Chapter 38
When walking among the endless stream of people, Lin Wan always had the feeling that he had become a drop of water mixed into the river.
Everyone is rushing forward desperately, running forward either actively or passively.
You can't stop now, or you will be completely eliminated.
This feeling of tension always reminds Lin Wan of her unbearable senior year of high school.
Lin Wan blinked, unwilling to recall any more memories. It was a time like purgatory.
She completed nearly a week of language classes and finally washed away the inexplicable narcissism that had always shrouded her.
Lin Wan completely relaxed and began to work on improving his real life.
She always thought she was outstanding, with independent thinking and strong execution ability.
She has experienced many difficulties, but she has always been able to overcome them on her own and use difficulties as stepping stones to move forward.
Everything in the past proved her ability, and she once thought that she would still be invincible in the UK.
However,
That's not the case.
Her life encountered a huge blow to some extent. It was not like the rising sun she saw when she first came to Britain, but more like the normal weather in Britain - a rainy day without sunshine.
Walking in such a rainy weather, Lin Wan felt an indescribable loneliness and timidity rising from the bottom of his heart.
To combat this emotion, Lin Wan began writing a diary.
September 17
This is my second week living in the UK.
The rain in London is fine and endless, a dampness that seems to penetrate deep into my bones. It is like a never-ending, gray sorrow. In this sorrow, the hope in my heart gradually shows signs of wear and tear.
To remedy this situation, I decided to start writing a diary from today.
September 21
I went out with Zhou Wangjing and his friends a few days ago. The countryside in England is beautiful. It was fun, but it cost a lot of money.
I suddenly realized that after paying for next year's tuition and rent, I didn't have much money left.
If this continues, I probably won’t be able to graduate successfully.
It’s really strange. When I calculated it before, it was clearly enough. Why is it like this now?
If this continues, I will have no choice but to apply for a loan.
September 25
I got a job at a coffee shop in a nearby alley.
The boss smiles brightly, but what he says never makes people happy.
My salary is very low, but I dare not say much.
Have I become a coward?
September 28
I found a part-time job in Chinatown. The boss is from Hunan and is very friendly. The salary is also higher.
Yesterday... I suddenly missed home very much, and also, missed Chen Yu very much.
I wanted to call him, but it was probably late at night there. Besides, I didn't seem to be in a position to make the call.
October 1
I worked all day today and was really tired. But during this time, I learned a lot of common words and can basically communicate with customers.
The boss lady said that today is a holiday, so she gave me extra salary.
At that moment, I suddenly wanted to cry, but I finally held it back. I walked out of the restaurant and squatted against the wall.
I don’t know why I’m so sad.
But today is National Day, so it should be very lively in China.
October 4
My fingers are swollen today, probably because I worked for a long time.
I just took a closer look and found that there were blisters.
But it doesn't matter, it will be fine after being punctured.
October 8
The weather in the UK in autumn is too humid. It hasn't been sunny for half a month.
On days when I don't see the sun, it seems that every breath I take will choke me with the thick moisture in the air, not to mention the mold growing in the stairwell.
Large patches of mold grew in the corners of the walls, making the peeling walls look particularly terrifying.
Every time I walked past there, I always suspected that an unknown monster would jump out from there and swallow me silently.
...swallow... well, I'm really too tired.
Why do I fall asleep even in class?
I wouldn't be like this before...
October 11
School started and I postponed a day's work to report.
There were many people at the school gate, all smiling happily.
Why are they so happy?
Why can’t I laugh… Maybe it’s because I’m too tired lately?
But I finally moved out of that cramped little room and no longer had to pay expensive rent and utility bills.
October 28
I haven't written a diary for a long time.
Today I was called by the teaching assistant to be criticized.
She told me not to work so hard, that studying was the most important thing now, and asked me to quit unnecessary jobs, otherwise I would be wasting my parents' money.
I know she means well.
——But I can’t quit, I have to earn enough money as soon as possible.
Having written this, Lin Wan stopped writing, threw away the dehumidifier bag that was already filled with water, and replaced it with a new one.
Lin Wan couldn't afford a dehumidifier, so she hung dehumidifier bags in various corners of the room. The colorful bags hung in the air added a touch of the bustling atmosphere of a big-box store to the dull room, making it seem a lot more lively.
The girl who shared the room with me was from Korea, but she seemed to also have accommodation outside the school and often asked to stay overnight outside.
So she was the only one who spent the night in the cramped dormitory.
Lin Wan picked up the international student loan application form on the table, then put it down again.
She had already filled out all the information above. If tomorrow's job didn't go through, she planned to apply for some more. It wasn't for anything else, but she was worried that she would suddenly fall ill while alone in a foreign country and not be able to withdraw money from her card.
Being alone in a foreign country with no family around, Lin Wan only felt a sense of security when he had money in his hands.
The owner of a Chinese restaurant introduced her to a new job as a Chinese teacher for children in Chinatown.
She has to go for a job interview tomorrow.
It was already late at night, and her roommate hadn't returned yet. Lin Wan guessed that she probably wasn't going back to the dormitory tonight.
The lights in the dormitory were off. After Lin Wan went over her self-introduction and the possible questions, she finally climbed into bed at two in the morning.
The bed was very small and the bedding was a little damp.
In the darkness, Lin Wan closed his eyes, but still couldn't fall asleep.
She thought of the nights back home, where she had a clean room, dry bedding, and a comfortable environment where she didn't have to worry about money.
In such circumstances, saying that you don’t want to go home or that you don’t regret your past decisions are all lies and are just showing off.
Lin Wan tossed and turned in bed all night, but couldn't sleep well.
This resulted in her looking extremely tired and having huge dark circles under her eyes when she faced the mirror the next day.
Lin Wan stood against the damp wall for a while, looking at the street view outside. After taking stock of the things that needed to be done today, he walked out of the room with his bag on his back.
She first took the subway to Chinatown.
Chinatown has always been bustling, and the familiar Chinese signs hanging on the doors always give people a sense of intimacy.
But the bustle also means chaos, there are many races here, not only Chinese, but also people from the Middle East and India. They set up stalls here and sell things from different countries.
The streets are chaotic and thefts are rampant.
Lin Wan carried her schoolbag in front of her, hung her cell phone wristband on her wrist, and walked quickly through the bustling neighborhood.
The interviewer was a young British man with light blond hair, wearing a denim jacket over a light-colored polo shirt.
The British seem to have a preference for denim.
Lin Wan originally thought that she would be harassed again. She even rehearsed how she would respond calmly and bluntly if the other party mocked her.
After all, she has been in the UK for several months and is no longer as dull and obedient as before.
But this time the interview went extremely smoothly. The interviewer simply asked her a few questions, including her name, age, and university. He couldn't wait to secure Lin Wan's job.
Everything went so smoothly that Lin Wan was a little confused, but since this was the job introduced to him by the boss's wife, there shouldn't be any big problems.
So she attributed it all to the urgent need for a Chinese teacher.
With this job, Lin Wan finally felt more at ease, feeling like she no longer had to worry about her tuition. As long as this job continued steadily, she wouldn't have to worry about her future studies or life.
With this confidence, Lin Wan finally went to the martial arts gym that Zhou Wangjing introduced her to a few months ago.
After walking around Zhonghua City for a long time with his phone in hand, Lin Wan finally realized that the place comparable to a Chinese garden that he had passed by many times was the Awei martial arts hall that Zhou Wangjing mentioned.
Lin Wan's confidence was gone.
She felt that the money she had might not even cover the cost of a single martial arts class. Lin Wan touched the backpack on her back and decided to leave.
It’s better to buy some pepper spray, stun guns and other physical tools for self-defense.
After all, the invention of tools is the embodiment of human wisdom. If you rely solely on your body, it will be difficult to make a major breakthrough in a short time.
In the noisy streets, Lin Wan consoled himself with this thought as he gradually retreated. He couldn't compare to the past, when he could lavishly spend thousands of dollars on a private restaurant without even checking the prices.
Before coming here, Lin Wan had been eating the cheapest frozen meals for three consecutive days. She even worried that she would develop an incurable disease due to such poor eating habits.
But there are other ways to exercise, and you don't have to spend money.
Lin Wan looked at the luxurious Chinese-style signboard and walked away. She couldn't afford it. She really couldn't afford it.
With the money, she might as well go to an art exhibition. After all, a painter she likes very much is holding an exhibition in the city starting today, which will last for a week.
Lin Wan has always wanted to go there.
When Lin Wan was completely away from the grand martial arts hall, someone suddenly patted her shoulder from behind.
A familiar voice came from the upper left.
It was Zhou Wangjing. He was training here, so running into him was normal. Lin Wan just had bad luck today.
"You just came here now? A few days ago, I asked Avi if she had seen you."
His knuckles were warm as he placed them on Lin Wan's shoulders.
It had been so long since she had any normal communication with anyone, and Lin Wan was extremely uncomfortable with this kind of contact. She subconsciously twisted her shoulders, trying to break free.
Zhou Wangjing was also very generous. He didn't notice her discomfort at the moment. He took her to the martial arts hall in a familiar manner, saying, "But you came at the right time today. There's a martial arts competition in Zhonghua City. Let's go and watch it together."
Are there martial arts competitions here?
These people are still aggressive at heart. Lin Wan thought blankly, and before she knew it, Zhou Wangjing pulled her through the luxurious gate she hadn't dared to enter just now.
The interior was pretty much the same as Lin Wan's guess, except that the architecture was more like Su's Garden.
Seeing the martial arts competition held in such a beautiful courtyard, Lin Wan couldn't help but sigh at their lack of taboos.
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