Old Things
The daylight slowly faded away. As soon as the exam was over, Lu Jinfeng shouldered his empty schoolbag and ran towards the school gate. With a look of joy on his face, he ran to the cake shop and picked up the cake he had ordered. He walked down the path at a leisurely pace. Just thinking about how surprised his mother would be when she saw the cake made him incredibly happy.
This happiness only stopped when he saw the people in the alley looking at him. He frowned slightly, hugged the cake in his arms, turned around and walked another way. Not today, he thought, he couldn't cause trouble today.
His retreat didn't make the men let him go. Someone grabbed his backpack and pushed him into the alley. Lu Jinfeng, protecting the cake, didn't dare to make any big moves. The leader pushed Lu Jin's shoulder and said, "Where's that arrogance you had when you were trying to be a hero last time? You even dared to interfere in my affairs. Now you're scared..."
Lu Jinfeng lowered his head and looked at the cake in his arms, his back against the wall. Suddenly, a palm came towards him, and his head tilted to the left. After a ringing in his ears, he put down the cake and was about to attack when he heard a roar from the distance, "What are you doing?"
Lu Jinfeng looked towards the source of the sound and saw a policeman standing there.
After that, those people never appeared in front of him again.
As he was almost home with the cake, he looked back. The wind was blowing, and the sky was warm and gentle at dusk. That was when he realized for the first time that someone was following him. He walked towards the wall and saw a figure that had already reached the corner and passed by in a flash, and his student ID card was left on the ground.
Lu Jinfeng rubbed his face, straightened his clothes, and opened the door with a smile. He changed his shoes while calling out for his mother. When he reached the living room, the call stopped. He looked at the scene before him and subconsciously wanted to hide the cake. His mother was hugging his sister and crying, holding her tightly with a look of vulnerability he had never seen before. That was her child, the child she had invested her heart and soul in. This was normal, Lu Jinfeng thought.
Not long after, during dinner, the quarrel between mother and daughter began, as Lu Jinfeng had anticipated. His sister slammed the door and left again. Lu Jinfeng, accustomed to all this, smiled at his mother and said, "Happy birthday, Mom."
Seeing his mother about to cry again, Lu Jinfeng went forward to comfort her. He listened to his mother saying, "Yueyue is good in every way, except this..."
Before she finished speaking, she started crying, "She's too stubborn, Jinfeng, don't learn from her... After all this, I have no appetite anymore. I'm going upstairs to rest for a while, you eat well..."
Lu Jinfeng watched his mother go upstairs. He lowered his head to eat, everything as usual. When he returned to his room, he took out his student ID from his pocket and looked at it for a long time. The next day, he put it back on the man's desk. While he was there, as he passed the seat by the window, he casually raised his hand and placed it in front of him.
Lu Jinfeng walked forward without looking back. His voice was soft, each one ravaged by memories, shattered by the wind until it finally became dust piled in a corner—"I saw yesterday's sunset."
-
Qi Ci smoked a cigarette next to Yun Cen afterwards. He looked at Yun Cen and became curious about something else. "If I had a family and a partner, would you still want to sleep with me?"
The rain in Lu Jinfeng's heart hadn't stopped yet. He turned his head to look at Bai Shunan, a tired yet gentle smile slowly spreading across his face. In his eyes, Bai Shunan turned hazy in the rain, disappearing in the shimmering water. He moved closer and smelled a fresh, warm fragrance.
He closed his eyes and gently kissed the corner of Bai Shunan's lips. The departing rain appeared in his mind, and finally the memory froze on a sunny day. In a classroom where the air was filled with chalk dust, Bai Shunan stood on a stool with his back to him, holding a piece of chalk and drawing white vines on the blackboard.
Lu Jinfeng opened his eyes.
(Yun Cen subconsciously felt bothered, but did not answer Qi Ci. Looking at Qi Ci's expression, he probably felt that he was willing.)
Maybe I think I am willing...
Qi Ci's face was tense. He had some guesses about Yun Cen's answer. It would be better to break up with such a person as soon as possible. He didn't know why, but he felt uncomfortable and said inexplicably: "I want to sleep with you."
Yun Cen frankly showed Qi Ci his body. With a smile on his face, he leaned on Qi Ci's legs. He raised his head and skillfully took the cigarette from Qi Ci's mouth and placed it in his own. He took a deep breath, then pinched the cigarette between his fingers and put it back in Qi Ci's mouth. He chuckled softly, and said with the smoke, "Next time, I'll let you have sex with me."
At that time, although Yun Cen's heart was completely tied to Qi Ci, he always believed that there would not be a next time. Whenever he thought about this, he felt a sense of relief.
Qi Ci stared at Yun Cen, watching as the smoke cleared and Yun Cen's face flushed with a hint of drunkenness. He awkwardly avoided his gaze, then revealed a restrained, cautious, and shy smile. Just as Qi Ci was about to smile, Yun Cen stared straight at him. Qi Ci was startled by the look, and his heart was also startled.
Qi Ci raised his head and looked at the ceiling. Knowing that there would most likely not be a next time, he put the cigarette into the ashtray several times, and the cigarette went out on the first try.
Qi Ci rubbed Yun Cen's head, showing a rare sense of nostalgia.
Perhaps knowing how precious this time was, Yun Cen lay on the pillow. He placed one hand on Qi Ci's waist and slowly tightened it, as if he wanted to pull Qi Ci into his arms, or as if he wanted to hide in Qi Ci's arms.
Li Xuanyue ruthlessly instructed, "Here, slow down and show how lonely it feels even when there are only two of us."
Lu Jinfeng stayed where he was and silently watched Qi Ci's back as he stood up and left.
The rumble of thunder resounded across the sky, and heavy rain suddenly came down, disrupting the filming plan.
Lu Jinfeng returned home, a simple home, the place he was most familiar with in the world, where he was the only one there.
It was just anger then.
He couldn't help but think so.
When the anger is exhausted, what is left?
He remembered that when he was most seriously ill a few days ago, he kept crying. He was so angry at that time, as if he was only angry, and he thought that his tears were caused by the illness, and it was the physical discomfort that made him cry, so he carried the dizziness with him and cried, as if he wanted to take everything away.
When Bai Shunan kissed him just now, he felt a similar feeling as when he was sick, so the feeling urged him to recall it again, and he realized that he was crying with his spirit, trying to let the tears take away all the unwillingness, while the anger occupied his brain before he realized it.
Hurry, let the tears flow away quickly.
As soon as he said it was over, he left anxiously as if he was running for his life. On his way home, he looked at the road ahead that was slowly converging into a point. The way home was so clear, yet why did it seem endless?
Lu Jinfeng cursed in his heart a few times before he came to his senses. He didn't need to think about anything else, his thoughts automatically jumped back to the anticipation of going home.
Finally, he returned home. It was getting dark. He pressed the switch on the wall. When the lights came on and the familiar home appeared in front of him, he immediately realized what a wrong decision he had made.
He is really an expert at making himself uncomfortable.
Lu Jinfeng woke up on the sofa and checked his phone. It was eleven o'clock in the evening. He was stunned for a long time, not knowing what was wrong with him. With the desire to solve something, he dialed the number without much struggle, as easy as drinking a sip of water.
"sorry."
There were so many noises around her, so mixed, but Lu Jinfeng's voice still reached her ears.
"My condition was very bad at that time." Lu Jinfeng played a fugitive in a movie.
In order to make Lu Jinfeng fit the role better, and with Lu Jinfeng's own willingness to try, the director cut off contact with everyone, confiscated all electronic devices, and stayed isolated in a room for more than a month.
He felt liberated, like a captive bird escaping its cage. He didn't realize that leaving was just the beginning of a difficult time. He experienced slurred speech, photophobia, and neurasthenia, irritated by the slightest movement. The director noticed his current state, and he was bombarded with filming assignments, which he had to forge to complete.
The movie is interspersed with a clichéd love line, which gives Lu Jinfeng a respite. He is like a fish that has unfortunately drifted onto land and successfully jumped back into the water.
"I thought I needed love." Lu Jinfeng lowered his head, his face calm, his tone unhurried, as if he was narrating someone else's story, "Everything is my fault."
He wanted so badly to grasp the illusory warmth in the shadow that he begged for someone to walk into his barren land like a sudden burst of spring light.
Allowing him to grab the air.
Lu Jinfeng, who thought he was trapped with nowhere to hide, always felt that he needed someone to save him, and that someone must save him, so he selfishly placed all his hopes on the heroine Yuan Ye of the movie.
It wasn't until their second film together that he got the chance to win her heart.
Yuan Ye walked to a quieter area. Her face was a little intoxicated. Her fingers couldn't help but turn the ice cubes in her arms, stirring the gin that exuded citrus aroma. The bubbles in the wine kept moving and bursting. "So, you know you are wrong."
"I know, I was wrong, I was wrong..."
There was another long silence, an eerie calm.
"I never thought you would apologize. In fact, until now, I would rather you didn't say anything..." Yuan Ye paused and turned to a mocking tone, "Hating you is quite interesting."
"Lu Jinfeng, I know what you want to hear, but I can't forgive you. I also can't stand you still using me to relieve your emotions at this time. Sometimes you really are like a child trapped in the past..." Yuan Ye thought of herself at this point, and was a little dazed for a moment, but before she stopped talking, she began to release the anger she had suppressed for a long time. "Even if you put yourself in my shoes and consider my feelings and experience what I have suffered, I cannot forgive you. I will not understand you. Instead of asking you to repent, I would rather let you suffer and suffer from the torment of betrayal."
Yuan Ye took two steps back and forth. "I really want you to kneel before me, but I know that your stupid little brain will never realize your real problem. You are not the only one in this world. Not to mention how reluctant you would be if I asked you to kneel down. That would be hatred..."
Yuan Ye shook her head slightly as she spoke, and she thought to herself contemptuously: Rather than being tortured by love, she would rather be driven by hate.
This is what she often said to comfort herself.
"Be content, Lu Jinfeng," Yuan Ye smiled silently, a malicious thought in his heart, "Not everyone is as lucky as you, to have so much love. Cherish your body."
Yuan Ye hung up the phone after saying this. Thinking of how deeply Lu Jinfeng must be hurt by her words, she felt a surge of triumph before spiraling uncontrollably into a vortex of confusion. She twirled the ice, her fingers growing stiff and cold, her vacant gaze focused into a single, clear image. She discovered that hatred couldn't bring her comfort, and love couldn't leave her alone. They seemed to share a common origin.
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