The fickleness of fate
During his freshman year, Lu Jinfeng was in a car accident. He faded from people's sight while recuperating. At this time, his parents finally remembered this troublesome child, and they found faults and complained about him, arguing that they were right.
The family often said that Lu Jinfeng should not have been given this name, and that he was becoming more and more like a madman. However, this was only said after Lu Jinfeng's grandfather passed away. Originally, Lu Jinfeng's father was not very satisfied with this name, and it was Lu Jinfeng's grandfather who decided on this name on the day Lu Jinfeng was born.
On the day Lu Jinfeng was born, there was a very strong wind. His grandfather said that he had a connection with the wind and casually said the word "Jinfeng". From then on, the originally planned Lu Zhixing was abandoned.
The relationship between father and mother is not very good. They quarrel all year round and compete with each other. Most families tend to favor the younger one, but Lu Jinfeng's family is an exception. The father uses all his energy to cultivate his eldest son, while the mother favors the second daughter who has the same surname as her.
For this reason, Lu Jinfeng's older brother and sister didn't like each other very much, thinking that it was their presence that made their mother or father pay less attention to them. They were always competing with each other, vying for supremacy. However, the unexpected appearance of Lu Jinfeng eased this tension. Originally, they were still afraid that even a little bit of the family's love would make them feel uncomfortable. As time went by, their parents remained the same as before, and they were relieved. Sometimes they even sympathized with Lu Jinfeng. However, if his parents showed concern for him, they would feel unhappy.
Older brothers and sisters are always secretly competing and comparing with each other. Sometimes they are the manifestation of the struggle between their parents, and sometimes they are the medals that they are most proud of, polished to a shine.
Although the parents did not make it clear, the struggle was obvious. The struggle was more obvious among the children they cared about. Whoever was better would be more proud.
When my second sister won a prize, my mother would talk about it endlessly. After a few days, all her friends and relatives knew about it. When my eldest brother got second place in the exam, my father, who was usually taciturn, also started to talk to others.
As time went by, and due to their busy work schedules, they rarely paid attention to Lu Jinfeng. Lu Jinfeng was mostly taken care of by the nanny at home, and sometimes he was sent to live with his grandparents to play for a few days.
"Learn from your sister."
"Learn from your brother."
Such words kept appearing in Lu Jinfeng's ears, and he didn't want to go back to the school they had attended.
The broken porcelain bowl was swept into the trash can, and what belonged to him next was Cheng Liang's iron bowl, which was difficult to break.
He is unique and out of place.
He doesn't want to be special, he wants to be the same.
He became angry and smashed the bowl several times, which made his parents feel more and more that their decision was a good one.
Over time, the iron bowl had dents and bumps from his resistance, but this did not change anything. The iron bowl did not break, and even after he grew up and became sensible, it still appeared on his dining table.
It’s actually okay that older brothers and sisters sometimes deliberately show off, because their existence itself is a kind of show-off for Lu Jinfeng. He would rather be a brother or a sister. He has long seen that in this family, Lu Jinfeng is the worst.
After my grandfather passed away, fewer people paid attention to him, and he had long been accustomed to the unchanging iron bowl.
But one day, my sister's bowl broke, and my mother specially asked someone to make a porcelain bowl with a moon pattern on it.
Although my father didn't say anything, my brother's new porcelain bowl later had some rising wave patterns on it.
His elder brother Lu Yusi is a new starting point for his father.
There were only dents on his iron bowl.
The wind is transparent and invisible.
He thought there was no love between his parents, and this comforted him, as a way to balance the malice in his heart. Later he discovered that there was actually love between his parents, but that love could not erase or eliminate the contradictions in their lives and personalities, and it was that love that supported them and brought them to where they are today.
Later, their love was divided among the children they cared about respectively, and Lu Jinfeng was the product of their quarrel.
Lu Jinfeng had once tried hard to achieve something, and for a while, he felt he was on the verge of success. But then his second sister ran away. With her dream of becoming a director and some more obscure reason, she left home and their mother. The family's balance was shattered. He had just entered high school, and he tried to talk to his mother every day.
He thought this would earn him his mother's love, until one day later, when Lu Jinfeng returned home and saw his mother hugging his sister and crying, he realized that his tolerant and kind mother also had a side that was needed.
He then realized that some love is difficult to divide and inseparable, and what she needs is always a sister.
Later, after a long absence, the message was about asking about her sister's recent situation - "How is Yueyue recently? Is she too busy? She hasn't replied to the message I sent this morning yet."
He wanted to be seen, and he made the wish again.
When he was in high school, he did not attend his older brothers and sisters' school and chose another high school.
One time during the holidays, Lu Jinfeng went to look for his sister who had left home. Yes, his relationship with his brothers and sisters was not bad, and his relationship with his parents was also okay. Even if he was angry and wanted to change, he found that this delicate balance was already stronger than he thought.
It was in the studio where he found his sister that he shot the first magazine cover of his acting career. Although it did not become a big hit, it caused a small-scale discussion.
This was far from enough. He wanted to be seen, not just by the number of fans he had on the Internet. That had no sense of reality for him at that time.
God responded to him, and his call was answered, but it was the worst answer.
Towards the end of his sophomore year of high school, he beat up the stalker.
He was disgusted by this answer and taught him a lesson, so he did not appear again.
However, the entanglement of half a month that year became a nightmare for half his life.
In his dreams, he often haunted him. It would be much better to fall asleep with his voice.
Lu Jinfeng always felt that since Bai Shunan started following him, Bai Shunan was like naked. He was very confident that he knew and had seen the real Bai Shunan, the disgusting stalker.
When he was actually naked later, it was a different feeling.
After graduating from high school, Lu Jinfeng focused his life on acting.
His father started to discipline Lu Jinfeng after the car accident, hoping to correct his character in time, but ended up facing even more angry resistance.
Lu Jinfeng announced his choice with his actions, and his father's long-accumulated anger finally erupted, cutting off all his sources of livelihood.
She decided to let him go out on his own and learn some lessons so that he would know his place. At the same time, she also wanted to stop Lu Jinfeng from thinking about continuing to act.
He can't control his second daughter, but his youngest son always has some say.
Life seems to have an inherent ability to ignore, as if some emotional needs are destined to be forgotten. Lu Jinfeng's relationship with his family is not bad. Even after falling out with his father, the first thing he thought of was to go to his sister.
At that time, Lu Jinfeng felt that his life was the most miserable. After he was discharged from the hospital, he sold his things and took his meager savings to go to his sister who was living abroad. He knew that his sister was planning to make a movie.
At that time, Li Xuanyue was learning from a famous director.
Lu Jinfeng, who flew directly to a foreign country and was unfamiliar with the place, found the wrong room while using translation software to find Li Xuanyue. When he thinks about it now, he still feels annoyed by that damn sliding door.
When he pushed open the door, he saw a woman sitting astride a man, her hand lightly placed on the man's shoulder. They both looked towards the door and met Lu Jinfeng's gaze.
The woman was wearing a nightgown and had messy hair. She was startled by Lu Jinfeng opening the door so unexpectedly. She hurriedly hugged the man in front of her and hid in his shoulder. The man had a crew cut and was wearing a light-colored nightgown. His clothes were loose, with one shoulder exposed and the other half-exposed.
The man leaned forward and hugged the woman, his hands on her waist. He looked at Lu Jinfeng with a calm and indifferent look: "Can you close the door?"
Lu Jinfeng quickly said "sorry" and quickly closed the door.
Before closing the door, he watched the man pat the woman's back and comfort her softly, "It's okay, it's okay."
Lu Jinfeng wondered why he didn't close the door immediately. After thinking about it, he finally came to the point that he recognized him.
Unexpectedly, even though the stalker had a buzz cut, he still recognized him at a glance.
Forgetting is a very easy thing because you don't have to think about it, but it is also a very difficult thing. When he thought about it, he thought of him.
Fortunately, he was wearing a mask and a hat, Lu Jinfeng thought thankfully.
He walked into the corridor, rain fell along the eaves. Before he could recover, Bai Shunan walked out of the room. He was thin and looked at the rain.
Bai Shunan walked to a place and lit a cigarette.
Lu Jinfeng looked over and suddenly felt a secret and contradictory feeling in his heart, wanting him to recognize him but not wanting him to recognize him at the same time.
After Bai Shunan noticed someone was looking at him, he glanced at Lu Jinfeng and continued smoking his cigarette. Lu Jinfeng looked at him and suddenly felt annoyed and angry. It was him!
He scratched the back of his neck. As Bai Shunan finished his cigarette and was about to leave, he suddenly said, "It's raining so hard." He really wanted to have a conversation with someone who could understand him.
As soon as he said it, he regretted it, but it was too late.
Bai Shunan stopped, looked back at the rain, and said softly, "Yeah."
The sound of the raindrops became weaker, and after two years, he heard his voice again.
The crackling sound of flames burning firewood could be heard. In Lu Jinfeng's eyes, the fire seemed to burn the air. The heat waves surged in his breath, inhaled into his body, burning his respiratory tract. He was speechless. He thought of what he had just seen. He kept recalling it in his mind and could not get rid of it. He even started to think of some random things to trick his brain into stopping thinking about that scene.
Perhaps because of the shock of the scene at that time, he did not notice the cameramen standing in the corner.
"I'm sorry for disturbing you just now," Lu Jinfeng said, his throat itching.
"It's okay, she doesn't mind."
"Is that your girlfriend?"
Bai Shunan looked at the person in front of him with a strange look, "No."
Now it was Lu Jinfeng's turn to have a strange look in his eyes. His impression of Bai Shunan became even worse. His previous conflicting thoughts were suppressed, and he kept shouting in his heart that he was right.
Bai Shunan was about to say something when someone called him.
"I'm leaving."
Lu Jinfeng looked at him.
Bai Shunan took two steps and turned back to Lu Jinfeng. "It's raining here and the roads are slippery. Be careful. I'm leaving now."
"Okay." Lu Jinfeng looked at Bai Shunan in front of him and felt a little at a loss. Why did he look so stupid after cutting his hair?
As soon as Bai Shunan left, Lu Jinfeng began to feel unhappy again. The rain was still falling, and it was getting heavier. Lu Jinfeng felt empty again. Soon everything returned to calm.
Who can explain the fickleness of fate?
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