Chapter 16
It was late at night and the world was quiet. The moon was above the treetops, and its bright light filled the whole yard.
Tong Yufei opened the third mahogany box, which contained the dowry she had prepared for her wedding: two chiffon dresses, one red and one pink, a gray and white plaid shirt, four coarse cloth sheets, three pairs of polyester trousers and a denim vest, a pair of red leather shoes and a silver bracelet given by Tong Wan, and the rest of the things were given to her by the elders and children of the Mo family after she got married. Some of them were pawned by her, and some valuable items included a set of jade necklaces given by Mrs. Mo, gold bracelets and gold earrings given to her by Mo Changlin and Meng Ruqing, a Jaeger-LeCoultre watch and diamond double flower ring given by Mo Daoyan, foreign brand bags, and a crystal handicraft panda ornament given by Mo Daoxing. They were all stored intact, and they would have to be returned later.
After picking and choosing, she found that nothing could be given to Chen Jueyao as an apology gift. The only thing she could give him was a handmade bag with a sunflower pattern and "Growing Towards the Sun" embroidered in gardenia yellow on the back. It was originally a New Year's gift she gave to herself, implying positivity and progress in the new year. However, things are unpredictable, and "Growing Towards the Sun" was going to be handed over to someone else, and the person to whom she had cursed thousands of times in her dreams.
After choosing a gift, she went to the closet to get a change of clothes and prepared to take a shower. She was undecided between a cream-colored sweater and a glacier-gray sweater. Suddenly, a hand reached over her right shoulder and selected a pomegranate-red wool sweater, folding it in front of her. A deep voice, accompanied by a warm breath, brushed her eardrums like a soft brush, "You are white, and bright red goes well with it."
Tong Yufei turned around in surprise: "You?"
Mo Daoyan leaned his tall body towards her, completely blocking out the light. He had taken a shower upstairs, his half-dried hair clearly visible, a few glistening beads of water dripping down his face, his Adam's apple rolling, his cold eyes, which couldn't tell whether he was happy or not, gleaming with careless laziness. "Who else could be in our wedding room?"
"That's not what I meant."
Mo Daoyan gently hooked his arm and pulled her into his embrace. Tong Yufei's expression suddenly changed, her face dancing between red and white. She tried to push him away, but her wrist was pinned against the counter. He suddenly pushed forward, his palm falling from her back to the small of her back, and said shockingly: "Let's consummate the marriage."
Tong Yufei was like being hit by a club, at a loss for words: "Why... why?"
Mo Daoyan pretended to be innocent, but his words made people think a lot: "Because they are spouses."
“…”
"You've already announced it to the world, and if I ignore it, wouldn't that be neglecting you? I'll just have to do my duty as a husband tonight."
Tong Yufei suddenly felt thrust into a dilemma. Affirming his statement would be confessing the emptiness she felt, the burning desire for her husband's comfort, the utter hunger. Disagreeing with him would be an indirect admission of no feelings for him. If a wife didn't have feelings for her husband, wouldn't that be deceiving her mother-in-law and harboring ulterior motives towards Mo Daoyan and their marriage? Between husband and wife, whoever holds the reins enjoys an easy life. Marriage was a shackle for Mo Daoyan, and he desperately wanted to escape, to be able to speak freely and without restraint. For Tong Yufei, it was a lifeline, and she was so cautious in every way she wanted to protect a sense of peace.
Torn between physical and psychological pain, she seized on a loophole in his words and half-heartedly said, "From now on, we'll be together day and night, and developing feelings will naturally come naturally. I'll just wait and force you to feel uneasy."
"I wouldn't call it forced. If you feel uneasy, just smile more. It will make the atmosphere better."
Mo Daoyan leaned in for a closer look. Her complexion was as white and translucent as a peeled egg, her cheeks flushed with a low-grade fever. Her clear eyes shone like a pool of peach blossoms, a small, childish wildflower that had sprouted from some unknown crevice, now blossoming with a captivating brilliance, nurtured by the years. Soulmates value the resonance of spirit and flesh; physical compatibility requires only a presentable body. By that standard, she exceeded the mark. How about him? He had some confidence in her.
His dark pupils burned like two fires. His hand moved from her waist to her chin, forcing her to look directly at him. His pinched, soft, jade-like cheeks turned red and white. Tong Yufei could feel his rapid heartbeat and the pent-up anger, but she was powerless to extinguish it. The fire grew stronger and stronger, with an irresistible sharpness, surging from his chest and spreading towards her. He lowered his head and kissed her lips, his hard teeth rubbing against her lips. It was more like a bite than a kiss.
She tried to escape by relying on her desire to survive, but she was unable to move.
In her chaotic consciousness, Mo Daoyan pried open her teeth and sucked until her lips and tongue became numb.
Mo Daoyan's first kiss began with a fleeting taste on their wedding night. His years abroad were spent immersed in the boundless sea of learning and racking his brains to earn tuition fees. The opposite sex wasn't a necessity, and his experience in sexual matters hadn't grown at all. But he was quick-witted and eager to learn, with a strong practical ability. Although a complete novice in every aspect, he acted like a seasoned playboy. This perfectly matched Tong Yufei's memory of him; she never once saw panic on his face or in his eyes. Even on their wedding day, when the normally teetotaler Zhao Weimin poured him glass after glass of baijiu, and his mother forced him to swear over and over again that he would never leave her... he accepted it all.
Today, he has become more mature and calmer than ever before. The general structure of the human body is no more complicated than a high-frequency circuit board. Since he can build a machine detection system, conquering the problem of the human body testing system is just around the corner.
After a brief kiss, his anger faded, his movements much gentler. He used jasmine-flavored toothpaste, like feeding her a mouthful of sweet jasmine tea. She was intoxicated by the orchid-like, musky aroma, her heart fluttering, unable to suppress her desire for his warm breath. She wanted to hold him tighter, to hide in his arms, but her remaining consciousness roared against his advances. She couldn't deceive herself, knowing he didn't love her. The more she lost control of her emotions, the more he looked down on her. He was being intimate with her to make her see the truth about herself, to give herself to someone so flatteringly, how unbearable it was. If she had known better, she would have retreated.
He must have been furious. He returned to China and planned to focus on his career, but she refused to leave him and kept saying lies over and over again without even saying hello. It seemed like she was dragging him down with her, like a frog in boiling water. Wasn't this the cycle of marriages arranged by parents and matchmakers for thousands of years?
In fact, the incident happened suddenly, and she could not predict that Meng Ruqing would use her as a scapegoat. If she had asked Mo Daoyan first, as smart as he was, he might have had a more clever way to cover it up. What she could predict was Mo Daoyan's kindness. He would let her talk nonsense and still cover for her. Even if he asked her to leave, he would not drive her away like a stray dog. For this kindness, she remained calm and defused his anger.
When Mo Daoyan's kiss moved from her lips to the crook of her neck, she took a deep breath and said, "Daoyan, I want to live with you, but I don't want to force you to abdicate. I'm afraid that mother will get suspicious. They've worked hard all year, so we have to celebrate the New Year well."
"Are you that important?"
"That's right, grandma. Habits become second nature, and it's hard to change people's habits. How can you bear to let her be upset?"
"You understand filial piety so well, why don't you just have a child and retire after that? She will still remember your kindness."
He pulled her towards the sofa bed. Since that was the position she'd mentioned, he would perform the ritual for her there. When they reached the sofa bed, he threw her over and leaned over, exploring her waist and abdomen, brushing every inch of her skin, applying the skill of debugging a machine to explore her body's reactions. Tong Yufei closed her eyes tightly, repeatedly consoling herself in her heart. As husband and wife, it was only natural for them to do things as husband and wife. Mo Daoyan was top-notch in everything, almost impeccable. Giving it to him was not a loss. He occupied her body, but didn't his body belong to her as well?
It's just a shell, everyone takes what they need.
To be snobbish, she is the one who has the advantage.
She originally thought that such comforting could reduce her resistance a little and arouse some anticipation for married life, but when Mo Daoyan used his knee to push open her legs that were subconsciously closed together, all her carefully constructed mental defenses collapsed in an instant.
The last time she came back from the hospital, she read the newlyweds' manual and knew what it was all about.
Her heartbeat quickened, threatening to burst out of her chest like a drum. "Can we do it another day?"
Mo Daoyan's cold back was shrouded in the dim light, and he teased her about the ambiguity in her words: "You're thinking about next time before we even did it this time. Do you want it that badly?"
She stammered shyly, "Birth control products... We don't have any at home."
The population propaganda department of the newspaper would distribute family planning products to married female employees on a regular basis and in fixed quantities, but Mo Daoyan had gone abroad, so it was useless for her to receive them, and it would only give people a chance to criticize her. As time went by, they stopped receiving them. Mo Daoyan was indifferent to her, and she probably wouldn't go to the family planning counter to get them. Because of her inappropriate remarks tonight, they were in the mood for intimacy, but they might break up tomorrow.
She said she wouldn't do it, but she didn't want to upset him, so she smiled at him coquettishly, like a loving wife coaxing an unsatisfied man: "When I get to work, I'll go get two boxes. I've taken safety precautions, and you can have as many as you want."
Mo Daoyan didn't like her smile like that. It was as fake as a plastic New Year picture. He stared at her intently, his gaze penetrating her heart. "How can you have a baby with birth control drugs?"
"I still have exams to take, so I can't get pregnant for now. Can I wait until the second half of the year?"
"Do you really want to be with me forever?"
"Yes, but you are supreme and noble. I can't hold you back and embarrass you, or make people question your aesthetic taste. I want to improve. Aren't you the one who wants to improve the most?"
"You're worrying too much. I don't rely on you to save my reputation, but there are some things that I absolutely need you to help me..."
His hints were almost explicit, and Tong Yufei had no reason to retreat. She kissed his forehead, eyes, and nose lightly... When she tentatively stretched out her tongue, trying to pry open his teeth like he had just done, she couldn't even break through his slightly pursed lips. Mo Daoyan lost her strength, and her whole body was as cold as ice. She felt like an exposed clown, showing off her charm to please him. Her fake enthusiasm was like snowflakes piled on the branches, shaking and falling, melting on the ground, and turning into a puddle of water.
Before she knew it, she was in tears.
There must be something sympathetic about even the most hateful person. Mo Daoyan had inadvertently become the "sympathetic" executioner. His rage had lost its support, and he sat up with a dull look on his face: "If you don't want the money or the person, why should you stay here? If you get a divorce, you won't have to endure all this by pretending to obey."
Her adoptive father said before his death that life is short and one must never belittle oneself, or else live like a cattail or duckweed, relying on others for survival. One must respect oneself, live like a human being, and be a useful member of society. Her adoptive mother said that everyone has a love of beauty and taught her needlework, knitting sweaters and accessories of various patterns for herself, but forbade her to knit for others, urging her to save her energy for learning skills that enrich her life, such as calligraphy, painting, swimming, and horseback riding...
She had thrown away all the teachings of her adoptive parents. She couldn't throw away the things she had begged for, otherwise all her efforts would be wasted.
She calmed down and said, "I will be a qualified wife."
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