Chapter 65 Breakup
After that day, they all tacitly avoided this topic, and the photo disappeared from the school forum and major groups. No one mentioned Li Shen's private life again.
But after school started, Cheng Che heard people talking about Li Zimai everywhere in the school, using ugly and hurtful words to belittle the person they would never catch up with.
Cheng Che didn't know if Li Zimai had heard it too, but he never cared about others and tried different ways to make him happy every day. However, the anxiety in Cheng Che's heart did not subside at all, but became more and more intense. He often had nightmares at night, dreaming of Cheng Lijia, his mother covered in blood, and Li Zimai leaving him.
Li Zimai used to have a good sleep quality, but he woke him up at the first sound, and then he had to patiently coax him back to sleep, even though Li Zimai was obviously very tired. Cheng Che saw this and became even more annoyed with himself.
Cheng Che's emotions finally erupted one day in late September.
Just after class that day, Li Zimai was working overtime in the project department with the dean, and Cheng Che was returning to the apartment alone. At the entrance of the community, a silver sports car blocked his way.
"Come in the car and talk, my dear Lizimai."
Xu Sinian took off his sunglasses and looked at him with raised eyebrows while sitting in the car. "You haven't heard of me, have you?"
Cheng Che didn't want to pay attention to him. Xu Sinian shouted from behind: "Li Zimai helps your father every day. Don't tell me you don't know."
Xu Sinian got Cheng Che to sit in the passenger seat as he wished. He drove him to a construction site that was being developed in the suburbs and told Cheng Che to look at the place. It didn't look familiar, so he said, "Your father works here."
Cheng Che clenched his fists, "What do you want to say?"
Xu Sinian smiled, unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned closer to Cheng Che to look at him. "I find you're quite handsome. I like your wild side."
Before Cheng Che could attack him, Xu Sinian tactfully sat back in the passenger seat and muttered, "Zhou Xumao said you could kill me with one punch, but I didn't believe it. Now it seems to be true. I don't know what Li Zimai likes about you. Doesn't he like obedient girls?"
Cheng Che said, "Is that all you want to say?"
Xu Sinian threw out a stack of photos and said with a smile, "Of course not."
Cheng Che didn't even want to look at those photos any longer. He didn't know when Li Zimai contacted Cheng Lijia, or when Cheng Lijia contacted Li Zimai. He just felt embarrassed and disgusted.
"I saw him driving out of the community gate last time. I wanted to talk to him, but he drove to this godforsaken place. A man came out to look for him. I saw him give him some money. I don't know how much it was."
"I knew something was wrong. It looked like blackmail. You know, Li Zimai has been spoiled by his family since he was little. He's never seen any evil in the world. I was afraid he was really being blackmailed by a bad guy, so I quickly went to find Brother Jiang Xun. Brother Jiang Xun told me not to interfere, but how could I? I just did a quick check and knew it was your father."
"Just ask for money if your father wants it. Why did you call him to such a dirty place? Don't you know how precious he is?"
"Are you done?"
Xu Sinian tutted his words and continued, "Don't overthink it. Although my family wasn't poor before, it was truly impoverished compared to the Jiang family. Li Zimai spent quite a bit of money when we were dating, and even after we broke up, my eldest brother even helped me get into the entertainment industry. So don't feel any psychological burden. To the Jiang family, money is just a number..."
Before he could finish his words, Cheng Che had already gotten out of the car. The door was slammed shut, shaking Xu Sinian's soul. "Be gentle, you have no manners."
Cheng Che looked at him coldly, "Don't think about Li Zimai. Even if I break up with him, it won't be your turn."
Xu Sinian grasped the key point: "Do you really want to break up with him?"
Sitting in the car, he loudly asked Cheng Che, who was walking away, to promise, "Don't regret it. Don't even think about going back after breaking up. A good man never turns back!"
After Cheng Che entered the construction site, Xu Sinian said to the person on the other end of the phone, "Your trick is really powerful. I guess he will break up with Li Zimaiti when he goes back today."
"But I feel so sorry for him. His father is a piece of shit. He'll be stuck with him forever, and he won't be able to get rid of him. What's the point of him being so outstanding..."
"You're right. Why should I care so much? Li Zimai will be free soon anyway. He must be very sad after the breakup. Let's compete fairly."
Xu Sinian hung up the phone, leaned over the steering wheel and looked into the distance. About half an hour later, Cheng Che came out. Xu Sinian was about to honk the horn when he saw Cheng Che's hands bleeding and his eyes swollen. He was walking alone on the bumpy road, his shoes were covered in mud and stuck in the soil, and he could not walk anymore.
Xu Sinian suddenly lost his temper.
Li Zimai didn't see Cheng Che when she got home, so she called him. After several calls, the other side finally answered. It was Cheng Che who asked first, "Where are you?"
"I'm home, why aren't you back yet? Didn't your afternoon classes end long ago? Where are you going..."
"Wait for me at the apartment."
Li Zimai was about to say "I'll pick you up" when the person on the other end had already hung up. He had a vague feeling that something was wrong, but he couldn't find the answer.
Yang Mingxi returned to the dormitory and found someone showering in the bathroom. He thought it was a freshman and thought that this new roommate showered without even making the bed, and that he might have some kind of mysophobia. When Cheng Che came out, Yang Mingxi asked in surprise, "Brother Che, why are you back?"
He noticed that Cheng Che's hand bones were blue, swollen and bleeding, and was even more shocked. "Did you quarrel with Li Shen? Why..."
Cheng Che had no expression on his face. He changed into clean clothes and shoes, and before leaving, he said to Yang Mingxi, "I'll be back to stay tonight."
Yang Mingxi became more certain of his guess and quickly responded, "Okay, I won't turn off the lights, but Brother Che, if you want to quarrel with Li Shen, just quarrel. Don't go into a cold war. It will hurt our feelings."
Cheng Che didn't say anything, but Yang Mingxi felt something was wrong. He wanted to report to Li Zimai, but was interrupted by Lu Jiayi's several life-threatening calls and forgot about it. When he saw Cheng Che again, it was too late.
Li Zimai was anxiously waiting for Cheng Che at home. He planned to take Cheng Che out for a walk during the National Day holiday and celebrate Cheng Che's birthday in advance. Last year, when he knew the specific date of Cheng Che's birthday, Cheng Che's birthday had already passed. He had to make it up this year, and he would celebrate Che Che's birthday as her boyfriend.
Cheng Che walked into the study room as soon as he entered. Li Zimai noticed that his hand was bleeding and asked anxiously, "Why are you injured again?"
Cheng Che pulled his hand away, his voice a little hoarse, "...It's okay."
Li Zimai refused to listen and wanted to take him to the hospital, but Cheng Che said, "I'll go by myself. I can take care of myself."
Li Zimai was stunned for a few seconds, "What do you mean take care of yourself? Don't you take me, your boyfriend, seriously?"
He held Cheng Che's hand and carefully applied medicine to him. He always kept medicine for bruises and injuries at home, all for Cheng Che.
"Who provoked you? Didn't we agree not to fight?"
Li Zimai's voice was filled with a hint of complaint and helplessness. He held Cheng Che's hand as if it were the most normal intimacy. There were obviously only a few small wounds there, and it obviously didn't hurt, but Cheng Che felt like something was blocking his blood flow, making it difficult for him to breathe.
He just looked at Li Zimai, and the voice in his heart was asking hysterically, can time stop at this moment, can the world be just the two of them, without unpleasant words, without the disgusting Cheng Lijia, but there is always someone reminding him that it is time to wake up from the dream and let the moon return to where it belongs.
He shoved all the computer and painting supplies in the study into his bag in a disorganized manner. Li Zimai helped him pack it up. "Is Teacher Zuo's situation so urgent? Are you going to work overtime again?"
Cheng Che froze, his eyes turning red. He said, "...I'm going back to the dormitory."
Li Zimai vaguely felt that something was wrong and asked tentatively: "Is there anything in the dormitory? I can go back and get it for you, or ask Yang Mingxi to bring it over. I just made some spare ribs, so I'll ask him to come over..."
"I said...I'm going back to the dormitory."
Cheng Che interrupted him and said in a trembling voice.
Li Zimai went to pull his bag and took out the things one by one. His hands were shaking a little. "...Why do you want to go back to the dormitory? There's nothing going on in school recently..."
Cheng Che wanted to push his hand away, but Li Zimai grabbed it tightly, "What's wrong? Are you unhappy? Tell me, okay? Don't go back..."
Li Zimai had never felt Cheng Che's strength was so strong that he could shake off his hand so resolutely and mercilessly. The bad premonition made Li Zimai panic. He hugged Cheng Che tightly and said in a trembling and low voice: "Don't do this..."
Cheng Che stopped struggling. He reached his hand to his neck and forcefully pulled off the chain he never took off. He said in the coldest voice, "...I don't want it anymore."
Li Zimai didn't know how it had come to this. He had just planned to take Cheng Che out to relax, and he had even prepared dinner for his Cheche to come back, but Cheche said he didn't want the ring anymore.
How could he not want it?
He refused to take the ring from Cheng Che's hand, so Cheng Che put it on the table, then took Li Zimai's hand and pushed it away forcefully.
Li Zimai hugged him tightly, his eyes red, and asked him in disbelief: "Are you going to leave me? Don't you want me anymore?"
Cheng Che's throat tightened and he was speechless. He finally understood what had been weighing on his heart for so long. It was that he could never get rid of that trash Cheng Lijia and was never worthy of the flowers Li Zimai had sent him.
"Speak up. You are joking. How can you bear to leave me..."
His voice had a hint of tears in it, and Cheng Che's heart felt like it was tightly entangled by dense ropes, causing him to almost suffocate in pain. He would always remember the first time he met Li Zimai. In the playground with so many people, Li Zimai was always the most conspicuous one, receiving everyone's enthusiastic gaze, confident and outspoken.
Completely different from the aloof Cheng Che.
He never thought of becoming friends with Li Zimai. He just wanted to get along with him, but later Li Zimai said that he liked him and wanted to protect him.
No one knew how anxious Cheng Che was.
Before he was eighteen, Cheng Che wanted someone to protect him. He didn't want to go home in anxiety every day, and he didn't want to face endless quarrels and violence. He also wanted to ask his parents for love like a normal child, but no one came to coax him, and his mother died that winter.
Only Li Zimai said that he would protect him, treat him well, and love only him. He lived in an uneasy love, too afraid of losing. He always wanted Li Zimai to give, and wanted to tie Li Zimai's hands and feet to pull him into his own inferior world.
"...Lizimai."
He looked at Li Zimai's silhouette through the gradually blurring curtain of tears. Numb pain spread through his body, and his cold fingers almost sank into the flesh of his palms. The anxiety and panic that had been swirling for a long time finally fell. He heard his own hollow voice ringing in his ears, "Let's break up."
Li Zimai felt like something in his body had stopped functioning, the excruciating pain damaged all his reaction abilities. How could Cheng Che break up with him? How could he not want him anymore? They had just kissed each other and said good morning in the morning, and Cheng Che had just said on the phone that she would wait for him to come back, how could it turn out like this?
He frantically hugged Cheng Che, refusing to let go, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to hold on any longer. "I don't want to separate, I don't want to break up, I don't agree."
When he was a child, his family taught him to respect other people's wishes, to love and respect himself, and to be able to take on and let go. But no one told him what to do when he wanted someone so much and couldn't bear to lose them.
This was the first time in his life that he fell in love with someone so much. He poured all his love into her and spent all his patience and energy to raise his Che Che, thinking that one day he would win Cheng Che's heart, but Cheng Che said that he didn't want him anymore.
He was extremely flustered and held Cheng Che's face to kiss him, but Cheng Che struggled desperately, as if he was burned by the heat from his body, and pushed him away with all his strength and cruelty. Li Zimai was anxious and angry, and kissed him even more roughly, full of arrogance and aggression, as if he was declaring his sovereignty and blocking Cheng Che's mouth to stop him from saying such words.
But Cheng Che, who had always been kind to Li Zimai, slapped Li Zimai hard. There was a bloody smell in his lips, which completely woke up Li Zimai from all his irrationality.
Cheng Che's palms were numb and the cracked wounds were bleeding. The blood was carried by the wind from his palms to Li Zimai's face. Cheng Che loved to kiss the little mole on the tip of his nose, but that place was also stained with dirty blood.
"Are you really going to break up with me?"
Li Zimai looked at him, trying to see the reluctance and struggle in his eyes, but Cheng Che soberly admitted: "Yes."
His eyes were red. Except for that night on New Year's Eve, Cheng Che had never seen his eyes red before. His hands were clearly shaking, but he insisted in the most stubborn tone, "Why did you break up with me? You know these two words can't be mentioned casually."
Cheng Che didn't want to stay any longer. He was afraid to see the coldness slowly gathering in Li Zimai's eyes. He was afraid that their last time together would end even more awkwardly.
Li Zimai refused to let him go, and used all his strength to restrain him. There was a storm in his eyes, and he said coldly and solemnly, "Why are you breaking up with me?"
His eyes grew darker and darker. Unable to hear Cheng Che's response, he clamped Cheng Che's cheek and kissed him violently, without a trace of tenderness. "I told you not to use your mouth for talking, but for other things."
He grabbed Cheng Che's arm and lifted him up. Cheng Che knew that he was strong, but he never thought that he would be so strong when angry. When he was violently thrown onto the bed, Cheng Che realized that he had really pissed off Li Zimai.
When Li Zimai doesn't smile, he looks a lot like Jiang Xun, with the demeanor of a superior who is difficult to approach. He is gentle and decent in front of everyone, and is the most educated young man. But when he is really angry, Cheng Che is afraid of him from the bottom of his heart.
He was afraid of Cheng Lijia, so he could use his fists to protect himself. He was afraid of Li Zimai but couldn't bear to punch him again. He could only push Li Zimai and say, "I don't like you doing this! Li Zimai... I don't like you doing this."
His voice trembled, and Li Zimai's heart ached immediately. He clearly wanted to teach him a lesson, to teach him a lesson for breaking up so casually. Li Zimai was clearly the one being mean, but Cheng Che hugged him like a victim and cried, saying stubbornly and sadly, "You want to break up with me. I don't agree. I won't agree."
"You love me, you obviously love me, why do you break up with me..."
Cheng Che obviously loves him. He would spend the money he had saved for a long time to buy him the robot he likes; he would cook his favorite dishes every meal, never caring about his own likes and dislikes; he would take care of his obsessive-compulsive disorder and put things away tirelessly every day... He never said he loved him, but Li Zimai could feel his love all the time. But how could he bear it when Cheng Che, who loved him so much, said he wanted to break up and leave him.
Cheng Che endured the soreness in his eyes and said in a trembling voice: "...Don't you know I'm very tired? I don't want to be with you anymore. I don't want to see your messy ex-boyfriends, your friends, your grandmother and your mother. I don't want to see any of them. I don't want to see them at all. I don't want to work hard to earn thousands of dollars and still not be able to buy you a short-sleeved shirt. I don't want to walk outside and people point at me and say I'm a pervert. I'm not as cool as you. I have to work very hard to survive..."
Li Zimai covered his mouth, tears falling on his face. "I will never talk to them again. If you don't want to see my friends, don't see them. I won't take you home. I won't wear those clothes and I won't hold your hand outside... Is this okay? Can we not break up... Don't leave me..."
At the end of his words, he was almost choked with sobs and could not utter a word. He begged Cheng Che so humbly to put aside all his pride and force this precarious relationship. But Cheng Che was still so cruel that he wanted to leave him and leave this home with his meager belongings.
Li Zimai looked at his back without even turning his head, and used the most childish threats, hoping that he would regret it. He said: "...If you leave me, I will fall in love with someone else."
Cheng Che paused, and said in the calmest tone, "I hope you can find someone who can hold your hand on the street."
Cheng Che really doesn't want him anymore.
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