Goodnight Time Machine
In the long and almost endless wait, he stood there like a bird lost from a flock, trying every possible way to survive, but the shadow of death always loomed over him, and if he was not careful, he would be drowned in this gray extinction.
Lu Jinfeng felt an unexpected hatred. He understood why he had hated her so deeply, thinking that such a constant, intense hatred, a constant reminder, would neutralize love. In this seemingly endless hesitation, he thought of eternity, of the future in which he would continue to love and hate, laugh and cry. He couldn't help but feel that he must be with her for the rest of his life. No matter what the reason.
He whispered, "What should I do..."
Under his lover's slumber, he felt a wave of mournful, death-like slumber. Lu Jinfeng wearily walked over and lay down beside Bai Shunan, carefully staying as close to him as possible without disturbing him, wandering in a long period of half-sleep and half-wakefulness. He would wake up, he prayed, making countless promises with countless imaginary beings in his mind, thinking about the countless deals and words of hope he had conjured over the past few days. He wanted his Shunan, his lover, to wake up.
He wants to live a good life with him.
At the end of the dream, he awoke to the scent of the approaching spring, mingled with the coolness of snow and the fresh, moist scent of young buds. Hearing the vague yet real "You're awake," it was as if the future was reflected in the past. Lu Jinfeng, watching Bai Shunan's eyes gaze into his, burst into tears. This wasn't the first time he'd cried in days, but it was the first time he'd cried with such abandon. He leaned tightly into his arms, weeping until his voice was hoarse, his sobs painful, his breath choking, yet he kept on crying. In this weeping, he discovered the joy of sadness.
He seemed to have forgotten the words and kept repeating "I love you" over and over again.
Bai Shunan hugged him back and responded, "I know, I love you too."
Lu Jinfeng raised his head and kissed Bai Shunan wildly. The tears flowing from his lips melted away warmly in the passionate kiss. He enjoyed the familiar and comfortable intimacy, and the kiss was real and passionate.
Bai Shunan's eyes swept across the glass ball on the table with snowflakes floating on it, but Lu Jinfeng's kiss forced him to look away, and he only cared about the person in front of him who was crying and almost gasping for breath. He hugged Bai Shunan tightly, buried his head in his shoulder, and cried uncontrollably while saying intermittently, "Shunan, you have to remember, I'm still here... Don't leave me, don't leave me."
Lu Jinfeng cried himself to sleep. He clung tightly to Bai Shunan, grabbing onto his clothes and refusing to let go.
When Lu Jinfeng woke up, Bai Shunan was holding his hand and saying to him, "How we will spend our lives together will only be known in the future. I just want to tell you now that I will not let go of your hand."
Lu Jinfeng frowned and hid in Bai Shunan's arms and started crying again. He always felt that he was too embarrassed at this important moment. He said in a low voice with annoyance, "I was obviously dressed up to look good."
Bai Shunan looked at the shy side of Lu Jinfeng, who was so familiar to him, and hugged Lu Jinfeng lovingly. He lowered his eyes and buried them in his shoulders. With clear admiration and love in his heart, he deepened the hug bit by bit. He slowly closed his eyes. At this moment, their hearts seemed to beat in unison. Bai Shunan's voice was clearly transmitted into Lu Jinfeng's heart, "I will never let go."
On the way home, Lu Jinfeng, having fallen into habit for the past few days, unknowingly drove to his own house. When Lu Jinfeng realized what he had done, he stared silently ahead. Not wanting to burden Bai Shunan with any more hassles, he had already ruled out turning back. So, he had no choice but to follow Bai Shunan closely, his lips tightly pursed, cursing his past self inwardly. When Bai Shunan looked at him, Lu Jinfeng's face displayed a deliberately composed expression, a hint of guilt emerging. He hesitated for a long time before opening the door.
Bai Shunan walked into the house and looked at the mess in front of him. He was stunned for a second and then returned to normal. He nonchalantly pulled Lu Jinfeng to take a shower.
After a long while, Bai Shunan picked up the pillow that had fallen on the floor, patted it, and placed it on the bed. Without much hesitation, he lay down on it, and Lu Jinfeng followed him. Bai Shunan looked at Lu Jinfeng from the side, and gently stroked Lu Jinfeng's face with his dry, warm hands. After wiping away all the tears on Lu Jinfeng's face, he nestled in Lu Jinfeng's warm arms.
After Lu Jinfeng felt Bai Shunan's slightly cool body, he hugged Bai Shunan, pulled some quilts to press on Bai Shunan, and leaned closer to Bai Shunan. He closed his eyes and said something silently. The words became clearer and clearer as he repeated them over and over again - "Don't leave me."
Lu Jinfeng noticed that Bai Shunan's hand was still a little cold, so he held his hand and slowly covered it with the warmth of his palm. "When you were away, everything at home became so strange that I couldn't help but want to cry."
Bai Shunan was looking at him. Lu Jinfeng had never felt that there was any other gaze more touching than the one Bai Shunan was looking at him. As long as he looked at him, he would love him endlessly.
"I had a dream. Many people were around me, family and friends. I didn't know you in my dream. I lived like that every day. I almost lost you, but I always felt that I would meet someone. Until I met you again. One afternoon, when I passed by you, you bumped into me. The wind in the dream was very light. You said "sorry". I was thinking that it wouldn't be easy to make you like me, but I also felt that you would fall in love with me. I woke up, and luckily you were by my side." Bai Shunan smiled lightly at Lu Jinfeng, "I will always fall in love with you, even if I didn't realize that I was in love with you. It was because of you that day that I was fascinated."
"do you like me?"
"I like you." The smile on Bai Shunan's face deepened. He seemed to have expected Lu Jinfeng to ask this question. He always asked this question.
"Is that so? Then you have to tell me more about this in the future. You can't forget it."
"And you?"
"I will never forget that you are the one I love most."
Bai Shunan had never expected Lu Jinfeng to say this.
"I called you all night one night, but your phone was gone."
"What did you want to say to me at that time?" Bai Shunan quickly thought of the previous experience.
Lu Jinfeng rubbed Bai Shunan's hand. After waking up from so many dreams of loss, the illusion of a beautiful dream appeared in reality. Lu Jinfeng's heart was warm and rich at this moment. He recalled in his mind, "I think I probably wanted to tell you that you should not marry anyone else. Don't marry anyone else. Don't listen to what I said before that it's okay for you to get married. I wanted to tell you so much, but you didn't answer my calls or even call me back. I have been very concerned about this matter and didn't want to pay attention to you. I always wanted to ask you but didn't dare to ask you."
Bai Shunan shook his head and smiled helplessly. Lu Jinfeng looked at Bai Shunan's smile and was about to say something to defend himself when Bai Shunan suddenly came forward and kissed him. He slowly placed his hand on his cheek and said with emotion, "How can you be so silly and cute."
Bai Shunan knew what Lu Jinfeng would say next, so he kissed Lu Jinfeng again. Looking at Lu Jinfeng's stunned expression, Bai Shunan said happily, "I love you, I love you."
The re-screening of that classic movie did not miss Bai Shunan's awakening. Lu Jinfeng held Bai Shunan's hand and sat down in the cinema. When they were old and ugly, they would walk into the cinema together again at some point in the future. Perhaps at that moment in the future, they would remember their youth and this moment.
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