She was born in a remote mountain village. Her parents disliked her because she was a girl and didn't even give her a name. Her mother worked in the fields even when she was pregnant, and later she had a stomachache and gave birth to her on a pile of straw.
When her mother saw the weeds on the ground, she casually said, "Just call them grass."
Xiaocao thought the name was apt. Her life was like a rootless weed, untended; yet, like the weed that could never be burned, it possessed boundless vitality, growing stronger and stronger.
Since she was born, she has basically only hung out in three places: the kitchen at home, the pond at the entrance of the village, and the fields at the end of the village.
There were seven or eight people in the family, and she was the only girl. She had to live on leftovers every day. Occasionally, her parents would reward her with a mixed flour steamed bun when they were happy.
When she was thirteen years old, her parents treated her better and better, and occasionally let her sit at the table to eat freshly heated meals, which made her a little flattered.
She thought that her hard work awakened her parents' love, until one day, a woman with a big mole on her face came to the village entrance.
All the girls in the village who were her size were pulled out by their families and stood in a row, like goods on a peddler's shoulder pole entering the village, for the woman to choose from.
Xiaocao just stood there in the corner, her face pale, her heart dead, and she bit her lips tightly without saying a word.
But despite this, after being raised for half a year, she gained some flesh on her face and looked pretty. Among the group of dark and thin women raised in the mountains, she immediately attracted the attention of others.
She listened quietly to her parents bargaining with the woman with the big mole.
It turns out that she needs to be fattened up and well-maintained so that she can be sold...
She was sold for a "high price" of one or two coins. The woman held her wrist tightly, afraid she would escape. Little Cao had no idea, she didn't. There was no point in running away.
She looked at her parents who took the silver and walked home excitedly without even looking back.
She no longer has parents or a home.
Xiaocao followed a dozen girls and followed the woman out of the mountain valley to the bustling city. They kept walking, and at each place they arrived, the woman would stop for a day, take a few girls out, and come back alone.
Half a month passed, and Xiaocao didn't know where she was. She was the only girl left from the group. Then, she was taken in by another young woman, confined to a small courtyard, learning the arts of music, chess, calligraphy, and painting. She changed her name to "Lotus."
Her dark yellow complexion became rosy, she grew taller, and her face became more mature.
Lotus was sent to a brothel, where she became an orphan who "sold her art but not her body." However, she learned from the sisters there that this was called "waiting for the price." When the price was right, she would "sell both her art and her body."
Lianhua stayed in Chunlou for half a year. When she turned fourteen, she was sold to a fat man by the owner of the building for fifty taels of silver.
Lotus thought she would be worth quite a bit if she were sold, but unfortunately, not a penny went to her.
She was quite happy as the master's concubine. She never went hungry and had the best food, clothing, and everything else. The only problem was that the master had some quirks in bed, which made her uncomfortable. But fortunately, the master only came once every three days.
Over time, the fat man seemed to have forgotten her existence, visiting her only once every ten days. She gradually grew lonely, her thoughts wandering all day. In this constant loneliness, it was no surprise that she was drawn to the young peddler who roamed the streets.
The peddler only needed two sweet candies to win her heart. Because she had never eaten candies as a child, she would drool in her dreams when she saw them.
Later, their affair was exposed, and the fat man sold her back to the brothel, but the peddler had already been frightened and abandoned her and ran away.
From then on, Lianhua became a prostitute who only sold her body in Chunlou.
She waited on customers day and night until her body became numb, and it seemed her heart was numb too. It wasn't until she was twenty that someone finally came to redeem her.
The man was a widower, very poor. He had saved for two years to gather five taels of silver, and he wanted to buy himself a wife. However, his reputation for beating his wives had spread throughout the streets, so he had no choice but to look for one in a brothel. He happened to see Lotus and thought she was virtuous and obedient.
Lotus lowered her head and went home with him. She didn't say anything, and neither did the host. For women like them, drinking contraceptive soup for so long would have ruined their bodies. Who knew when they would finally get pregnant?
In the first year after Lotus was redeemed, her husband was relatively kind to her. Later, when they couldn't have a child, his true colors began to show. He would beat and scold her at every turn, but he was too concerned about his money to beat her to death. If another wife died, he wouldn't be able to find a new one.
Five years after being redeemed, Lianhua finally became pregnant, and her husband was so happy that he held a three-day banquet.
When the child was three years old, a natural disaster struck. The family had no money, and her husband was a useless alcoholic, so life was really difficult.
The man wanted to sell her secretly to get money to buy food, but she was alert and he failed.
She only thought that even a tiger would not eat its own cubs, but she did not expect that some people were so hungry that they were worse than animals.
One day, after collecting wild vegetables, she returned home and found a small bag of grain in the corner. The man was fast asleep in his bed. She searched everywhere for her son but couldn't find him. A neighbor kindly told her that the child had been sold.
Lotus sat silently under the eaves, enjoying the breeze, her heart as if someone were clutching it tightly and not letting go. Miraculously, she didn't cry. Perhaps she had seen through the past half of her life, and tears were useless except to show weakness to outsiders.
She didn't make any noise or fuss, but was quieter than usual, and sometimes even smiled while talking to others.
She made a long whip out of vines on the mountain, smeared itchy grass juice on it, and then practiced whipping with an expressionless face.
On a dark and windy night, she tied up the drunk man, stuffed a rag into his mouth, and then whipped him hard with the long whip with thorns to wake him up.
The wound was painful, itchy and numb, and the man's eyes were bloodshot.
But Lianhua showed no mercy, whipping him harder and harder. She rested when she was tired, then whipped him again when she remembered him. Three days later, perhaps dying of starvation, thirst, or pain, the man died with his eyes wide open.
Lotus looked at his cold body, but felt boundless pleasure.
Later, she didn't know when she changed, she couldn't bear to see others live a good life. The more lives she took, the happier she became.
Life is born with pain, and no one is exempt.
Lotus tried to die twice but failed, she felt it was God's will. No matter if the disaster lasted for a thousand years or the weeds could not be eradicated, she finally became a superior person.
Until she was shot in the chest by an arrow from the Liang family army in a palace.
Before she died, Lianhua didn't think about anyone, but what appeared before her eyes was the poor mountain village that she once hated so much.
If only her parents hadn't sold her, if only her parents loved her a little more.
If so, it would be better if she had not been born. Life is born in pain, and she was in too much pain.
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