Chapter 61 Irene slowly but surely...
Irene was the first to lose. The argument she had prepared in advance was like a marshmallow that encountered high temperature. It softened quickly and stickily, sticking to the roots of her teeth. She even had trouble swallowing it. Her throat was very dry and had a strange sweet and fishy taste.
She turned to look at Hannah and whispered, "Come on, don't just stand here, let's go eat."
Although Hannah said this while looking at them, the three people present knew who she was talking to.
Hannah gritted her teeth and sat between Irene and Leo, the sound of knives and forks clattering, as if someone was deliberately venting their dissatisfaction.
There was another sharp and piercing sound of metal scraping across a porcelain plate, and Hannah got goose bumps on her back.
She couldn't eat, and her mind kept replaying Leo's extremely ugly expression when Irene calmly made her request just now, angry, ashamed, sad... The last time she saw him like this was a few years ago when Leo and she realized that the lady was not the same lady as before.
Hannah silently stuffed a big mouthful of rice into her mouth, trying to reduce her presence as much as possible.
*
There were seven or eight plates in the middle of the long dining table covered with a white lace tablecloth. There were fragrant roast chicken, greasy sausages, bread and jams of various flavors, and dark red wine was swaying in the goblet. Irene chewed on the steak that was fried to medium-rare, and the aroma of rosemary mixed with black pepper spread in her mouth.
From the quick and concise quarrel just now, she clearly realized the current situation - it would be better to set rules and boundaries for Leo directly than to quarrel with him.
When communicating with a love-brained person, instead of wasting your breath on talking about some profound principles that he can't listen to, it is better to pour a bucket of cold water directly on his head.
There is a skill to pouring cold water.
Do not water too little, otherwise it will not have the effect of extinguishing the fire; do not water too much, otherwise the dry and stable soil will easily turn into muddy water, and your feet will be covered with mud when you step on it.
So, with this realization in mind, Irene threw a thunderbolt out of nowhere before dinner. She said:
"I'm planning to move out and live on my own."
This was the best plan she had come up with after careful consideration, and it could also test Leo's bottom line. If he rejected her proposal to move out, she would take the opportunity to bring up the idea of opening a store in New Orleans, which would most likely not be rejected.
This is the so-called house-tearing effect. First, make a more outrageous request, and then make a slightly smaller request after being rejected. Leo will agree to her second condition because of the guilt he felt for rejecting the first request.
Irene is full of confidence in this.
Leo turned to look at her in disbelief, "What did you say?"
"I'm planning on moving out."
Irene repeated her words in a decisive and resolute tone, just like when she invited him to escape together in the manor five years ago. Leo's brain seemed to be lacking oxygen and became blank. He mechanically followed Irene's words and continued:
"Where to move to?"
"I'm still considering it. Rochester or New York, either is fine. I'll open a store wherever the economy recovers faster."
When these words came out, Hannah looked over in shock, as if she couldn't understand what Irene was talking about at all.
This is normal. After all, only Irene, who has never experienced war, can brazenly speak out such unrealistic fantasies.
Seems so naive.
Leo tilted his head and looked at her quietly for a long time. "The war is not over yet, you know?"
"I know, but it's equally unsafe no matter where you are, so I might as well go out and try my luck. I could find a way to make money five years ago, and I can do it now. Besides, hasn't the situation stabilized? The country and the military will protect the people."
Relying on her familiarity with the history textbook, Irene spoke a passage that shocked Hannah so much that she almost couldn't hold the cup in her hand.
Every word she uttered was filled with the stereotyped perceptions of society that people who grew up in a peaceful era take for granted - the vast majority of people are kind, life is happy and stable, and the police are doing something meaningful.
Leo turned his head and cut a piece of beef with knife and fork accurately and skillfully. His dining etiquette now seemed like he had received aristocratic education since childhood, which was completely different from his previous stiff imitation.
Even the way he avoided talking to her by eating was like what the so-called wealthy capitalists did.
Irene frowned somewhat uncomfortably.
The setting sun falls into the restaurant through the large and clear glass windows, and the plates on the table reflect a clean light in the light.
She still remembered the last time the three of them sat together to eat like this was the morning they first arrived in Mobile. She excitedly told Leo about her aspirations for opening a store in the future. Although the boy's eyes were still wary, he could not hide his trust in her.
From the manor to New Orleans, the wariness in his eyes became less and less, and his trust and admiration for her increased. Irene had to admit that she was extremely proud at the time.
She likes and enjoys this situation of being in a high position in love and career.
A sense of security is something you give yourself, and Irene has always believed this since she was a child.
But now, she lived in the property that Leo had worked hard for, enjoying the comfortable life that was earned through his military achievements and hard work. Although Leo seemed to still love her as much as before, this still made Irene very uneasy.
After all, five years have passed, and people's hearts are hidden. She still can't figure out what Leo is thinking.
Now the only thing that can bring her a sense of security is a career that she has built entirely through her own hard work.
"Now?" Leo forced out a strange laugh, his tone full of sarcasm. He had never spoken to Irene so sharply before.
"Do you know how many people are starving and therefore stealing and robbing? How many people are tossing and turning in their hospital beds every day, wondering how they will survive after losing their arms and legs? Isn't the experience you just experienced enough to wake you up?"
Leo curled his lips coldly, and shot Irene in the heart cruelly and indifferently.
"If I hadn't rescued you the moment I received the news, do you think you would still be alive now? Staying with me is your best choice. Don't you know this? The military and the police? Don't you find it funny when you say these things yourself?"
"If the state and the military were useful, would there be so many civilian casualties in the war? Don't be stupid."
Did she still think that society was the same as it was five years ago? How could wartime and peacetime be compared?
Irene knew this, of course, but compared to taking control of her own life, taking a little risk didn't seem so scary.
Perhaps it was because she had never experienced war, so she could easily say things like "I would rather die than be without freedom."
But what does it matter? She had realized three days after Leo brought her back to this house that her current life and the respect others had for her were actually all because of Leo. Because Leo liked her and because Leo valued her, they valued her.
But what if Leo doesn't like her anymore one day?
Can the respect gained through a man’s love really last?
From escaping from the manor when she first traveled through time to her current desire to leave Leo, it was essentially the same reason: she needed freedom.
As long as she lives in this era, she will rely on herself to fight for her freedom.
…
She spoke slowly and her voice was steady, but her vision became blurry. The mature and steady man in front of her seemed to have turned back into the young boy who survived by animal instinct.
The portrait turned into a mixture of various blocks of colors. Only after a blink of an eye and the tears were wiped away did Leo's handsome and outstanding profile become clear.
She saw that Leo also had tears in his eyes and looked at her pitifully. He looked somewhat similar to before.
But she - Irene wiped away her sad tears and reluctantly admitted a fact that she was unwilling to acknowledge - she had finally lost her former lover.
How could things be the same five years ago and five years later?
after all--
"After all, Leo five years ago would never do such a thing as sending his subordinates to provoke me."
Irene described the incident as objectively as possible without any emotion. She didn't even mention Mrs. Soi's more extreme remarks. She knew what kind of person Leo was, and Mrs. Soi was not a bad person. It was just that they had different standpoints.
"Moreover, the books I have read, the manuscripts I have drawn, and the competitions I have participated in do not qualify me to be an excellent man."
"You are very good, but I am definitely not bad either."
"I really want to not blame you. I know that my sudden disappearance for five years must have been a big blow to you. I have tried my best not to be angry with you, but have you ever thought that I didn't want to disappear for five years on my own initiative? During the time I traveled back in time, I also missed you and felt wronged."
"Have you ever thought about it from my perspective?"
"I want to forgive you, Leo," Irene's voice was choked with sobs.
"But how can I forgive you? How can I forgive a lover who knows that my dream is far away but tries to trap me in a cage like a canary?"
Leo breathed hard, he clenched the armrest of the stool tightly, the barbs pierced into his palm, and blood spread. He had experienced war, and death, disability, and disappearance were all too common for him.
He loved Irene so much that he couldn't accept her getting hurt. The outside world was too dangerous, and only by his side was it safe enough. Leo had always believed this, so he asked people to persuade Irene to stay with him.
But he didn't expect that his thoughts would cause her so much harm.
"I don't need marriage to measure my worth. I want to travel back from the 21st century to this world without mobile phones and computers just because I miss my lover day after day."
"But I didn't expect that I would regret it so soon," Irene said with a wry smile.
"Now that I think about it, some of the experiences of those who have been through it are not without reason. We have received different educations and have experienced different lives. It is difficult for you to understand my desire for freedom and self-worth. Similarly, I cannot understand why you try to keep me under your protection."
"Should I rely on you just because I'm a woman?"
A deep sense of exhaustion came over her. Irene leaned back in her chair and spoke in a tired tone.
"Perhaps, we should never have met. All of this is just a trick of time and space."
The bone ring on her hand glowed slightly when no one noticed.
The sun gradually sank, and the food on the table became cold, emitting the unique fishy smell of meat. The dark red wine flowed from the long-necked bottle into the glass. Leo tilted his head back and drank a full glass of red wine. What he swallowed was not only the wine, but also a deep sense of powerlessness.
His cheeks had turned cold without him noticing, and he didn't even have the courage to hug Irene.
Irene's narration was clear and calm, like ice-cold wine that made him feel cold all over, as if he had fallen into an icy cave. A sharp and piercing tinnitus sounded in his mind again, and his heart almost lost its ability to bounce under the severe pain.
He forgot that five years was too long, so long that he even forgot why Irene chose to escape from the manor. He actually created another "manor" with his own hands during these five years.
He even allowed himself to instigate outsiders to persuade Irene to marry him like a canary and stay by his side for the sake of so-called self-esteem and face.
The memories of the past few days played in his mind frame by frame. Leo almost masochistically placed himself in the memories that now seemed to be pushing Irene away, watching himself push himself into the fire pit with his indulgence and arrogance.
He regretted it.
The wine was so bitter that Leo's back arched slightly. His heart felt as if it was being kneaded in the palm of his hand. He didn't even dare to look up at Irene, for fear of seeing disappointment in him in Irene's eyes.
How could this happen? How could he forget? When their eyes met for the first time, his first impression of Irene was clearly that of a small but fierce lioness on the grassland. Why did he forget this in just five years?
Why is he so stupid.
The sweet taste of blood rose in Leo's throat, and he didn't even realize that he had bitten the tip of his tongue.
For the first time in his waking life he felt despair—it seemed as if he had really done something terribly wrong this time.
Leo staggered and half-knelt beside Irene's stool, like a homeless stray dog, and pressed his forehead against the trembling, cold back of Irene's hand.
…
Then, Irene placed her soft palm on his cheek and slowly but firmly pushed him away.
This made Leo much more desperate than every other time he was close to death.
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