Chapter 358 (First Update) (Includes flashbacks)
358:
That year, Ye Qingxi was also fourteen years old.
At that time, he had just won the Golden Osmanthus Award for Best Newcomer and was enjoying immense success.
However, his heart was filled with repression and distress.
Before he won the award, his parents thought he wouldn't win, so in order to make the most of the Golden Laurel Award nomination, they helped him sign contracts for many TV dramas.
These TV dramas are produced solely based on actor salaries, with little regard for quality; consequently, many are poorly made.
Moreover, with too many acting offers and not enough time to spare, taking on multiple roles simultaneously became a natural occurrence.
This means that he might be on one set this morning, but on another set tomorrow afternoon, and then on the night after tomorrow, he'll be on a new set, different from the previous two, getting ready to film.
At that time, Ye Qingxi felt that she was not so much a person, but more like a filming machine.
His parents were responsible for transporting him to this machine, putting him on a plane every day, taking him to a new location, and then getting the machine running.
Ye Qingxi didn't understand why he insisted on filming these movies.
If he clearly doesn't like it and doesn't want to film it, why does he insist on repeating it day after day?
He argued with his parents and went into a cold war.
He began to feel lost, confused, and tired of acting, as well as tired of this kind of life.
That day, after finishing his performance, he went to a convenience store by himself to buy something.
After buying the items, I didn't rush back to the hotel, but instead sat on a bench not far away.
He sat quietly, and as he sat, tears began to fall for some reason.
Ye Qingxi was a little confused. He subconsciously raised his hand to wipe away his tears. The next second, he keenly noticed the presence of the camera.
Almost without thinking, Ye Qingxi stood up and walked towards the car parked not far away.
He didn't want the image of him suddenly bursting into tears to be spread.
Who knows what others will say then?
Moreover, he doesn't actually like himself as he is now.
He saw that the other person was anxiously trying to roll up the car window, so he quickly ran over and knocked on the window.
The paparazzo sitting in the car rolled down the window again, a fake smile on his face.
He said, "I didn't take your picture."
"Let me take a look," Ye Qingxi said.
The paparazzi said, "How can that be? This is my camera; you're violating my privacy."
Ye Qingxi found it amusing and said, "Then aren't you violating my privacy?"
"Celebrities don't really have any privacy," the paparazzi said. "Isn't the reason celebrities stay popular is because of everyone talking about them?"
Ye Qingxi: "..."
The paparazzi said, "But Ye Qingxi, why are you taking on so many projects lately?"
"Did these TV dramas pay you a lot?"
"How can you be so careless with your reputation!"
"I thought you would continue making movies after the Golden Laurel Award, but I didn't expect you to take on all these terrible films. You're only focused on making money and don't care about quality at all. Are you short of money lately?"
As Ye Qingxi listened, it was as if he could see the private messages his fans had sent him again: 【Why are you taking on so many bad films? Do you even want to act properly anymore?!】
You've really disappointed me. The more hopeful I was when you won the Golden Laurel Award, the more disappointed I am now!
If you're like this, you might as well not act!
[Was the Golden Osmanthus Award given to you so you could rake in money like crazy? Even if it was for the money, you shouldn't be acting in so many random TV dramas, taking on so many projects at once!]
Do you genuinely enjoy acting, or are you just doing it for the money?!
For a moment, Ye Qingxi felt so tight in her chest that she almost couldn't breathe.
"Are you short of money?" the paparazzi in the car continued to ask, "Or is it that you can never have too much money? Why not make some?"
"This is none of your business, delete my photos!"
"I already told you I didn't take your picture!"
"Then let me see your camera!"
"That won't work."
"Why not?" Ye Qingxi reached out to grab it.
The paparazzo sitting in the car didn't flinch, letting his hand grab his camera.
He looked utterly shocked and exclaimed, "Why did you steal my camera?!"
"I didn't say anything wrong. All you want to do now is make money all the time. You've completely let everyone down."
"None of your business!"
"How can it be unrelated? I'm just speaking up for everyone. Ye Qingxi, we've all watched you grow up. Can't you think about us for a moment?"
Ye Qingxi ignored him and instead yanked hard, pulling the camera out of his arms.
He heard the other person's exclamation, but ignored it, anxiously checking the camera to see the photos the other person had just taken.
However, it didn't happen.
"No way!" the paparazzi waved his hand. "I already said I didn't take any pictures of you."
Ye Qingxi: ...
"I never imagined you'd become like this." After saying that, the paparazzi snatched the camera, rolled up the car window, and drove away.
Ye Qingxi stood there, somewhat stunned.
He never imagined he would end up like this.
It has become... as if I were just someone else's puppet.
He stood quietly for a while, then turned and went back to the hotel.
That same evening, the paparazzi released the video.
Ye Qingxi was still young at that time, and he had no idea how those adults who wanted to gain traffic wanted to exploit him.
The paparazzi had planned everything from the moment he walked towards him.
He had already deleted the photos and set up a new camera to film him and Ye Qingxi.
In that camera footage, Ye Qingxi was arrogant, aggressive, and even injured someone's hand while trying to steal their things.
The paparazzi, on the other hand, became a pitiful victim who had high hopes for him and wished him to make good films, but instead received nothing but the paparazzi's condescending "it's none of your business" and the violent snatching of his camera.
It was only in this video that Ye Qingxi realized that he had previously thought the paparazzi had exclaimed in surprise because he had snatched the camera.
But in reality, the paparazzi deliberately pretended to have an injured hand the moment he took the camera away.
That's why he shook his hand afterward.
After watching his video, netizens instantly unleashed all the resentment they had accumulated.
They watched Ye Qingxi grow up. In their hearts, Ye Qingxi should be well-behaved, sensible, sunny, and polite, without any worldliness or flaws. He should continue to work hard after winning the award, create better works, and be a better person, instead of making bad dramas and constantly taking on multiple projects at once just to make money. Even when someone told him that he was letting everyone down, he arrogantly said, "It's none of your business."
Too arrogant!
Too arrogant!
He shouldn't have done that!
How could he do this?!
Netizens couldn't accept it, so they criticized and condemned him.
I felt he had become arrogant, that he was no longer the Ye Qingxi I remembered from childhood, and that he was no longer the person I thought he was.
People who had grudges against Ye Qingxi's parents were also brought up, saying that he had become arrogant after winning the Golden Osmanthus Award and only cared about money, not people.
Some people say that he was like this before the Golden Osmanthus Award, that he loved to act like a big shot, that he agreed to sign a contract with their production team, but then stood them up at the last minute and started asking for exorbitant prices.
When a wall falls, everyone pushes it down. When Ye Qingxi was at the height of his fame, those who had opinions about him and were dissatisfied with his parents' behavior dared not speak out.
But now everyone is condemning him, so those people have also stood up.
How could these people not know that this is Ye Qingxi's parents' problem?
Of course they know.
But they didn't care.
They only cared about their anger and the losses they suffered at the time.
Someone has to foot the bill, right?
Anyway, without him, none of this stuff about his parents would have happened!
After that, a bunch of messy revelations came one after another. Some people said that Ye Qingxi was not as sunny and innocent as he seemed on the surface. He was actually quite shrewd in private. After all, child stars like him had entered the industry early and were already seasoned veterans.
Some people say he's very shrewd; he associates with whoever is popular.
Some people say he actually has a foul mouth and often swears.
Some people also said they saw him beating and scolding staff on set.
What's most disgusting is that some people say that although he is young, he already understands the principles of climbing the social ladder, so he has connections with several big shots in the entertainment industry.
They didn't even have videos or photos; they just used their words or a message in a chat box to accuse him of all sorts of crimes.
Some of them are even contradictory and conflicting.
They eagerly participated in this vigorous movement to push down the wall, as if they would be left behind if they didn't give it a push.
Ye Qingxi's parents were too stingy to hire a public relations firm, believing that the truth would prevail and the matter would eventually pass.
However, those who were jealous of Ye Qingxi and wanted to take his place took advantage of this downfall to completely destroy him.
Take advantage of his illness to kill him.
They pushed so hard and fast that by the time Ye Qingxi's parents wanted to spend money to preserve her previous status, it was already too late.
Ye Qingxi fell from the highest point.
At the age of thirteen, he was elevated to godhood because of the Golden Laurel Award.
At the age of fourteen, he quickly fell from grace.
Netizens sighed, lamented, and felt sorry for him, lamenting that he was a modern-day example of a prodigy who failed to live up to his potential.
Then continue to follow other celebrities and move on with your own life.
Only his fans are sad for him.
Only those who had profited enough from his traffic were ecstatic.
He alone was abandoned in this year of despair.
Ye Qingxi's mental state completely collapsed that year.
Even with his eyes closed, all he sees are his parents' reproaches and netizens' condemnations.
His parents scolded him for grabbing the camera, for talking to the paparazzi, for saying "it's none of your business," and for making things like this for them!
Netizens asked him why he grew up like this, why he disappointed them, and why he broke their hearts!
It seemed like everything was his fault.
He shouldn't have gone shopping then, he shouldn't have lingered, he shouldn't have tried to delete that photo, and he shouldn't have clashed with the paparazzi.
He shouldn't have acted.
He shouldn't have grown up.
Perhaps, he shouldn't exist at all.
Ye Qingxi picked up the fruit knife and went into the bathroom in the dead of night.
He cut his wrists.
The blade was cold, but the blood was hot.
Ye Qingxi watched as her blood flowed out, then silently placed her wrist into the hot water he had prepared in the sink.
What beautiful colors!
He thought, "How vibrant!"
As vibrant as the flowers he had once seen.
He was watching a slow-motion photograph, appreciating the blooming and withering of a flower.
There is no emotion.
There was no sadness.
There was only an unconscious sense of ease.
He seemed to finally be less tired.
It doesn't act like a machine, but like a puppet on strings.
Instead...
Rather, it was a complete liberation.
Ye Qingxi kept filling the sink with hot water.
He felt very gentle.
I felt my body getting colder and colder.
I feel very relaxed.
He lost too much blood and collapsed completely in the bathroom.
His father, who was getting up in the middle of the night, heard the noise and ran over. He called him, but he didn't respond, and he couldn't open the door.
Finally, his father kicked open the door and found him lying on the floor.
Ye's father immediately called his wife, picked him up, and rushed him to the underground garage.
Ye Qingxi was discovered in time, so she did not actually die.
He lay on the hospital bed, his face pale.
His parents were with him, and at first they were very scared and concerned about him.
But once he recovered, they started criticizing him for being so selfish and not considering their feelings as parents at all.
He also complained about how much money was spent to save him. He wasn't earning as much money as before, and now he's spent so much. He's just making trouble out of nothing.
Ye Qingxi listened in silence, feeling that she wasn't surprised at all.
He looked at the birds flying outside the window, feeling very calm.
There was no joy or sorrow, no turmoil.
It's just a little disgusting.
He felt nauseous because his parents were in the same space as him, or rather because their words were assaulting his eardrums.
I feel nauseous, but I can't vomit.
So he asked them to leave his room.
He closed the door, and the world became quiet.
"That's great," Ye Qingxi thought.
If only his world could always be this peaceful.
Even now, even in a different world, when Ye Qingxi recalls her fourteen-year-old self, she feels depressed and exhausted.
He shook his head, instinctively wanting to distance himself from that past.
Ye Qingxi pulled back the covers and lay down.
He picked up his phone again and looked at the message he hadn't sent.
Huo Zinan blocked him. They only exchanged WeChat contacts back then, not phone numbers, so apart from the WeChat contact he can no longer reach, he has no other way to contact him.
However, Ye Qingxi thought that his Weibo homepage might have it, as Weibo homepages usually include a contact email address for business cooperation.
I just don't know if he's the one checking the mailbox, or if his parents are.
If it were his parents...
Perhaps because her own parents were unreliable, Ye Qingxi subconsciously harbored some doubts about Huo Zinan's parents as well.
However, he still opened Weibo.
Upon opening it, the video of Huo Zinan and the paparazzi that I had clicked on earlier started playing again.
Ye Qingxi intended to quit, and had even pressed the quit button, but then she inadvertently caught sight of Huo Zinan's arm.
It was so subtle and fleeting that Ye Qingxi didn't notice it during her previous two viewings.
He quickly re-entered the video, zoomed in, and then took out his tablet to watch it again.
Ye Qingxi paused the video, looking at the frozen image of Huo Zinan's hidden secret with some astonishment.
September isn't too cold, but it's past its hottest time, so there's a wide variety of clothing to wear.
So there's nothing wrong with Huo Zinan wearing a long-sleeved shirt.
The problem was that, in the instant he reached for the camera, his shirt sleeve slipped up slightly, revealing a very short and barely noticeable scar.
Those were scars that Ye Qingxi was very familiar with.
He used to have it on his arm too.
After he cut his wrists, during his moments of pain, and whenever he felt like he didn't want to live anymore, he would consciously or unconsciously take out the knife he had hidden and make a cut, whether light or heavy.
Once some are done, he'll draw another line.
Ye Qingxi froze.
He dared not imagine how many scars were on the sleeve of Huo Zinan's shirt.
He felt as if he were seeing his former self again.
That painful, desperate, and powerless self.
What can a fourteen-year-old child do?
He had the heartbreak of dying once.
But he didn't even manage to die.
For some reason, Ye Qingxi felt as if she had returned to that afternoon.
He raised his hand and touched the coldness on his face.
But he had nothing to cry about.
He is very happy now.
He is no longer the Ye Qingxi of yesteryear.
He will never encounter those things again.
So why did he cry again?
because……
Because of... Huo Zinan?
Ye Qingxi slowly wiped away the tears on her face.
It's okay, he thought.
He, at fourteen, couldn't save his fourteen-year-old self.
But now that he's fourteen, perhaps he can help Huo Zinan, who will soon be fourteen.
So that his fourteenth year wouldn't be spent living in pain and repression.
May his fourteenth year be something that can be remembered, something he is willing to remember, something that deserves to be remembered.
He has grown up.
He is no longer the Ye Qingxi he once was.
He can't save his past self.
But perhaps he can save Huo Zinan now.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
