Extra 12 Regret
The funeral ceremony of Emperor Xiao Yuluan was extremely solemn and honorable.
Emperor Xiao Ji and Empress Qing Wu, dressed in mourning, personally kept vigil in Minghua Hall. Fifteen-year-old Crown Princess Xiao Yi, clad in mourning, knelt beside her parents, her small back straight, tears in her eyes, yet she struggled to maintain the dignity of a crown prince. Imperial princes, civil and military officials, arrayed by rank, took turns mourning day and night, their cries of grief unceasing.
During the days leading up to the funeral, the rain continued incessantly, as if heaven and earth were mourning together. The heavy coffin was slowly carried out of the palace gates, and Xiao Ji Qingwu personally carried it forward, each step weighing heavily like a mountain. Qingwu was already overwhelmed with grief, but she couldn't miss her grandmother's final journey.
All officials, dressed in plain clothes, followed on foot. The long funeral procession silently wound through the streets of the capital, its flags obscuring the sun and mournful music echoing softly. Even more moving was the fact that both sides of the street were already filled with people kneeling in spontaneous farewell.
People sobbed softly, burned incense and offered wine, and the air was filled with the scent of incense and sadness.
This cry of grief from the people can better demonstrate the popular support that this empress holds than any solemn ceremony.
Among all the officials, Zhou Yun'an ranks at the front, and now he is the Minister of Works.
Time flies, and the brow of the once high-spirited young man is finally marked by the wrinkles of time. However, even more shocking than the deepening wrinkles are his empty, dull eyes, as if all the spirit and light have been completely drained away with the departure of that person.
Zhou Yun'an numbly moved his feet, one deep, one shallow, walking along the empty palace path. Each step felt like stepping on soft clouds, or like falling into a bottomless void. His heart felt empty, leaving only a dull, helpless feeling of bewilderment.
He walked for an unknown amount of time, perhaps already far away from the bustling mourning hall. The surroundings were so quiet that only his footsteps and the whistling wind could be heard. He suddenly stopped, as if he could no longer bear the huge weight of "loss" that was piling up on his chest, and his shoulders began to tremble uncontrollably.
Then, without warning, scalding tears burst forth, blurring his vision. He no longer held back, letting out a sob like a wounded animal, which eventually morphed into an uncontrollable, heart-wrenching cry. He hunched his back, as if trying to pour out the complex emotions he'd been accumulating for over a decade into this deserted corner.
More than a decade passed by like a long scroll in his mind. He clearly remembered his original self, a man with a clear goal and ambition—to get close to the supreme empress and, with her favor, to climb the peak of power more quickly.
But when did that strong, almost utilitarian ambition begin to disappear and fade away little by little without anyone noticing?
Was it when she looked at him with a smile using those eyes that were insightful yet gentle?
Was it when she patiently taught him, a newcomer to the officialdom and still inexperienced, how to balance the pros and cons and how to behave in society?
Or was it that she had already seen through his impure thoughts, but chose to be tolerant and guide him without giving him any blame?
He thought he was carefully weaving a game of clinging, but he never imagined that in the day-to-day companionship and teachings, he had already been deeply involved in it, and the complex emotions of being a king, a teacher, and a friend were engraved in his bones and blood.
Later, he realized his feelings. He approached the empress with expectation and admiration, but he missed her. The empress no longer had any interest in love. He also did what he wanted at the beginning - becoming a close minister of the empress, but it had nothing to do with her body.
He got on the dragon bed and slept on the same bed with the empress, but Xiao Yuluan had never really visited him in the past ten years. Especially after Marquis Xue passed away, their relationship became even more pure.
Thirty-year-old Zhou Yunan was extremely satisfied, but forty-year-old Zhou Yunan was often sad and unable to sleep because of this.
The 48-year-old Zhou Yun'an felt even more regretful. He was a close minister of the empress known to everyone in the court and the country, but he was only a "close minister". Grand Tutor Shen, Lord Xue and others had real relationships with the emperor, and were buried in the imperial mausoleum after their death. That was a favor announced to the world and could be regarded as a real status. What about himself?
Zhou Yunan felt that he would not live for many more years. Where would he be buried after his death?
Why can’t we also arrange his funeral?
*
Xi Qingtong lived in the Xi family in a daze for many years. The years flowed through the gaps between her fingertips like white sand. She became more and more confused. She didn't know why until she heard the news of Mrs. Zheng's death.
Mrs. Zheng died when she was just fifty years old. Before she died, she talked nonsense and kept saying that someone was trying to harm her.
People said that Mrs. Zheng died of hysteria, and later some people said that the old lady of the Zheng family also died in this way. At first, Xi Qingtong didn't realize what this meant until she experienced that feeling herself later.
She just felt that she was becoming more and more unhappy. She saw the baby more and more often, and sometimes she even saw Prince An, who had been dead for who knows how many years.
Xi Qingtong felt like she was going crazy, but she told herself not to go crazy. There was always something in her heart that kept her hanging, allowing her to maintain the last bit of sanity.
Finally, that day came. The maid in the courtyard looked at the crazy lady of the Xi family with fear, but still dutifully told her what she should pay attention to when she was sober.
"The Lord said that the eldest daughter will be canonized as the Crown Princess, and the next emperor of Dayu will be a woman..."
After saying this, the little maid couldn't help but smile and murmured to herself, "Although I didn't catch up with the good times, my sister did. Dad finally agreed to let my sister go to the Institute of Technology..."
In a place she didn't notice, Xi Qingtong's distracted eyes became focused. She stared at the sky for a long time, and suddenly laughed out loud, "Great... Really great..." Laughing, she stood up and walked into the house.
That night, the crazy woman of the Xi family was found dead in the house, having committed suicide with a golden hairpin.
The hairpin she used was the same one made for the concubine back then.
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