shadow
Lu Jinfeng looked at the figure walking in front of him, and his hands subconsciously tightened. As soon as he took his hands out of his pockets, he could feel the coldness of the snow. Lu Jinfeng looked away, and then looked around. He walked step by step to Bai Shunan without stopping, "The snow hasn't stopped yet, are you cold?"
Bai Shunan withdrew his gaze from the train and looked at Lu Jinfeng who had walked to his side: "Not bad."
"I'm a little cold." Lu Jinfeng smiled and waved his red, frozen hands in front of Bai Shunan.
Bai Shunan put his hands in his pockets. They weren't very warm, so he gently tapped the corners of his pockets. "There's hot water on the set."
Lu Jinfeng's smile remained unchanged. He withdrew his hand and walked side by side with Bai Shunan. He looked ahead, unable to ask what he wanted to ask. As the destination got closer and closer, he felt a blockage in his heart and wanted to say something, "Are you okay?"
"fine."
The usual indifference was there again, and Lu Jinfeng secretly felt resentful, feeling a sense of unease. The cold wind failed to clear his mind, but instead made him feel dizzy and painful. Lu Jinfeng began to replay the past in his mind, not feeling that he had done anything wrong. He even felt that he had given Bai Shunan everything he could, and also some of what he couldn't give. Why did Bai Shunan still treat him like this?
It seemed that Bai Shunan had always been like this to him. Lu Jinfeng didn't want to sink into the black hole of his thoughts anymore. He took a deep breath, frowned slightly and closed his eyes. "Did you drive smoothly last night?"
"smoothly."
Lu Jinfeng tilted his head and stared at Bai Shunan with an earnest look. Bai Shunan felt uncomfortable even walking because of the look. He looked back at him and asked, "What's wrong?"
"You sent Zhong Mianqing home last night. What did you think?"
"What can I do?"
"Then," Lu Jinfeng hesitated for a moment and asked, "You haven't seen her for so long, are your relationship still okay?"
Bai Shunan said according to his own understanding: "It's okay."
"Then," Lu Jinfeng tiptoed slightly, his voice weakening as he spoke quickly, "Are we friends now?"
"Lu Jinfeng," Jiang Yingshan ran over and patted Lu Jinfeng's shoulder impatiently. "The shooting is about to start. Why are you walking so slowly? Don't you see how bad Director Li's face is? Hurry up."
Lu Jinfeng was pushed forward for several steps. He looked back and saw Bai Shunan's eyes shifting back to the railroad tracks. Lu Jinfeng withdrew his gaze as if he had lost something. The disappointment in his heart gave rise to the resentment of being ignored. Inexplicable questions surfaced in his mind, causing a wave of annoyance.
After a quick performance at the train station to pick up his parents, Lu Jinfeng stood aside, waiting. With nothing to distract him, doubts once again swirled in his mind. His face was impassive, his brows furrowed as he stared at his hands, a bit stubbornly refusing to warm them. It felt like some uncontrollable compulsion. He didn't want to let his hands tremble with cold, but he couldn't help it.
Suddenly, another pair of hands came into his sight and held his hands that were spread out in front of him.
Lu Jinfeng's pupils trembled slightly.
The outstretched hand was almost scalding hot, the pulse throbbing at the wrist, the warmth seeping into the skin. Lu Jinfeng was startled at first, but then accepted it calmly. He wanted to ask "why", but couldn't bear to interrupt the moment.
In the end, he did nothing.
Then he realized the pleasure that had been accumulated and burst out in his body. The doubt was suppressed again. No matter how hard Lu Jinfeng tried to restrain himself, he couldn't stop the corners of his lips from rising. He raised his eyelashes slightly and looked at Bai Shunan in front of him with a smile. He saw that his eyebrows were normal, his expression was serious and focused, and he tried to warm his hands with some clumsy and hesitant movements.
Lu Jinfeng was filled with thoughts he didn't even understand. He was thinking about many things. He knew Bai Shunan was smarter than him, but he always thought he was unreasonable. He was not good at anything except studying. Everything he did was just like this, a little clumsy. In his eyes, Bai Shunan seemed to be a little ignorant and foolish, whether in his eyes or in his actions. He had clearly been more like a fool just now.
He felt the gentle kneading on his hands, knowing just enough not to go too deep.
He didn't want Bai Shunan to be like this and want him to be like this.
Lu Jinfeng looked at Bai Shunan calmly. He understood a little. Perhaps only by thinking of Bai Shunan in this way, a Bai Shunan with many flaws, could he believe that Bai Shunan would see him again.
"I knew you wouldn't ignore me." Lu Jinfeng said softly, with a feeling of regaining what he had lost. His tone was kind, with a gentle breeze, "When you were not on the crew, I was always cold."
Bai Shunan paused, speechless. What was Lu Jinfeng talking about? Bai Shunan was a little annoyed that he was holding Lu Jinfeng's hand at this moment. He couldn't understand what Lu Jinfeng was thinking, just as he couldn't explain why he had just tightly grasped the glass filled with hot water and kept looking at Lu Jinfeng with worry.
He was very tired, but he always looked at him, watching him shuttle through the bustling crowd, watching him find what he wanted to find.
"Soon, the filming will be over. What are you going to do next?"
"It's almost Chinese New Year, I have to go back to see my mother."
"Come to think of it. I still want to spend the New Year with you."
"Aren't you going home?"
"I can't stay home for long."
"I'll probably be back soon."
From then on, they did not meet again until the shooting plan started in the spring. Coincidentally, the two never took the initiative to contact each other, as if they were abiding by some unwritten rule and maintaining a tacit understanding of not disturbing each other.
Hearing Bai Shunan's words, Lu Jinfeng couldn't help but feel wildly happy. With a warm heart, he looked at Bai Shunan again, seeing the cold expression on his face so close to him, neither impatience nor patience. Lu Jinfeng suddenly felt the heat on his hand, and he pulled it back without rushing to speak. Almost instantly, he shook it again.
At this moment, Bai Shunan's phone rang. He shook off his distraction and withdrew his hand. Lu Jinfeng stopped where he was and glanced down. He saw the word "Amian" flash by, and he pursed his lips awkwardly, as if in protest.
Bai Shunan walked a few steps away before answering the phone.
Lu Jinfeng lowered his head and looked at the ground. Seeing Bai Shunan's shadow walking away, he immediately felt a contradictory and familiar panic in his heart - almost urgent, almost forced. He stepped forward step by step, like a child playing, and stepped on Bai Shunan's shadow.
"Damn, Shunan, don't let Lu Jinfeng fool you." Zhong Mianqing got angry when she thought of the series of bad messages Lu Jinfeng had sent her. He even asked her how she managed to catch up with Shunan. What a psycho! She didn't want to care at first. After replying "You have no chance", she didn't expect that the furious Lu Jinfeng would turn around and send some messages to her parents, causing her to be lectured by her parents again. Zhong Mianqing was angry no matter what she thought, and now she had to stir up trouble. She yelled, "Do you know how many terrible relationships that bastard has had? There are simply too many to count. If he does anything to you, maybe he is too immersed in the role... He is too immersed in the role. Don't... Forget it, you definitely won't... By the way, I will find time to get the cat bed. Hang up."
Bai Shunan said "Okay" softly, looked back, and saw Lu Jinfeng standing behind him.
Lu Jinfeng kept his head down, looking at the shadow on the ground. When the forgotten memories revived, only a few flashes of inspiration appeared, as if he was looking through a bubble of blurred vision, or as if he saw someone through a window that had not been cleaned for a long time. He had also deliberately walked on Bai Shunan's shadow in the past.
At this moment, he felt that Bai Shunan was like a shadow of his past.
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