Chapter 59 A Mess
Li Zimai originally thought that Cheng Che would not come back, and was even prepared to only be friends with Che Che online on his birthday. But at this moment, in the restaurant with a light on, Cheng Che was sitting there, holding a bowl and eating one bite at a time.
He moved slowly, without making any sound, his thin back slightly curled up, hidden in the dim light.
Li Zimai's heart suddenly felt empty for a moment, and he felt an inexplicable pain. He called out "Cheche" very quietly, as if he was afraid of disturbing something.
Cheng Che looked up at him and replied after a while: "...You're back."
"Why didn't you ask me to pick you up? When did you come back?"
Li Zimai turned on the lights in the living room, sat down at the dining table, and looked at him seriously, "Why don't you turn on the lights so late?"
Cheng Che didn't say anything, but slowly ate the plate of potato ribs. Li Zimai held the back of his hand and put the chopsticks of food into his mouth, "Let me try it and see what good it is."
The lumpy potatoes were particularly tasty, the spareribs were submerged in the soup, and the soup was served in a yellow, old bowl, which looked very miserable.
Cheng Che withdrew his hand and said in a muffled voice, "Don't eat it, it's bad."
The spare ribs had been carried around by Cheng Che for four or five hours in the hot summer and had already gone bad on the way, but Cheng Che was reluctant to throw them away and ate many mouthfuls while they were still hot.
Li Zimai took the chopsticks from him, moved the bowl in front of him, and put the food into his mouth piece by piece. "It tastes good. Is it made by grandma?"
Cheng Che stood up, took the bowl and poured out the potatoes with a cold face.
Li Zimai hugged him from behind and whispered softly, "Baby, what's wrong? Are you unhappy?"
Cheng Che hated the fact that Li Zimai always spoiled him, catered to his emotions, and treated him nicely without reason. He also hated his increasingly unreasonable temper in front of Li Zimai. He pried Li Zimai's hand apart and returned to his room in silence.
Li Zimai was not angry. He went to the kitchen to wash the yellow bowl and called home. Then he went into the room and hugged Cheng Che and coaxed him patiently: "What's wrong? Tell your brother who bullied you."
Cheng Che still didn't say anything. Li Zimai pressed on him, holding his fingers tightly, and said half-threateningly, "If you don't use your mouth to talk, then you must be doing something else?"
Li Zimai pretended to kiss him, but Cheng Che turned his face away, gently pushed him away, and changed the subject, "Aren't you going home?"
Li Zimai hugged him back in his arms, touched the back of his head and said, "Don't go back, I'll stay with you."
Cheng Che said sullenly, "Go back. You don't have to accompany me."
He knew how busy Li Zimai was these days.
Li Zimai pinched the back of his neck and said helplessly: "Then you just stay with me, okay? I miss you so much and I can't live without you."
Cheng Che buried his head in his arms and said softly, "Well... I missed you too."
Li Zimai was flattered and sighed, "It seems that our baby has really been wronged, but he didn't tell me about his grievances and kept it to himself. I am such a useless boyfriend."
Cheng Che looked up at him, his lips tightly pursed, as if he was choosing his words. After a long moment, he finally spoke, his voice soft and weak, "...My grandma always...always asked me to take care of her son."
It was a nonsensical sentence, but Li Zimai understood it and comforted him: "Just because grandma protects her son doesn't mean she doesn't love you, you know."
He taught Cheng Che step by step, "At her age, many of her ideas are already deeply rooted and difficult to change. You have to be considerate of her. You can't blame her for this, nor can you keep it in your heart. If you feel wronged, tell me. I understand you."
The summer after Cheng Che's college entrance exam, he had a major conflict with his family. It all started when Cheng Lijia pushed two elderly people, and Cheng Che was so angry that he had to be hospitalized. Seeing his grandmother, at such an old age, still going to the hospital every day to take care of her young son, Cheng Che felt both angry and distressed, angry at her foolish pampering and also angry at himself for being unfilial.
After that, he left home, filled out his application, and came directly to Beijing, renting a basement and working to earn tuition.
He didn't answer his grandmother's calls for two months and was determined to leave that home. Later, his aunt called him many times, crying and saying that his grandmother was sick and wanted to see him in the hospital.
Cheng Che rushed to the hospital. When his grandmother saw him, she burst into tears and didn't say a word. He took care of her in the hospital for half a month before he coaxed her into submission. He didn't dare to be angry with her anymore.
After school started, Cheng Che returned to Beijing. He used the excuse of being busy to avoid going home throughout his freshman year. He would comfort his grandmother on the phone and tell her not to worry, but he was unwilling to go back.
"...Li Zimai, does your grandma love you the most?"
Li Zimai smiled and said, "She doesn't love me the most. She loves my grandfather the most, then my brother, my parents, and finally me."
He lowered his head and kissed Cheng Che on the forehead, saying solemnly: "My grandma has many people who love her, so I don't put her first. I love you the most now, and I love you first."
Cheng Che muttered, "Is there anyone who ranks like you?"
Li Zimai smiled and said, "Of course not. I love Cheng Che the most in the whole world and I stand by him unconditionally."
Cheng Che's eyes were red, and he pinched Li Zimai's collar and repeated, "You said it yourself, no matter what I do, you must stand by me."
Li Zimai hummed, but a complex emotion welled up in his eyes. He tentatively asked Cheng Che, "...Cheche, if I didn't tell you something... would you blame me if you knew?"
"What is it?"
"...It's not a big deal...it's just you..."
"Forget it, if you don't want to talk about it, then don't talk about it. I also have something I haven't told you."
Li Zimai was silent for a moment, then said, "Then I want a golden ticket to be exempted from death, which means to forgive me unconditionally once."
Cheng Che suddenly sat up and asked coldly, "What did you do? Did you cheat?"
Li Zimai quickly raised his hands in surrender: "You are wronging me! How could I possibly cheat? Xiao Maimai only recognizes you, how could I possibly cheat!"
Cheng Che pinched his face and said bitterly, "You have so many ex-boyfriends, I don't believe you haven't touched any of them."
Li Zimai felt the need to explain everything in detail. "Okay, that's all for today. I'll explain it all to you so you don't always think I'm a scumbag."
He turned on the light and sat face to face with Cheng Che, counting on his fingers. "The first one is Yang Yanning, my high school classmate, in the same band. At that time, I didn't know my sexual orientation, I just felt that I didn't like girls. Yang Yanning saw it and wanted to pursue me. He even told my mother that I liked boys. My mother beat me with the guitar pole and wanted to send me abroad immediately.
After being severely beaten, I simply admitted it. I had never said before that I didn't want to play the cello, but after this incident I told them everything. My whole family saw me going through all this trouble, and I knew they didn't take it seriously, so I decided to just go with Yang Yanning.
Cheng Che interrupted him, "What does your not playing the cello have to do with you being with him?"
Li Zimai explained: "Of course it does matter. I'm rebellious. The more my mom doesn't let me be with guys, the more I want to show Yang Yanning around in front of her. The more she wants me to go abroad to play the violin, the more I'll play ball and games every day and ruin my hands."
He held out his left wrist pitifully and said, "Look, there's a bulge here. It still hurts."
Cheng Che slapped his hand away and rolled his eyes at him.
Li Zimai cupped Cheng Che's face and kissed him. After making sure he wasn't angry, he continued to explain, "Later, my mother compromised and didn't send me out. She wanted me to find an art school in China. She also agreed to my relationship with Yang Yanning, but she refused to let me study architecture. My mother was extremely fond of Yang Yanning at the time, and I broke up with him immediately when I realized something was wrong."
"Later, when I was out rebelling on my own, I met Mu Qi, who was a sparring partner at a racing club. After I went out a few times, he started pursuing me. Yang Yanning found out and told my mom, who then had someone beat me up and said I was a mess. I refused to accept that. I didn't do anything wrong, but you said I was a mess, so I'll show you how messy I am."
"Mu Qi and I agreed to break up in three months to maintain my image as a scumbag. After three months, we'll go our separate ways and this relationship will be over."
Cheng Che snorted coldly, "Then the next one is Xu Sinian, right?"
Li Zimai was shocked: "How did you know! Brother Che is paying so much attention to me?"
Cheng Che kicked him and said, "I don't want to listen anymore. Shut up."
Li Zimai refused to give in and hugged Cheng Che, refusing to let him go. "Xu Sinian and I had a clear partnership. He pretended to be my boyfriend and I helped him deal with some troublesome matters. We had agreed to break up after three months, but he refused and made a scene with Zhou Xumao and the others. Yang Yanning found out and told my mom, but this time she didn't send anyone to beat me up. She even had a long talk with me, so it was a victory. After that, I stopped being rebellious, and then I met you."
After Cheng Che listened to the whole thing, he said expressionlessly, "I don't want to lie in bed with you today. Either I go outside, or you go."
Li Zimai looked at him pitifully, "Even if I explain, you'll still be angry. If I don't explain, you'll think I'm messing around."
Cheng Che said coldly: "Aren't you a mess? You clearly don't like it, but you still want to associate with people. Isn't this a mess?"
"Yes, I didn't think clearly about it with Yang Yanning, but I was so confused at that time, how could I think clearly? I did have the intention to use her in the two relationships after that, but I don't regret it. If it weren't for that, my mother would have sent me abroad long ago, and I wouldn't have met you."
He knelt in front of Cheng Che like a broken jar, "Go ahead and hit me. After the beating, this matter will be over. Don't mention it again in the future, and don't think I'm irresponsible because of this."
Cheng Che hugged the pillow and was about to go out, but Li Zimai quickly got out of bed and held him back, "Okay, okay, I'll go outside, okay."
He muttered, "Tomorrow is my birthday, and I don't even have a birthday present, and they're kicking me out."
Cheng Che checked the time, frowned, and called Li Zimai to stop him: "Come back."
Hearing this command, Li Zimai quickly lay back on the bed, hugged Cheng Che and said with a smile: "I knew that Brother Che would not want to let me sleep alone."
Cheng Che didn't say anything, but his eyes drooped, and he was obviously unhappy. Li Zimai rubbed his head against his neck and acted coquettishly, "Brother Che, don't be angry. Those don't count. What I give you is my pure body and heart."
Cheng Che said coldly, "Am I not innocent?"
"Of course I'm innocent! Cheche only has me. My first love is mine, my first kiss is mine, my first night is mine, and even my belly has been mine..."
Cheng Che covered his outspoken mouth and said, "Can you please stop being so lewd?"
Li Zimai felt itchy, so she pulled his hand and licked it, saying in a burning tone, "Cheche... I kind of want to..."
Cheng Che refused rudely: "Don't even think about it. Aren't you not accepting customers recently?"
Li Zimai said jokingly, "It's open now, just waiting for Brother Che to patronize it."
As he spoke, he reached down and pinched Cheng Che's butt. Cheng Che grabbed his hand, flipped over, and straddled him. He pinched his cheek and asked, "You really haven't taken on other customers?"
Li Zimai raised his hand and swore, "As the heavens and the earth know, little Maimai has only had one benefactor."
Cheng Che was half-believing and half-doubting: "Whatever you say is what it is, and I can't verify it."
Li Zimai said helplessly: "Then how do you want me to prove it? You said that you would go through fire and water without hesitation."
Cheng Che laughed and said awkwardly, "Your mouth is the most annoying thing."
Li Zimai wanted to bring all the treasures in the world to Cheng Che so that he could see him smile every day. "Cheche, you look the best when you smile. If you have anything to say in the future, you have to tell me. You can't keep it in your heart, okay?"
Cheng Che lay in his arms, listening to his heartbeat and said "hmm". Just as the clock struck midnight, Cheng Che said in a low voice: "...hmm, happy birthday...brother."
The sudden soft and sticky "brother" made Li Zimai's heart beat like a drum, and his mind was full of dirty garbage. He hurriedly stripped Cheng Che's pajamas and forgot to ask for his birthday present. He wanted to kill his Che Che on the spot.
Cheng Che kicked him off the bed and said with clear eyes, "Go out and sleep."
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