Chapter 236: Joke Night
When the car arrived at the gate of Xuri, Director Lu and Bai Yun got out.
I drove directly into the underground parking lot. It felt awkward to carry such a large bag through the lobby by myself.
From the underground garage, I went straight up to the 17th floor. I entered the room and opened the bag to see that there were three in total.
Each portion was packed in a paper bag with two packs of high-end cigarettes and two bottles of Moutai liquor.
I took a good shower, changed into casual clothes, and headed to Baiyun's room with my things. He opened the door and Director Lu was there.
I smiled and said, "The director of women's affairs sent cigarettes and alcohol to the two leaders."
Bai Yun said, "How could such an unqualified director of women's affairs offer bribes?"
Director Lu chuckled: "Anyway, she'll only be in this role for a year at most, and then she'll be fired after the filming is over."
Bai Yun said, "Sit down, Director Lu is leaving tomorrow, and I was thinking of going over to chat with you."
Director Lu said, "It's okay to chat here. Writers and directors love chatting the most in the world. Inspiration comes when they chat. It's especially fun to chat with Teacher Wan."
Bai Yun got up to make me some tea, and Director Lu offered me a cigarette, and the three of them chatted about this and that. The content was variations without a theme.
We often talk about Zhang San and Li Si, and then from Li Si we talk about the Milky Way, and then we talk about "The Three-Body Problem" and quantum mechanics.
Then we talked about some strange things.
Director Lu said that one year he went to Guizhou to film a movie. At that time there were no highways, only winding mountain roads.
The car basically went up and downhill, and we had to travel overnight in order to get to the next stop for accommodation.
When the car climbed to the top of a mountain, he was sitting in the passenger seat and saw a woman in white clothes in front of him. She always walked in front of the car. He was horrified because it was twelve o'clock in the evening.
How could someone be on this mountaintop? And, he could be staying at a decent distance from the car. He was afraid to tell the other people in the car, especially to scare the driver.
After Director Lu said this, Bai Yun was actually a little scared and instinctively crossed his arms.
I asked, “What happened next?”
Director Lu said: "Later, the car stalled and the driver got out. We used flashlights to help check the cause, and the woman in white disappeared.
After a while, the car started up again. Fortunately, after going down the slope, the small town at the bottom of the valley was the place to stay.
We arrived at a small hotel in town, had dinner, and checked in. A moment later, the driver came over and said he was a little scared and insisted on sleeping with me.
I tried to ask if you saw a woman in white at the top of the mountain, who seemed to be walking and floating in the air. The driver waved his hands repeatedly, asking me not to mention it again.
Bai Yun quickly waved his hands towards Director Lu, "No more, no more."
I burst out laughing.
They both looked at me in surprise.
I said, "Teacher Bai, don't be afraid, I'm here." Then I walked over, wiped his forehead, and patted his shoulder.
Admiration is a kind of power. He believed from the bottom of his heart that I had magic, and I felt a little relieved.
I looked at Director Lu and asked, "Was it very foggy tonight?"
Director Lu nodded.
"What you saw was a woman in plain white clothes, with a lithe figure. She was just a silhouette from behind, and she never turned back, right?"
Director Lu was terrified when he thought about it, and he covered his eyes and said, "Don't mention it, I was worried the whole time that she would look back.
I happened to have a pair of small scissors in my pocket, and I gripped them tightly. Later I found that my hands were bleeding from the gripping.
I laughed out loud towards the sky, and I had to use this laughter to dispel the shadows and fears in their hearts.
When my mocking laughter filled the room, they were no longer afraid.
“There were no gods or ghosts. What you saw was just clumps of mist, blown by the mountain wind.
When the mist passes through the car window, it is continuous and it looks like someone is walking in front of you.
Despite my explanation, Director Lu was still a little frightened and said he would never take a night train again, unless it was on the highway.
Bai Yun complained to Director Lu that he had to sleep with Shanhong tonight because of this story.
Things got to the point where I had to say, "Wait, let me do some magic."
After a while, I brought over two talismans and two disposable cups, filling them with boiling water. When the water cooled a little, I chanted something, lit a lighter, and let the paper ash fall into the cups.
Then he pointed at Huaizi and said, "Drink this, and you will be safe from now on."
The two of them were as obedient as children and drank it all in one gulp.
I said, "It's better to tell some jokes."
Director Lu said, "You speak first."
I said, "My joke is in dialect. If you understand it, it's very interesting and funny. But if you don't understand the dialect, it won't make any sense at all."
Bai Yun said, "You go first. I've been to your upper state quite often, so I should understand."
"Let's begin. There was an old man who had three sons. One day, the father-in-law of the third son came."
Bai Yun explained to Director Lu: "It's the old man's in-laws who are here."
Director Lu waved his hand and said, "I understand this. It's just a meeting between the two in-laws."
I said, "Yes." The old man told his in-laws about the difficulties of life at home and how hard he had worked to marry three daughters-in-law. He described it this way:
My dear relatives, when you married your eldest daughter-in-law, the financial situation in my family was very tight. After she came over, I worked hard to develop the economy, and I finally loosened up the situation and made it a little more comfortable.
I just loosened it up a bit, and then I helped my second son get married. After the second daughter-in-law came home, it became tense again. I kept on doing it, and it loosened up a bit.
I was just relaxing a bit, and then I helped the third brother marry your daughter, and now I’m tense again. He clapped his hands and sighed: "My dear, what do you want me to do?"
I thought they didn't understand. But as soon as I finished speaking, they laughed so hard that they slammed the table and chairs.
Laughter drives away fear.
Bai Yun said, "Next time, you must tell Captain Gu about this."
I laughed so hard that I held my stomach and kept shouting "ouch".
Bai Yun asked, "What's the matter?"
I said, "This is what Captain Gu told me."
They both were a little bit unconvinced.
I introduced myself: "Last year, when Taiyi Temple opened, I asked her to help me organize a few people to arrange the program."
Bai Yun said, "I know that."
I said, "Yes, it was during that period. I rehearsed with them every day. You all know that rehearsals are boring, repeating the same thing over and over again."
During the break, I suggested that everyone tell a story. As a result, Captain Gu's dialect jokes brought me endless joy.
Director Lu clapped his hands and said, "This director of women's affairs is excellent. Close to life, very down-to-earth."
That night turned into a joke story session. We told so many stories that we laughed our asses off.
The next day, when I was sending Director Lu to the airport, he said, "When we're filming, I'll definitely come to your place to take some shots."
I said, "Thank you so much for your concern for my company. Actually, the scenery of Taiyi Mountain is quite nice."
He shook his head. "There are beautiful views everywhere. I mainly want to come back and listen to Master Wan's jokes."
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