There are many kinds of crying.
Aunt Bi Jinzhi's crying was suppressed. She covered her mouth and tears flowed down her eyes into her palms.
When Bi Jinzhi mentioned her poor brother, her eyes were filled with tears countless times.
In the past, Bi Yue might not have understood.
Now, she understands, and she has become a sister too.
Bi Yue still vividly remembers the time when she looked back and saw her eldest brother selling popsicles from a cart across the street from Bi Cheng.
The pain and heartache, the desire to open my arms to protect my younger brothers, the heartache of wanting to support everything for them, that feeling is engraved in my heart.
She pushed open the door as if she didn't hear her aunt's crying, and quietly left with the basin of persimmons in her arms.
…
The old man in the room stretched out his dry hand and gestured twice in the direction of Bi Jinzhi. He wanted his daughter to look at him and talk instead of just crying.
"No matter what you say, it won't work for me! So, Dad, do you think that my elder brother and I don't want to take you to get treatment? But... we don't have the ability!" Bi Jinzhi sniffed and suppressed her sobs:
"As your children, we watched you... You could have asked a doctor to take a good look at you then!"
Bi Jinzhi grinned. Some feelings could not be suppressed, and her expression was distorted because of crying.
When she chose to say to the doctor, "I don't want to stay in the hospital anymore," at that moment, it seemed to her like she had taken her father's life with her own hands.
When they were young, their parents gave the three of them the best.
There was not much food at home, so we went out to dig wild vegetables, not to mention the winter when there were no wild vegetables. In those days, none of the three children starved to death.
I still remember when she was a child, she had a fever that didn't go down for two days and two nights. Her father carried her to the neighboring village in the coldest days of winter, braving the smoky snow. He ran in a hurry and the road was slippery, so he fell twice while holding her. When he saw someone who could diagnose a disease, he was so anxious that he grabbed the person's collar and said:
"Hurry up and save my daughter!" He was so anxious that he wanted to hit someone, but afterwards, he was so grateful that he wanted to kneel down and apologize to the person, and bow his head.
But... they are old and incompetent, and cannot be as wholehearted as their parents.
Her father was ill, and when she heard the seriousness of his illness, she could only say, "We can't afford his treatment."
Thinking of this, Bi Jinzhi pounded her chest twice.
Bi Fu shook his head, feeling helpless, and advised: "Don't cry, your brother and sister-in-law will be listening soon. They have taken care of me for so many years, it's terrible enough!"
Before Bi Jinzhi could speak, Bi Fu spoke again:
"I know it's going to be a lot of fare to go there and back. It's useless, and I have to spend all that money, and the old and the young can't get out. But... my daughters, Dad can't go there anymore. Dad just doesn't worry. He's been there for too many years. Go and take a look, and when you come back, tell me, has he lost weight? Has he become stupid in there...?"
Bi Fu turned his head and his eyes fell on the kang cabinet. He just wanted to hear what his eldest son had to say. When he got there and saw his old wife, he would have something to say.
…
Bi Yue sat on the doorstep holding a basin of persimmons. She was staring at Bi Tiegang and Bi Cheng who were tidying up the sticks in the yard, and was in a daze.
Bi Tiegang thought that his poor family could not continue to let Banzhangzi lead the Corgi.
After all, this house used to open its doors to people for theft, and no one brought anything in. Now, it’s hard to say.
His behavior is like a poor man who suddenly becomes "rich" but dares not tell anyone about his "guilty conscience."
Bi Tiegang had no idea that his father and sister in the room were almost crying their heads off.
He thought that if he asked his sister to persuade the old man, the matter would be over. Besides, the ox cart had been ordered, and whether to go to the hospital or not would not be up to the old man to decide! He asked his sister to persuade him so that the old man would cooperate with the doctor's examination.
When Bi Tiegang was having dinner, he listened to Dacheng talking in detail about how to sell big fruits and so on, and his mind was really active.
I'm thinking, this time I'll first find out what the disease is and what medicine I should take. Even if it's expensive, I can't waste that money.
If it really doesn't work, let the eldest daughter teach him, and he can take over selling fried dough sticks. He can also stay in Kyoto to take care of the two children and go to the weekend. No matter what, as long as he is there, it is still a home and he can eat some delicious food.
But then he thought, most of the time he was the one who took care of his father when he went to the toilet.
While Bi Tiegang was working with Bi Cheng, he was muttering in his heart: I wonder if that little bastard at home can take good care of the old man with his mother at home.
…
Liu Yafang sat in front of the stove in the outer room and continued to heat the kang.
In order to prepare for winter and keep the kang warm, Bi Tiegang and she couldn't sleep too soundly tonight. They had to take turns getting up to add some firewood and wooden staves.
Liu Yafang pounded her waist twice. During the day, she put the wax gourds into the sauce jar for her fat sister-in-law's stew, and then she had to continue stewing them at home.
In Northeast China, especially in winter, there are not many edible vegetables, and even green ones are rare, so naturally you have to guess what to do.
Store more in summer and autumn, and find ways to prepare for winter. Put the squash in a pickle jar, and when winter comes, you can use it as a pickle. Cut it up and eat it, and it's chewy, like egg yolk.
Bi Yue sat on the doorstep, not turning around, and whispered to her mother: "Mom, why did my uncle go to the northwest? Wasn't he originally in our city?"
"You don't remember?" Liu Yafang looked at Bi Yue with a puzzled look again.
Bi Yue blushed, a rare blush.
"I was young then. Plus, you know me, I'm introverted and don't like to get involved. Now when I think about those first few years, I was in a daze. My grandmother... I suspect I was stimulated."
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