Amid the flashes of lightning and the rumbling sounds outside the window, Jiang Que seemed to have transformed into a stone sculpture, staring quietly at the piece of letter paper.
It is so familiar, so familiar that it is almost unforgettable.
Those childish handwriting and simple words should have been still, but now, as if cast under some kind of spell, they swayed and floated up from the paper, enveloping and surrounding him, traveling through thousands of days and nights, bringing him back to that late summer many years ago.
It was the end of August in a small town on the southern border.
In front of the welfare home after the rain, the departing boy leaned over and whispered in his ear:
"Wait for me. I'll come to see you during the winter break."
So he kept the surprise in his arms, nodded obediently, and from then on began to count the days and wait quietly.
From the gradual fading of cicada chirping to the arrival of autumn wind, from the mountains covered with red maples to the arrival of white snow.
However, after the sun sets and rises, the clouds roll and disperse, after winter passes and spring arrives, the grass grows and the birds fly, even the kitten in his arms, which smells of milk, has grown up, the boy still hasn't come.
In the early spring of that year, the little boy sat under a pear tree covered in falling petals, holding his pale yellow kitten in his arms, lost in thought:
Maybe he was just delayed by something, or maybe... he just didn't make it in time.
However, another voice in his heart told him:
Perhaps the boy's promise was just a careless remark, perhaps he had already forgotten it, perhaps that summer was just a fleeting cloud in his life.
When the peony flowers had all fallen and the new lotus flowers began to appear, the only remaining hope of luck gradually disappeared, and the other voice finally gained the upper hand little by little.
It was in May of that year that an artist couple came to the border town and applied to the welfare home to adopt him.
That application meant that he would no longer be an unwanted child, that he could have parents and a place called "home" that he had never dared to imagine.
This should have been a great blessing and temptation for an orphan, but when the young boy heard the news, his initial reaction was not surprise, but hesitation and confusion.
Are you really leaving?
But what if...what if he comes to see me again?
Even though his expectations have been dashed time and time again, even though he knows that this may just be his wishful thinking, he still can't help but deceive himself by thinking this way.
Until May gradually came to an end and June came quietly with the sound of cicadas, the couple was about to set off and return. Even the dean came to persuade him personally not to miss such a good opportunity.
So, he finally gave up that unrealistic fantasy, finally chose to stop, and finally... nodded slightly.
That night, he sat at a mottled desk under a dim desk lamp, holding a half-worn pen and a few pieces of simple letter paper. He used the few simple words he had learned to write a thank-you letter that was about to be left behind with sincerity and careful consideration of every word.
Yes, thanks.
Even though the young man who had promised to come and see him did not come in the end, his heart was still filled with gratitude.
Thank you to him and his parents for coming into his world like gods on that rainy mountain road that day and saving him from the thorns and shackles. Thank you also to the young man for accompanying him and giving him that dreamlike summer.
Knowing that the boy might never come again and knowing that the letter might never reach the other party, he still wrote meticulously and carefully.
The tip of the pen slid across the letter paper awkwardly, word by word, sentence by sentence, gradually covering the entire sheet of paper.
Outside the window, the evening breeze gradually rises, rustling the branches, accompanied by the faint chirping of cicadas in the distance, as if inadvertently whispering a spell, quietly opening a crack in time and space -
Time fluctuates rapidly.
Under the dim light, the words on the simple letter paper trembled and floated up, carrying the young children around the table, across thousands of mountains and rivers and countless days and nights, and arrived today many years later.
There was still lightning and heavy rain outside the floor-to-ceiling window. The small desk and dim desk lamp turned into a carpet under his knees and a wardrobe beside him. The only thing that remained unchanged was the piece of letter paper, which was still quietly spread out before his eyes.
The child from back then has now grown taller. He kneels and stares at the words on the paper, immersed in those distant yet real memories.
He seemed to be surrounded by some kind of barrier, and had a condensed aura, so much so that even though Song Yecheng was clearly behind him, he didn't dare to make a sound to disturb him.
After a long time, Song Yecheng squatted down, raised his hand tentatively and gently touched his shoulder.
It was not until this moment that Jiang Que seemed to finally wake up from his memories and slowly turned his head.
The only light from the cell phone in his hand was shining downwards on the letter paper, so the face in the dark should have been difficult to see clearly, but Song Yecheng still clearly caught a glimpse of those clear and bright eyes, and the trance and confusion that emanated from those eyes.
At this moment, the feeling of déjà vu that had repeatedly emerged in Song Yecheng's mind once again burst out from his subconscious. Unlike the vagueness and obscurity of each time before, this time it came extremely strongly and almost hit his brain directly.
At the same time, in the flash of lightning outside the window, Jiang Que's lips moved slightly——
"You later..." he murmured dreamily, "did you come back to find me?"
Like a bolt of lightning.
The extended meaning behind these words finalized the feeling of déjà vu——
The ripples in his eyes suddenly penetrated through layers of fog, completely coinciding with the moment when the boy looked up on the rainy mountain road many years ago!
Song Yecheng's pupils suddenly shrank, and all the blood in his body rushed to his head. In a flash, countless clues that had been ignored emerged in his mind like a tide.
They were both orphans, and both were adopted at the age of six or seven. He repeatedly felt a familiar look in her eyes, and when he mentioned the "little friend" he had met that year, she asked him hesitantly yet expectantly, "Do you remember what he looked like?"
even……
There is also the pen name that sounds similar to Bai Ye Ling.
810.
That wasn't just some random number, but the date when they first met on the mountain road!
Song Yecheng felt like a person who had closed his eyes and ears, and realized belatedly that he was hopeless.
In fact, Jiang Que had never deliberately concealed his identity. Anyone who paid a little attention should have noticed those obscure implications and hints that he was reluctant to say!
At this moment, he didn't even know whether he was more surprised or distressed. His usual relaxed expression and words seemed to have lost their effect. His fingertips touched Jiang Que's cheek helplessly, and even his voice trembled slightly: "...It's you?"
The words were questions, but he said them so eagerly and confidently.
Jiang Que looked back at him with eyes full of water, raised her hand and covered the back of his hand: "...It's me."
Song Yecheng blinked with joy and excitement, and almost awkwardly and helplessly embraced him in his arms: "I thought... I thought..."
I thought that missing you that time would be a lifelong regret and there would never be a chance to see you again.
Jiang Que rested his head on his shoulder, listening to his unfinished words, his throat suddenly choked with sobs: "So you finally went... right?"
There was no need to ask this question, because if Song Yecheng had not gone there again, he would not have received the letter.
The reason why he still asked was more like an obsession with wanting to hear confirmation in person, as if only in this way could he properly put an end to the regret that had been hidden in his heart for many years.
"Of course," Song Yecheng said, "Didn't I say I would definitely go at the end of June?"
The first half of the sentence was not unexpected to Jiang Que, but when he heard the second half, he couldn't help but be dazed for a moment, and after a moment he said in a daze: "...What?"
This rhetorical question made Song Yecheng also stunned. He then held Jiang Que's arms and slightly distanced himself from him, trying to discern his expression.
After a few seconds, he seemed to realize something and frowned uncertainly, "Didn't the dean tell you?"
Seeing Jiang Que blinking in confusion, Song Yecheng explained, "I called him before winter break and asked him to tell you that I had to appear in a movie at short notice and would come to you as soon as I finished filming at the end of June. Didn't he tell me that?"
The movie that Song Yecheng participated in that year was his first play, which was later the award-winning "The Abyss".
Jiang Que knew about this matter, but he did not learn it from the dean. It was not until the second year after he was brought back to Su City by his adoptive parents that he recognized Song Yecheng at a glance when he saw the play on the movie channel. He also specially checked the relevant information about the filming of the movie, and only then did he know what the boy who did not show up for the appointment had done.
But he never knew that Song Yecheng had come to find him after the filming of the movie, and he didn't know about the appointment at the end of June. Otherwise, he would not have thought that the parting promise was just a casual remark and had been forgotten long ago after his hopes were repeatedly dashed.
——The dean never mentioned that phone call.
Why didn't he say it?
Jiang Que thought incredulously, his eyes inadvertently sweeping across the letter in front of him. After a slight pause, he suddenly asked, "Is this letter from him to you?"
"Yes," Song Yecheng said, "When I went there, he said you had been adopted by a couple and only left this letter."
Before returning to the town that year, he had never thought that there would be a possibility that he would not see her again, so when he heard the news from the dean, he was stunned.
However, the dean told him that the couple had very high family conditions and personal qualities, which was absolutely rare and excellent adoption conditions for an orphan.
So, even though he felt a lot of regret in his heart, he had no choice but to accept this established fact and took the letter left behind from the dean.
"When he gave it to you..." Jiang Que seemed extremely confused, as if realizing a possibility he had never thought of. "Is it only this half?"
This time, it was Song Yecheng who blinked blankly. He looked down at the letter and repeated, as if he didn't understand the meaning of the words, "Half?"
It's no wonder he couldn't understand, because the letter was clearly a whole piece of paper, without any signs of being torn, and the content was also in standard letter format, from the salutation at the beginning to the signature at the end, nothing was missing, and it didn't look like "half" at all.
Jiang Que picked up the letter and asked as if to confirm, "Did he only give you this one?"
Now Song Yecheng finally reacted. It seemed that the "half" Jiang Que mentioned was not referring to this piece of letter paper, but the whole letter.
"You left more than one?" he asked.
This rhetorical question was actually equivalent to answering Jiang Que's question - he indeed only got this one, and he thought he only got this one.
Jiang Que couldn't help but be stunned for a moment. After a moment, he smiled bitterly as if he was suddenly enlightened and somewhat self-deprecatingly.
"There's another one," he said.
When he first saw this piece of letter, all his attention was focused on the fact that "Song Yecheng went back later", and he didn't think about why there was only this one piece of letter.
Or perhaps in his subconscious, even the appearance of this one was an accident, and the other one might still be in the closet, or it might have been lost after all these years.
But he didn't expect that Song Yecheng never got the other one from beginning to end.
Jiang Que looked at the letter in his hand, and with a slightly bitter smile, he said softly, "On that one... I wrote down the address and phone number of my new home."
Song Yecheng was stunned.
Because Jiang Que's words were like overturning a mixed bag of emotions in his heart, making him feel like he had something stuck in his throat for a moment.
——When he learned that the boy had been adopted, he tried to find out the other party's contact information, but the director did not give it to him. He also told him that no adoptive family would want the child they adopted to be still connected to their previous life. It would be a disturbance to them and cause them trouble.
This is actually not without reason, because most adopters do not want anyone to know that their children are not their biological children. If they do not completely cut off contact with the adoptive party, then even if they change the child's name, there is still a risk of the information being leaked by someone who knows the situation.
Although Song Yecheng was only twelve years old at that time, he was already able to understand the interests involved.
Because of this, even though the welfare home had been taken over by Song Sheng at that time, as the "crown prince", if he insisted on checking the adoption records, the director might not be able to stop him, but he still did not allow himself to act recklessly according to his selfish desires.
He once thought that this was the best option for the child - let him live a new life, not disturb his new home, and not become a tangled "hidden danger" in the eyes of his new parents.
However, at this moment, when he heard Jiang Que's words, all the clear rationality that he had once been sure of suddenly shattered into pieces.
He recalled the child Jiang Bei had mentioned, who sat quietly on a bench by the lake after school, unwilling to go home. He recalled the day he filmed the Fang Zhi couple arguing over their adopted daughter, the image of the child staring blankly at the mirror in the dressing room, and when Jiang Que had been discussing why his adoptive mother refused to teach him piano, he had said, in a self-deprecating, evasive way, "Maybe I don't have much talent."
All the details seemed to be clamoring in Song Yecheng's mind to tell him that Jiang Que had not had a good life in the years since he was adopted, and his decision, which he thought was mature, was more like a wishful self-hypnosis.
"At that time..." Song Yecheng stroked Jiang Que's cheek, his throat seemed to be blocked by thousands of words, and he even choked with some uncontrollable sobs, "You hoped that I could contact you, right?"
Jiang Que's long, fine eyelashes trembled slightly, and in an instant they were covered with a misty fog.
He couldn't say no against his will, but he couldn't bear the choking in Song Yecheng's voice and didn't want to add more color to the regret.
certainly.
Of course he hoped so.
But rather than hope, it is more like an extravagant hope for a miracle.
After all, at that time he was not even sure whether Song Yecheng would go to the town again, so how could he dare to further imagine that he got the letter, saw the address and number and actually contacted him.
It was precisely because he did not dare to fantasize that when he moved to his new home and did not receive any letters or phone calls for a long time, he was not as disappointed as he had expected.
Even when he saw Song Yecheng on TV and witnessed the young man enter the public eye with that movie and become more and more well-known and loved by people, he never felt lost or resentful, but only a feeling similar to "it should be this way" -
Such a brilliant and dazzling person should not be confined by any constraints. He should be the focus of everyone's attention, the center of attention, favored, and looked up to.
——Because he deserves it.
A thousand thoughts flashed through his mind, but in reality, it took only a few seconds. Jiang Que stared at the man before him, knowing that he was still waiting for his answer.
So, he gently and slowly curled the corners of his lips, his eyes filled with a relieved and gentle light: "It's all over."
He said, "Even if there were regrets in the past, it's enough to be able to meet you again now and know that you haven't forgotten me."
These words are not just comfort.
If he still had any grudges over the years, it was only because he had thought that the boy's parting promise was just a casual remark that he believed to be true.
Now that he saw this piece of letter and knew that Song Yecheng had never forgotten, the regret in his heart was completely healed.
Song Yecheng's eyes were slightly red.
He looked at the relieved smile on Jiang Que's lips, and his heart felt like it was being tightly grasped by a hand, burning and painful.
He raised his hand and embraced the person in front of him again, as if he had embraced a lost treasure. He rested his chin on the soft and slightly cool temples and exhaled a hot breath intermittently and sighingly.
The thunderstorm outside was still going on, but the rumbling thunder seemed to be blocked by some kind of barrier.
At this moment, in the dark room, the only sound that stirred their eardrums was the sound of two hearts beating in their pressed chests.
They all kept silent, as if using the darkness and the uneven body temperature transferred to each other due to their different temperatures to calm their overly turbulent emotions.
After an unknown amount of time, Song Yecheng's lips, pressed against Jiang Que's temples, finally moved slightly: "You know, if I hadn't filmed that drama back then, or if you hadn't left after it was finished, you might be my brother now."
His voice was very soft, but it did not reveal too much regret. In fact, if you listened carefully, it sounded more like an exclamation with a slight smile.
Jiang Que didn't know that he had originally planned to adopt him, so he was stunned when he heard this.
However, before he could react, Song Yecheng had already held his shoulders and pulled him a few inches away, looking into his eyes as if brewing something to say, and his breathing became a little unstable even though they were so close.
Two seconds later, he suddenly chuckled, lowered his eyes to look at Jiang Que's lips, and gently stroked them with his thumb:
"So... I didn't have the chance to be your brother back then, but can I be your boyfriend now?"
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