Jiang Que:
When I wrote this name, I actually felt a little strange, as if I was calling you and myself at the same time.
How should I introduce myself to you?
If one day my existence is discovered, according to those doctors, they will probably define me as your "secondary personality" split out.
But they probably wouldn't have thought that I was actually the original owner of this body, and you were the one that was actually split off.
That late night twenty years ago, I witnessed my father killing my mother.
I remember the messy blood all over the room, the swaying chandelier on the ceiling, the strong, pungent smell of blood, my father's heart-wrenching cries after he woke up, and the final dull sound of the knife piercing into flesh.
That was the most terrifying memory of my life. I curled up under the bed, trembling like a little animal, feeling the fear and despair swallowing me up and dragging me into the bottomless darkness until I completely lost consciousness.
That's when you showed up.
When I woke up again, I found that I was still aware of everything around me, but there would be no more emotional fluctuations, no more fear, tension, sadness and other emotions, because I already had you.
You will think for me, answer for me, and react to everything around me for me.
You are like a shield, a protective umbrella, bearing all the hurt and pain for me, hiding me deep in my soul, isolating me from the world, and making me a free and safe bystander.
And I just accepted your existence with peace of mind, and let you protect me from the wind and rain and take on everything with peace of mind, and hid behind you for a full nineteen years.
During these 19 years, I have witnessed the struggles and pain you have gone through countless times.
I have seen you being bullied and beaten in the orphanage, I have seen you escaping from the cage in a rainstorm, I have seen you hear Ye Ying wanting to give you up through the door, I have seen you feeling heartbroken when Huang Mao fell from the building, I have seen you bearing the grief of Jiang Di's death and still being abused and tortured by Ye Ying, and I have also seen you standing on the 18th floor in the biting cold wind, looking down at the building, standing there all night long.
Every time I know clearly that if it weren't for you, all this pain would have been borne by me. I also had the urge to share your burden, but in the end I gradually retreated in cowardice and continued to hide.
Until that day.
I watched the final outcome of Ye Ying's death unfold before my eyes, watched the nightmare-like scene replay itself in the pouring rain, watched He Jingsheng get into the car and leave as you watched him at night, and you turned silently and walked into the night rain, as if you were walking out the last chapter of your life.
At that moment I finally realized that I couldn't keep running away.
Because you are already walking on the edge of a cliff. If you take one more step forward, we will perish together.
So when you returned home and walked towards the balcony again in the dark, I finally did something I hadn't done in 19 years - I forcibly took control of my body.
However, I don't know whether it was because my intention was too abrupt or because you were still awake at the time, but my fight was met with fierce resistance. This resistance caused us to suffer an unprecedented impact at the same time, as if two forces collided with each other, both suffered losses, and eventually we both fell into silence.
It was a day later when I regained consciousness.
At that time, you were sitting in an unfamiliar room, writing in your diary with your head down. When I looked through your eyes at the contents of the diary, I suddenly discovered something I had never expected -
Your memory is drastically distorted.
You have completely forgotten everything that happened in the past year, and instead have fantasies of "rebirth" and "Jiang Di and Ye Ying settling abroad."
I'm not sure if this was caused by the violent collision of our consciousnesses, but at that moment, I just felt that this was probably the arrangement of fate, or it can also be understood as the instinct of life. It was the instinctive desire to survive that rewrote your memory and left you with a glimmer of hope when you were on the verge of despair.
Yes, a glimmer of hope.
Although there is hope, it is only a slim glimmer.
Because although it temporarily prevents you from giving up on yourself, it cannot last long. After all, the deaths of Jiang Di and Ye Ying are too easy to verify, and sooner or later you will wake up from your dream.
Once you wake up from the dream, you will return to the original track, burdened with heavy pain and self-blame, and find that everything around you is still so worthless, and eventually end up with the same ending.
This looks like a futile delay.
Unless before waking up from the dream, your mentality can be completely changed, you can have a real desire to survive, find a reason to live and a desire for the future.
This is so difficult, but it is the only way to survive.
So I decided to give it a try anyway.
So that night after you fell asleep, I tried to take control of my body again. This time, probably because you were already asleep, I didn't encounter much obstruction during the whole process.
The next morning, I went to a pet store because the first thing that came to my mind was to get a pet to tie you down. After all, you once cherished Huangmao so much. If you have a cat now, maybe you will also feel attached to it.
However, just when I picked one and was about to buy it, I suddenly thought of a question - you don’t know my existence, and you may not be able to share the memories I left behind. So when you wake up and suddenly find that you have an extra cat, what will be your reaction?
Thinking about this, I realized that I couldn't rush into this matter. I at least had to confirm how much of my memory you could share, so I immediately returned home and handed control back to you.
The confirmed result was beyond my expectation.
After you woke up, you knew nothing about your actions during the time I controlled your body, but you developed new fantasies because of the partial impressions I left on you - the cat I chose became the cat picked up and adopted by Song Yecheng in your "past life memory". You even imagined its origins, thinking it was a wild cat that appeared on the filming location of a certain crew.
I never imagined that my actions would have such an impact on you, but at the same time, I was also enlightened by the emergence of this new fantasy -
Songye City.
Why did he become part of your fantasy when what I did had nothing to do with him?
The answer is obvious.
This person has left a vivid mark in your memory for 19 years, and can give you strength with just a photo or a video. If there is anything else in this world that you can't let go of, is there a better choice than him?
No more.
He is your lifeline.
It is also the only one.
This realization finally helped me find the right direction. Combined with the impact my behavior could have on you, I knew what I should do almost instantly.
In your fantasy of rebirth, his advertisement had appeared at the scene of both accidents. This seemed to me to be a perfect entry point. All I had to do was magnify this point and make it the reason for you to go to Songye City.
I found the news about Yongquan Water launching new products in previous years, picked out the key points and browsed through them repeatedly to deepen your impression of "Yongquan Water is about to launch a new product" and "Song Yecheng is about to be the spokesperson", making you more and more convinced that the advertisements you saw in your "two previous lives" were all new product advertisements, and the launch of the new product and his endorsement are secretly related to your "car accident".
That part went extremely well, and now it's time to really connect with each other.
This is actually the most difficult step in my opinion.
Because to you, he is a ray of light that shines into the darkness when you are young, the one who saves you from danger, and it is not an exaggeration to even call him faith.
But to him, you may just be a scenery that he happened to pass by when he was young, and you didn't even leave a deep impression on him - after all, he never fulfilled his promise of "see you during the winter vacation", which shows that he may not care much about that experience.
Even though you are no longer just the child you were back then, and you have also become the screenwriter of "Twins", this does not seem to attract too much of his attention, let alone make him actively approach your world.
So, I need more chips, or in other words, more reasons for him to pay attention to you.
So, I thought of prophecy.
Predicting that he would win the Best Actor award was my first attempt.
At that time, I was not sure whether this would happen, but judging from the films and protagonists nominated, he was clearly the most likely candidate. What's more, he was acting in your script, and I had extraordinary confidence in your script.
The way I guided you to imagine that "Song Yecheng won the Best Actor Award" was also very simple and crude - I searched for countless awards he had won, watched his award ceremony and acceptance speech repeatedly, then registered an account on Yundian and opened a book, wrote the beginning of the first chapter of the prophecy for you, and stopped the computer on that page.
As I expected, after you woke up, you had new fantasies because of the impression I left on you.
Although the writing page on the computer made you vaguely doubt whether there was something wrong with your memory, because I knew your wording habits too well and the sentences I wrote were exactly in your usual style, after a brief hesitation, you still accepted the fact that "it was written by you" and understood this memory deviation as forgetfulness caused by "rebirth".
Later, the awards were announced, and this "prophecy" naturally became a reality.
However, although this attempt was successful, it can only be regarded as a test mixed with an element of luck. After all, not everything can be bet on within a clear range like predicting the best actor. If I want to create more accurate "predictions", I must do it myself and accurately control the variables.
So as you can see, everything involved in the following book was done by me in advance——
The press conference at the end of the year was originally held for "Twins", and the venue was booked in advance. I used your identity as a screenwriter to get a pass from the venue manager, adjusted the frequency of the wireless microphone receiver in the main venue in advance, and removed the microphone battery, leaving you with the impression that "the microphone would malfunction", and made it a reality smoothly.
I was also the one who facilitated the exposure of Tang Yao and Song Yecheng’s relationship.
When I went to the set of "Heaven Will Snow", I accidentally heard that Tang Yao refused to be tied to the hype. Later, when He Jingsheng complained to you, I learned that Tang Yao was troubled by his pursuit. So I reminded Tang Yao through WeChat as an anonymous friend that she could use the hype that was stranded at the time to resolve the entanglement. In the conversation, I specifically mentioned the method of "using paparazzi to expose it", and I also found many photos of the two of them in the same frame during the promotion on the Internet, which gave you the impression that she and Song Yecheng were "photographed on a date".
As for the incident of "falling into the water while filming", it was the one that was most out of my control.
My original plan that day was to go to the crew and first confirm their subsequent shooting arrangements and attire, and then find an opportunity to enter the costume room and leave some anhydrous cobalt chloride powder on the corresponding costumes for rain scenes or water scenes. This way, the costumes will turn red once they come into contact with water, creating a "blood and water" effect, allowing you to predict a bizarre "paranormal event" in advance.
The first half of the matter went smoothly. I successfully confirmed that they would be filming a water scene in ten days, and also confirmed the corresponding costume for that scene. But unfortunately, the costume was worn by Song Yecheng that day. If I wanted to get close to the costume, I had to wait until all the scenes for that day were finished.
What’s even more unfortunate is that the filming mission that day will continue until the second half of the night. If I finish everything according to the original plan, I will miss the midnight flight and can only take the flight back at noon the next day. In the afternoon, I also have to search for some pictures of supernatural events to leave an impression on you. Then when you wake up at night, you will find that you have "slept" for two whole days.
I wasn't sure if such a long sleep would alert you, so I was hesitating whether to give up the original plan temporarily and make other arrangements.
Just as I was hesitating, a small incident happened in the crew.
When the wire winch appeared in front of me, I actually thought for a moment that it would be nice to just take advantage of it and let it have some problems, so as to create another prophecy. After all, the only scene that needed to use the wire was the water scene, and even if something went wrong, the most I could do was fall into the water, and I wouldn't be seriously injured.
But this cannot guarantee safety 100%, and I know you will never tolerate me joking about Song Yecheng's safety, so in the end I had no choice but to give up this idea, gave up my original plan, and caught the midnight flight back to the capital.
As for why the wirework still had problems later and why the "prophecy" still came true, the reasons are even ridiculous to me. If you are interested, you can ask the props team leader who brought me, or brought you into the group at that time. He should know better than me.
Okay, that’s all I have to tell you.
The reason I'm telling you all this is because I know that your fantasy of rebirth will be shattered sooner or later. Once it's shattered, the "past life memories" built on it will also collapse.
If you still don't know my existence by then, you will definitely find those "memories" incredible, so I left this letter to tell you the truth.
I had intended to write this letter later, at least until your fantasy of rebirth was shattered.
But, I may not be able to wait until then.
From the third time my consciousness exchanged with yours, I found that it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to take control of my body, and the transition time required was becoming longer and longer.
Until this time today, it took a full four hours from the time you fell asleep to the time I took full control.
I don’t know what this means. Maybe it means that your consciousness has become stronger and stronger than mine and can suppress me more and more. Or maybe it means that this body feels the fatigue brought by the alternation of consciousness, so a reaction similar to "rejection" occurs.
All in all, it may be difficult for me to have the opportunity to make this kind of alternation in the future. I may return to the depths again, or one day, I may completely cease to exist.
So, I wrote this letter in the form of handwriting at the end of the diary. According to the frequency of your diary writing, it should be several months later when you find it on this page.
I once fantasized that it would be better if you never discovered my existence, so that you would never know that you were born out of pain, and behind the pain you experienced, there was a cowardly shadow like me hiding.
But I knew it wasn't possible, especially after everything I'd done.
I have never protected you all these years, and now I am trying to pull you away from the edge of the cliff, but I can't seem to find the right way.
Fortunately, although the method was crude, it was not in vain.
At least, he actually came.
Just this morning, he finally knocked on that door and walked into your world.
Although this beginning is not so real, and even seems like a dream I deliberately made up for you, but even if it is just a dream, a good dream is always much better than a nightmare.
Now that he's here, I can leave.
I hope you can wake up from this dream later, and I hope that after waking up, what is left for you will not only be desolate.
February 21, 2020
After reading the entire letter, Song Yecheng sat at the table in a daze for a long time.
It is impossible to say that I am not shocked, but what is more than shock is actually enlightenment, the enlightenment that has finally connected the cause and effect after clearing away layers of fog.
If their previous inference about the existence of "shadow" was just based on logic, then the appearance of this letter undoubtedly provided conclusive evidence for this inference.
However, no matter how bold their inferences were, they could not have imagined that there was such a big secret hidden in it - the shadow was not a personality that Jiang Que split out when he developed delusions, but a personality that he was born with from the very beginning.
Judging from the content of the last few paragraphs and the date at the end, this letter should have been written on the night when Song Yecheng first went to the tube building. This time point was unexpectedly early, but it also explained why the letter mentioned such a worry -
"To you, he was a ray of light that shone into the darkness of your childhood... But to him, you might just be a piece of scenery he happened to pass by... After all, the promise he made back then to see you during winter break never came true..."
At that time, Song Yecheng didn't know Jiang Que's identity, and the misunderstanding between the two had not been resolved. So from Shadow's perspective, he would naturally understand Song Yecheng's failure to keep his promise as a sign of "not taking it to heart."
As for the fact that Song Yecheng was a fan of Bai Yeling's books, there was no way to know about this. Perhaps because of this, he chose to use such a tortuous and elaborate method to "attract" Song Yecheng to come closer, but he didn't know that just the three words "Bai Yeling" were enough to make Song Yecheng happily rush over, not to mention that this person was the bell from that year.
Recalling the night when they first met in the tube building, Song Yecheng couldn't help but think of Jiang Que's "traveling through a book" story at that time.
Although that was just a pretext Jiang Que used to test his attitude and cover up his "rebirth", but now thinking about it, it seemed to be a metaphor for the truth -
The trajectories of their fate intersect again because of the prophecy "written" by the shadow. If the shadow is the writer of the book who laid the foreshadowing, then aren't he and Jiang Que just like the characters in the book who met along the established plot?
However, although the meeting was artificially facilitated, everything that happened after the meeting was completely out of their control. I am afraid that even Shadow, the planner, could not have expected that their relationship would develop step by step into what it is today.
Going around in circles, cause and effect are entangled.
For a moment, Song Yecheng couldn't explain whether it was the drama arranged by Shadow that gave him and Jiang Que the opportunity to rekindle their past relationship, or it was the past relationship they had long ago that gave this drama the opportunity to be performed.
After a long silence, Song Yecheng finally digested everything in the letter.
He did not dwell on this cause and effect any further, but instead turned his attention to another matter—
When they deduced in the hospital that Jiang Que had another personality, they had basically attributed all events related to the prophecy to the Shadow's human manipulation, and this was also confirmed in this letter.
However, although the letter has explained the ins and outs of most of the prophecies, there is still one point that is not completely clear, and that is the incident of falling into the water during filming.
According to Shadow, his original goal in going to the crew was not to destroy the winch, and he gave up the idea of using the winch because he took Jiang Que's thoughts into consideration.
If that's the case, why did the winch malfunction in the end? And what about the dashcam footage?
At this moment, the cell phone in my pocket suddenly rang.
Song Yecheng took it out and saw that the caller was He Jingsheng, so he quickly picked up the phone: "Hello?"
"He's awake." He Jingsheng said concisely.
Song Yecheng immediately closed the diary: "I'll be there soon."
"Don't worry," He Jingsheng said, "The doctor just went in to see him and said he's in good spirits. Zuo Jianqing has asked all the doctors and nurses to come out and talk to him alone. It's probably going to take quite a while, so you'll have to wait outside when you get here, so there's no need to rush."
Hearing this, Song Yecheng hurriedly asked, "Is Zuo Jianqing nearby? Let him answer the phone first."
He Jingsheng didn't understand what was going on, but he still said "Oh". A brief conversation between the two of them soon came out of the receiver, followed by Zuo Jianqing's voice: "Hello? What's going on?"
Song Yecheng said: "I found something here, it's quite important. I'll send it to you now. It's best to take a look before you talk to him."
Zuo Jianqing was slightly stunned: "Okay, then send it to me."
Song Yecheng didn't say anything more. After hanging up the phone, he immediately took a photo of Yingzi's letter and sent it over, and added some text to explain the part about Jiang Que's original family.
Although he knew that Zuo Jianqing might talk to Jiang Que for a long time and he didn't need to rush over, Song Yecheng didn't want to delay any longer. After sending the message, he immediately walked out of the study and went into the master bedroom.
He put the diary into the suitcase prepared for Jiang Que, and checked whether all other things were brought. After confirming that everything was correct, he reached out to close the lid and zipped it up.
However, when he had pulled the zipper halfway, he suddenly paused, as if he had thought of something. After hesitating for a moment, he pulled the zipper open again.
He took out Jiang Que's cell phone, then turned around, opened the drawer of the bedside table, and took out two things from it.
After about ten minutes, he put the items in his hands back in their places, zipped up his bag again, picked it up and walked out of the room.
A moment later.
The car slowly drove out of the back door of the villa from the basement. Song Yecheng, who was sitting in the driver's seat, was holding the steering wheel, but he was calling Tang Yao through the Bluetooth headset.
"Hello?" The call was quickly connected.
Song Yecheng got straight to the point and asked, "Where are your driving videos stored?"
"It was automatically uploaded to the cloud," Tang Yao said, "What's wrong?"
Song Yecheng said: "Can you lend me your account? I want to check something."
"Okay," Tang Yao agreed quickly, "I'll send it to you now."
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