Chapter 6: All for One Egg
Although Fu Yuanhang doesn't like his sister-in-law very much, he is very tolerant of her under the subtle influence of his mother every day. As long as she doesn't think about selling Chen Chen all day long, he won't bother with her.
"It's my aunt. She comes to our house to use the restroom at this time every day. You didn't run into her before because you never get up so early."
It was not a complaint, nor was it an accusation. Fu Yuanhang was simply stating the fact.
Su Taotao opened her mouth but said nothing. What's the big deal about sleeping until three in the morning? The original owner had done so many weird things, this was nothing.
I asked casually, "Is there no toilet in her house?"
Fu Yuanhang shook his head: "We are the only family in the entire brigade that has this squat toilet."
Wasn't it you who strongly asked your elder brother to hire someone to do it when you got married, Fu Yuanhang thought, it cost a lot of money.
Su Taotao also knew that she was asking a stupid question. This was in the 1970s, and every household had a urine bucket at home for small defecation, and then built a toilet outside for large defecation. Firstly, the conditions did not allow it, and secondly, it could be used to store some organic fertilizer. After all, every household needed fertilizer in their private plots.
Su Taotao had a bad feeling and asked, "Besides my aunt, no one else will come to our house to poop, right?"
Fu Yuanhang was about to speak when a few aunties came in and started discussing the right to use the toilet:
Auntie A: "Ouch, my leftover pickles may have gone bad. My stomach has been growling all morning. Sorry, let me go first."
Aunt B: "No, I got here first. I was in a hurry too. If I wasn't in a hurry, why would I come here so early?"
Auntie C: "Yes, yes, first come, first served. If you can't hold it any longer, go to the toilet. There's no reason to cut in line!"
Auntie A pushed forward and said, "Why are you like this? If I was still used to going to the toilet, would I come here to waste fertilizer? Oh, please be kind, I really can't hold it anymore..."
Aunt B and Aunt C pushed her to the back and said in unison: "No!"
Su Taotao: "..." Have the aunties who came to her house to use the toilet ever asked for their opinion as the owner?
"Ahem... ahem..." Su Taotao crossed her arms over her chest and walked up to them, blocking their way. She said with a smile, "Good morning, ladies."
The people who were arguing heatedly saw that it was Su Taotao, their pupils dilated, as if their throats were strangled in an instant, and the quarrel stopped abruptly.
Auntie A pointed at her and said, "You, you, you...you are Chenchen's mother? Why are you here?"
Su Taotao laughed at her question: "I should be the one asking you this question. Have you ladies forgotten that this is my home?"
Aunt A curled her lips and thought to herself, do you still remember that this is your home? No one is seen all day long.
It’s really not the aunts’ fault. The original owner was indeed not at home all day, and they had even forgotten how long they hadn’t seen her.
Aunt B is more aware of current affairs: "I haven't seen Comrade Su for a while. He looks better and better."
Aunt B originally just said it casually, but now it seems so incredible, is she a fairy descending to earth?
After hearing what she said, everyone looked at Su Taotao carefully. Isn't it true? Su Taotao, with her fair face and smooth skin, is already as beautiful as a fairy in the spring sunshine. The contrast is even more striking against the background of a group of sunburned working people. At first glance, isn't she a fairy who has descended to earth?
Auntie C came back to her senses: "Girls from the city are different. They are pretty and even the toilets at home are very convenient. Is anyone in there? Let's go to the toilet first and then talk."
Su Taotao was shocked. Oh no, she forgot to make herself look ugly before leaving the room. This was the first time she had seen such a slapping face without makeup. What could she do? She could only frown and use her bad temper and ugly face to reduce her looks!
Su Taotao stopped smiling, put one hand on her waist and pointed at their noses and cursed: "What's wrong with you? You came to my house to poison it so early in the morning. Do you think my house is a public toilet? I haven't even gone to the toilet yet, and you have the nerve to make my yard stink. How can I eat breakfast? Go away, go away, you are not welcome in our house, go back to where you came from!"
Several ladies were stunned by her scolding.
Auntie A reacted the fastest: "Hey, what's wrong with you? We came to your house early in the morning to deliver fertilizer, and you didn't thank us, but you actually scolded us for spreading poison?"
Aunt B: "Yes, we came to your house to use the toilet out of pity for you, a widow and orphan with few people and not enough fertilizer to irrigate your private plots. Why are you cursing at us?"
Auntie C: "You are still a high school student and an educated young man. We come here every day and your mother-in-law never says anything. You are the only one who speaks so harshly. You are simply a shrew!"
Su Taotao was not annoyed. She was not good at swearing and the atmosphere could only be raised here. She stretched out her hand, pinched her thumb and index finger, and made a gesture of counting money:
"Hey, so you ladies are so kind. Our family is not only short of fertilizer, but also money. Look how hungry we are. How about you be kind and give us some money? Not really, how about this. From now on, every time you go to the toilet at our house, it will cost you 10 cents. If you subscribe to a monthly subscription, you can get a 30% discount. How about two yuan a month?"
Aunt A's stomach was indeed a little uncomfortable. After hearing what Su Taotao said, even her blood pressure soared. "You, you, you..." Her face turned red for a long time. She turned around and ran away, covering her butt before she finished speaking. She was really too anxious!
The auntie jumped up and her words became like a screaming chicken: "Two dollars? Are you crazy about money? Why don't you just go and rob it!"
Her whole family worked for a full month, and even after saving money, they could not save more than two dollars. And they wanted to charge her two dollars for going to the toilet. It was like asking her to die!
Aunt B looked at Su Taotao's "ugly" face and thought that she must have been blind to think that she became as beautiful as a fairy. This greedy face was even uglier than the tofu-skin woman at the village entrance!
Auntie C pointed at Su Taotao and said, "You must have fallen into the river yesterday and your brain is damaged. Hurry up and find Huang Liu to prescribe medicine. If you dare to take our money, I will go to the commune and sue you for cutting off the tail of capitalism!"
Su Taotao nodded: "That's right, it's not appropriate to charge money, so let's give you one egg each time, and the monthly subscription will be 20 eggs."
Eggs are hard currency these days.
Aunt C said, pulling Aunt B over: "Bah, Huang Liu only received five eggs for treating a patient, what's your basis? Let's go back to our own toilet and save the fertilizer for our own plot. We can't let this stupid person get away with it!"
Su Taotao looked at their backs and smiled, bending over, and shouted: "Hey, ladies, you really don't want to go to the toilet, the toilet is so smelly, this egg is still worth giving, remember to help me promote it, and get more people to go to the toilet at our house. No matter who comes, I promise to charge only one egg, no matter who comes!"
The two aunties staggered and almost fell on the threshold. At the same time, they turned around and glared at Su Taotao fiercely.
It's not like he's sick, nor does he not have a toilet at home. Is there anyone else in this production team who's crazy besides Su Taotao?
Sure enough, within ten minutes, all the members of the production team were saying that Su Taotao fell into the river yesterday and got water in her head. They even said that anyone who went to her house to use the restroom would collect an egg!
Anyway, from then on, no one dared to go to Su Taotao's house to use the toilet.
Of course, this is all later.
The aunt, who had listened to the entire process in the toilet, had finished for a long time, but she didn't dare to come out, for fear that Su Taotao would tease her about her balls.
Until Su Taotao couldn't hold it in any longer and knocked on the door: "Aunt, you didn't fall into the toilet, did you? If you don't come out, I'm going to kick the door."
The aunt had no choice but to open the door. She didn't even dare to raise her head to look at Su Taotao. She left with a word "I have things to do at home" and ran out of the yard as if escaping. It's amazing that she ran as fast as when she came.
Not to mention Su Taotao, even Zhou Linglan and Fu Yuanhang breathed a sigh of relief. They didn't like these people coming to their house to use the toilet at all.
Ever since the squat toilet was built at home, there has been an endless stream of people coming to the house to defecate from morning to night. They said that fertilizer was delivered to their home, but the fertilizer in the septic tank was picked up by them themselves to water the vegetables, and Zhou Linglan has never used it.
Zhou Linglan was thin-skinned and soft-hearted, so she didn't want to quarrel with her fellow villagers. She had to greet them with a smile no matter how much she disliked them. Fu Yuanhang had said this several times, but everyone treated him as a child and didn't take his words to heart. She was also worried that her mother would have a hard time, so she just endured it.
He had really broadened his horizons today, and it really was true that every wicked man will be punished by his own wickedness.
To deal with these people, you really have to use such extraordinary measures.
Fu Yuanhang looked at Su Taotao, who was smiling but insisted on carrying Chen Chen to wash her face and brush her teeth, and seemed to be thinking about something. His sister-in-law might really have lost her mind, and it seemed like she was doing quite well.