshu, I don't understand you anymore."
Jiang Jingshu didn't dare say anything more to Xie Zhijin. Behind this painting was Jiang Jingshu's unspeakable love.
Jiang Jingshu didn't know why she wanted to paint this picture. She had decided to sever all ties with the past, but she couldn't bear the feeling of not being able to see him. She always wanted to contact him and see him.
She wanted to tell him that he was like the sun, illuminating her path in darkness.
She was such a contradictory person. "Xie Zhijin, I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" Xie Zhijin stared at Jiang Jingshu. "Jiang Jingshu, is there something I did wrong?"
Jiang Jingshu shook her head.
"Why are you always so hot and cold towards me? Is it because I'm not doing well?" Xie Zhijin's tone was so gentle it was almost dripping with tenderness. Jiang Jingshu had never heard such gentle words before, but she had heard Xie Zhijin say them many times in this world.
Jiang Jingshu couldn't help but think, Xie Zhijin is so gentle, so gentle that it makes people want to get closer.
“No,” Jiang Jingshu said, but she couldn’t explain all this to Xie Zhijin. She couldn’t very well say that she was from thousands of years ago; that would be too absurd.
She told Su Xiaoyue about it, but Su Xiaoyue didn't believe her.
But looking at Xie Zhijin's remorseful expression, she felt like a sinner. She had made up her mind to let go of things several times, but it was just too difficult.
She even wondered if she could be willful just once before leaving.
But in the end, she still didn't have the courage. She didn't dare to gamble. She was afraid of her own pain and also afraid of the pain of the person in front of her. Jiang Jingshu was a timid person. She didn't dare to confirm love or believe in love.
So much so that she couldn't utter a single word when facing Xie Zhijin.
"Jiang Jingshu, can you tell me about it?" Xie Zhijin stared at her.
She dared not meet Xie Zhijin's burning gaze, and lowered her head slightly. "Xie Zhijin, you are a very good person."
"Then why don't you like me? Sometimes you even subconsciously distance yourself from me." Xie Zhijin's gaze was still fixed on Jiang Jingshu, his tone still gentle. "Why are you so good to me sometimes, preparing birthday surprises for me? Why?"
“Jiang Jingshu, you’ve been acting strange ever since that trip.” Xie Zhijin said, clutching the painting Jiang Jingshu had given him. “Now you say I’m your sun, but you also tell me not to come see you. Jiang Jingshu, what can I do to make you like me?”
Jiang Jingshu was a little sad. Before the trip, she was able to ask Xie Zhijin if he liked her because she didn't realize that her feelings for Xie Zhijin had changed. So she could stand by his side and be with him without any worries.
But the moment she realized her own feelings, she could no longer interact with Xie Zhijin as usual; she loved him.
Liking someone can make you cautious.
She was afraid of this feeling, so all she could tell Xie Zhijin was, "I'm sorry, you're a very good person, it's my fault, I won't let you misunderstand again, I'm so sorry."
"Is it a misunderstanding?" Xie Zhijin repeated Jiang Jingshu's words in a low voice, "Jiang Jingshu, I like you."
When Jiang Jingshu heard Xie Zhijin say "I like you," she froze on the spot, her heart pounding inside her.
"Jiang Jingshu, I like you. Please don't misunderstand this." Xie Zhijin's tone became urgent, and his cheeks and ears turned a suspicious red. "Perhaps my feelings have caused you trouble, so it has changed the way you and I interact. This is my fault, not yours, Jiang Jingshu. I've been telling you that I treat you as a friend, but I've been interacting with you with the intention of liking you. This is my fault."
Jiang Jingshu opened her mouth, wanting to call out Xie Zhijin's name, but no sound came out of her throat.
He once again blamed himself for the problem.
"Xie Zhijin, I'm not someone you should like. Find someone else to like, someone who can reciprocate your feelings. Your passionate affection shouldn't be wasted on me," Jiang Jingshu said, turning to leave.
But Xie Zhijin grabbed her wrist, saying, "I don't need you to reciprocate my feelings, Jiang Jingshu."
Jiang Jingshu stopped in her tracks upon hearing this, only to hear Xie Zhijin say, "I don't need your response. I just want to tell you that I like you. I feel that if I don't say it today, I'll never be able to say it again."
Xie Zhijin gave a self-deprecating laugh. "It's just that someone like me isn't worthy of liking you, Jiang Jingshu."
Jiang Jingshu shook her head, tears inexplicably welling up in her eyes, so much so that she didn't dare to turn around and look at Xie Zhijin. She forced back her sobs and said, "I'm sorry."
"Jiang Jingshu, forgive my rashness. I didn't actually plan to confess to you today, but I always felt that I wouldn't see you for a long time afterward." Xie Zhijin's words still echoed in Jiang Jingshu's ears, and Jiang Jingshu quietly wiped away her tears.
"Mmm." Her throat tightened, and she couldn't say anything else. She knew that after today, the two of them could no longer be friends.
"I'm leaving now. I hope you're happy every day. I'll keep this aloe vera and take good care of it until you come back." Xie Zhijin felt that he looked a little disheveled.
"Xie Zhijin, find someone else to like." Jiang Jingshu sniffed to avoid crying, and left first.
Just before she left, she heard Xie Zhijin say, "I will not change, I will never change in this lifetime."
She didn't stop because of those words; her retreating figure resembled a thief caught stealing and fleeing in panic.
She didn't know where to go; she just wanted to find a quiet place to cry her heart out. She didn't understand how things had come to this, or why the two of them had ended up like this.
Jiang Jingshu boarded a bus aimlessly, paid the fare, sat down, and opened the window.
She let the gentle breeze caress her face.
The tears seemed to have dried in the wind.
"Help, I think I hurt his feelings." She finally couldn't hold back her sobs, and tears streamed down her face like a burst dam.
"Your Highness, would you be willing to stay here indefinitely?" the system's voice asked.
“I don’t want to.” Jiang Jingshu shook her head. “This is not my home. I still have things to take care of when I return to the palace. I haven’t settled the nanny, I haven’t seen my father, and I haven’t said goodbye to Zhou Mingyuan. There are still many things I haven’t done when I go back.”
“Your Highness, I can let you see Zhou Mingyuan. You can entrust these matters to him and stay in the modern world. Your Highness will no longer be so sad.”
Jiang Jingshu shook her head. "Zhou Mingyuan has already helped me enough. I can't ask him for help or trouble him any further."
"What if he doesn't find it troublesome?"
“He will definitely think so.” Jiang Jingshu sniffed. “Actually, he has a hard time in the palace. Although he is my brother’s study companion, ever since he became friends with me, my brother has started to make things difficult for him. I am already very ashamed and do not want to hinder his career anymore.”
"Do you think he cares about these things?" The system's voice sounded somewhat anxious.
“Perhaps if I stop contacting him, he will suffer less from my brother’s targeting. I know this. If my brother finds out that he secretly arranged things for me, it will affect him.” Jiang Jingshu slowly said, “He has helped me so much, I can’t harm him.”
Jiang Jingshu's thoughts drifted back to the past. It was during one of the many Mid-Autumn Festivals she lived in the deep palace when the Third Princess stormed into the palace where Jiang Jingshu resided.
Jiang Jingshu was only ten years old at the time, and her nanny was beside her as she painted.
When Jiang Jingshu saw the Third Princess arrive, she quickly put down her paintbrush and said, "Third Sister."
Before he could finish calling her "Third Sister," the Third Princess slapped him to the ground. "Who's your sister? I don't acknowledge having such a worthless younger sister."
The old woman knelt beside her, pleading, "Third Princess, please calm down. The Seventh Princess is young and ignorant, and has offended you. Please forgive her."
"Seventh Princess, if you're having a hard time, don't drag others down with you." Third Princess Jiang Yang reached out and pinched Jiang Jingshu's chin. "Stay away from Brother Mingyuan. You've caused him to be punished by the Emperor, do you understand?"
"What?" Jiang Jingshu grabbed Jiang Yang's hand. "Why did you punish him, Your Majesty?"
"Why?" Jiang Yang sneered. "If he hadn't come to see you every few days, angering the Emperor, do you think he would have been beaten?"
Jiang Yang has liked Zhou Mingyuan since she was a child. She thinks Zhou Mingyuan is a handsome and refined young man. She once saw him from afar at her brother's residence and fell in love with him at first sight.
However, Jiang Jingshu did not get along well with her brothers and sisters in the palace, especially the Crown Prince and Jiang Yang. Both the Crown Prince and Jiang Yang were born to the Empress, and Jiang Jingshu's mother was the Empress's maid.
Jiang Jingshu felt helpless. She knelt on the ground and murmured, "It's my fault."
Jiang Yang only gave her a stern warning, telling her to stay away from Zhou Ming and not to jeopardize Zhou Mingyuan's career.
When Jiang Jingshu later saw Zhou Mingyuan, she asked, "Did my imperial brother punish you?"
Zhou Mingyuan, however, immediately noticed the handprint on Jiang Jingshu's face. He could only shake his head helplessly and order his servants to fetch wound medicine.
"If I cause your brother to punish you, then don't come to see me again."
Only after Jiang Jingshu said this did Zhou Mingyuan become somewhat displeased, saying, "It's none of your business."
"My brother doesn't like me, and I don't want to affect you," Jiang Jingshu said, feeling somewhat guilty.
“Is it because of me that you were affected? This slap was delivered by the Third Princess, wasn’t it?” Zhou Mingyuan handed the medicine to Jiang Jingshu. “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have been hit.”
"No!" Jiang Jingshu quickly shook her head. "No, it's not because of you, it's because of my third sister. She never liked me." Her voice gradually lowered.
“Yes, your brother has never liked me. What does that have to do with you? He just made up an excuse. Your Highness, please don’t say such things in the future, it will hurt our friendship.” Zhou Mingyuan explained to her in a serious tone.
However, this matter remained buried in Jiang Jingshu's heart.
Coming back to her senses, Jiang Jingshu said to the system, "I absolutely cannot delay him any longer."
But the system, unusually calm, said, "How do you know it's a delay if you didn't hear him say it himself?"
Jiang Jingshu didn't understand why the system was reacting so strongly. "Help, are you angry?"
However, the system returned to calm the next second. "Your Highness, is there anything you want to say to Zhou Mingyuan? I can pass it on to him. Whether he is willing to do these things or not, we have to hear what he has to say, don't we?"
Jiang Jingshu's tears hadn't dried when she heard the system's words again, "This is not difficult for him. If he knew that this could make you smile, he might even be happy about it. That way, you wouldn't have to grow any more agave, you could stay in this time and space, and you wouldn't have to suffer so much."
Jiang Jingshu shook her head and said to the system, "Thank you, helper."
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