Her story begins more than ten years ago.
At that time, she was still a happy girl. Although he lived in the countryside, he only went to high school. But she is shy, gentle, kind and hardworking. By 2006, their town was like a ghost town; all the men and many women had gone out to work. After a year, you would hear that someone in the village had returned from work and built a new house. There are also often young ladies from some family wearing heavy makeup, wearing high heels and carrying a "LU" bag.
Zhao Sulan didn't envy them at all. Her life is filled with many things and she has a lot of work to do. During the day, she has to cultivate the two acres of land at home and take care of her paralyzed mother in bed. She would seize every spare moment to make some handicrafts and sell them at the market. Under her management, the Zhao family lived a simple but stable life.
Later, the man came.
She is tall, beautiful, gentle, and humorous. She wears shirts and casual pants that no man in the village would wear, and drives a small car. In the eyes of village girls like Zhao Sulan, he is simply a man of superior taste and full of charm.
He ignored the advances of other women and was only kind to Zhao Sulan. He drove her for a ride along the riverbank, he followed her to pick mulberries in the spring, and he kissed and touched her in the sorghum field that was as tall as a person. Zhao Sulan didn't think he was unruly at all. In the countryside, if a man doesn't have some courage, can he still be considered a man?
The only thing that made Zhao Sulan a little dissatisfied was that he did not allow her to tell anyone in the village about their relationship. His explanation was that there were so many women in the village who were attracted to him, and he didn't want to let others know before they got married, for fear of causing trouble for her.
Although Zhao Sulan felt that this reason was a bit far-fetched. But at that time, she was completely blinded by love, so how could she care too much?
The man took her virginity in the sorghum field. He tossed and turned for a whole night, and used many different tricks. He especially liked to make Zhao Sulan kneel on the ground like an animal. Finally, the two of them lay in the sorghum leaves, and he touched her smooth and tender belly, saying with lingering satisfaction: "Your butt is much better than many women's."
Zhao Sulan felt very uncomfortable. What did “many women” mean? Did he have sex with many women?
He quickly said, "Hey, I'm just using an analogy, referring to what you see on TV. Don't let your imagination run wild."
The ominous feeling probably started from that time. But a woman like Zhao Sulan had already given her virginity to him, just like an arrow shot without retraction. No matter how great the sense of crisis is, it cannot overcome the desire for a happy future.
…
When Zhao Sulan woke up, she found herself lying in a strange room. The window was equipped with iron bars, and the door would not open when pushed; one could only hear the "clang" of the lock. Outside was a small farmyard with a few rooms, but no one was there. Judging from the decorations, it is completely different from where she lives. Occasionally she heard people whispering outside the yard, and their accent was completely different from hers.
Zhao Sulan was frightened and cried desperately for help. What about him? Didn’t the two of them travel together by train? Why do the sky and the earth change color when you wake up from sleep?
She cried for a whole day and night, but no one paid any attention to her. At three o'clock in the morning, she woke up in a daze and heard people talking outside the window.
"A chick like this is very stubborn. She needs to be locked up for a few days before she will marry you obediently." It was exactly "his" voice!
Another hoarse voice replied with a smile: "Yes, yes."
Zhao Sulan felt like the sky was about to fall down. She called out his name, screamed, cursed. The answer she got was silence. She felt lost and helpless. If she shouted so loudly, people within hundreds of meters would probably hear her. She shouted that she was kidnapped, but why no one showed up to help her.
Could it be that this family lives in the wilderness?
Later I learned that they did not live in the wilderness, but in the middle of the village, surrounded by silent farmhouses.
When "he" left, he came and said a few words to Zhao Sulan.
He said, "Sulan, be honest and you will suffer less."
At that time, Zhao Sulan was lying on the bed, and it seemed that all the tears in her life had been exhausted. She suddenly smiled and said, "Where are you going? Don't you care about me anymore?"
He was also quiet for a while, then smiled: "I'll go find the next one."
He went to find the next one.
Zhao Sulan looked up at the only small window in the room and felt helpless seeing how dark the sky was. So this is life.
…
Sin begets sin, and we all forget the way home.
Later, it became like every trafficking story in the newspaper that has been told so many times that we have become numb to it. Zhao Sulan was being taken advantage of by that man who was in his forties, had some money, had a lame leg, but had a very bad temper. She gave birth to a son for him, but was still beaten every few days. Sometimes they were beaten so badly that their faces were bruised and their eyes couldn’t see. Zhao Sulan's heart also became confused in the torture day by day and year by year. It seemed like she didn't care about anything in this world anymore.
Only my son. That cute and clingy son is everything to her. Looking at him, she could forget all the pain. But that damn guy even beat his own son. Once, his son was thrown to the ground by him and he cried loudly, saying that his bones were almost broken. That night, Zhao Sulan almost fought with her husband, but she was tied up in the woodshed, whipped all night, and raped several times.
As the child grew older, the people in this "family" finally relaxed their vigilance towards Zhao Sulan. Zhao Sulan also seemed to have returned to her previous lifestyle, doing farm work every day like a numb machine. Later, the tourism industry developed in the nearby town, and the Zhao family was facing demolition and received a lot of money. So the whole family moved to the city. Zhao Sulan stopped growing vegetables. She hired two people at home and started selling vegetables.
In the meantime, she escaped back to her hometown once. But several years passed, and when she went back, she found that everything had changed. The village and people she was familiar with had changed. Her house was bulldozed into a vacant lot. Finally, she met an acquaintance who told her that after she "eloped" with the man, her mother collapsed and crawled around the village, looking for her everywhere. A few days later, she was found dead in a corner of the village, and her body was smelly.
The man looked at her nice clothes and asked, "Where have you been? You look like you're doing well."
Zhao Sulan smiled and replied, "Yes... yes, that's right."
She walked to the door of the local police station, but received an urgent call.
It’s my husband.
For the first time, the husband's tone was a little panicked: "Come back soon. The child..."
Zhao Sulan ran back to the Zhao family like crazy.
Waiting for her was a small corpse. Because she escaped, the Zhao family looked for her everywhere. Her husband had no patience at all. He got angry when he saw the child, so he beat the child and left him at home. The child was left unattended and cried for his mother, and fell into the pond nearby.
Zhao Sulan burst into tears. What awaited her was a furious beating from her husband.
After that day, she never cried again. She never thought of calling the police again. After finishing her farm work every day, she sat in the house, looking up at the sky above her head, and seemed to see the pale faces of many people.
Hers, mother's, child's. And there were many poor and difficult lives she had seen in her life.
This is Zhao Sulan, Zhao Sulan who has nowhere else to go. In this land, perhaps not many.
But all the Zhao Sulans are in corners that we ordinary people cannot see. We eat, drink, play, quarrel, and seek our own sense of existence. We strive and compete. We believe that God rewards hard work and we believe that no pain no gain. We dance with this utilitarian and sincere world.
But Zhao Sulan and others are there, right there. Without money, without access to the new world, there is no hope or possibility of escaping from life. It was like there was a huge dividing chasm, separating them on one side and us on this side.
Any sympathy? Of course we sympathize with them.
But there are some sufferings in this world that we cannot see even if we want to.
…
It was a clear morning with birds singing, and Zhao Sulan was standing at the door of a house. This is a famous small boss in the local area. It is said that he did some shameful things many years ago and made a lot of money before returning to his hometown to settle down.
That day, his helper was not at home, so the master opened the door himself.
The sun was very bright that day, and the wind whispered to Zhao Sulan through the treetops: "It's him, it's him..."
Zhao Sulan never expected that she would still see this face more than ten years later. And it turned out that he lived so close to her. The man has taken such good care of himself that even though he has gained some weight and has more wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, he still looks as handsome and charming as he was in his early years.
She stared at him blankly with wide eyes, but he could no longer recognize her. The corners of his eyebrows and eyes still showed the kind of provocation that a restless man shows towards women. When picking vegetables, he would touch her hands intentionally or unintentionally. It turns out that men are all the same filthy regardless of age.
When she went to his house for the third time to deliver food, he pulled her in and said, "I have some delicious pastries at home. BJ brought them. Do you want to try some?"
She followed in confusedly. Ever since she reunited with him, she had been carrying a knife in her waistband.
…
She returned home in the middle of the night with blood on her hands. The husband drank again and lay under the eaves. He didn't even look at her, but cursed in a low voice: "Where have you been again? Damn it, come here, you killed my son, give me another one. Come here! Take off your pants."
At that time, their elderly mother-in-law and father-in-law had passed away, and they were the only two living in the huge house. Zhao Sulan looked at the confused appearance of the beast, then looked at the knife in her hand, and suddenly understood.
It turns out that the answer she wanted in this life has been in her hands all along.
She buried her husband in the backyard, close to where the child drowned.
But Zhao Sulan never expected that when she went out a few days later, she would see "him" again, another "him". It was another family, looking familiar. "He" was leaning against the door, smiling maliciously at the famous "vegetable selling beauty" in the town.
…
When the knife fell again, at a certain moment, Zhao Sulan suddenly remembered something——
In fact, she couldn't quite remember what "he" looked like.
…
Bright lights and silent interrogation room. Zhao Sulan sat opposite Lao Ding, and she looked particularly calm. Sometimes, there would even be a gentle, trance-like smile. It was as if she was just the simple woman in Han Tuo's memory, who came silently carrying vegetables every day.
He stopped looking at her, turned around, leaned against the wall, lit a cigarette and smoked it slowly. The detective Xiao Tan beside him seemed to be infected by his emotions. He also lit a cigarette and smoked it in a serious manner. Then he sighed and said, "It turns out that such a cruel criminal is just a pitiful person. It is really pitiful for a woman to commit a crime, especially such an honest woman. If she hadn't been forced into a desperate situation, ah..."
The unintentional words hit the nail on the head with regard to Han Tuo's concerns. He looked at Xiao Tan with a very cold expression, put out his cigarette, turned around and left. Xiao Tan was left alone, completely confused.
When we returned to the inn, it had just rained a little. The courtyard was as quiet as before, and a few guests smiled politely at the handsome boss. Han Tuo looked at all this and felt as if he was in another world.
When Xiaomei saw him coming back, she immediately went out to greet him carefully.
Han Tuo looked upstairs, and Xiaomei immediately said, "She has been in the room the whole time and has not come out."
Han Tuo nodded: "Watch the store, don't go upstairs."
Xiaomei hesitated to speak: "Boss, what exactly..." In the end, she didn't ask. Once the boss gets serious, everyone is afraid of him, including her. So this morning when the boss brought Luo Xiao back, locked him in his room, and locked the door, Xiaomei knew that something was wrong and something was going to happen.
——
She just sat by the window without moving. Same as when he left for the police station.
There was even this morning's dew and tender grass on the ends of her hair and her clothes. Han Tuo could even see the kiss marks on her neck left by him when he went crazy last night.
When he opened the door, she just looked at him quietly. There was no hatred or fear in his eyes. There is only almost empty waiting.
Han Tuo sat down opposite her, lowered his head, and placed his hands on his knees.
"What's your original name?" he suddenly asked.
Luo Xiao replied: "Qin En. Qin in Sanqin, En in kindness."
The soft voice almost brought tears to Han Tuo's eyes. Qin En, Qin En, what a gentle name. If you keep it in your heart, it will be unforgettable.
"Well, okay." Han Tuo smiled and said, "Let's talk about what happened next."
Luo Xiao looked at him with wide eyes.
Han Tuo took a deep breath and his expression became stern. At this moment, he seemed no longer the extremely gentle man, but the ruthless criminal policeman she had met.
He said, "I forgot one thing. I am no longer a criminal policeman. I cannot and should not treat this matter as a criminal police catching a thief. If you did not love me, if you were not my girlfriend, I would not have discovered this matter and I would not have been able to catch you."
Luo Xiao stared at him blankly, not knowing what he meant.
Han Tuo felt a dull pain in his heart. Seeing her confused look, he wanted to hold her in his arms, but his hands and feet seemed to be nailed to the spot. The colder he felt inside, the more unbridled the smile on his face became. He could no longer find the answer to where his life would go from now on.
He continued, "I'm not only a retired criminal police officer. I'm also your boyfriend and your lover. Even if it's just for this summer."
Luo Xiao turned her face away, trying hard not to let her tears fall.
"So I can't just arrest you like this," he said. "That would be unkind and unjust. Would I still be a man if I did that?"
"You don't have to..." Luo Xiao started, but was interrupted by him: "So Luo Xiao, you run. Starting today, I will ask you to run for three days. The farther the better. You wouldn't have noticed it anyway."
You would have always been on your own path. If you hadn't met me.
"In three days, I will set out to catch you." His tears slowly overflowed, "I will take responsibility for this matter. I will go and find the fugitive I let go myself. We will leave it to God. If I can catch you, you will go to jail and pay for your crime. If I can't catch you, you will leave. Go far away, and we will pretend that we have never met in this life. Live the rest of your life separately... Live the rest of your life well."
Luo Xiao covered her mouth with her hand to prevent herself from crying out loud. So much so that I didn't even notice when he left.
——
Another day has passed and the sky is just beginning to brighten.
Han Tuo had stayed up for several nights in a row and slept soundly last night. When I woke up, I felt a sore throat. It turned out that I was a little sick.
He pushed open the door and saw Xiaomei, who usually just waited for food, diligently preparing breakfast in the kitchen. And when he looked up, he saw that the window was half open and the branches outside the window were swaying gently.
"When did Luo Xiao leave?" he asked in a hoarse voice.
Xiaomei looked at him in confusion: "Luo Xiao...she didn't leave. I was cleaning upstairs just now and saw her still in the room. I don't know what she was thinking about, she just sat there."
Han Tuo was startled and looked up again. He didn't even hear clearly Xiaomei's nagging at them to stop quarreling.
This day, from sunrise to sunset. Then a full moon appeared and shone brightly on the earth. Han Tuo sat on the porch, in the shadow, with a full cigarette holder beside him.
The next day, the person still didn't come down. Still in the room, Xiaomei said, he was still sitting there feeling lonely.
When Han Tuo went to wash his face before going to bed at three o'clock in the morning, he saw himself in the mirror. He had grown dark stubble and looked sinister and miserable.
On the third day, she was still there.
At night, Han Tuo sat in the courtyard. All the guests of the inn were driven out by him early this morning, even Xiaomei was sent back home. He was the only one left, sitting there. Looking up, you can see the lonely lamp in front of her window.
I finally understood that, in this big world, there are only the two of us.
I finally understand that it was a fleeting encounter, a mixture of love and hate, but you just had the ability to engrave it into my life.
Early morning of the fourth day. Han Tuo shaved his beard and changed into clean clothes. When he pulled out a pair of handcuffs from the bottom of the box, he felt a sharp pain in his eyes.
Then go upstairs and push the door open.
The house was quiet, and all her luggage was gone. The window was open, and a bird was perched on a branch, staring at him blankly.
Only the shadow of sunlight was reflected under his feet.
She left.
At some point on the third night, without disturbing him, without any sound or word.
——
Han Tuo handed the inn over to Xiaomei: "I will be away for a long time, maybe a year, maybe three years. You take good care of the inn. Remember not to water the flowers too much, don't kill them. Upstairs... that room, don't let anyone stay there. Even if it's full during the peak season and the price goes up, you are not allowed to move."
Xiaomei was about to cry: "Brother, where are you going? Why are you making arrangements for your funeral? Sister Luo Xiao is missing too! What happened to you guys?!"
Han Tuo knocked her head in annoyance and said, "You are the one who just arranged the funeral arrangements." He paused and said, "I'll go find her."
Xiaomei: "Oh..."
Han Tuo smiled again, but Xiaomei felt that the smile was like crying, so lonely and sad.
"Can you find it?" She suddenly grabbed his arm.
Han Tuo was silent for a while, then answered, "It's better if I can't find it."
——
Not long after Han Tuo walked out of the inn, and even before he got on the bus to his distant destination, his cell phone rang.
It was Lao Ding who called.
He picked up the phone and said nothing. Old Ding was silent for a while, then suddenly asked, "Do you know about Qin En's case?"
Han Tuo paused for a moment and replied, "I don't know the inside story. I haven't had time to find out yet."
Lao Ding was silent for a while, then said, "She is with me now. She came to me early this morning to turn herself in. I want to tell you something."
Han Tuo hung up the phone, raised his head and looked at the blue and silent sky. The sky was cloudless, with only him standing below. He has packed his bags and prepared for a life of wandering for her. But now, he doesn't have to go anywhere.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
