I'm not doing well.
Lu Zhiyan, having released his grip, greeted the stunned Song Zicheng, saying, "Long time no see!"
Song Zicheng did not respond, his eyes fixed on Lu Zhiyan. He tilted his head and frowned as he looked at Lu Zhiyan, who was speaking. He couldn't help but think to himself, "The real Lu Zhiyan is someone I can see and touch."
A school bell rang, its clear and loud sound immediately pulling Song Zicheng back from his reverie. He gave an "oh," adjusted the unnatural expression on his face, and replied, "Long time no see! What brings you here?"
"I came to Anhui on a business trip and heard that you are a teacher at a school. Since it's not far from here, I thought I'd come and visit."
Song Zicheng nodded, but before he could speak, Lu Zhiyan's voice rang in his ears again: "Do you have time for lunch? Let's have lunch together?"
“Yes.” Song Zicheng blurted out without thinking, “There’s a very authentic Anhui cuisine restaurant nearby, consider it a welcome dinner for you.”
"good."
It was only a short ten-minute walk from the school gate to the Anhui cuisine restaurant. The two didn't talk much along the way. Song Zicheng led the way, walking in front of Lu Zhiyan, while Lu Zhiyan followed behind him. Perhaps they both had their own things on their minds, and the brief silence on the way didn't feel awkward or inappropriate.
When the two arrived, it was lunchtime, and the hall was full of people. Song Zicheng walked up to the receptionist and asked, "Hello, do you have any private rooms available?"
"There's only one room left. Go upstairs on the left, room 208."
"Okay, thank you!"
"What would you like to eat?" Song Zicheng asked as he scanned the QR code on the table with his phone.
"You keep an eye on things, I don't know much about Anhui cuisine."
Since Lu Zhiyan had said so, Song Zicheng decided to be a good host. Before ordering, he suddenly remembered something, looked up and asked, "You still don't eat chili peppers?"
Lu Zhiyan nodded.
While waiting for their food, the two started chatting. "When did you get back?"
"I just got back a few days ago, and I'll mainly be developing my career in China from now on."
Song Zicheng nodded in agreement: "Returning to China to develop one's career is also a good option."
"Is Zi'an fully recovered now?"
"Um."
Mentioning Song Zi'an only intensified Song Zicheng's sense of guilt. Three years had passed, but this remained a deep chasm in his heart. Although Lu Zhiyan had not blamed him, he could never forgive himself.
"How have you been these past three years?" All his questions boiled down to one sentence: Song Zicheng really wanted to know how Lu Zhiyan was doing, and he hoped that Lu Zhiyan was doing well.
Lu Zhiyan thought about it seriously for a while: "Well, it's alright, quite fulfilling. The first two years after I arrived in France were very busy. I devoted myself to establishing and developing the company. Now it's slowly getting on track. Although it's busy, it's much easier than before."
Song Zicheng smiled as if he had been comforted: "Good, as long as you're doing well."
Since Song Zicheng had classes in the afternoon, the two said goodbye at the restaurant entrance after finishing their meal. "Goodbye, Song Zicheng!" Lu Zhiyan said.
"Okay, goodbye!"
Goodbye, goodbye—does it mean never seeing each other again, or will we meet again?
Song Zicheng couldn't remember what he said when they parted three years ago. Although it's true that memory fades with age, he was only 23 years old this year, in the prime of his life. If he wasn't doing it on purpose, how could he not remember something from three years ago?
Seeing Lu Zhiyan again today is already a luxury, so how could he dare to hope for the future?
Ever since Lu Zhiyan came to see him once, Lu Zhiyan would come to see him almost every week, or at most every two weeks. At first, it was at the school gate, but as the number of times they met increased, the meeting place gradually changed from the school gate to Song Zicheng's house.
"Zi'an, go open the door," Song Zicheng said when he heard the door open, as he was busy in the kitchen.
"oh."
"Zi'an, long time no see! You've grown so tall!" Lu Zhiyan, who was standing outside the door carrying gifts, bent down and looked at Song Zi'an.
Song Zian never expected that it was Lu Zhiyan standing outside the door. He was stunned for a moment as if he hadn't reacted, then reached out and hugged Lu Zhiyan's waist, his voice choked with emotion: "Uncle Lu, it's been so long, I've missed you so much."
Lu Zhiyan patted Song Zian's head gently and said, "Uncle Lu missed you too, that's why I came to see you."
Song Zian missed Lu Zhiyan too much, and stayed close to him, even when eating.
Seeing his younger brother like this, Song Zicheng frowned and said, "Zian, you're too close to your Uncle Lu. He can't eat properly like this."
Song Zi'an was not happy when she heard this. She pouted and grunted. Just as she was about to move her chair to the side, Lu Zhiyan said, "It's okay. I also want to be closer to Zi'an."
Lu Zhiyan's words delighted Song Zian. He grinned, showing his big teeth, and asked, "Uncle Lu, will you come often in the future?"
These words startled Song Zicheng, who was focused on eating. He paused, his hand holding the chopsticks faltering, and his lowered head completely concealed his nervous expression.
Lu Zhiyan did not answer immediately, but thought for a few seconds before looking up and staring intently at Song Zicheng: "If you welcome me, I will come often."
"Welcome, welcome, of course you're welcome," Song Zi'an said excitedly.
As expected, Lu Zhiyan kept his word and started visiting every three days instead of once a week. The frequency of his visits surprised Song Zicheng. When Song Zicheng saw Lu Zhiyan off downstairs that day, he asked the question that had been bothering him: "Aren't you busy with work?"
"Hmm?" Lu Zhiyan turned his head and asked in surprise.
The elevator dinged and stopped on the first floor. Song Zicheng stepped out first, looking down at the cartoon image on his slippers, and slowly said, "Actually, you didn't need to come. I made it very clear three years ago that I was grateful to you and felt guilty. I thought that after I wished you a safe journey last time, I would never have the chance to meet you again, but now that I see you are doing well, I am very happy."
“I’m not doing well,” Lu Zhiyan suddenly said. “Not at all.”
Upon hearing this, Song Zicheng's breath hitched, and his whole body trembled almost imperceptibly. He immediately raised his head, frowning incredulously as he scrutinized Lu Zhiyan, seemingly trying to discern the truth from falsehood.
After two months of disguise, Lu Zhiyan finally dropped his carefully crafted mask. Gone was his previous relaxed and smug demeanor. Standing before Song Zicheng, his eyes were filled with restraint and forbearance, and his handsome and composed face was full of melancholy and sorrow.
He gave a wry smile, then took a small step forward. The two were so close that they could hear each other's tense and rapid breathing clearly.
Looking into the face he had longed for day and night with his melancholy and affectionate eyes, Lu Zhiyan said clearly and firmly, "Every day of these three years, thousands of days and nights, I have been thinking of you, Song Zicheng. I love you."
The three words "I love you" are so touching and moving. Song Zicheng, who never dared to hope for anything, tried his best to suppress the restless, surging emotions within him, but at this moment, his heart still skipped a beat. The three words "I love you" seemed light and airy, but in reality, they felt like a stone blocking Song Zicheng's heart, making it hard for him to breathe.
Song Zicheng didn't know how to react, he just stood there blankly. The air was silent for a few seconds between the two of them. Song Zicheng didn't speak, and Lu Zhiyan wasn't in a hurry either. He just looked at Song Zicheng with burning eyes.
Three years ago, he so easily let Song Zicheng go against his own heart. In these three years, his longing for Song Zicheng has grown heavier day by day. His love for Song Zicheng, which had taken root and sprouted, has now grown into a towering tree that can withstand both wind and sun.
Three years ago, he had nothing. Three years later, he expressed his love for Song Zicheng with full sincerity and affection. This time, he would not let go. This time, he would press on step by step. He wanted Song Zicheng to belong to him willingly.
He wanted Song Zicheng to say it himself, and this time, he did not back down.
Song Zicheng, who had intended to remain silent and gloss over the matter, realized Lu Zhiyan's intentions. However, his stubborn nature prevented him from getting over the hurdle in his heart: "I'm sorry."
Those three words again, "I'm sorry," Lu Zhiyan had heard them countless times since returning to China. The fire in his heart finally erupted uncontrollably: "That's not what I want!" He grabbed Song Zicheng's shoulder, forcing him to look up at him. "Song Zicheng, three years have passed, and you still won't confess your true feelings? Is it so hard for you to say 'I like you'? Or were you lying before, and you've actually been holding a grudge against me, resenting me for using Zi'an to coerce you?"
"No, no," Song Zicheng replied. In fact, the resentment he felt towards Lu Zhiyan had long since disappeared.
"Okay, I understand."
Lu Zhiyan left heartbroken and dejected. Song Zicheng had so much to say, but he couldn't get it out. Of course he loved Lu Zhiyan, but he just couldn't forgive himself.
More than a month after the argument, Lu Zhiyan didn't come to see him or send him a single message. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Song Zicheng looked at the full moon in the sky, holding his phone in his hand, and couldn't help but murmur, "Is this really going to end this time?"
Despite having made preparations long ago, when the day finally arrived, Song Zicheng still couldn't accept it as calmly as he had imagined.
Many times, he opened the chat window with Lu Zhiyan, carefully considering each word he typed, only to delete and rewrite it repeatedly, never sending a single word. He really wanted to know what Lu Zhiyan was doing at that moment, whether he was saddened by his words, whether he was eating properly, and whether he was sleeping well...
He wanted to know so much, but he didn't know where to begin or where to start. In fact, his silence and lack of response tormented not only Lu Zhiyan, but also himself. Sometimes he thought that he owed Lu Zhiyan far too much, so much that he didn't know how to make up for it, or even if he had the right or the opportunity to do so.
Just as Song Zicheng was hesitating, a timely and appropriate phone call from Cui Junyu laid the foundation for the two to reconcile.
At four o'clock on Friday afternoon, Song Zicheng had just driven his car out of the underground parking garage to pick up Jiang Yuebai at the high-speed rail station when an unexpected phone call came in.
"Hello, Mr. Song, this is Cui Junyu."
Upon hearing the name Cui Junyu, Song Zicheng lowered his head and pondered for a few seconds before remembering, "Secretary Cui, hello, hello."
"Mr. Song, is it a convenient time for you to take this call now?"
Upon hearing this question, Song Zicheng couldn't help but feel worried: "Yes, what's wrong?"
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