36. Willingly exposing my most vulnerable parts to her.
After being excessively satisfied, Mu Jia closed her eyes wearily, not quite understanding what Chu Chiyi was talking about.
She slowly opened her eyes and saw that the water had also wet the lower half of his face, the shimmering water gently stinging her eyes.
The steam in the bathroom made his pupils, as he looked at her, appear even damp.
Then I remembered, no, it seems I did say that before, when I deliberately stabbed him.
They really hold grudges...
That night, Mu Jia had an unusually clear night without any dreams, and when she woke up, it was exactly seven o'clock in the morning.
I rubbed my eyes and saw that there was no one around me.
She threw back the covers and got out of bed, just as Chu Chiyi walked in. He was already dressed and holding a tie.
Seeing that she was awake, he walked over and handed her the tie he was holding. "Could you help me tie this?"
Mu Jia looked at him with some surprise, and after a couple of seconds, she still took it without understanding why.
Her technique was clumsy; on the second stroke, her cool knuckles brushed against his Adam's apple. "Uh... I'm sorry..."
"It's nothing." He shook his head, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Mu Jia then realized that at this moment, the other person was facing her directly, willingly exposing their most vulnerable part to her. Letting her breath, body temperature, heartbeat, even the words she could and couldn't say, all tied into a knot…
Realizing this, her hand suddenly hesitated for a moment again.
The silk ribbon was threaded through a loop of the same material, and with a gentle pull, the final touch was complete.
She breathed a sigh of relief and heard a soft "Thank you" from above her.
Yuan Mei had been on leave for the past few days, so Mu Jia went home to keep her company as usual.
After lunch and cleaning up the dishes, the two sat in the living room chatting. A podcast was playing on the tablet, and a few sentences drifted into their ears as background noise. They could roughly make out that they were discussing a topic related to the philosophy of life.
Yuan Mei glanced at her, but didn't seem overly surprised by her somewhat abrupt question. She thought for a moment and said, "Try to be honest and live the day well."
"Honest?" Mu Jia seemed a little surprised. "To whom?"
“For anyone you think is worthy,” Yuan Mei turned down the podcast volume, “or for yourself too.”
That evening, she had dinner at home with her parents.
Halfway through the meal, she received a WeChat message from Chu Chiyi, asking if she was going home that night.
"Let's go back."
"Okay." The other end replied quickly, "Then I'll wait for you, there's something I want to tell you."
Half an hour later, there was a knock on the door.
It was about time, so Chu Chiyi went to open the door.
The door opened, revealing a face that hadn't been seen in a long time.
He hesitated for a moment, then spoke to Song Xiuyu, "Mom."
Mu Jia went upstairs and walked to the platform at the corner between the fourth and fifth floors, but her steps were suddenly stopped by the sound of arguing upstairs.
She craned her neck to look up, and for a moment, she almost suspected that time and space had been disrupted and that time had reversed.
Ten years ago, in the same place, with the same people and the same posture, even the position where she happened to be "peeping" back then was the same.
"What do you mean by hanging out with that woman Pei Lan? Are you like your father? Or do you want her to be your mother?"
"What have you been learning these past few years? Is that kind of shady place a place for you? You've been so reckless, not learning anything good at all!"
"Where's the piano? Where's the piano at home? I'm not in this house anymore, and you hate me so much that you can't even tolerate a piano?"
...
Mu Jia hid in the shadows of the stairwell, listening to the woman's rapid-fire chatter, but never heard any rebuttal from the boy opposite her.
"Shut up!" he suddenly shouted, his voice cold and menacing, cutting off the woman's words like a knife.
This startled Mu Jia.
"Smack!"
The next second, a crisp slap rang out, making the person eavesdropping downstairs shudder once again.
"You've really become a bastard?! How dare you talk to me like that!"
The woman's hard, sharp diamond grazed her cheek, and the man's gaze followed, finally managing a slight smile as he asked in a calm tone, "Mom, didn't you remarry? So why did you come back?"
"Why can't I come back? No matter what, you're still my son!"
"Having not seen him for eight years, will I be lucky enough to receive an email from my son every year?"
"..." The woman's voice seemed to pause for a moment, then her anger flared up even more, "If I didn't come back, how would I know you were such a scoundrel? Do you think I wouldn't even know you were dead after a while?"
"Then you might as well just consider me dead."
...
Mu Jia snapped out of her reverie and, from half a flight of stairs away, heard the woman ask, "What's going on with this door? Chu Chiyi, is this how you've been living all these years? Next time I come back, will I see you just like your father did back then, dying with your eyes open?"
What?! Mu Jia's eyes widened. His father... dead...
What's the meaning?
But she knew what Chu Chiyi's mother meant by "door".
The red paint stains on the door had faded considerably after washing, except for the adjacent whitewashed wall, where the remaining marks were still quite noticeable.
That happened a few weeks ago. Chu Chiyi had a commercial case, which he won in court. The defendant was furious and couldn't help but retaliate.
They called the police, and there was surveillance footage at the entrance. Seeing that they couldn't deny it, the other party accepted the administrative penalty and apologized.
She didn't understand this either. He used to work for a listed company, so how could he become so despicable after losing the lawsuit? He even had the nerve to use such low-class thuggish behavior.
Chu Chiyi shook his head and smiled, as if he understood perfectly, "When people are down on their luck and have nowhere to turn, it is indeed easy for them to get stuck in a rut."
The woman upstairs continued her tirade, and the content became increasingly offensive.
Mu Jia's fingers unconsciously dug into her palm.
Speak up, Chu Chiyi! Aren't you a lawyer? Don't you always manage to leave me speechless? Why are you mute now?
But there was still no male voice coming from above.
She didn't know how much time had passed, but when Mu Jia came to her senses, she found herself already halfway up the stairs, standing next to Chu Chiyi.
Then, she heard herself say to Song Xiuyu, “Auntie, your perception may be a little off. He is now successful in his career, has a car and a house, has friends, has things he likes, and has his own life. He is living a very good life now.”
Her appearance was indeed too sudden. The woman opposite her looked at her in surprise, "You, you are..."
“It’s not important,” she shook her head, and as she turned, her gaze happened to fall on Song Xiuyu’s right hand.
“Auntie, I noticed you’re not wearing a ring anymore.” The next second, she suddenly took Chu Chiyi’s hand, which was hanging by his side, and said naturally, “But he’s different. The girl who liked him ten years ago still likes him now.”
After eight o'clock, there were fewer and fewer pedestrians in the community.
Even the streetlights shone dimly and listlessly, illuminating the footsteps and heads of passersby.
Chu Chiyi's expression remained unchanged. "That happened a long time ago."
How long?
"More than ten years ago, I think."
Mu Jia was shocked again. Her father had been gone for so long? Before or after they met? What was the reason? How come she never knew?
After a few seconds, I found it a little funny.
Yes, what kind of relationship do they have? He has never included her in his life, so what right does she have to demand to know these things?
She chuckled and changed the subject to something lighter. "Aren't you a top lawyer? You're usually quite sharp-tongued with me, aren't you? How come you were completely silent just now? What? Is it because she's your mother? Is there some kind of bloodline advantage?"
"because of you."
"What?"
He laughed: "Because you stood up for me."
"..."
Seeing that he wasn't going to be serious, the conversation was going nowhere. Mu Jia composed herself and decided to get straight to the point: "Chu Chiyi, there's something I need to tell you."
"What is it?" he asked, looking at her. "Coincidentally, I also have something to tell you."
"Okay." She nodded. "Why don't you go first?"
"Alright."
He looked at her, about to speak, but for some reason, looking at her face, a sentence she had just said suddenly flashed through his mind.
She just said, "Auntie, you don't wear a ring anymore."
What a coincidence!
Should we praise her for being so amazing? She always manages to appear out of nowhere, precisely at the right moment in his life, in the very instant he least wants her to be there.
The words that were about to come out suddenly caught in my throat.
He lowered his head slightly, his gaze sweeping over his tie, a dark blue tie he hadn't taken off since eight in the morning.
For twelve hours, every time I lowered my eyes slightly, I seemed to see again the fluffy hair that was exposed under my eyes when I looked down, the way she tied the tie, and finally pulled it out to smooth it out, and then subconsciously looked up at me with her eyes after she finished tying it...
And of course, there's that one time when your finger accidentally taps lightly on your bone.
"Chu Chiyi? What's wrong?" He suddenly heard Mu Jia calling him.
He snapped back to reality: "I..."
Do I need to say anything more?
What I need to say.
Even so, he still had to say it, because those words had been ruminating in his mind for far too many years.
Turning over and over, growing with time, it gradually took root and grew into his flesh and bones.
The phrase "I like you" originally had four characters, but as many days have passed and years have gone by, time has polished and refined it, gradually condensing it into three more profound and intense characters.
No matter how many words it contains, it's a very simple sentence.
But he simply didn't dare to say it.
Was he afraid that if he told her, she would abandon him, or was it more due to his own reasons?
Is this considered the "abandoned cat effect"?
It's hard to say.
All he knew was that whenever there was a sign that he was about to reveal his feelings and be noticed by her, he could only hide them even more deeply.
Like a cat playing hide-and-seek with its owner, you don't know whether to hope it gets found soon or hope it never does.
When they argue, she scolds him, slaps him and then gives him a sweet treat, playing hard to get. You really know how to manipulate people's hearts like fishing.
Actually, it wasn't about skillfully controlling the flow of love, but rather the hesitant, lingering marks left behind when one wants to love but dares not, taking one step forward and three steps back.
But now, after hiding for so long, he still intends to come out on his own.
Even if she gives up tomorrow, even if it's only for three minutes, it's still much better than watching her finally give up the search or completely move on to someone else.
But things that have been deeply ingrained in one's bones and blood are not easy to unearth unexpectedly.
Then let her speak first, and give him a few minutes, or even a few seconds, to allow for a buffer period.
After all, he had been hesitating for many years, so a little more time wouldn't make a difference.
"Never mind, you go first."
“Fine,” Mu Jia looked at him and said firmly, “Chu Chiyi, let’s end this here.”
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