Chapter 44 Chapter 44 Why are you so lustful? (Column 3150...
Lin Jianyuan's mind was working fast. He didn't want to lie to his roommate, nor did he want to expose his illness.
Otherwise, why do people say that he makes a living by being creative?
Lin Jianyuan answered almost immediately: "It's you."
My roommate asked in confusion, “Me?”
Lin Jianyuan said seriously: "Yes, it's you."
roommate:"."
Bowel sounds cease.
The roommate seemed puzzled, but Lin Jianyuan didn't wait for him to ask, continuing, "That's how I imagined you."
Roommate: “Huh?”
Lin Jianyuan touched his nose and said a little embarrassedly, "Actually, my ultimate fantasy about my wife is washing her underwear."
This is true.
Because Lin Jianyuan really hates washing underwear.
In fact, he not only hates washing underwear, he hates washing all clothes equally.
Because work is really tiring.
There was a washing machine in the rental house, but it was an old-fashioned drum type. Not only did the clothes get tangled and tangled, but it also had a large capacity and wasted a lot of water.
Therefore, Lin Jianyuan often collects clothes and washes them together for a few days.
But underwear is not very good, underwear needs to be changed every day.
No normal person would open the washing machine just for a pair of underwear (or a pair of socks). Even if Lin Jianyuan was a psychopath, he would not do that.
So hand wash only.
Lin Jianyuan usually takes his underwear to the bathroom and rubs it casually when taking a shower.
Even so, it still feels too troublesome.
Lin Jianyuan knew that he was just lazy, but then again, if class B wasn't so tiring, would he be unwilling to do something as trivial as washing his underwear?
For example, if he doesn't have to work overtime on weekends, he is actually happy to do some housework.
But the problem is that his class B often has to work overtime on weekends.
It's all work's fault anyway.
So he really didn't lie to his roommate.
Although he is embarrassed to admit it, the ultimate xp for his wife is for her to wash his underwear.
It's just so plain and unpretentious.
Lin Jianyuan didn't want to lie to his wife, but he also didn't want to expose the fact that he didn't even know what his wife looked like, so he had no choice but to resort to this last resort. In fact, this statement is quite far-fetched and very risky.
After all, the wife he imagined was thin, tall, and glowing white, but what if his wife was actually a strong, dark-skinned athlete?
That wouldn't make sense.
After listening to this, the roommate still said nothing, but his bowel sounds became active again.
Lin Jianyuan: “.”
Okay, okay, I don’t seem to be getting any angrier.
It seems that my wife is not a strong, dark-skinned athlete.
Lin Jianyuan quickly seized the opportunity and said, "But don't worry, I promise to change my underwear and socks every day from now on. I will also wash them when I take a shower, so that I can be clean before going to bed."
He recalled a joke he had recently seen online and added, "I never wear outer pants to bed."
My roommate loves cleanliness, and his wife keeps herself clean and smells good. He should pay attention to hygiene in the future and not let his wife dislike him.
Sure enough, after hearing this, the roommate's mouth corners curled up again.
"Okay. No clothes." My roommate said softly, "I like not wearing any clothes either."
Lin Jianyuan:?
Was it his imagination? Why did he feel like his wife's words had a deeper meaning?
Is that the deeper meaning he was thinking about?
Lin Jianyuan couldn't help but raise his eyebrows and teased, "Why are you so lewd?"
"Is this called lust?" My roommate said with a slight smile, "I don't understand."
"You're still pretending." Lin Jianyuan wanted to pinch his ears, but as everyone knows, the digestive system does not include ears.
So he had to settle for the next best thing and pinch his wife's throat.
My roommate is very ticklish and had to hide from him when he pinched her. Her slender and soft esophagus looked like a newborn pink snake.
Lin Jianyuan was playing around with his wife, and when he turned around and saw the time, he quickly said, "Okay, stop playing, it's time to go to work."
Lin Jianyuan put on his shoes, put Nienile and Xiao Shitou in his trouser pockets and went out to work.
While using the subway to skip, he couldn't help but sigh, "If only I wasn't the only one with a mental illness. Then my wife and I could share a time pause, even if it's just for five minutes in the morning. We could have a blast playing in bed."
Nie Nie Le: “Huh?”
ah? ? ?
My top-notch time manipulation ability was used by you as a play timer?!
The Nienile thief, who was shoved into the pocket and crushed with a smack, complained to Little Stone with tears in his eyes, "Is this right? Listen to me, is this human language? I'm a dignified A-level heretic..."
Little Stone said coldly: "It was just squashed by an ordinary human being."
Pinching music: “.”
Nie Nie Le: “You’re not?”
Little Stone: "I wasn't squeezed or flattened."
Nezha Le: "You were smashed into slag by the medicine jar."
Little Stone: "You were stepped on by a human and stuck to the bottom of the shoe, and you can't get it off even if you pick it off."
Nie Nie Le: "You were kicked open by humans and hit by missiles, bouncing around like a flea."
Little Stone: "...There's no point in talking any more. Let's fight!"
Nienilele: "Come on, come on, who's afraid of you, come and fight!!!"
Xiao Shitou and Nienile barked loudly across Lin Jianyuan's nose.
Before Wang Yin fell,
Baji.
Lin Jianyuan picked up the Nian Ni Le and moved it from his left trouser pocket to his right trouser pocket.
Nie Nie Le: “?”
Little Stone: “?”
Lin Jianyuan was in a good mood: "Fight! Fight!"
Pinching music: “.”
Little Stone: “.”
The two little toys fell silent, looking at each other, not daring to shout in Lin Jianyuan's mouth.
joke.
Is that an ordinary □□?
That is the □□ of a human being that was personally marked by the [Evil Domain]!
sk——
Lin Jianyuan's home.
In the bathroom, the digestive system looked at Lin Jianyuan's underwear hanging by the window with interest.
The underwear was half dry. It was a pair of pure cotton men's boxer briefs, gray.
The digestive system turned its head and saw laundry detergent on the sink.
With a twist of his bowels, he picked up the large bottle of bulk laundry detergent. It was heavy and substantial.
But He didn't know how to wash clothes.
It doesn't matter.
The digestive system took out its phone and skillfully typed a few words on it with its pancreas:
"How to wash underwear."
A lot of tutorials immediately popped up on Xiaohongshu.
How to wash underwear correctly
Is an underwear washing machine a waste of money?
"A nanny-level detailed tutorial on washing your girlfriend's underwear"
"Forward this to your boyfriend on the correct steps for washing your underwear"
The digestive system read all these posts carefully, and then He discovered a problem.
Washing underwear requires hands.
But He has no hands.
No problem.
Small matter.
The digestive system lowered its head to study its own body, found a suitable position, and grew a pair of hands.
Slender, fair, with distinct joints.
This is how He looks like according to Lin Jianyuan's white moonlight.
After all, He had never studied human hands carefully, but in Lin Jianyuan's dreams, those hands appeared many times, even in soft light, close-up shots.
...If Nienile were here at this moment, he would definitely not lament that he, a dignified A-level being treated as a sex toy by humans.
After all, even S-level,
They are all washing human underwear.
——ip.
When Lin Jianyuan entered the company, the first thing he did was to go to the Human Resources Department to cancel his leave.
He had previously only taken half a day off for outpatient visits, taking his outpatient medical records and the sick leave note from Dr. Cen to the HR department.
But this time, he was hospitalized for three days. Before being discharged, he asked Dr. Cen for all the information he might need, to avoid further complaints from the HR.
Then, to his surprise, the HR department still said that he was missing something.
"Disease diagnosis certificate?" Lin Jianyuan was confused. "Why do you need this? I've been to the outpatient clinic before, so don't I already have an outpatient record? I've also been prescribed medication and am taking it. How can I prove that I'm sick?"
"It's not to prove you're sick," said Yang Yu from the Personnel Department. "This is normal procedure. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to stamp your application if I didn't have the necessary documentation."
Lin Jianyuan was about to speak when his cell phone rang. It was Jiang Chen.
When Jiang Chen knew that he was back, he immediately assigned him a job. His tone sounded a little exasperated, as if Lin Jianyuan had been sick and hospitalized for two or three days, causing him a lot of trouble. Now that Lin Jianyuan had returned to work, he had to be responsible for this matter.
As expected of Jiang Chen, a phone call successfully destroyed Lin Jianyuan's mentality that he had finally adjusted, and he began to feel angry again.
"Wait a minute, let me get back. I'm in the personnel department right now." Lin Jianyuan suppressed his anger, hung up the phone, and turned to Yang Yu and said, "Is the only thing missing a medical diagnosis certificate? An electronic version will do."
Yang Yu: "We need both an electronic version and a paper version, and you need to get the hospital's stamp. Also, you need to bring your hospitalization invoice and expense list. Also, fill out your leave application and leave cancellation form here, making sure the time is correct. Sign, get your department leader's stamp, and scan the PDF file to upload. And send the paper version along at the end..."
"No, wait." Lin Jianyuan raised his hand to stop her. "I'm just asking for leave, not reimbursement. Why are you asking me for a hospital invoice?"
Yang Yu was also a little impatient: "That's the company's rule! If you have time to argue with me about this, you might as well prepare all the materials and send them over. I'm busy here too!"
After leaving the Personnel Department, Lin Jianyuan has successfully acquired the taste of the office, which is manifested in: a belly full of anger, a chest full of resentment, and confusion.
Lin Jianyuan decisively took out the Nienile and the small stone and asked, "What materials did she say she wanted?"
Nie Nie Le: “Huh?”
Little Stone: "I think they needed an electronic version and a paper version, and the hospital's stamp. I don't remember anything else."
Lin Jianyuan angrily said, "Aren't you two my multiple personalities? How come you can't even remember this? You're useless!"
Pinching Music & Little Stone: “???”
No, how did we become your multiple personalities?
And why should I help you remember multiple personalities?
The more Lin Jianyuan thought about it, the angrier he got. He could imagine how much Yang Yu would roll his eyes at him if he went back and asked again.
Damn, can’t you just say it nicely?
No, he just doesn't understand. He just comes to write a leave note or cancel his sick leave. Why do he have to submit so many useless documents?
Was Yang Yu really correct? The more he looked at the process, the more it looked like hospital bill reimbursement.
The key point is that he can't remember what Yang Yu said just now. He mumbled a lot of gibberish. If he wanted to turn around and confront him, he wouldn't know what to say.
Just when Lin Jianyuan was feeling depressed, a projection-like image suddenly appeared in front of him.
The person in the picture was Yang Yu, who was chattering and explaining the materials to him.
Lin Jianyuan:?
Lin Jianyuan looked around suspiciously. There was no projector, so where did this image come from?
wrong.
The more he looked at the picture, the more he felt something was wrong. Wasn't this his first-person perspective?
Thinking of this, Lin Jianyuan slapped his head and suddenly understood.
Okay, okay, I knew I was sick again.
I almost forgot that I'm a psychopath.
Although the condition seems to be getting worse, why is this mental illness getting better and better?
Lin Jianyuan stared intently at the first-person perspective projection in front of him. After playing it once, he still couldn't remember what materials he needed to prepare.
His diseased brain considerately replayed it for him twice more.
Now I finally figured it out.
"Isn't this still the reimbursement process?!" Lin Jianyuan became even more angry.
Forget it. I'll have to go to the hospital again anyway, so I might as well get all the materials ready at once. It'll save the staff from complaining.
Lin Jianyuan walked towards the office cursing.
In the pocket, the Squeezies and the plush angel eyeballs bumped into each other.
Nie Nie Le: "So you're not dead. I thought you were dead."
Angel Eyeball: “.”
Nienile teased, "Why are you also starting to work illegally like a coward?"
Angel Eyeball: “.”
Nienilele: "A dignified A-rank heretic has actually been reduced to a portable projector..."
Angel Eyeball: "..."
Nie Nie Le: "Do you like the big throat of the [Evil Domain]? Hmm? Talking? Do you want to be chewed by the big teeth of the Evil Domain again?"
Angel Eyeball: “…#”
"Hey, stop bullying him. We're all just wanderers here," Little Stone said slowly. "Since we've all been solidified by the digestive fluid, we can't cause any trouble. He even calls us seniors with his eyes wide open. We have to teach him the rules of working illegally for Lin Jianyuan. Otherwise, what if he gets into trouble with the Evil Realm again?"
Angel Eyeball: “…###”
He was about to explode, but when he heard the words "bad luck from touching the evil realm", he calmed down again.
"...Tell me." Angel Eyeball said in a deep voice.
Nezha: “What?”
Angel Eyeball: "Tell me, what kind of things will bring bad luck to the evil realm."
Nie Nie Le (in an exaggerated tone): "Ah? What did you call me? I didn't hear you clearly? What did you call me?"
Angel Eyeball: “…######”
Angel Eyeball gritted his teeth, took a deep breath, and said in a deep voice: "...Senior. This is my first day here and I'm naive. Can you tell me what I should pay attention to when working here?"
Nie Nie Le: "Hey hey hey hey~"
So cool!
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