31. The timing is wrong, I feel guilty, but I just want him...
The steel chair gleamed coldly, and the surrounding area was filled with the noisy footsteps of people coming and going. I could almost hear the wheels of a stretcher rubbing against the floor not far away, but I wasn't sure if it was just my imagination.
The patients' family members, men, women, young and old, a colorful mix, were all mingled together, making it difficult to see them clearly in the chaotic noise. Occasionally, a few white figures would break through this blurry coloration, standing out sharply, almost blindingly so.
The metal chair beneath me was no longer as cold as it had been when I first sat down.
Mu Jia didn't want to cry; it wasn't a melodramatic TV series.
I didn't dare to cry either, because I was afraid that in this kind of environment, it would make the other patients' families feel unlucky.
"Chu Chiyi, have you ever waited here? I have never."
In fact, she had been to the hospital's emergency room before.
During her first year in Mexico, she once drank with clients for six consecutive days in a week, until she suffered a stomach hemorrhage and was rushed to the emergency room by her colleagues overnight.
However, she was unconscious when she was admitted to the emergency room that time.
Instead of sitting in the family waiting area with a clear mind, as we are now.
Over the years, she has lived alone outside and has seen quite a bit of life.
While studying abroad, her bag and phone were stolen on the street, and she had to give a statement at a police station in the early hours of the morning; a shooting occurred in the city where she worked, only two blocks away from where she lived; when she was on a business trip to South America, she once went alone into a notorious red-light district, which was said to be a burial ground for corpses, in order to find a female colleague who had gotten separated from her...
But she never actually sat in that position.
It happened so suddenly, and there were no other family members around.
Her mother was lying inside...
She continued speaking, it was hard to tell whether she was talking to herself or to the people around her: "But my mother should have come, because my grandfather died of a heart attack."
The elderly man, who had always been in good health, collapsed very suddenly, and his condition seems to be similar to what it is now...
Before she could finish speaking, she was suddenly pulled into someone's arms.
She was surprised, but instead of struggling, she closed her eyes.
But when I closed my eyes, that somewhat piercing gaze from before appeared even more clearly in my mind's eye.
What was she doing before she fainted?
Have you experienced anything similar before? Do you have any underlying medical conditions?
Have you complained of dizziness, chest pain, or abdominal pain lately?
What is your history of medication use?
Of those questions, there were few that she could answer with confidence and certainty.
Then she saw the middle-aged male doctor's eyes, and for a moment it felt like she was back in elementary school math class, unable to answer the question, and unfortunately, she made eye contact with the teacher.
Yuan Mei did everything she could to isolate herself from all the suffering in the world, even the sudden death of her loved ones.
But what about her? What is she doing?
Just a few hours ago, she was trying every possible way to deceive her.
Perhaps it's all her fault. If she hadn't been so willful and had stayed home obediently, maybe she would have discovered the leak. That way, there wouldn't have been that embarrassing farce this morning, Yuan Mei wouldn't have been emotionally affected, and they wouldn't be here now...
"It's not your fault."
Suddenly, I heard someone say, "Don't be afraid."
Mu Jia was stunned for a moment, and in her daze, she almost doubted that she had spoken her innermost thoughts aloud.
The next second, she suddenly opened her mouth and bit the man's shoulder.
His body was like a good soundproof wall, and also like the most airtight shell.
Hard yet soft, cold yet warm.
She wanted to make sure no one could hear her crying.
How long has it been since she last cried like this?
Even when you really can't help it, you can always find a lot of reasons.
I watched a sad movie, listened to a melancholic song, had a heart-wrenching conversation with someone, and the pain of having a tooth pulled was excruciating…
Perhaps she just doesn't want others to know she's unhappy.
Therefore, she was reluctant to go home, preferring to chat with Grandma Chang downstairs from Chu Chiyi every day rather than go back to see Zhong Sufang.
It's just that it's easier to pretend to be happy in front of people you're not that familiar with.
But when it's with people you know very well, it's often easier to break down...
Just like being in front of him.
So, cry.
It doesn't matter if it's in his presence; he's seen almost all the embarrassing moments I've ever had since I was a child.
Then have a good cry.
Hidden inside, I had a good cry.
She didn't know how much time had passed, so long that Mu Jia was even a little tired from crying, when she suddenly heard Chu Chiyi ask her in her ear, "Do you know what your mother said to me when she first met me?"
"..."
Upon their first meeting, the beautiful woman walked over to him with a familiar smile and grabbed his arm, saying, "Handsome young man, you look just like one of my favorite boy band members! Can I take a picture with you, Auntie?"
For some reason, he couldn't refuse that time, faced with such an absurd situation.
Perhaps it's because those eyes, almost identical to hers, also hold stars.
Just like every time, he actually couldn't truly refuse someone.
Mu Jia's tears stopped abruptly, and she felt a mix of amusement and exasperation.
She straightened up from his embrace, wiped her face, and finally smiled through her red eyes: "My mom, my mom is like this sometimes..."
She suddenly remembered something: "Do you remember when I impulsively made you a mousse cake? But for some reason, it just wouldn't set. Later, my mom told me that the secret to setting it was to add gelatin, and that's how it finally worked."
As she spoke, the corners of her mouth couldn't help but curve into a smile.
Seeing Chu Chiyi smile, she said, "So someone like Auntie will be fine. Don't be afraid."
He raised his hand and gently touched her hair.
To outsiders, they appeared to be just an ordinary young couple, concerned for their family members inside.
But having no other options, they could only huddle together, like cats in winter, snuggling for warmth and comfort...
At 8 p.m., Mu Jia was persuaded by Mu Xiangming to leave the hospital.
Yuan Mei fainted due to menopausal syndrome, coupled with the stress and high blood pressure she experienced at the time.
"Go back. You've been with your mother for seven or eight hours since she woke up at noon, and you haven't even eaten. I'm here. There's no point in having so many people here." Mu Xiangming pushed her out of the ward.
The doctor prescribed sedatives, and Yuan Mei fell asleep again after taking them.
"Dad, I'll stay with Mom tonight."
"Really, it's not necessary, baby." Mu Xiangming shook his head with a helpless smile and ruffled her hair. "There's not enough room for so many people in the ward. Besides, if she wakes up tomorrow morning and sees you staying up all night with her, she'll feel sorry for you."
Mu Xiangming's "baby," a word she often used to call him when she was little, brought tears to her eyes for a moment.
Mu Jia turned her head away: "Okay, then I'll come back tomorrow morning to accompany Mom when she's discharged from the hospital."
The car stopped downstairs in the residential area.
Chu Chiyi suddenly handed her a package.
Mu Jia looked down and saw a bag of cooling patches.
"Put on a compress, otherwise your eyes will be swollen tomorrow."
"Okay." She reached out to open it, but after a couple of tries, she couldn't tear open the plastic packaging.
The next second, Mu Jia suddenly leaned in and kissed his lips.
He was stunned for a moment, then felt her moist, soft lips, her slightly rapid breathing, and the hand around his neck, her fingertips slightly cool.
Mu Jia first traced the shape of his lips inch by inch, and then opened her mouth to invite him to invade and entwine their lips and tongues.
After a few kisses, she felt Chu Chiyi supporting the back of her neck.
Whether Chu Chiyi pulled her or she did it on her own initiative, by the time she came to her senses, she was already sitting on his lap.
The kiss deepened, and Mu Jia felt the coldness in her fingertips gradually dissipate.
She suddenly freed one hand and reached for the glove compartment in front of the passenger seat.
We only used one box last time, so the rest should still be there.
I know the timing isn't right, and I feel really guilty, but suddenly I just really want him.
Like an uncontrollable thirst, it might be the kind of thirst that leads to desperate measures.
We shouldn't now.
But it doesn't matter, since they've never "should" do anything anyway.
Let's do it then, since she doesn't want to go home right now anyway.
My hand touched the handle, but suddenly someone pressed it down.
"What's wrong?" she asked, her breath coming in short gasps as she looked at him, interrupted.
She had clearly sensed the changes in his body long ago.
He said, "Wait... I have something to tell you."
"What?"
"Wait a minute." But she suddenly interrupted him.
The two of them fell silent at the same time. In the enclosed space, only their breathing, which had not yet fully calmed down, remained, and the vibration of Mu Jia's phone became very clear.
She was still on edge, fearing a call from Mu Xiangming or the hospital.
After a few words, Mu Jia hung up the phone and looked at Chu Chiyi apologetically, "I'm going out for a bit. You can go back first. Don't wait for me tonight."
After saying that, she put her phone in her bag and was about to open the car door when she suddenly remembered something and withdrew her hand. "By the way, what were you trying to say to me?"
"nothing."
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