Chapter 3: One look at the room's appearance reveals the owner's family affairs
On July 2, I began to teach Chunlai about Feng Shui.
Master and apprentice sat opposite each other, brewing a pot of tea. I first drew a house, marked its east, south, west, and north orientations, and gave it to him.
He poured me a cup of tea and said, "Master, please have some tea."
I calmed myself down and said, "You can't keep track. Just remember as much as you can. If you don't remember, ask next time."
He nodded.
"When we build a house and live in it for a long time, there will always be some problems, such as tiles needing to be replaced, sewer pipes broken, steps broken, walls stained and cracked, right?"
Chunlai nodded.
"Remember this—whenever there's a defect in the south side of a house, there will be frequent quarrels in the family. What does it mean to have quarrels in the family?"
"Family discord."
I nodded. "A harmonious family brings prosperity, right?"
Chunlai nodded.
"Do you know the first three lines of the Chinese idiom 'A harmonious family brings prosperity?'"
Chunlai shook his head.
I said, "A harmonious family brings prosperity to all things, but there is a prerequisite, which is: [A loving father brings peace to the mother; a peaceful mother brings peace to the son; a peaceful son brings harmony to the family; a harmonious family brings prosperity to all things.]
This means: if the father knows how to care for the mother, and the mother knows how to be close to the child, and the child is loved by his parents, he will be humble and sensible, then the family will prosper.
If you see a house with a defect on the south side, you can conclude that the father in that family is not strict, the mother is not kind, and the son is not filial.
"Why?"
"Because our houses usually face south. The south side is the main entrance, which is also called the face. A family that doesn't even care about face will naturally have a mess at home."
Chunlai said, "Master, my understanding is that because of family discord, everyone is full of conflicts and has no time to care for their family. Therefore, when tiles are broken, walls are damaged, and eaves are broken on the front side, no one is repairing them, is that right?"
I nodded in satisfaction. After taking a sip of tea, I continued, "If the north side of the house is damaged, it's a sign of great misfortune, bringing endless disasters."
Chunlai was surprised and said, "Is the damage at the back so serious?"
I nodded. "If the front is damaged, it only means that this family has no face and is constantly arguing. If the back is damaged, there will be a big problem. Think about it carefully."
Chunlai thought for a while, then suddenly slapped his forehead and said with a smile:
"Master, can I understand it this way? In a single house, the living area is mainly arranged in the back half of the house, such as the kitchen and bedroom."
I laughed and said, "You're a teachable kid. The back is our living area. If the kitchen and bedroom are leaking, and the back wall is cracked, and the owner doesn't bother repairing it, then not only has he lost face, he's also lost his integrity. With a life attitude that's like breaking jars into pieces, big trouble is bound to happen."
Chunlai said, "Master, I'll remember your guidance. Let me share my own experience. If the south side of a house is damaged, it simply means that the family is losing face and there is discord. But if the north side is damaged, it means that the family is losing its inner qualities and may fall apart at any time. A major disaster is imminent."
"That's right, I basically understand it. If I don't explain it to you clearly, then the book will only have two sentences: Loss in the south means disharmony, and loss in the north means disaster.
You can read for a long time and still not understand the origin of it. Many Feng Shui masters were taught this way by their masters, but they themselves don't understand it. This is called a partial understanding."
Chun said, "I understand. To learn Feng Shui, you must understand its meaning."
I began to teach him the second method: "A house with a wide front and a narrow back, like a trapezoid, will lead to poor financial security and few descendants."
"Why?"
"In feng shui, this structure is like a sword thrusting inward. The front house is generally used as a main hall or living room. The houses behind are where you live. Let me give you an example. If you walk into an alley and it gets deeper and deeper, do you feel scared?
Similarly, if you live in such a dark house, you will feel pressured when you walk in. In the long run, it will put a heavy psychological burden on you, which is not conducive to fertility.
So, you can't just memorize the formulas in the book. It's not that this family can't get rich, but getting rich is secondary. The key point is that there are few people."
"Master, this is a correction of your predecessors' works."
"Yes, we must learn from the knowledge of our predecessors, but we must also think independently. Therefore, houses should be built in a square or long shape."
Chunlai asked, "The palace is divided into many sections, and the emperor's living quarters are very deep and secluded. How do you explain this?"
"The palace buildings are not tightly connected. Between each palace, there is a large open area. The buildings are not trapezoidal, but square."
I was about to teach him the third method when someone came in. Our conversation was temporarily interrupted.
The man asked, "Are you... Master Wan... Wan...?"
I nodded.
He said, “Can you do counseling?”
I couldn't help but laugh and said, "Chunlai, pour him some tea."
He took the teacup with both hands, turned back and smiled at Chunlai, "Thank you."
I said, "You are a very cultured person. You are very considerate of other people's feelings."
He was a little surprised and looked at me: "Mr. Wan, how did you see that right away when we met?"
I smiled. “Usually, people just say ‘thank you,’ but you said ‘thank you.’ There’s a big difference. ‘Thank you’ is just a general courtesy. ‘Thank you’ is a specific act of gratitude.”
You are thanking him, and he hears that your words have warmth. Therefore, I conclude that you are a person who cares about other people's feelings."
He smiled bitterly.
I said, "You don't have to talk about your psychological problems yourself. I can help you talk about them all, okay?"
He looked at me in surprise.
This doesn't bother me, Master Wan. I've seen countless people, but I still don't know your symptoms? I count his shortcomings on my fingers:
"You are often in a state of anxiety. You appear quiet on the surface, but you are restless inside. You are always dwelling on the past and worrying about the future.
You care a lot about what others think of you and live in an unhappy atmosphere all day long.
The unhappiness I'm referring to isn't about your outward appearance, but your inner self. In front of others, you try your best to appear happy, but behind their backs, you constantly reflect, struggle, and suffer. Isn't that right?"
The man almost slid off the sofa.
"You really hit the nail on the head about my inner world. I work for a company, and things are actually going pretty well. However, there's always a sense of melancholy hanging over me, and sometimes I feel really uncomfortable."
Whenever someone is worried, I have to smile, because this smile is to dispel their worries.
"Does it make you unhappy when people cut in line or talk loudly on the train?"
"Yes, you are quite right."
I said, "You were born into an intellectual family and received a relatively strict family education since childhood. You have certain standards for being a human being. Whenever you encounter people or things that do not meet your values, you become unhappy.
You are gentle and polite, and you are unable to stop others. Whenever this happens, you are not angry with others, but with yourself.
I kept thinking to myself - how unlucky I am to meet such colleagues, such people queuing up, and such people riding the same train.
Over time, you become filled with anxiety about yourself, others, and society.”
He said, "Mr. Wan, I'm just like that. Some of my relatives are always taking advantage of others, some never make money, and some live in poverty and hardship all their lives. I always wonder why I always have relatives like this.
At work, some of my colleagues bully me, some are only interested in eating, drinking, and having fun, with no ideals. Some are just plain ugly, and I always wonder why I always end up with colleagues like this.
I said, "You're already deeply depressed. Let me teach you a trick: go to the gym and work up a sweat every day after work."
"Why?"
"First, you don't have that much time to dwell on these things. These things are other people's business, what do they have to do with you?
Second, you are weak and timid. Only when you strengthen your body can you have a broad mind.
Third, lower your standards. This world is complex. Where there is beauty, there is ugliness; where there is wealth, there is poverty; where there are people who are full of ideals, there are also people who do nothing.
Finally, I’ll leave you with one sentence: your so-called self-standards are nothing but the arrogance cultivated by living conditions that are slightly better than others.
If a war breaks out, you will definitely not go to the battlefield. Your weak body cannot make it there. Instead, you who think you have nothing to do will be the first to sign up.
I hate it most when you hold others to your own standards. Let's go, I don't want any money."
His face flushed red, and he hesitated for a moment. I urged him again, "Now you're better, come count the money again."
The man left angrily.
Chunlai thought I was going too far and said, "Master, can he bear it if you do this?"
"The disease is too serious and requires strong medicine. Okay, I will continue to explain Feng Shui to you."
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