Chapter 1: A Harem of Three Thousand at the Start—Wouldn't that surprise you, muscular man?
Yun Zhan felt as if he had been repeatedly run over by a ten-ton truck and then thrown into a washing machine, his brain almost turning into tofu.
He struggled to open his eyes, and what came into view was not the ceiling of his rented room, which was piled up like a doghouse with instant noodle boxes and historical materials, but... a bright yellow curtain embroidered with a menacing golden dragon.
The scent lingering around my nose was no longer the mixed smell of takeout, but a strange incense.
"Hiss—" Yun Zhan suddenly sat up and looked around. The room, with its carved beams and painted rafters, antique style, and spacious enough to run a horse, exuded an aura of "I am very rich, I am extremely rich, I am damn rich".
He looked down at the silk nightgown that had slipped off his body and felt incredibly soft, then touched the ridiculously large and excessively soft dragon bed beneath him.
An absurd yet ecstatic thought struck him like lightning.
I've traveled through time?!
He tumbled and scrambled off the ridiculously large dragon bed, his bare feet landing on the cool, smooth gold brick floor, and rushed to a huge bronze mirror.
The person in the mirror had a slightly pale complexion, but handsome features, red lips and white teeth, and an air of... well, pampered weakness? In any case, he was definitely not the real him—a corporate slave who stayed up all night working overtime, with thinning hair and dark circles under his eyes that almost reached his chin!
Yun Zhan pinched his cheek. "Ouch—it hurts!"
This isn't a dream! I really have traveled through time!
He, Yun Zhan, a miserable office worker who graduated from the history department in the 21st century, was either overwhelmed by his boss's empty promises or buried by piles of historical materials. He actually... actually won the lottery of time travel!
Look at this setup, this grandeur, these dragon patterns... Holy crap! The Emperor!
Has this incredible wealth finally come his way?
"Hahaha! God, you've finally opened your eyes!" Yun Zhan was so excited that he spun around twice on the spot. "From now on, I'm the emperor! I no longer have to get up early to squeeze onto the subway, no longer have to work overtime to write PPTs, and no longer have to see my boss's constipated face!"
What is the ultimate dream of a modern man?
Awake, I wield power over the world; drunk, I rest my head on the lap of a beautiful woman!
Power is a bit abstract for now, but beautiful women are a certainty! Three palaces, six courtyards, seventy-two concubines! Beauty of all shapes and sizes, three thousand beauties! Night after night of revelry, indulging in pleasure and oblivion of the world! From then on, the emperor neglects his morning court... hehehe...
Yun Zhan felt a surge of heat rush to his dantian. He rubbed his hands together excitedly, eager to test the greatest benefit of this transmigration.
He cleared his throat, trying to project the imperial air he imagined, and shouted loudly towards the outside of the hall, "Guards!"
The palace doors opened in response, and an elderly man with a pale face and no beard, dressed in the robes of a chief eunuch, bowed and quickly walked in with small, quick steps. He knelt down with a thud, his voice high-pitched yet respectful: "Your Majesty, you're awake? This servant is here, this servant is here!"
Yun Zhan was taken aback by the standard court etiquette, but then his heart leaped with joy. Yes, yes, that's it! He tried hard to suppress the urge to smile and asked with feigned authority, "Um, um... what's your name again?"
The old eunuch lowered his head even further, trembling with fear: "Your Majesty, my surname is Gao, and Your Majesty has always called me Little Gao."
"Oh, Eunuch Gao," Yun Zhan readily complied, inwardly complaining about the emperor's taste, calling an old man "Little Gao." "Well, I feel quite energetic today, but rather bored. Go and summon all my concubines and beauties from my harem... cough cough, I mean, all those concubines and beauties, so I can have a look at them!"
Upon hearing this, a barely perceptible hint of surprise flashed across Eunuch Gao's face, but it was immediately replaced by perfect respect as he kowtowed: "This servant obeys the decree! His Majesty just finished the selection yesterday... cough, this servant will go and invite all... all masters over!"
After saying that, Grandpa Gao nimbly got up and backed out.
Yun Zhan was secretly delighted. He eagerly straightened his nightgown, wondering whether to strike a domineering pose or a languid and alluring one. What if there were too many beautiful women and he got overwhelmed? Or should he join in? After all, he was the emperor! Today, he was determined to make up for all the joys that modern office workers had lost!
He imagined the scene that was about to unfold: a group of beautiful women, dressed in light gauze dresses, with graceful figures and stunning looks, taking small, delicate steps, their voices sweet and melodious as they greeted him... Tsk tsk tsk, this time travel was worth it! A huge profit!
Not long after, the sound of hurried footsteps came from outside the hall. It sounded... well, a bit too heavy?
Yun Zhan immediately sat upright on the dragon bed, trying his best to make a dignified yet expectant expression.
The palace doors opened again.
Eunuch Gao was the first to enter. He stepped aside and announced in a high-pitched voice, "Your Majesty, the masters have arrived!"
Then, Yun Zhan's smile froze on his face, cracked, and shattered into pieces.
His eyes were wide open, and his mouth was slightly agape, big enough to fit an egg.
The tinkling of jade pendants and the fragrant breeze he had imagined did not materialize.
What came into view was a row... no, a group! A large group of men dressed in various colorful and gorgeous clothes, but which could not conceal their burly figures and rugged features...?
They were all tall and strong, with broad shoulders and thick waists, bronze skin, angular faces, and eyes that were either sharp or unruly. Some even had stubble on their cheeks! When they stood there, they almost blocked out all the light from the palace gate, and an invisible sense of oppression with strong hormones rushed over.
This isn't a harem of beauties; it's clearly a general's formation about to go to war! It's a team-building event at the gym! It's a side story of 300 Spartans!
Yun Zhan's brain froze on the spot; his CPU overheated.
He blinked mechanically, then rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was still half asleep, or if he had entered some strange instance through the wrong method.
Where did the promised imperial harem of beauties go? What the hell is this? A massive male idol group audition? Or are all the imperial guards' instructors coming to pay their respects to the emperor?
Seeing that Yun Zhan hadn't responded for a while, Eunuch Gao cautiously reminded him, "Your Majesty? Your Majesty? All the masters have arrived and are awaiting your instructions."
Yun Zhan snapped back to reality, pointing at the group of "macho men" below, his fingers trembling, and asked Eunuch Gao in a trembling voice, "Who...who...who are these people?! Where are my beauties? Where are my beloved concubines?!"
The eunuch Gao trembled at the shout, his face a mixture of innocence and bewilderment: "Your Majesty, these...these are the newly appointed...uh...'concubines' that you personally selected yesterday from the Imperial Guards, Imperial Attendants, and scions of noble families in the capital...you said...you said you liked those who were exceptionally brave and strong, and that just looking at them made you happy..."
Yun Zhan: "..."
He felt as if a bolt of lightning had struck him precisely on the top of his head, scorching him to a crisp and scattering his soul.
Chapter Two: Can I get a refund for this time-travel experience voucher?
What kind of fetish did the original owner have?! Was this emperor out of his mind, or was he kicked by a donkey? He'd rather have a bunch of muscular hunks in his harem than have cute, gentle girls?! That's some serious taste! Doesn't he worry about being crushed to death by one of his "beloved concubines" while sleeping? Or getting punched into the air by one of his "imperial concubines" at the slightest provocation?
Yun Zhan looked down at the "concubines," each with piercing eyes staring at him. Some even flashed him what they thought were alluring smiles, but were actually terrifying, revealing their gleaming white teeth. Yun Zhan instantly felt like a little chick lost in a pack of wolves—weak, pitiful, and helpless.
He was terrified that one of his "beloved concubines" would say in a coquettish (but rough) voice, "Your Majesty, let me serve you," and then send him, the true Son of Heaven, to his grave with a single punch.
This isn't enjoyment; this is practically playing with fire! Did the original owner have some kind of self-destructive tendency?
"Get out! All of you, get out of here!" Yun Zhan was terrified, forgetting all imperial dignity. In an instant, all romantic thoughts vanished, leaving only a strong will to survive. He waved his hands frantically like he was chasing away a plague god, his voice trembling with tears, "Immediately! Right now! Disappear from my sight! No one is allowed to come near me!"
The concubines and Eunuch Gao were all stunned, exchanging bewildered glances. What was His Majesty up to now? Just yesterday he was happily selecting concubines, praising this one for being heroic and that one for being handsome, how could he turn on everyone after just one night's sleep?
"Your Majesty..." Eunuch Gao wanted to confirm again.
"Get out!" Yun Zhan grabbed a jade pillow from the side and threw it at him (he didn't really hit him, so he threw it off course), almost screaming, "If you don't leave, I'll exterminate your entire family!"
These words were incredibly damaging. Although the "macho masters" didn't understand why, seeing that the emperor was indeed furious and it wasn't a joke, they had no choice but to bow and file out, filled with grievances and doubts, their heavy footsteps gradually fading into the distance.
Silence was finally restored inside the hall.
Yun Zhan slumped onto the dragon bed, still in shock, panting heavily, feeling as if he had just jumped off the edge of death.
He wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, mentally screaming, "That scared the hell out of me... Is this short-lived emperor some kind of hidden masochist? This life is too exciting! Speaking of which... he just selected this group of hunks yesterday, and today I'm the one who's taken over... How did the original owner die?"
An extremely chilling thought popped into my head: Could it be that the original emperor was overexerted by one or more of his "concubines" last night and died from exhaustion?!
Holy crap! Is this really that exciting?!
Yun Zhan suddenly felt a tightness in his anus, and a chill ran from his tailbone to the top of his head. He quickly and cautiously, like a thief, checked his body's condition.
Hmm? My back doesn't ache, my legs don't hurt... and there doesn't seem to be anything unusual in my back? Still feeling uneasy, he secretly clenched his buttocks again.
Mmm! Very tight! Feels very safe! It hasn't been subjected to any inhumane torture or cruelty!
Having confirmed that he was still a virgin, Yun Zhan let out a long, long sigh of relief and collapsed back onto the soft dragon bed as if he had survived a disaster.
Thank goodness, his innocence is preserved! It seems the original owner didn't even have time to enjoy his "harem of hunks" before he kicked the bucket, leaving me with... well, I don't know if it's a bargain or not.
But had he somehow transmigrated to some fictional dynasty? He was a history major, and although his grades were so-so, which emperor in history would do something like this? Create an all-male harem? And in this style? This was even more outrageous than the story of Lord Longyang! If there really was such a person in the history books, it would definitely be a prominent figure, and he couldn't possibly be unaware of it.
Regardless, his innocence was preserved for now. He relaxed, preparing to sort out his thoughts and savor the peace that followed his narrow escape. Being an emperor, well, the beginning was a bit terrifying, but at least he was an emperor, wasn't he? Once the harem of hunks was dealt with, things would be fine...
etc!
Yun Zhan's eyes, which he was about to close, suddenly snapped open!
He was fond of men! A short-lived and incompetent ruler!
These two keywords rang like alarm bells in the minds of his history students!
He jolted awake and sat up again, his face instantly turning deathly pale.
These keywords, strung together, point to an unfortunate man whose account of his death was vague but whose manner of death was extremely bizarre, whom he had once seen in a book of miscellaneous historical anecdotes!
Yun Zhan's face instantly turned ashen, cold sweat broke out on his forehead, and he was wide awake.
He turned his head abruptly, his voice trembling without him even realizing it, and cried out shrilly, "Eunuch Gao! Eunuch Gao!"
The eunuch Gao, who had been waiting outside the door and dared not stray far, scrambled back in: "Your Majesty? Is there anything else you wish to do?"
Yun Zhan stared intently at him, each word seemingly squeezed out through clenched teeth: "Tell me, what dynasty is it now? Who...who am I?!"
The eunuch was terrified by the emperor's appearance and knelt down again with a thud, his voice trembling: "Your Majesty, what's wrong? You are the Son of Heaven, the emperor of our Great Yin Dynasty! You are...you are..."
"My name!" Yun Zhan practically roared.
The eunuch Gao trembled with fright and cried out with his eyes closed, "Your Majesty, you are Chu Yin!"
Chu Yin!
“Chu Yin…Da Yin…usurped the Chen Kingdom…” Yun Zhan murmured to himself, his face turning completely ashen, his last shred of hope shattered.
It's confirmed.
It really is him! Chu Yin, the founding emperor of the Great Yin Dynasty, who usurped the throne of Chen Kingdom, was licentious and tyrannical (although the direction was a bit off), and was overthrown by Yan Linye, the son of the former Yan King, after only three years on the throne. It is said that his head was even made into a wine vessel for collection.
And now, it is the third month since he ascended the throne.
According to historical precedent, three years later, the brilliant and destined-to-be emperor of the Later Chen Dynasty, Yan Linye, would raise the banner of rebellion. Then, in just three months, he would sweep through the capital with lightning speed, eliminating this usurper and traitor! And incidentally, he would turn his skull into a work of art!
Yun Zhan's vision went black, and he collapsed onto the dragon bed, his limbs icy cold and trembling. All the romantic thoughts and relief of surviving the ordeal were gone, leaving only boundless fear and despair.
Three wives and four concubines? Drunkenly reclining on the lap of a beauty? Waking up to wield power over the world?
In two years and nine months, he'll become someone else's wine glass! And a well-worn one at that!
Help! This transmigration is hellish! Everyone else who transmigrates either becomes an overpowered protagonist or a farming hero, or at the very least, a son-in-law of the Dragon King. How come it's turned into an extreme survival challenge for him? And he has to go head-to-head with the chosen one of the plane who has a built-in meteor summoning spell, the kind of defeat that's destined to happen!
Oh my god, is it too late for him to travel back in time? Can this time-travel experience voucher be refunded?
Sleepiness? It had long since vanished. Yun Zhan stared wide-eyed at the magnificent golden dragon canopy above him, feeling like a pig or sheep awaiting slaughter, already pinned to the chopping block, its fate already decided whether to braise or steam it.
He's not a winner in life, he's a skull candidate!
Help!
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